A/N: Guess who's back? Ive missed you guys so much! Everything has been hectic the past month and I just needed a break but I'm better now and incredibly excited to get back into writing:) let me know what you think!
Heaven In Hiding
pt. 1
And when you start to feel the rush.
A crimson headache, aching blush.
And you surrender to the touch you'll know.
I can out on a show.
I can put on a show.
Don't you see what you're finding?
This is heaven in hiding.
And when you start to look at me,
A physical fatality.
And you surrender to the heat you'll know.
I can put on a show.
I can put on a show.
Don't you see what you're finding?
This is heaven in hiding.
—Halsey
"Love." Harleen's mother says, scrubbing a pan in the kitchen sink.
Harleen rubbed her lips together, looking at the dictionary in her hands as she sat at the kitchen table.
Taking a deep breath, the 17 year old flipped through the book until she came upon the word.
"An intense feeling of deep affection." Harleen spoke gently and her mother picked up another dirty dish.
"Lust." The older woman spit.
Again, Harleen flipped to the word.
"Very strong sexual desire."
"Love?"
"An intense feeling of deep affection." Harleen repeated.
"Lust?"
"Very strong sexual desire."
"And that's all I have to say about it." Her mother dried her hands off, slamming the cabinet doors before she left Harleen to herself.
Harleen had told her mother that she felt as though she were in love with her boyfriend of only a few months and her mother wasn't taking it well.
"Mom," Harleen went after her, ending up in her parents bedroom. "This isn't lust. It's nowhere near lust. I really think this is the real deal—"
"—Harleen, me and your father know the different between love and lust. And there is no way you can love this boy within a few months of dating."
"But I do!" Harleen shouted, aggravated. "Why can't you understand this?"
"Why can't you understand that you're being pathetic?!" Her mother barked back.
"I'm not being pathetic! I love him, Mom, and there's nothing else to be said about it because I've already told him!"
Harleen's words hit her mother sharply. Her face falls as if she's actually going to kill her daughter.
"You what?" She whispers.
"I–I told him, mom." Harleen calms down. "I told him I loved him."
Harleen wasn't expecting the slap she got next, her head whipping to the side from the amount of impact.
"Why would you do that, Harleen?" She forced her daughter to look at her, grabbing her jaw. "Why would you let him know that?!"
"I'm sorr—"
"—Stupid girl!" Her mother screamed, pushing her. "You don't let them know you care about them!" She continued and Harleen felt tears well in her eyes. "That's how they get to you!" She yells louder. "They find out you care for them and they use that to their advantage to get into your head and convince you to do awful, horrible, things for them!"
Harleen stared, horrified at her mother.
Why was she saying this? Why was this a big deal?
Harleen knew why her mother had gone off that day. Why she had said that.
Doctor Harleen Quinzel: youngest psychiatrist to take on the infamous Clown Prince of Crime.
She glanced at the Newspaper clipping in her office before turning back to her patient.
"Now you're mad at me." The joker scoffed, rubbing his face.
Harleen snapped out of her daze and looked at him.
"Huh?" She asks innocently and he realized she'd really not been paying attention.
He looked at her, studied her.
She was in her white lab coat, her glasses perched on her nose. The blonde, long hair had been put into a pony tail coming over her shoulder. Her black blouse showed a bit more cleavage than usual, and J could even see a peek of deep purple lace from her bra.
He knew she'd had different plans than just sitting and pretending to remain in their "patient/doctor" guidelines.
They'd been screwing for two months, now.
And she was suddenly clamming up on him.
"Do you think we're in love?" She asked suddenly and he could've fallen out of his fucking seat.
Did he hear her correctly?
"I–What?" He leaned forward.
"Well, we've been doing this for quite some time . . . "
" . . . Two months isn't that long . . . " his tone was contrary to what she wanted to believe.
" . . . And I don't know how I feel about you." She ignored him and J looked around as if he were supposed to say something about how there wasn't a way to describe what they were because they were "them". Just the thought made him want to kill something.
"Harley." He spoke smoothly and she looked at him.
"Are we in love?" She repeated her question.
"Hmm," he thinks a moment. "Usually when you care for someone you want to hear about their day, actually sit down and have conversations, and bond." He thinks aloud. "Since all we've done the last two months is fuck each other's brains out, literally, I'd say it's more on the lust side than the love."
Harleen felt her heart sink a little and she shook her head.
"Absolutely not." She argued.
"Okay then we love each other." He raised his brows. "We take long walks on the beach and watch sunsets together—oh, oh, oh, and we even have a fucking apartment together!" He piped, amused.
"J, I'm being serious." She scolded him.
"Baby," he stood, walking around her desk to her. "We are friends." He brushes a hair from her face. "We just have very, very, very beneficial circumstances." He explains with a sly grin and Harley found herself caught up in his eyes. "It doesn't have to be one extreme or the other. Lust nor love. It's just a friendship." He knew he was lying. An obsession was more like it. On both of their parts.
Harleen wasn't satisfied with this answer and stood, angry.
"Get back into your hand cuffs." She tells him.
"Harley," his voice was low. He was irritated.
"You have came in me 3 times a week for the past 2 months, Mister Joker. If you think that's what a friend does to another, you have a pretty generous outlook on what friendship is." She snaps and he's shocked by her little outburst.
"We're just that close." He holds his hands up in defense.
"I don't let you penetrate me for the hell of it." She looks offended.
"Penetrate?" He was trying to take her seriously but it was getting harder for him to.
"I care about you." She finally got it out in the open. "I care about you. You're not just some easy access fuck to me." She crossed her arms and he felt his insides light up.
Bingo.
"What're you trying to tell me?" He got closer to her and she looked up at him.
"I think I might love you." She admitted and he knew in that moment, that he had her wrapped around his pinky.
"Really now?" He perked up.
"Yes," she replied as he cupped her jaw almost roughly.
"Fantastic." He smiled silver and she felt breathless.
He was responding better than she thought he would.
Standing on her toes, she kissed him.
She kissed him with more enthusiasm and fire than anyone he'd ever kissed.
How could she not, though? She worshipped the ground he walked on.
Her mother's words came back to her and she found herself pushing J away.
"I–I have to go." She told him.
"I thought we were—"
"—I really have to go, J." She pleaded and he rolled his eyes.
"Fine." He put his cuffs back on, and when Harleen returned him to the guards to be taken to his cell, she clocked out and walked to her car.
She felt sick. Completely nauseas.
All she could think about was what her mother told her.
He wouldn't use you, Harleen. She tried to tell herself. You're different.
She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get herself together as she felt a panic come in on her.
Oh, God, what would he do to her? She knew she had made a mistake by telling The Joker she loved him.
But she couldn't help it! He was attractive and funny . . . Among other things.
Harleen got into her car and shut the door, rubbing her forehead.
She needed to go home. She needed to get out of there.
