Disclaimer: I don´t own the characters. Those belong to the makers of Vampire diaries. Made for fun.
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She is always wondering what if, and she can not seem to shake it. Why is it so hard to forget about his dimpled smiles, the ones he reserved just for her or his unbelievably blue eyes that seem to look right into her soul every time he looks into hers? He has promised her to leave her be, if she was finally honest about her feelings for him and she was. "I want your confession" he told her and confess she did, even though words were not exactly used for it. And now he is keeping his promise to her, to never come back. She should be relieved to finally be free of him. The problem is she wasn´t, because in being true to her feelings, being honest with him, she was finally honest with herself in a way she had not allowed herself before and now never seeing him again feels like a punishment instead.
Every night is the same. Every time she closes her eyes it is hard to fall asleep, because she can´t stop thinking about that "hot- but- oh- so- forbidden- original- hybrid –sex". But dreaming is even harder, because in her dreams she relives every word, every touch, and every feeling she had that day in the woods. She is able to feel his hands on her, rebuild the feeling of his hard abs under her fingers and the ecstasy he made her feel. And when awakes she feels lost, because something is missing in her. It´s like a hole that keeps growing and again there´s that question in her head. What if? What if he was here with her, would she feel whole again?
Even though he kind of set her free, she doesn´t know what to do. She scrolled down to his name many times, but never dared to call him. Because the truth is, she´s still holding on to the belief, that her feelings for him are wrong and she hates herself a little bit every time she looks at his name on her screen. She´s not sure if that hate is because of the hold he has over her and her feelings, or if it is because she does not press that button.
Sometimes she asks herself why? Why does she not hate him, why can´t she just forget him and why does she feel things for him in the first place? But the answer is kind of easy. She matters to him. He put her first when no man in her life ever did. Even though he is a monster (she is too, but not as bad as him) his feelings for her are the most honest thing she has ever seen. He wants to show her the world and for her, he has become softer. He has changed in some ways just for her. And that matters to her more than anything else.
She has tried so hard to resist, but one morning she can´t anymore.
And what is so wrong about this? She has always put her friends first. She has never been selfish, but now she feels it is time for her to think of herself. She does deserve to be happy too, doesn´t she? And if her friends love her, they will understand. So that morning, when she looks at her screen, she finally pushes the damn button.
"Love?" his shaky voice sends shivers through her body and for a moment she is not able to form any words. He sounds surprised, but oh so hopeful.
"Love, are you there?" He asks again.
She doesn´t know what to say now, she had not exactly planned to call him, it was more a spur of the moment thing when she gave in.
"Break your promise" she tells him and hangs up again. She hopes he will break it fast.
Two days went by and he still wasn´t by her side. She was thinking about him non stop now, but she started to believe that he wouldn´t come. Had she just imagined his hopeful tone? Maybe he just wanted to bed her and once he had, he was not interests anymore. Had she always been this insecure? She thought she had become a strong woman after her transition to a vampire. He had told her that her strength was what fascinated him in the first place. How come that now he was the only one able to make her feel fragile again?
She´s sitting outside and it´s raining, but she doesn't care. She really wants to cry right now, because by now she is sure that he had moved on to bigger and better things. Who was she kidding, she is just a baby vampire. Why had she thought she could be everything to the most powerful being on earth who has a thousand years of experience? She closes her eyes and lets a single tear fall. But then she feels it, his touch is indescribable. The way he carefully wipes that tear away is so full of tenderness. When she opens her eyes he is there. As glorious as the day he left. His eyes bore into hers and she feels butterflies all over her stomach.
"Don´t cry my love" he tells her softly, while he carefully puts a strand of her hair behind her ear "I am here, I broke my promise, just like you asked me to."
There they are again, those dimples she missed so much. Much more, she realizes now, than she ever recognized. Now that he is there, she´s not exactly sure what should happen next. But he doesn´t let her think about it too long, because the next thing she knows his lips are on hers and give her the most heartfelt kiss she has ever experienced. It is just a simple kiss but it feels like, sunshine and rainbows and like fireworks everywhere. She can almost taste his love for her on his lips and she finally get´s it. This is why she can´t forget him. Because unlikely as it seems, he has wormed his way into her heart and is now a part of her. She loves him she realizes. She can´t pinpoint the moment it happened but it´s there and it´s real. Elena told her once, that when she first realized her love for Damon and everyone put it down just to the sire bond, she had told Damon that never before had anything felt so real to her. She didn´t understand it then, but she does now.
Standing here and kissing Klaus in the rain, finally allowing herself to feel what it is she feels. NOTHING had ever felt so good und true and honest before.
They don´t talk about what this means, they don´t talk about the future or what they plan to do next. For the next few days they live just in the moment. They enjoy their time together, being near each other, being able to touch each other and so much more. She thinks that this is everything she needed because she finally feels whole again and happy.
But even though they could have eternity together it never is that easy.
"There´s something I have to tell you, love." He says one morning. "What is it Nik?" she has long since adopted the name only his siblings use for him. The tone in his voice frightens her of what´s to come and she is not sure she even wants to know. She doesn´t want their bubble to be burst so soon.
"I am afraid, my love, that everything we shared this last days together might be for naught after I tell you this, but I love you my darling so I have to be honest with you." Now she is really scared of what´s to come, she wants to reassure him but he was always so sure that they belong together. So if he is afraid that this might shatter that, he might be right.
"I can´t stay here much longer pet. Long before your confession, when I still resided in Mystic Falls I spend a night with Hayley, Tylers werewolf friend. It meant nothing to me, it was just a way to keep my mind of all the problems I had at the time. But it resulted in her getting pregnant. I have a child my love. And I have to get back to my family in New Orleans. Rebekah is watching Hope right now. But you have to know; that the only woman I love, the only one who means anything to me, ever meant anything in my thousand years is you love. I still want to spend forever with you and if you have it in you to forgive me for not telling you sooner, I´d like to make you my Queen in New Orleans."
And just like that her world is shattered. She can´t believe this. Breathing, even though unnecessary, seems hard right now. She can´t think. All she knows is that the one man she thought would always put her first, slept with the girl she loathes. And there is just one thing she can think of saying right now. "I take it back. Don´t break your promise anymore. Leave and never come back." It hurts to say that, and she regrets the words almost as soon as they leave her mouth. But she won´t take it back. He looks shattered but does as she asked and leaves right away.
And so it starts again, the wondering, the questioning and the remembering. Sleepless nights and heavy dreams. A heartache so strong she can´t even get up on some days. Her friends wonder what happened to her. They don´t know a thing about her and Klaus. She never told them about the woods or about her days with him after he came back. They wouldn´t understand.
One afternoon Elena has finally had enough and corners her. She does not want to speak about it, but she starts thinking maybe it will help to get it out. And really, if anyone understands it should be Elena. Elenas relationship with Damon is kind of similar to hers with the Original Hybrid. So she gives in. "It´s Klaus." Elenas questioning face tells her, that she has to elaborate on this. "I´m in love with him, we were together for a couple of days. Until he told me that he has a child with Hayley."
Seeing Elena speechless was something she expected. But what she told her next was not something she could have foreseen. "You know Care, I have never seen you as broken as now. Not after Matt, not even after Tyler. So I´m thinking if I had seen the two of you together I might have seen you happier than you ever were with either of them, am I right?" "Yeah." She responds cautiously, not sure what might come next. "I know Klaus is a monster. I pretty much hate him, you know that. But you hated Damon and he was a monster to you and still you did not scold me when I fell in love with him. You wanted me to be happy and even though you were Team Stefan all the way, you supported me because Damon makes me happy. We can´t choose who we fall in love with. I don´t know much about Klaus or anything about his child. But he did not exactly betray you, so if you think you can live with that situation and if he is what makes you happy, then I´ll support you. Because you deserve to be happy Care, just as much as I do."
She wasn´t really sure how to respond, but she felt lighter somehow. She finally told someone about her feelings and her best friend doesn´t hate her. And she did have a point. Elena leaves her to think, without her ever responding.
A child might not be ideal, but it´s creation had nothing to do with her. She can never have a child. She was still young, so she hadn´t thought about it, but maybe this was her one and only chance to be anything like a mother. Maybe she could actually do this, if it meant being happy with the love of her life.
Falling asleep is not an easy feat that night. When she finally drifts into a dream, it isn´t about kissing him, or the amazing sex they had. It is about being a family with him. Okay she knows it is not a conventional family, with him being the big bad in New Orleans and all, she does not think he would be able to ever give that up completely, but it is perfect none the less. Because in her dreams there are smiles und laughter, kisses and cuddling and the feeling of belonging.
So when she gets up in the morning she has already made the decision to be happy again. She packs her bags and sends a quick text to Elena, telling her she is leaving and she doesn´t know how long she´ll be gone. The answer puts a smile on her face "Go get him tiger. Be happy."
She has no idea where exactly he is located. She didn´t think about that while hurrying to get to New Orleans. It couldn´t be too hard to find the ruler of a city, could it? So she wanders through the city, hoping to get an idea of where to find him.
"Miss Forbes, I didn´t expect to see you in New Orleans." Well running into his brother has never been more welcome. "Elijah, I am actually really glad to see you. Do you think you can take me to see Klaus?"
Five minutes later and her nerves are almost getting the best of her. Just one knock and she can finally be with him again. At least she hopes so. She finally gets herself together and does it. The door opens and there he is. His eyes full of wonder at the sight of her. She doesn´t even say anything, just attacks his lips like there is no tomorrow. They feel so in sync with each other that she can´t believe she send him away in the first place. He pulls away and looks at her. "I am ready, make me your Queen" is all she has to say before she gets swept up her feet for a round of that amazing hybrid sex and hopefully her happy ending.
