letter 83

I saw you today.

You were with her and it broke my heart. I couldn't help but smile at the look in your eyes. I know that look it's the same look you used to give me,

the same one I still give you. You're happy, you're in love. I can see it everytime her hand reaches for yours or when she laughs, your chest swells and your eyes

get a little bluer if that is even possible. I'm glad your happy that's all I've ever wanted for you, to just be happy, even if it's not with me.

Peyton came by today she's so broken, she misses you like crazy. I comforted her while she cried on the couch my heart breaking with ever sob that espaced her

lips, but i can't make a sound. I can't let her know that my heart is aching for you, the boy i used to call my boyfriend my broody. So i just sit with her, I rub her hair,

and rock her as she falls asleep. She's strong and she's a fighter. I know eventually she will learn to live without you. I know I'll be fine too. You can't tell because I

hide it better than Peyton, but inside I'm just as broken as she is. I try to keep busy with work but it cant feel the ache in my chest where you used to be.

Your words comfort me. I read the lines in your book that you wrote about me everyday. I still remember the night you showed them to me. When you walked in

the room that night I didn't know what to do. I hadn't been that close to you since we broke up and even though I tried to pretend that my feelings for you were

gone, I knew in my heart that I was still in love with you... I'll probably always love you! When you handed me the book, the moment I read those words, my heart

sank. I fell in love with you all over again. You don't know how bad I had to fight the urge to kiss you right then. If we had still been dating, I would have had my

way with you right then and there. Sorry even when I'm trying to be serious i can't help but add in my Brookisms.

Anyway, those words brilliant, beautiful, and brave have been my saving grace through all these years. I'm trying to be that for you especially the last one brave.

That's always been a tough one for me. You know me so well and if you were here you would say that I'm the bravest person you know. After Angie left, I

remember you telling me that I save people. You said I saved you. But honestly lucas, you saved me long before that. If I do change the world it will be because of

you, and if I can smile and be brave and tell you that I'm so happy that you've finally found the girl of your dreams, it will be because of you.

I wish it was me. You know that night you broke up with Peyton and we pretended that we were engaged, I imagined that it was me you proposed too. When we

planned our life together in my mind it was real, because in reality it was everything I could have ever hoped for and more.

You're an amazing guy. You have so much love in your heart. I know that if Keith could see you now he'd be so proud, just like I am. I've watched you grow up to

be a terrific uncle, friend and brother, and now a husband.

You'll be an amazing husband, Lindsay is a lucky girl. She really is amazing Luke. She's sweet, beautiful, smart, and she challenges you. Plus, she loves you

unconditionally and for that I'll be eternally grateful to her. I know that you too will have a wonderful life. Full of love, laugther, and children.

You will make an amazing father, I've always thought so. The way you look after Lily and Jamie, you're so amazing with them. That child will be the luckiest kid in

the world to have you as a father.

But all things good must come to an end right? I''ve always hated hearing that, but I think it hurts so much worse when you realize it's true. I know that she is

what you want and it's going to suck and I know it's going to hurt like hell because it already does, but I'm willing to let you go for that reason. I love you too much

to confuse you anymore, that's why I know I can't tell you any of this.

Do you remember the night you were worried about Keith and your mom? I told you that people that are meant to be together always find their way in the end.

Well I still believe that is true and maybe one day we will find our way back to each other. But for now I can't keep holding on to false hope. It hurts too much.

I love you Lucas Scott more than you know, and I have know doubt that I always will. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives,

I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent our summers beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that

awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That's what you've given me and i hope that's what

you will have with Lindsay forever.

I know that you would be saddened by this if you read it because you've always hated goodbyes. But there are no good-byes with us, where ever we are, you'll

always be in my heart.

I'll be seeing you,

Your pretty girl, Brooke Davis