'Would I look fat in this?'
Most of the thoughts that probe my mind, unwelcome and most of all uninvited, when I forget to turn it off are trivial things like that but every once in a while I hit the jackpot, the hot girl I'm smiling at is thinking of me and me alone but most of all the ones that lead me saving the day.
But I could do without all of the visuals, the ones that make my brain go into overload (and cause that look that my loved love to point out) and it hurts so goddamn much like my heads exploding each and every time.
"Toby you okay? Sorry buddy it might take a while for me to get used to this all, just stop looking like your having a freaking seizure."
"Well, I would if I could."
I's a small comfort to have yet another person in on the whole secret (but I'd rather not be nicknamed 'Matt Packman' by said person) that has not left my lips in such a long time, but being nothing like the my best friend I didn't say 'I'm a super-hero!' just that I could read minds but to him it came out like I had a cool name and bright red tights.
"Your superman! How awesome is that?"
"I'm not superman, your the comic geek shouldn't you know that he can't read minds?"
-
The whole mind reading (the one power that no kid picks, it's always invisibly, strength, and flying) isn't all it's cracked up to be, meaning it doesn't come without downsides and sadly for me there are quite a few of those.
I get to be the super-hero, even if I wouldn't ever call myself that, not ever (because I don't enjoy the capes or tights), but I also get mind numbing migraines, have to be the good guy but lie my ass off, get called so said 'liar' or 'weird' a whole lot mainly by Charlie and Oz.
And before I could control it this gift was single handily ruining my childhood and life.
It came likes waves of pain, millions upon millions of people inside my head all at once I could barely find my own thoughts within the mix, and the largest downside of all it hearing the things you'd be better off not knowing at all.
('Today I'm going to kill myself, once and for all' 'What a total weirdo' 'I don't feel anything at all' and ' I don't love him anymore' the last one is one I got a whole lot of)
But to me it isn't about the upsides and downsides of this strange gift that a nobody like me got to have, it's all about the little things, knowing when someone who doesn't have a voice is crying out in pain and saving them that's the best part of it all, being the super-hero one life at a time.
"Oz, I can't be called a super-hero, well not yet anyway. I still got a lot more people to save before I become that."
"Whatever, just be a super-hero for me and get that chicks number for me."
