I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away
She walked around the Muggle train-station, proudly bearing her mangled, sliced up, bleeding limbs. She knows she'll never see these strangers again, but she manages to keep a cold, straight face as they turn to stare, to look at the twisted freak that would mutilate her body like this. But they can't even see the half of it, hidden under her long jeans, her flowing brown hair, and underneath the layers of makeup she puts on every morning, just to hide herself from the bare-nosed accusations that she knew would come to be if she didn't hide it this well. She slowly pulls her sleeves down as she reaches the barrier between her and the wizarding world.
'It could be over now,' she thinks to herself. 'I don't have to go back, and I don't have to stay here... I'm sure there's a train coming soon. I could just end this pain right now...' But those thoughts eventually disperse, as she sees her fellow classmates waving at her. She waves back, out of politeness, and because she knows, and she laughs as she thinks about it, but she knows that everyone sees her as a happy go-lucky person, and if she didn't wave, someone would get the idea that something was wrong, and it would get out, and all her friends would know, and her parents would know, and HE would know.
That's the last thing she wants, him to think she's psycho, atop the fact that he already hates her because she's a Mudblood, a dirty old Mudblood, with no life, no friends, a fat ass, and an ugly face. But it never bothered her, really, that he called her a Mudblood. It only troubled her because that's all he saw in her. He didn't see the person, behind the good grades and all the smiles, the real person that was bursting to come out of her... The real person with her own problems, her own worries, and her own faults. She tried so hard to be perfect, for her parents, because they were always perfect, and they couldn't live with a daughter so mistakenly imperfect.
'Maybe that's why they didn't want to come see me off today... I wasn't good enough for them? They didn't want to be seen with me.' Of course, that was understandable, because she didn't even want to be herself. So, irrepressibly, it wouldn't be a stretch of imagination that he loved her, because maybe in the world, you do actually have someone that loves you? Because her parents obviously don't, and Ron and Harry obviously don't, even Neville doesn't anymore. And Viktor... He never loved her. Just as she was finishing this train of thought, Ginny jumped up behind her.
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away
She walked around the Muggle train-station, proudly bearing her mangled, sliced up, bleeding limbs. She knows she'll never see these strangers again, but she manages to keep a cold, straight face as they turn to stare, to look at the twisted freak that would mutilate her body like this. But they can't even see the half of it, hidden under her long jeans, her flowing brown hair, and underneath the layers of makeup she puts on every morning, just to hide herself from the bare-nosed accusations that she knew would come to be if she didn't hide it this well. She slowly pulls her sleeves down as she reaches the barrier between her and the wizarding world.
'It could be over now,' she thinks to herself. 'I don't have to go back, and I don't have to stay here... I'm sure there's a train coming soon. I could just end this pain right now...' But those thoughts eventually disperse, as she sees her fellow classmates waving at her. She waves back, out of politeness, and because she knows, and she laughs as she thinks about it, but she knows that everyone sees her as a happy go-lucky person, and if she didn't wave, someone would get the idea that something was wrong, and it would get out, and all her friends would know, and her parents would know, and HE would know.
That's the last thing she wants, him to think she's psycho, atop the fact that he already hates her because she's a Mudblood, a dirty old Mudblood, with no life, no friends, a fat ass, and an ugly face. But it never bothered her, really, that he called her a Mudblood. It only troubled her because that's all he saw in her. He didn't see the person, behind the good grades and all the smiles, the real person that was bursting to come out of her... The real person with her own problems, her own worries, and her own faults. She tried so hard to be perfect, for her parents, because they were always perfect, and they couldn't live with a daughter so mistakenly imperfect.
'Maybe that's why they didn't want to come see me off today... I wasn't good enough for them? They didn't want to be seen with me.' Of course, that was understandable, because she didn't even want to be herself. So, irrepressibly, it wouldn't be a stretch of imagination that he loved her, because maybe in the world, you do actually have someone that loves you? Because her parents obviously don't, and Ron and Harry obviously don't, even Neville doesn't anymore. And Viktor... He never loved her. Just as she was finishing this train of thought, Ginny jumped up behind her.
