Living is Enough of an Excuse - -

Author note: Uhm, yes, I guess for those who know me originally at "ImDaMnShOrTaNdPrOuD" that I'm technically breaking my promise not to start any new stories… :\ Well…yeah - kind of awkward *looks around* but anyway. It's a different account, the rules don't exactly apply ;) Hehe. But yes, this is a new story, only because I've been getting INSPIRED! :D Mostly by the book I'm currently reading. "The Host", by Stephenie Meyer. But I like it much more than Twilight. It's really adorable and cute :} Aliens are the new awesome :}

But anyway, just want to thank my reviewers from all my other stories and the two that I had deleted. You guys were nice and supportive, but I think I'll post those stories up again some time after editing them and what not. For now, I'll just…start fresh. Considering I did change my username. Recently known as "CranberryGumDrops" and I am now "Quit-Pokin'-my-Buttons", just because I always giggle just saying that aloud. Go ahead - try it :}

Thanks again everyone, all very sweet you guys are xD

Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me, as you all already know - which get's me thinking, is there really a point in a disclaimer? Pfft, I'm gonna put it up anyway xP On other notes, Twilight doesn't belong to me, but it belongs to S. Meyer. Stephenie Meyer - but I only write S. Meyer because I honestly don't know if you spell it "Stephenie" or "Stephanie". *shrugs* So S. Meyer it is!

~Charlotte


Show me what it's like to dream in black and white
So I can leave this world tonight
Holding onto tight, breathe the breath of life
So I can leave this world behind
It's only hurt just once
They're only broken bones
Hide the hate inside
So I can leave this world behind.

-Unknown Soldier, Breaking Benjamin

Niabi's point of view:

I glared ahead, my eyes trained on every little detail. The lush, green forest, the endless amount of trees, the countless pot holes that littered their way across the road in front of us. I kept my eyes on everything and anything but my mom. On any other occasion, I wouldn't be able to hold a single grudge against my mom. Despite her ways of being rather…stubborn - being the polite word - I could never really be mad at her. Let alone hate or dislike. She was…my mom. It was impossible to even ignore her. She was the main center of life.

With me not being a very good, uhm, friend maker - I guess she was really the only person I had. Leaving our family behind La Push and everything it was just mom and I. I kind of liked it. It wasn't like I got spoiled or anything - mom prevented that from happening. Made a big deal out of it too.

Apparently she's had some memories shared with a specific spoiled girl that she calls 'Nessie'.

Someone whom I do not know, or really want to. By the way mom describes her she might as well be the offspring of Satan himself. Not that mom speaks kindly of many people…it just seems that she has an even bigger dislike for that specific person. Like in La Push, mom disliked Sam and Emily Uley - mostly because they were the two people that robbed her of any bright future. A future without…well, just a future I suppose. Mom seems to freeze up in that point of ranting. Instead she just stares at me with this guilty expression and changes the subject.

It confused me to no end, but I didn't push. And being the daughter of Leah Clearwater, you learn not to push. It was a big "no-no", as Uncle Seth had once said over the phone.

Then there was Embry Call…the man that supposedly 'imprinted' on mom. Not that she spoke very kindly of that word…at all. In fact, she seemed to hate it more than Isabella, or Embry, or Sam, or Emily, or…people she simply hated. She just loathed it. Not that I blame her. After hearing the legends and my moms own experiences…you learn to hate it just as much as the women who gave birth to you. Overall, I wasn't a big fan of it myself.

But anyway, this was off topic. What I'm trying to say is that I'm currently holding a grudge against my own mother, my own best friend, and the only other person that I could remotely relate to in life because she had given in and is now heading towards La Push.

To see my father get married.

Yeah. No kidding. Took me through a whole loop too. In fact, I couldn't even wrap my head around it. If this imprinting was so certain, so rare, and so…valuable. Why had my own dad moved on? Why did he…why would he even consider looking at another women? As far as I've heard imprinting was like chaining someone to an indestructible circle of iron, iron that was forever pinned down to the earths core…while under water…with no air.

In other words, it was pretty permanent.

"We have to face our past sometime." My mom said quietly, her own eyes not leaving the road ahead of us. I just glanced over at her, not once toning down my glare.

Through my whole life I had thought my mom was the toughest, most stable person to ever live. And when you add on that whole 'turn into a wolf' bit, she just seemed a lot more awesome in my eyes. She was like superwomen, just without the flying and publicity. She was - as corny as this may sound - my hero.

"It's not my past. Why should we go back when we have a whole future to look for? Why give in to the people that caused you pain? Why not let them know that you've moved on, that no matter what they do, for example: get married, won't draw you back?" Mom sighed, her fingers twiddling with the radio station knob.

"Why back down? Let's show them that we stayed strong. That you've grown beautiful…that…I was able to have a child…and-"

"That you can have a child? Don't they already know that?" I asked, completely panicked as my mom looked over at me. Her face hard and emotionless.

"Only Sue and Seth." She said quietly, giving me a look that said "there's no point in arguing, what's done is done". I sighed, slumping in my seat.

"So that's why your going? To show them you can multiply?" The corners of her mouth quirked up slightly before she gave me a quick side glance.

"No." She said sternly, the smile dropping. "We're here to watch your father get married. To move on from imprinting." Oh. Guilt immediately washed over me. Here I was, complaining about going back and how dad had moved on…when, really, mom had wanted to watch him move on. She really doesn't care…

"You don't love him?" I asked hesitantly, an unknown feeling crashing in my chest. Why had it all of sudden gotten so hard to breath?

"I love him." She said surely, turning the wheel and shutting off the car. I watched my mothers face for awhile, only to quickly jerk my head around. My eyes widening at the sight of a brown bricked house in front of us, several cars already parked in the driveway. My throat constricted as my hands tightened into fists.

We're here.


Author note: I know it's short...but I wasn't really sure about this whole thing...what do you think?

Should I write another chapter?

~Charlotte