A Twoshot on the life of Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern (also known as Sebastian Velac in the Mortal Instruments books).
All of his life, his father had told him that he was going to be something special.
All of his life, his mother had hated him. No, despised him, loathed him. She wished he were dead.
All of his life, he had waited to be that something special that his father had tried to make him to be.
All of his life, he had been caught in a struggle against himself, his very own nature.
Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern was a confused child. The kind that the people who didn't know him thought he was a monster. The kind that if people actually got to know him, they would pity him for what he was.
From before his birth, he had been fighting himself. He was essentially Nephilim, but something terrible had swept through his developing veins. He had found out later that it was demon's blood that his father had given his mother to drink. It had burned him, made him kick his mother with weak legs, and scream and cry with underdeveloped lungs.
The poison coursing through him had changed him, though. He grew faster, stronger than before. He hoped that it would keep him safe, but he was wrong. The next dose of the demon's blood was larger and more potent than the first, and each dose after was larger, more agonizing than the one before.
He gave his mother nightmares, he knew that. Waking nightmares of her own world as she lay awake each night, unable to sleep with him writhing in agony inside her. Jonathan tried to hold still, he tried to let her sleep, but the venom shook him and made him lose control.
He didn't know what his father was going for with this… this experiment of his. He was pretty sure it wasn't working out the way it had been planned. Jonathan was dying.
He was dying to himself, to the Nephilim he was supposed to be, and to the child he was supposed to be. Instead, the demon blood was taking over his body, filling his emptying shell. Yet he was still somehow here. His inherited Angel's blood was fighting the transformation into a full demon child.
For that, he was both grateful and he was not.
It kept him from being completely evil, kept him somewhat human. It also made him despise himself. The demon part of him hated the angel part of him. The angel part of him hated the demon part of him. And the human part still left in him hated the both of them, understanding that with both demon and angel in him, he could never be happy, could never truly know love or gratitude or anything else that everyone takes for granted. Jonathan would never take them for granted. He would never have them to take for granted in the first place.
When the time finally came for him to be born, he was excited to be free from the confines of his prison. The first things he saw when he entered the bright new world were his parents' faces.
His father was smiling widely at him, only it was a cruel, cold smile. That smile made him squirm, realizing that his father cared only that the experiment had worked, and he cared nothing for his son.
What hurt Jonathan more than anything, though, was his mother's face. As her eyes met his searching black eyes, her warm face stiffened and froze in an undisguised mask of horror.
More than ever, he wished he had died completely when he was supposed to.
AN: That's the end of part one of the twoshot. The next part is the reflection of the rest of his life up to his death, which is how it ends. It will be much longer than this part, for obvious reasons, because this is one short little part including barely anything from his actual life. Still, I felt it was important. So… review please and let me know what you think of my story on the life (so far) of the actual Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern. Thanks!
-Fiori Omega ^_^
