Author's Note: I don't really know what's come over me, honestly. The idea just, popped into my head. Well, maybe not. Okay, so I was looking through Final Fantasy stuff, as I often do, and I came across something that was remotely Noctella related (Along with Cloti, which is another of my favorites!). As I watched the video, I began to feel something inside me. Something I don't feel while looking at Lightis stuff. So I decided to put those feelings down into a fanfiction of the Noctella nature. And this came out. I have a feeling that I like writign about Noctella more than Lightis, simply because it's easier to write angst for them, and that's my style. I also seem to think that when FFXIII-2 comes out, everyone'll start pairing Lightning with that new guy, which is perfectly fine. While I still do like Lightis, Noctella is probably my video game OTP right now, along with Cloti. And I'll admit it, on a different note, I was inspired by a lot of stuff for this story. The fighting scene in particular. There are a lot of references and connections to other things, mainly anime, since I can't fully get away from it. But I wroked on this for a while. More like three or four days. I even worked on it at school! That was probably the most fun I've ever had, working on a fanfiction at school. And as for Noctis, I wasn't sure how he'd reply at the end. Sorry to disappoint, as well as make a reference. Crap.
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy Versus XIII, or any of the characters or references I made. Obviously. Basically, I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! I OWN NOTHING IN THIS STORY! NOTHING AT ALL!
I've always believed in those childish fairy tales. The ones about princes and princesses. They were just bedtime stories to me. They helped me get to sleep when I was younger. They helped brighten the dark night sky while I waited for the celestial chariots to pull light across the empty canvas. They paved the way for the Light to rain down on me, to bless me with its power.
I'd never understood why I had been chosen. I didn't understand why the Light had chosen me to bestow such power. Control was impossible. I was the lonely princess of the country Tenebrae. Power was inevitable, and easy to come by. As well as easy to abuse. I wasn't the type to do so, but the temptation had always haunted me from the back of my mind. As the stars rained from the sky like crystal snow above my head, the wind ruffling my long golden hair gently, a hole in my heart burned. And so I cried.
I hugged my arms around myself, as the tears flowed from my eyes, spilling into the wind as I sat against the rock at the top of a hill overlooking a meadow filled with wildflowers. It was my place to come and cry whenever something was troubling me. When I'd heard the news that I'd have to face someone important to me in battle, I'd fled to my sanctuary almost on reflex.
All my life, I'd never felt more secure. I felt so safe it was almost cruel. Being a princess, I'd been sheltered from danger, kept far away from the battlefield at all costs. But when I'd become a teenager, everything had changed. I was taught how to wield my weapon, and how to use the magic that always seemed to cause me more pain than happiness. Sure, if it hadn't been for my magic then I never would've survived a near-death experience. But, I felt cursed.
Especially now, after I'd found someone just like me. He had magic. He was of royalty. His intentions were pure. I'd held him close to my heart ever since I'd met him at that art function before, and now I had to kill him. I didn't know if I could bring myself to draw my blade against him. Steel blue eyes that glowed like the swirling night sky above me. They could bring me to my knees in a heartbeat if he had the chance to turn them on me. In battle, that was unavoidable. And so I cried harder.
I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't wrap my head around the concept of being forced to kill him. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to be the reason those beautiful blue eyes closed forever. I didn't want to be the one that stopped his heart from beating. My tears burned the sides of my face as they fell, the wind blowing them away. The stars rained down on me, begging for me to lift my head, to watch them dance across the empty night sky. But I wouldn't do it. He was in danger so long as I was alive.
I buried my head in my hands and sobbed, my crying echoing across the shattered night sky, as the stars pleaded for me to cheer up, to stop crying. But the rain wouldn't stop. It just kept coming, pouring from my eyes like a tidal wave. There was no reason for me to lift my head. I didn't want to think about leaving from where I was. Because the instant I'd move, I would break down into tears once more. I didn't want to hurt him.
The sound of the wind blowing around me barely served as a source of comfort and solace, but my sobs and tears slowly faded away, as my hands dropped from holding my head. I'd cried it all out. I had to face what was in front of me now. I'd been given the orders to kill him, and that's what I had to do. It didn't matter how much I didn't want to. My father wouldn't accept that. I couldn't show weakness in front of my father, the King of Tenebrae. I would kill him. I had no choice.
I stood up shakily, and looked to the sky, my celeste eyes searching for the Light, as my heart pleaded for console. How could I go about killing someone who meant so much to me? Was I destined to fall in his place? Should I just give up even thinking about trying it? The wind ruffled my long golden hair, as I waited for the sky to give me my answer. The stars danced across my pale irises. I heard my heart beat once. I still had no choice.
My entire body wouldn't stop shaking. My right hand was clenched into a tight fist, my nails digging into my palms. I gritted my teeth as hard as I could, biting my bottom lip in the process. My eyes narrowed angrily, their purple color twisted with darkness and rage. I'd have to kill him. But I couldn't bring myself to accept that I'd have to do it. I wouldn't accept it. I simply didn't want to kill him.
I sucked in a breath, and shut my eyes tightly. I would go. I would face him. My right fist shook as my arm trembled. But I wouldn't kill him. Even if I'd cut him down enough to have him grovel at my knees begging for mercy, I still wouldn't kill him. One tear fell from my left eye. I still wouldn't hurt him. I couldn't hurt him. My back tingled as the wind blew across it, magic coursing through my veins. I would fight. But not kill.
I turned toward the castle in the distance, and smiled up at the shooting star that streaked across the sky above the highest tower. I would be alright. The Light rained down on me, as I watched the flowers line up on either side of the meadow, gold against blue. They stood, wary of the other side, yet longing to mingle and merge. They were enemies, but friends in that one simple act of moving forward. They bent and swayed in the wind, golden petals mixing with dark blue ones.
I nodded to the flowers, and started running down the path back to the castle. My footsteps were light against the dirt under the soles of my boots, the soft crunching noise soothing to me as the stars sparkled over my head. I knew I was running toward the fate that was laid out for him and I. I knew that fighting against my heart wouldn't get me anywhere. So I wouldn't. I'd just go with it. I would act upon my emotions. I would listen, not fight. That was the only way he was going to be able to stay alive.
My footsteps lightened as I continued running under the speckled night sky, a bright smile on my face. He wouldn't die. I wouldn't kill him. I wouldn't hurt him. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I'd never. How could I even think about hurting someone so precious to me? My heart stopped in my chest as my feet jerked to a stop. Father's orders. That's why I would think about killing him. The tears threatened to fall again. There was no way out of this. I was just going to keep going around, and around in circle after circle. I lifted my feet up off the ground and ran forward again, the moonlight and serenity of the stars falling to the Earth, silent as snow.
The tears that fell from my face were bitter tears. They were accepting tears. I knew I'd have to fight him. I'd already realized this. But what I couldn't figure out was a way out of it. No matter where I turned or how fast I ran, I wouldn't be able to get out of it. He was going to die at this rate. My right hand tightened once more at this. My heart pounded in my chest, as I blinked one more mass of tears away into the moonlit wind.
…I'm sorry…
My eyes downcast, I waited. I waited patiently. There was no rush, after all. I could feel the pain coming even before it started. My heart was breaking in my chest. I still didn't want to hurt him. I couldn't hurt him. I didn't know how I would face him. My face held obvious sadness, staggering pain. I was broken. That was obvious. He'd be able to tell. He wasn't stupid.
The wind ruffled my golden hair as I stood silent, alone with my thoughts. The street was quiet, lying in wait. It was anxious for the coming battle, the clash of two strong, magical powers coming together. The starry sky and the Light rained down on my back, as I waited, holding my magic carefully in check. It was anxious too. It wanted to move as well.
I could barely hear the tapping of something moving as a shape came closer, running toward me. The thing seemed to be in a hurry. I shut my eyes and blinked one more tear away. It was him. My enemy. My friend. My…I widened my eyes and turned toward the sound; as he slid into the open, steel blue eyes locking with celeste purple ones.
We didn't speak. We didn't breathe. We just stared at each other as he took a few steps forward, my golden hair falling over my left shoulder as I turned my entire body toward him, my heart leaping out of my chest. It begged me to go to him. It begged me to move. It pleaded for him to take a few more steps, for him to hold it gently in between his palms as gently as he could. Butterflies surged through my stomach, my purple eyes hesitant.
I ran a few steps, toward the top of the flight of stairs, ignoring the pain in my chest as I made to run to him. The instant the blue light started to blow from his back, the second my eyes caught sight of the swirling blue rune that faintly hung in the air behind him, my heart stopped. He truly was my enemy. I fought back tears as I stopped on the top step. My heart pleaded with me to stop. But I knew the answer to that. And it wasn't what I wanted to hear.
Golden-orange wind gathered around my right arm that I held across myself, my eyes narrowing as the rune sparkled and flashed behind me, seeming to roar in anticipation. My magic was pleased, happy to be released. But the purpose was so…Horrible. A hilt brushed against my palm, my fingers curling around it as I gripped my rapier tightly, shimmering orange light streaking down the length of the blade as the sword came into existence.
He pulled his weapon backwards, holding it alongside himself as his gaze turned hesitant as pieces of crystal glass danced across his eyes. He didn't want to fight either. That was obvious. I could see it plain as day in his ethereal blue irises. It echoed my own desire to not fight either. I didn't wish to face him in battle. He didn't want to fight me. I turned away; I couldn't bear to look at him anymore.
It wasn't necessarily in the way he carried himself. He held his stance confidently, his sword balanced in one hand as he waited. He was waiting for me to make the first move. But I couldn't do it. Even now, as I held my rapier tightly in my hand, poised for battle, there was something in his eyes that made me hesitate; made me suck in a breath of desperation. The color in his eyes flickered. He had drawn, got up, and was ready to fight. There was no doubt about it. He carried nobility within himself.
My entire body began shaking, just like it had in the meadow. I still didn't know how I was going to face him. The look in his eyes…It was almost expectant, hesitant, sheepish. It took me two seconds to figure out that my lips had parted, as if I were about to speak. But no words came out. Only broken thoughts. Only words with emptiness filling their hollow and dead bodies. My purple eyes closed, one lone tear sliding down the left side of my face.
"Noctis…" I murmured, as he blinked, listening. The golden rune behind me trembled. "…I'm sorry…"
His gaze turned somber. My pain was known to him now. He now knew how much I wished we didn't have to fight, how much he meant to me. I could feel my pain seeping through his skin and into his veins, running through the vessels as his blood carried it all the way to his heart. The slight flinch of his body. The flash of discomfort that twisted his expression for a split second. In those solitary actions, I could tell he felt the same.
"…It's alright…" His voice was low, soft even, as it drifted toward me. His blue rune cried. My golden one screamed. "…I'm sorry too…"
"It isn't either of our faults, Noctis." I replied, my voice surprisingly strong despite the tears that flowed down my face. "We're forced to fight because of who we are and what we stand for. I'm not fighting you because I want to."
"Stella…" He lifted his eyes to mine, as I shifted, gripping my rapier tighter. I couldn't find the words to express my feelings, my deeper feelings. The ones I wished would just stand up and walk away.
"I don't…" I started, my voice beginning to shake. "I don't…Want to fight you!"
I jumped forward, Noctis's eyes widening as he swung his sword up to block my rapier as it came down. My feet fell toward the street underneath me, the balls of them touching the ground first, as I shifted my weight to push against his blade. When our eyes met this time, he knew I was broken. I didn't have a purpose. I was just fighting because that was the only thing I could do. I couldn't run into his arms and cry like I wanted to. I had to fight. I had to believe that I could win. But most of all, I had to kill him.
"I don't want to kill you!" I screamed, tears falling from my eyes as I slammed my rapier against his lifted sword over and over, striking from each side. "I don't want to hurt you!"
Our swords clashed, over and over, as he slid his across the air to block my attacks, my weak and flailing attacks. Despite my being emotionally unstable, I was able to focus enough to be able to aim at the correct places where my rapier would be of best use, where I would be most successful. Our blades broke apart, and I staggered backwards, lifting it up in front of me to point the tip of the sword level at his heart.
"Why should I have to fight someone that means so much to me?" I asked as I sobbed, tears running down the sides of my face. I couldn't care less about crying in public. "Why should I have to kill someone who's just like me? Knows my pain, feels my agony, carries my blood?"
"…That's just the way it is. We're enemies." He replied coolly, blinking once. I bit back a sob.
"But I don't want to be your enemy!" I cried, shaking my head, the stars in the sky raining down upon the Earth as I cried openly now. "I want to be there for you! I want to be your friend; I want to be someone you can come to! I don't want to be the one who has your blood on my hands!"
He was silent after that. He just listened to the sound of my tears falling to the street, the choking of my sobs echoing through the still and empty air. He went absolutely silent. Even as I was breaking down in front of him, Noctis didn't move. He held his sword at his side, a shadow shielding his eyes from my sight, rendering me unable to see his expression. I bit my bottom lip, and jumped again, pulling my sword backwards.
"Why won't you answer me? Why won't you say anything? Don't you care about me? Don't you want to be friends?" I cried, slicing at him again and again, alternating from each side where I'd strike from. I lifted my rapier up over my head, and hopped forward. "Don't I mean anything to you?"
At this, his eyes widened, but it was too late. I swung my rapier down, as he flashed away from the tip of the blade, avoiding a near fatal blow. Dirt and dust rose up from the ground as my strike hit the pavement, my golden hair falling over my shoulders as I staggered forward. He's fast! Wind whistled through the air behind me, and I swung around, carrying my sword deftly in one hand, the blades colliding in mid air.
"You've taught me so much, Noctis." I continued, calmer now as the wind settled to a dull breeze. My eyes narrowed, as we gazed upon each other, so close, closer than we've ever been. "More than you could ever know."
"Oh really?" A slight flicker of a smirk teased his lips. I nodded once, my purple irises solemn.
"Yes." I answered, dropping my head for a second. I pulled my sword away from his, and jumped backwards, sliding back across the street to gain distance. "So I won't go easy on you."
"I never wanted you to go easy on me." He replied, as see through images of swords hovered in the air in front of him as I slid across the ground, my free hand along the street as I lifted my head, gritting my teeth. Is that his magic?
I didn't know what was happening to me. All of a sudden, I wanted to fight. It boiled in my veins, running through to the bone, begging me to keep going. Don't stop. I narrowed my eyes, and gripped my sword hilt even tighter. I still had so much I wanted to say, so much I wanted to do. But, I couldn't find the words to say them, those unthinkable thoughts that flashed in front of my eyes every single time I crossed paths with him. My sword's voice would reach him. It had to.
We didn't talk, as weapons flew forward, the crystal clear shapes hanging in the air in front of me solidifying into metal structures before flying toward me, intent to kill. I spun around, showing my back to him before flipping backwards to dodge the onslaught of weapons, holding my sword at my side carefully as I jumped out of the way of another, landing in a crouch. I faced him evenly, his blue eyes cold. I couldn't help wonder if he was trying to reach me as well. I narrowed my celeste eyes as another sword flew toward me.
I rose to my feet, lifting the edge of my blade to block the incoming weapons as best I could, the smaller projectiles falling to the ground around me. The larger ones collided with my blade, which I promptly shoved off my rapier to allow myself the ability to guard against the ones that followed after. My eyes widened as he flashed away from his place at the top of the stairs, after flinging another weapon at me, my purple eyes scanning the area, desperate to find him.
I'd just blocked the last weapon he'd sent my way before another slammed into the side of my rapier, sending me flying from the impact. I somersaulted, my back hitting the ground as I rolled forward, coming back up in time to turn to the right, as he flashed back to the top of the stairs to send another projectile in my direction. I jumped up into the air to avoid it, realizing my mistake too late. Being up in the air meant vulnerability. His lip curled up. A small, fast weapon shot toward me, clashing with my barely risen shield, bouncing off as I swung my rapier like a baseball bat, sending the projectile flying back at him.
He promptly blocked it with one of the translucent shapes, as I fell through the air toward him, holding my rapier above my head. But he didn't move. He didn't even take a step. He just flashed out of the way as my rapier came crashing down onto the top stair, breaking it in half with the force of my blow. My legs bent at the knees as I landed on the ground, my purple eyes still. How can he do that? A flickering of the wind behind me touched my aura, alerting me to his presence. I widened my eyes and slid forward, my legs flying across the three stairs as I scouted to the bottom, swinging around to fling another projectile back at him.
He deflected that one as well, the crystal shape vanishing upon the instant it got hit, another one appearing to take its place without a second's hesitation. As I gritted my teeth, more flew toward me, and I found myself sliding my sword across the air in front of me, sending the projectiles that hit my sword falling to the ground at my feet. A few arced wide and missed, the screeching of the magic behind them deafening to ears of humans not touched by the Light. I lifted my rapier up, holding it level in both of my hands.
He wasn't hesitating. He'd come at me, no regret or remorse in his eyes. He came to fight me, and to win. That much was obvious. He wanted to get me out of the way so he could accomplish whatever it was that he needed to accomplish. He didn't want to hurt me, and that fact showed in his choice of artillery. Small, but fast, easy to deflect projectiles. So much for hesitation.
It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, fighting him. He was going easy on me, I could tell. Not only was his choice in weapons weak, but he wasn't really fighting me. He was playing a game. I narrowed my eyes as I watched him carefully, analyzing every single movement his eyes made. The irises had shifted into a bloody crimson color as I'd been busy dodging his attacks, and the sight of them frightened me. He wasn't holding back, yet he was still hesitating. What is his game? There's no way this is the full extent of his powers.
More weapons flew at me as I charged forward, larger this time, harder to deflect. They gave me no trouble, as I sliced my rapier downward, sending them crashing to the street, their metals bodies clanging against the stiff and wary cement beneath them. He narrowed his eyes as I continued onwards, running toward him now, my eyes narrowed as my blonde bangs blew into them.
"You're not afraid, are you?" I asked, as the crystal clear shapes swirled into the air around me, spinning in a circle above my head, to my right, to my left, below my feet, behind me. At point blank range? Is he mad? Weapons shot out of the shapes, but I merely swirled my sword around me as I slid to a stop, deflecting the weapons neatly. "Because this is only the beginning!"
He flinched, flashing toward me. He wanted to end it now. He didn't want to fight me any longer than he had to. This fight was taking too long, in his opinion. In mine as well. It was slowly becoming more and more painful to fight him as the seconds passed. The fight was slowly reaching its climax, and my hands had slowly begun to shake. I knew he was about to release a tremendous amount of power, as his rune hung in the air behind him while he pulled his sword back out of thin air, running toward me. I took off, preparing to meet him.
"You've taught me more than this, Noctis!" I exclaimed as our swords clashed. Right. Above. Left. Right. Left. Above. Our swords clanged together. Over and over.
"The meaning of strength!" I continued, slamming my sword into his, as he lifted his to block mine. Over and over our swords clashed, as I shoved my feelings into my screaming blade. "How to use it! Even the reason the Goddess Etro spared our lives!"
My last slice cut right through his shield that he had risen; Noctis jumped backward to avoid the downwind blow as I staggered forward. I jerked myself upright, my purple eyes wild. He didn't do anything. He just stood there, with his crimson eyes glowing brightly. I panted once, then lifted my sword up, holding it out in front of me carefully. It didn't make any sense. He could do so much more to me, and yet, he chose to hold back. What was he playing at?
"The Goddess Etro shall open the gate welcoming the souls of the dead. When that happens, a bright light shall shine down through the skies over the dead. And those few who see that light shall be bestowed with strength from the land of the dead." I recited, narrowing my eyes. "You said that being different can get you into trouble. I understand that now. I don't see the reason why we should fight, do you? We're the same. We share the same pain, cry the same tears, and bear the same burdens. So why are we trying to kill each other? Tell me, who are we truly fighting right now, Noctis?"
At this, his eyes narrowed. I'd made a dent. I'd broken through his exterior, my words and voice getting through to him. But they were empty. My arm holding my sword began shaking, as my teeth came down on my bottom lip. Hard. I was breaking down again, faster now, as the feelings I had struggled to hold back boiled to the surface. Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes, as I tensed my entire body, flexing to fight.
"I…I love you so much…" I murmured, tears cascading down both sides of my face. His eyes widened, but Noctis stayed silent. "I love you so much it hurts…I don't ever want to see you sad, or broken, or dead. You're at your best when you're smiling. I don't…I don't want to be the reason your eyes won't ever open again, or that your heart won't ever beat! I want to be there for you! I want to be at your side and comfort you when you're hurt…Like a lover should."
His crimson irises quivered. Then throbbed. Surprise was etched into each pore of his face. Every shadow was washed away, my golden rune glowing in the air behind me faintly. The tears still fell, the stars struggling to catch them. I dropped my head, and just openly cried. There wasn't any point in hiding it anymore. I was breaking, for the second time. I clenched my free hand as I cried, lifting my head to meet his stunned eyes.
"I don't want to fight anymore!" I cried, tears flying from my face. "Noctis, I don't want-"
"Stop." Sweetness. Unbearably close. "Just stop."
My heart pounded. The grip on my right hand, the hand holding my sword was light, but tight enough to stop me. My cheeks flushed, my entire face blushing a bright scarlet. The wind rippled my blonde hair around my face, the glow from the stars shining down on me. My knees were weak, my trembling ceasing as my eyes began throbbing, shaking in their sockets. He was so close to me. My quivering breath escaped through my parted lips. And then he spoke.
"Don't cry. Don't cry anymore." My eyes widened, as tears rolled down my cheeks from them. "I don't ever want to see you cry again."
"E-E-E-E-Eh?" My voice was broken, as his presence overwhelmed me. The gentleness of his voice. The lightness on my hand, the same hand holding the weapon I'd swung his way in an effort to kill him was spellbinding.
"Stella…" My heart fluttered in anticipation, his touch on my wrist sending electricity coursing through my veins as the wind carried his whisper toward my waiting ears. "…Thank you…"
"N-Noctis?" I slowly turned my head to face him, my purple eyes widening at the bright fire in his crimson eyes, my breath catching. Without warning, a shadow fell over his eyes, as pain spiked from the back of my head, my eyes slowly fluttering closed. "…Noctis…"
"Thank you for everything."
