Summary:

The Cullen's, Bella included, have decided to spend six months on their own private island. No humans allowed. Packed with animal blood, and all of them excited for the trip in their own ways- what happens when on the plane, the girls come up with a List of the best palces to have sex, which then leads to a bet- who can do the most places in the six months? This fanfiction is sure to include many hilarious moments

OoOoO Commence with the Chapter OoOo

"I still think it's ridiculous," I said, for the millionth- and last- time of that week. Alice didn't even look up from her packing.

"I think half a year on our own island would be nice... It's a foolproof plan as well. We take our own private jet out there, and then spend our vacation wasting away in the sun. What more could you ask for?"

"Ah yes," I answered back, my voice sarcastic. "And we can feast on the sharks and the tropical fish?"

Alice sighed and threw me a slightly dissapointed look. "Bella, we are bringing with us enough blood to last us at least a year! And the fact that there will be no humans on this island means we could go longer without hunting... Without worrying about having to restrain ourselves. Sure, the fact that the blood isn't fresh will make it taste sort of like... like- skim milk to humans-" she saw my raised eyebrow and giggled. "Oh yeah. You aren't human anymore.. Sorry, Edward always had us trying to make human comparisons so that you would understand things better."

I scowled good-naturedly. It had been almost a year since Edward and I had married, and kept good on our promises. All of them. We had found out about my natural aversion to human blood, and that had only been another plus. Being with Edward was number one on the list.

"I'll never know how you managed to get gallons of animal blood in time," I said casually, folding another shirt of mine. Alice frowned at my work, and unfolded it, only to fold it again her own way.

It was Rosalie who answered, strutting her way into the room, she smiled at me. After I had been turned, most of her previous dislike towards me had dissappeared along with my blush and heartbeat...

"I think Carlisle did it... He always has these sorts of things prepared for." I opened my mouth to answer her, but was interuppted by a small hand on my mouth.

"Bella- if you don't stop talking, the men are going to leave without us," Alice said, her small hands folding quicker. Both of them had packed days ago, but I had put it off until the last minute.

"How do you know?" I snapped back, a natural reaction.

"I had a vision."

"Liar."

Alice went rigid all of the sudden, her eyes showing us that even though her body was present, her mind was far gone.. Both me and Rosalie cast each other a side-ways glance, wondering if she was really seeing us missing the plane or not. Of course the men wouldn't leave without us. Right?

Alice came back, a look of shocked delight written of her face, and burst out laughing.

"Oh that was good... So good..." she murmured, leaving both of the unpsycic vampires in the dark.

Seeming to notice our presence, and shocked glances, she gave us an innocent look.

"What?"

I shook my head. "Never mind."

Alice burst into a grin, finally closing my suitcase.

"All done ladies, next stop, the plane."

OoOoO

It was rainy today- but that was nothing new- as we drove to the airport at ridiculous speeds. Even though I hated to admit it, I understood the need for speed now. As a vampire mingling among humans, we have to slow ourselves down considerably. In a car was one place where we didn't have to.

I felt regret for all the times I made Edward drive slower.

"Bella, wipe that frown off of your face. Anyone else would be excited about going to a private island for months!" Alice shrieked, taking both hands off of the wheel and tossing them up in exasperation to prove her point.

"It's not that I'm not excited... I just have a bad feeling," I confided. I had had this feeling since the trip was suggest (by Emmett and Rosalie of course). The two were only joking at the time- us in the sun with humans! Ha!- but then Carlisle had mentioned the island, and here we were.

"Leave the feelings to Jasper, Bella, and have a good time!" Rosalie said from the backseat.

I didn't answer, for Alice's ridiculous speed had gotten us to the airport quicker than I would have thought possible. She must be extremely excited.

My spirits heightened at the thought of being reunited with Edward. I hadn't seen him for nearly twelve hours. I was going through withdrawel.

I finally spotted a flash of bronze hair, and it calmed me instantly. I jogged the last few feet between us and wrapped my arms around him. He grinned down at me, his topaz eyes seemed alight with excitement.

I pressed my lips to his hard, and he put a hand, which was no longer as cold and hard to me, on my lower back, pressing us closer together.

I felt his tongue edge along my bottom lip asking for entrance, but before I could grant it I was pulled away by Alice.

"Yes Edward, she missed you, no she isn't looking forward to the trip, and I saw the dirty little fantasy of yours," Alice said too quickly for a human to hear and pulled me up the steps into the little jet. (I know nothing about planes people- or private jets... Bare with me, I won't explain in much).

"What was that all about?" I asked, confused by her little outburst. She pulled me into a room and closed to door behind us. Pressing an ear to it, she reminded me of someone trying to listen in on a conversation. I giggled slightly.

"He was going to ask if you missed him.. If you were excited about the trip... And then his mind went into a rather explicit fantasy involving you and one hell of a pair of fishnet tights," finally taking her ear away from the door, she flashed a grin at me.

Had I been human, my face would have been a permanent shade of tomato red.

"Fishnets? You don't say... Edward might have a kinky side in him after all," I turned to see Rosalie lounging on a black leather couch, her blond tresses creating a golden pillow for her head.

"Shh!" I hissed, throwing a glance at the door. "Edward could hear you!"

"Nope. At least- not through the door. These rooms are soundproof. Handy huh? But he might have heard through our minds... Ours I mean," she answered, motioning between herself and Alice.

"But at the moment I am translating a popular Rammstein song into English- then Russian- then Italian... And Rose- what are you doing again?"

"Remembering the things Emmett did last night. His tongue is-"

"Ugh!" I half-shrieked, covering my ears. I may no longer be such a bashful virgin as I was a year ago- but the things Emmett's tongue did... I didn't want to know.

"Oh, you both stop it! I had a vision, and you both will get a kick out of it..."

OoOoO Halt OoOoO

Author's Rambling:

Yes it was short- but it's meant to be. After all... I can't give you people too much without expecting a little in return. Oh say... reviews?

Review are like chocolate, they make everything better

xxNevermorexx