AN: So this is based on an AU concept where Ford was REALLY unlucky during his short stint in the Do-Over Dimension and had his biological clock turned backward until he was a kid again. He still, however, remembers every bit of his life up to that point. This first one-shot is the initial reaction of everyone when he returns through the portal.

I have some longer stuff to share with you later that I'm halfway through writing that's from Ford's POV, and plenty more ideas to snack on that range from angsty recollection of Ford's multiverse travels to glorious family fluff! I also have some Weirdmageddon ideas. I doubt any of this will be chronological, so I'll let y'all know when the snippets take place in the notes each chapter.


1: Return

"Who is that?" Dipper asked, his brow knitting together as he gawked at the short, compact figure that- only seconds ago- crossed through the glowing maw of the wrecked portal.

"I- I don't know," Stan sputtered. "This isn't- wasn't who I thought would…"

The figure was dressed in all black, a thick scarf and a small pair of metallic goggles entirely obscuring the face. Thick, wild brown hair poked out from the front of the jacket's hood. They began to walk towards him and the rest of his family as the shimmering blue light from the portal began to die out.

"I dunno 'bout you, but that looks like a kid to me, dudes," Soos whispered to Dipper and Mabel probably a little louder than intended, hand cupped against his lips like a megaphone.

The four watched in uncomfortable silence as this mysterious fifth person crossed to their side of the basement, their heavy boots forming clear footprints in the dirt. They stopped in front of the red leather journal. The first of the author's journals, the journal Stan had kept in secret down here all this time. Slowly, the figure reached their pale hand towards the cover. They splayed their fingers out over the gold foil six-fingered hand, revealing…

That they had six fingers as well.

Dipper's mouth went slack. "What..?"

"The author?" Mabel whispered. "That's the author?"

The two glanced at Stan, searching for answers, but their Grunkle's expression was close to unreadable. What they could tell was that he appeared just as surprised and confused as they did, his eyes blown wide and his mouth screwed into that sort of anxious frown he got whenever he couldn't figure something out.

The small figure (the author?) picked up the journal, hugged it to their chest with one hand, and then used the other to pull back their scarf and goggles. Instantly Dipper saw that Soos was right. This mysterious person was a kid. A young boy, probably right around his age. He wore thick glasses. Untamed brown waves- just a little longer than a usual boy's haircut- framed his face. Oddly, Dipper found that the shape of the boy's nose reminded him a lot of the Pines family nose. At first a part of him just dialed that to coincidence, but the more he thought about it the resemblance he found within this boy's face to his own was quite interesting. His small mouth was set into a scowl as he looked around the basement, to the wrecked portal, and finally towards Grunkle Stan.

"Ford…?" Stan whispered, breaking the thick sheet of silence. "Wha… what ha-"

"What happened?" the boy- Ford- said in a clipped manner. "Time. Mistakes. Years of my life, stolen away. It's a long story, Stanley, and frankly, I'm not sure I'm in the mood to relive it at this time."

Dipper, Mabel, and Soos watched in utter confusion as the two continued to converse in familiarity.

"So like… Mr. Pines knows him?" Soos wondered out loud.

"It looks like it," Dipper replied, continuing to watch the pair talk. The kid seemed really upset with Stan, and from what he could hear was chastising him for activating something. Activating the portal, maybe?

Mabel pulled at her brother's arm. "But this makes no sense! If he's the author," she said, jabbing her finger towards the black clothed kid, "then why is he so young? The journal was from the eighties, Dipper. The roarin' eighties!"

They watched as Stan opened his arms, as if desiring to hug the child. Ford hesitated for a moment, scowl returning to his face, but soon it softened and he accepted the affection. Their Grunkle wrapped his hands around the kid's small frame as tightly as he could.

"I know you're still angry with me and everythin', but I really missed ya'," he said. Dipper could swear he could see a stray tear in his eye.

The corner of Ford's mouth tilted into a smile, just for a second, but it was there. "I don't like the risky move you made, restarting the portal," he said, shooting a slight glare towards Stan, "but I… I am glad to be home."

"Sorry Sixer, 'm not apologizing for that. Never would, never will."

"You always were a stubborn ass," the kid said with a short chuckle.

Stan's face froze. He pulled away from the hug, his expression twisted into pure horror.

"Whoa, whoa, Ford! Watch your language! Not around the- oh," he interjected himself suddenly, scratching awkwardly at the nape of his neck. "I, uh… I guess I never thought ta' introduce everyone."

Now it was Ford's turn to panic. His eyes shot wide open, finally noticing the other three people standing around the basement. "Stan, you didn't tell me there were children down here!" he replied, his voice raising into a slightly higher register.

"You're a child now, Poindexter. It takes one to know one," he said matter-of-factly, and ruffled the disgruntled kid's hair.

Ford swatted his hand away in indignation. "Please don't patronize me."

Stan rubbed his hands together, and then gestured towards the boy. "Anyways. Kids, Soos, this is- well, this is my twin brother. Ford. He's kinda, eh… smaller. Than usual. Ford, this is your family. Shermie's grandkids…"