Day 34
New roommate Leonard leaves much to be desired. He whistles. Specifically stated in ad that whistlers need not apply.
Still have not won Nobel Prize. Am the smartest
Day 97
New friends: 2. Names: Raj and Howard.
Leonard still whistling. Am contemplating the creation of a new roommate contract.
No progress made on the Nobel Prize but still the smartest.
Day 102
New friends: 0. Nobel Prize: 0
Thus far, not a promising day.
Day 389
Blonde girl moved into the apartment across the hall. V. hot. Think Raj and Howard might be gay.
Nope, no Nobel prize.
Day 401
Blonde girl has a name. Penny. Kinda cute. Have decided to make my move. Will let her win Halo. Expect kisses when she beats me.
Still smartest, but no Nobel.
Day 402
No kisses. Might she be gay too?
Day 430
Met 15 year old prodigy. Told me I am not the smartest. Will show him.
Day 432
Showed him.
Am still the smartest. Go me.
Day 467
Hung Penny's underwear on telephone wires. Have discovered she is V. hot when mad.
Hope she doesn't notice I stretched the purple pair.
No prize, no kisses.
Day 502
Today gave Penny hug. Did not receive kisses. Am V. frustrated. Will have to rethink strategy.
Still no Nobel Prize.
Day 511
Raj and Howard definitely gay. Think Leonard might be gay too. Caught him looking at my bum.
Still no prize.
Day 514
Leonard not gay. Caught him making out with Stephanie.
Day 534
New friends: 1 Nobel Prizes: 0
Must fire existing friend to make room for new friend. Will drop hints in questionnaire to upgrade Penny to "girlfriend" status.
Day 535
New friends: 0 Girlfriends: 0 Kisses: 0 Nobel Prizes: 0
This sucks.
Day 565
Nobel Prize: 0 Kisses: 0
Have decided absence makes the heart grow fonder. Am going to Antarctica. Am hoping for kisses on return.
Am still the smartest, thank God.
Day 654
Kisses: 1
Go me!!
