I hope everyone will enjoy this poem story of sorts. I wanted to use this format because there is no conversation that Meg is having, except with herself. In my opinion, Meg is always fighting herself.
To be candid with everyone I wrote this while tipsy on wine myself, hence the inspiration. To be honest I have no idea where the idea of Meg came from out of my semi drunk brain. I suppose she was in my brain kicking me & demanding a story, so I listened to my inner Meg. I think all of us have a little microcosm inside our heads with all our favorite characters, even the ones we make up. Meg merely demanded her turn.
When the idea came I was looking in my bathroom mirror at my blackened teeth tongue & lips. I became enthralled with the deep possible symbolism of it all.
Everything you are about to read is straight from my notebook in the way I wrote it, the only changes are the formatting, also the gross spelling & grammar errors.
If you read the words in Meg's voice & inflections, it will make more since, at least to me. It's important to take into account that through out this Meg is slowly feeling more guilty dazed & hopeless. At times her words/mine may not make much sense, I felt that kept everything raw.
Please enjoy this, I know I did writing it. Also please review they are like my fish flakes. I'm a goldfish in a bowl... please give me my fish flakes!
Wine Stained Lips
I stumble into my small & humble home,
Nothing to scoff at but nothing to flaunt,
Tonight was a reviver of memories,
AAAAAHAHAAA … MMMHHH
I stumble past the end table & past the couch,
The hard learned truths are too much for me at this moment,
…
AAAHHH I see the wine jug *scoff*,
No need to hold back tonight,
Fuck it all…
Down it all,
Screw them all.
He wasn't supposed to be so goddamned perfect,
This was NOT going to require emotions,
The man in flames spoke his smoldering words in faith,
To beguile is what life has conditioned me to do!
Those eyes…
Those honey dripping words…
All I wanted to do was fall to my travail hardened knees,
To shovel the fallen to the earth words in my mouth with abandon,
To close my eyes in ecstasy & taste every note within.
*Gulp/Swallow*
My eyes are rolling,
My forehead throbs,
My chest tingles with the alcohol,
My dress has slipped & my sandals are in two different places.
I lie on my couch,
The wine jug is slipping from my fingers,
I want to hold it tighter so it won't shatter…
Just like my heart.
AHAHAAHAAA what heart?
But I no longer care enough to hold on,
All I care is to remind myself,
"I won't say I'm in love"
AHHHHHH HA HA
LOVE
No use holding onto the jug anymore,
It's empty anyway… like my heart is supposed to be,
So I let it shatter,
Oh the hollow shatter of clay.
…
The same way his abs & perfect body,
Are the reminiscent of the clay statues in the gardens of the gods.
…
No, no more weakness,
I need to clear my head,
They say only the gods can judge you,
But what about how you judge yourself?
…
I barely make it to the outside well,
I draw up a bucket of water to wash my face,
The water's reflection flashes me my wine stained mouth.
My red-purple tongue reminds me of the lies I spoke,
How I seduced & beguiled my wonder boy.
My purple tinged teeth symbolize every time I lied through them,
Every time I smiled a fake smile,
And more importantly,
Every time I did not bite my tongue when I spoke what wasn't true,
Let's not forget,
Every time I gnashed my teeth when he turned his trusting back on me.
…
Even so my lips are cracked & black-purple,
Because of the times I said things I did not feel,
And the instances I had every intention of receiving his kiss,
When I would be the means to his ultimate end.
Then I realize the water cannot show me these things,
I merely know these stains mark my mouth because I acknowledge my sins,
They reveal a stronger truth than I have all night.
Experience has taught me more than heartbreak,
I don't need a reflection to tell me the stains are there.
Ultimately the water damages me more than the wine,
For it hits me ten times harder,
All the wine does is soften the blow,
I should know this.
Wine regresses,
While water reminds.
No - I can't take his now,
Not tonight,
Desperation becomes me.
I spill the water like I do the wine,
Except I see his blood in the water,
More than I did the wine.
Water truly does remind,
His blood will spill,
The same way I did the wine,
The same way I will cut his heart open,
The wine comes back to haunt me,
Worse than the memories,
Both worse than before,
The wine the water & the blood will all soak my hands!
*GASP*
I drop the bucket,
I lose my feet,
I grab the side of the well,
But there is not even enough strength to hold me up,
I'll let the weakness take me over,
Maybe he will see past my lies,
Maybe he's not as easy & weak as I think he is,
Like I am.
Maybe he'll find me & cut my heart out,
Then I will be free from everything.
I let the cold from the stones seep into my skin,
And farther into my bones.
Sigh
Rolls on a side
Closes eyes
Mutters
I'll clean all this up tomorrow…If I ever wake up again.
-Sleep-
