Christmas
1992
11 years since Lily died, but Snape still has a heart harder than stone. Often Snape has been confronted by Albus Dumbledore, for whom he worked after the Dark Lord's downfall.
"Come now, Severus. Surely you are not still sore about Lily?" says Dumbledore.
"I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about, Headmaster," Snape replied coldly.
"you may have the others fooled, but I know that beneath your cold exterior you have a heart. Haven't you wondered why I don't have more mistletoe near the dungeons?"
Snape looked nervously around the room.
"And no Valentines decorations. I've seen the way you and Lily looked at each other. The eyes you made at each other. Yes, even your kisses beneath the mistletoe. "
A blush was rising in Snape's pale face. "I-I don't- I mean- you do-I-" he blustered, but he quickly regained his composure. "Please Headmaster, I must prepare my next lesson. "
"Very well, Severus. But do think over what I've said."
"I assure you, the holidays are simply another time of year, during which those insufferable brats-"
"Severus..."
"Er,those children," he spat the word,"pay less attention to their studies. It means nothing more to me." and with a curt bow, he stormed out.
We shall see, thought Dumbledore with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
...
When Snape got back to the dungeons, he was alarmed at what he saw. The place that was usually his one sanctuary from the holiday chaos was covered from floor to ceiling in Christmas decor. Holly, ornaments, snowflakes, and sprigs of mistletoe. Snape tried to rip them down, only to find that they were held by a Sticking Charm.
As he made his way to the Great Hall, he found mistletoe lining each hallway. Seeing as the mistletoe only reminded him of Lily, he was quite upset by the time he had joined the staff table for dinner. He hoped no one noticed. But no such luck.
"Are you quite alright, Severus? You look quite shaken. Perhaps a visit to Madam Pomfrey is in order?"asked Dumbledore.
"No. I'm fine, sir,"Snape replied silkily.
"Ahhh, yes of course!"the old man's eyes were twinkling.
Snape gave Dumbledore one of his infamous death glares. Dumbledore merely smiled.
...
Then came Valentines Day. Snape's dungeons now were adorned with roses and frilly pink hearts. Yet another reminder of his deceased love. It looked like a giant can of pink hearts had exploded in every room and corridor. It seemed like Cupid had gone overboard with the arrows. Everyone, from students to teachers, was sending and receiving valentines galore! Those little brats! If I catch the one who organized this treachery, I'll kill 'em! thought Snape. I can't even teach one lesson without being interrupted by valentine deliveries or little pink hearts falling from the ceiling. I'll bet that fool Lockhart was involved.
By the time he made it to lunch, he was too depressed to enjoy the meal. He'd had enough painful reminders of Lily to last a lifetime. Maybe the sadness showed in his face, or maybe it was because he was merely picking at his food and twirling his fork, because the Headmaster had that mischievous twinkle in his eyes again.
"Severus, you seem unwell. Perhaps Poppy can help," he said with a grin.
"Yes, Severus, you do look a little green. Poppy's Pepper-Up Potion works wonders on a woozy stomach," commented McGonagall. "Come to think of it,who prepared the chicken today?"she added, placing a hand on her own stomach as her expression went suddenly from thoughtful to one that looked as though there was a particularly wild Quidditch match in her stomach. In short, she appeared very nauseous.
"I'm quite sure that won't be necessary for me, Miss, although it seems you may benefit from one yourself," Snape said coolly.
"Ah, yes I believe your sickness can't be cured by a mere potion, Snape," said Dumbledore. Snape was looking positively murderous. Perhaps the Headmaster noticed, because he said:
"Have a heart, Severus!" then proceeded to conjure one in mid-air. It was covered in what looked suspiciously like images of Lily, with threads oddly resembling her lovely hair. Snape scowled, but Dumbledore simply smiled.
The valentine's festivities were still going on by dinner, by which time McGonagall was feeling much better. The eyes that McGonagall and Dumbledore were making at each other was enough to nauseate Snape. Maybe that potion will help after all. he thought, Why they must offer the staff alcoholic drinks is beyond me. I just know that Minerva and Dumbledore are irritating even sober. Add some wine: They get tipsy and even more romantic than before! Snape thought with disgust. Then Dumbledore whispered something to McGonagall and she approached Snape and asked him to dance. Dumbledore insisted, so he led Minerva out to the dance floor and they began waltzing around the room. They spun and dipped and twirled, and finally Severus, looking rather queasy and clutching his stomach, staggered away and very dizzily fled the room, though not without bumping into most things he passed, including several students. His dizzy attempt to flee drew the attention of the whole room, after all, it was not every day they saw him lose his composure like that. Severus, feeling his meal swirling inside his stomach, did not make it far before his nausea got the best of him and he ran into the nearest restroom and threw up his supper.
...
The next day at breakfast, it was announced that Apparation lessons were now available for 6th and 7th years. Dumbledore and Snape led the lessons. After an introduction to Apparation, Dumbledore decided that a demonstration was in order and requested that Snape please show them how it's done. Snape scowled, but complied. He Apparated a few feet, and to his relief Dumbledore continued his speech the second Snape finished Apparating. This meant that nobody, he hoped, saw him double over and clutch his stomach in an attempt to make the nausea subside. Severus was not the only one to get sick. Nearly the entire class was sick at some point. Dumbledore was not surprised in the least.
"Most people vomit the first time"he said.
"Can't imagine why"Snape mumbled.
...
He hardly slept that night, and consequently fell asleep during breakfast. What he would soon find out, much to his horror, he could be heard talking in his sleep at staff table.
"Not Lily. Not Lily. I'll do anything. Not Lily."
Or: "I love you, Lily."
And even, yelling once which, needless to say, scared everyone within earshot out of their wits:
"NO! LILY! LILY! Please, no. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you. So much. Please, Please... NO!"
At this, he was shaken awake by McGonagall and Dumbledore, and no doubt was quite embarrassed to realize that he had fallen asleep during a meal.
"Severus! Are you ok?"asked McGonagall.
"Wha? I-" Snape yawned, but looked rattled.
"It was just a dream, Severus" the Headmaster said simply.
"What? I-I..." Snape trailed off, reality finally sinking in. He had dreamt about Lily and evidently talked in his sleep. He blushed furiously. He tried to hide it behind the napkin McGonagall had just given him, seeing as his face had fallen into a plate of very messy eggs and toast. Dumbledore only smiled, the mischievous twinkle in his eyes brighter than ever, having just heard Snape confess his feelings for feelings for Lily.
"The truth at last!"exclaimed Dumbledore. Snape glared daggers at him. McGonagall looked utterly bewilder
ed.
The same sort of taunting continued through the next few months, until Snape finally reached the breaking point.
"Enough already! Why are you so determined to ruin me?! I-I... Arg!" he stormed out of the Great Hall, looking positively murderous. All students (and teachers, for that matter) within 10 feet of him sat as still and quiet as they could for fear of encountering the wrath of such an angry Snape. A couple of first years actually started crying because of the intensity of the death glares he was giving them.
Time for the tables to turn, he thought angrily as he headed for the Great Hall for lunch the next day. He took his seat at the staff table and pulled from his pocket 2 envelopes which contained journal entries he stole from the diaries of Albus and Minerva. Minerva's entry was slipped under the headmaster's plate and vice versa. The entries happened to contain a detailed description of how they felt toward the other... deeply in love. Giving Albus Minerva's letter had been to embarrass her as part of their constant fighting but slipping the entry to McGonagall had been to get back at Dumbledore for all his taunting about Snape having feelings for Lily. Severus smiled to himself, proud of what he had done. He watched as the two opened the envelopes and read the contents. Both adopted looks of amazement and joy. He made mental note to stop by Minerva's room to eavesdrop while Albus and her played chess. The topic of the envelopes was sure to come up eventually.
His theory proved correct that evening when he stopped outside Mina's room to eavesdrop through the crack in the door.
"I received rather strange but not particularly unpleasant note this morning," said Minerva's voice. "It appeared to have been torn from a journal, yours in fact, Albus. It was about me. "Woman of my dreams" "best friend, hopefully more". Is that truly what you think, Albus?" she asked.
"I do believe this is Severus's way at getting back at me. Yes, it is true. You know, I came across similar page, one from your diary my dear. Do you really feel that way, Mina?" he asked. Minerva blushed Gryffindor scarlet and smiled in embarrassment.
"Yes," she said shyly. Then suddenly she leaned over and kissed Albus full on the lips, looping her arms around his neck. Her heart pounded, her legs grew weak and her stomach fluttered. He reached up and pulled the pins from her hair, causing her graying black hair to tumble down her back all the way to her waist. Albus lowered his arms to her small waist and pulled her closer.
Snape snapped a wizarding picture, but unfortunately drew McGonagall's attention. She sent a flock of canaries chasing him away. He quickly turned and ran, ready to put his plan into action.
