Prologue

Do you know the feeling when you move from a place you've known your whole life to a place totally new? When you are forced to say goodbye to friends and family when you can't even imagine a minute without them? No? Didn't think so. But I can. I know that feeling. It's painful and heart breaking and for the last two years, I dreaded moving to my uncle's house. It was hard fitting in, and still is, after all the crying after school; Mom still said that I'll get over it. But the minute I stepped into my uncle's house, I knew that I wouldn't last long there…then suddenly everything in that blockhead of mine went blank, and strayed back to the day that we left. My head pounded as I remembered all the commotion and the tears that burned my face, as they ran down my cheeks.

Chapter 1 ~*Elise

It's the day. Today's the day that I move to Uncle Tom's in Rochester. Stupid ol' Uncle Tom's. Mom's telling me to come downstairs and say goodbye to everyone. But instead, I ignore her and stare blankly outside the window. I've been trying to keep my feelings in for the last hour or two. The last thing I'd want to do is to start blubbering away like everyone else. I can hear Mom telling someone that I'm in my room.

My room used to be colorful, warm, and alive. With sketches and drawings on the walls, photo albums stacked on my desk, my guitar resting against the book shelf, and my skateboard by the door where my brother would usually step on it and hit his head on the wall. But now it's boring, bare, and sad. All that's left is the windowsill and me. I'm now sitting on it trying to convince myself that's this is just a dream. A nightmare. That I'll wake up any moment and everything will be the same. That this nightmare would end and I would wake up in my bed and laugh. I'd laugh and say, "I'll never drink expired milk ever again." But it's not a dream. It will never be the same.

While I'm sitting there like a lump on a log feeling sorry for myself, Mathis and Nathanial creak open the door and ask if I died yet.

I manage a weak smile and say, "Thanks for coming but I couldn't convince my mom to stay in your basement. Sorry." The guys have been my friends since first grade. If it wasn't for them, I'd be the "pretty n' pink" girl that my mom wanted me to be. Life just wouldn't be the same without them…and that's exactly why this hurts so much, because I might never see them again.

"Well then we're gonna have to go with Plan B buddy ol' pal," whispered Mathis, which was rather quite loud like he wanted me to hear.

"And what would that be Frankenstein or it that top secret?" I asked, even though I knew he was going to tell me anyways. "We've come to a decision; either it was my plan or Nat's. Nat's plan was that we threaten to take you hostage, but mine was to put you up the Killer Squirrel Tree and stay there until you are allowed to stay here," he said proudly.

The guys are so immature sometimes but hey, we're entering 10th grade, I think we're allowed to be silly once and a while.

"Did that already," I said," Mom said she'd tickle you into telling her where I was or would take tree with her."

"Darn it!" Mathis muttered, "I was SO sure that was going to work!" Nat was being all quiet until now and said, "Oh poopydoop,"which usually means, "Oh darn it."

Nat has his own little language. It's kinda weird if you ask me, but don't count on me to understand the world of boys because I wouldn't know where to begin!

Then Mom called and said we were going to miss the flight at 9pm if we didn't get going. Then the tears that I had been holding in for such a long time couldn't stay in anymore. Those tears overflowed and burned as they ran down my cheeks as I hugged them goodbye.

"Hey there…don't go all teary eyed on me. You're getting my shirt all wet," Mathis mumbled. I know he's trying hard not to, but he's crying too.

"Don't worry Lizzy we'll come and visit you," said Nat.

This is so cruel, I thought. It's like tearing me into pieces and letting Mrs. Hooperstien's dog bury them in the ditch. I must have said that out loud because Mathis remarked,

" No, it would be worse if you turned into a pink, girly girl that only cared about your pants making your butt look big." I laughed. The guys always know how to spoil a bad mood.

"I don't get it!!!" Nat whined. "Well you don't get anything," Mathis muttered teasingly.

"ELISE ELIZABETH KROUSE!!!!"

"IN A MINUTE!!" I yelled.

"You know if we just sneak out the window, run to another town, change our appearances and names, we'll be all fine and dandy," Mathis grumbled.

"Unfortunately that's not gonna happen," I whispered. I felt my eyes filling up again and turned away.

Mathis took something out of Nat's bag.

"Um…uh Lizzy, Nat and I saved up our money to…um get you this laptop. We put that big book of memories that we have and copied it on here so…um-"

I hugged them hard until Mom called again. Then they slowly walked me to the car and handed me the red laptop.

"Text us everyday? K?" asked Nathanial.

"Yeah. Everyday." I said strongly. I took off my hat and put it on his shaggy head. Then I unhooked my favorite golden cross necklace from my neck, and slipped it into Mathis's hand.

"Take care of it," I said bravely.

"Never take it off," he reassured me.

I got in the car and waved.

They waved and I looked harder as we were driving away, but I think I saw my little Nat crying. I watched them until I could not see them anymore. I turned around in the warm seat and took my ipod out of my bag. I turned it to "Collide" by Howie Day and stared blankly out the window watching the world go rushing by. Minute by minute I was trying controlling myself not to make my mom stop the car and run home to them. My friends. My best friends in whole world...are now gone for who knows how long. After wondering how my life will change once we get to Rochester, I realized I didn't even know why we even had to go!

"Mom, why did we have to leave?" I asked, "And where's Carter?" Carter is my 17 year old brother. For a brother, he's alright.

"Carter's going to meet us there to remind Tom that we're coming, you know how much he forgets. Don't wanna freak him out like last time," Mom lectured.

"But you never even told why we had to move to his stupid town in the first place!!!" I shouted through my gritted teeth. Mom turned her big, fat head around to give me her "listen to me or die" look.

"Don't you yell at me young lady! And I don't see why I should even have to tell you, it's not your-

"It's my life you're ruining, SO I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW!!" I cried. She stopped the car and looked at me with a sad look on her face. I felt another tear run down my face. Again. What is wrong with me?! What happened to the tough girl that never cried? Oh yeah…I left her at home. With my dignity. Maybe we should turn around and go get it. I'm gonna need it at my new school. I'm really gonna need it. I've been to Rochester before and people there are nothing but trouble and crap. Yup. Crap. The stinky kind you step in and spend the whole day trying to get off.

"Your brother and I didn't want you to know this but, you're family and yes you're going to be…adjusting too so I'll tell you." She turned around and started up the car again onto the highway.

"Ever since your father…passed away, I haven't been able to keep up with the bills and depts. My job alone just couldn't keep up with it, s-so I called your uncle to help me. He agreed to give me 10% of his paycheck. But over the years, it just wasn't enough. But Tom called me again and said that his friend wants to hire me… I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you this but I thought it would trouble you, and I didn't want you to worry more than you already are because of school. Y-You're not mad at me are you? But I understand if you are…I would be." she said.

I have never heard my mother talk so shakily before. It sorta scared me at first, but then I felt guilty about what I said. She has always been strong, and confident. But whatever-whoever that was, was certainly not the person I grew up with. Now I realize that she was just trying to help me, and to protect me…

"I-I'm sorry Mom…I didn't realize tha-

"It's fine," she cut off, "You didn't know. You don't need to apologize Lizzy, I did. Ok?"

"Um…where are we going to stay?" I asked. I suddenly thought that I didn't know that either. All she said was something about Tom's. But I REALLY hope she didn't mean that we're staying there. It's filthy. I mean I'M messy, but not as disgusting as him. Ugh.

"At Tom's until we can afford a house of our own," she said glumly.

What?! What did she just say?! She must be kidding. She has to be. Last time, she complained to Dad all the way back that she never wanted to go to his brother's until he did some cleaning, and that was 7 years ago! We haven't gone there in a while because Mom refused. Dad died a year later and then we didn't have any reason to go anyways. Mom said it was too painful. Yeah. Painful for the mind and the senses. Last time, Carter keeled over the sofa because the smell. Lucky him. I felt like doing that too. At the time I REALLY wanted to keel over and die too. My stomach's turning just thinking about it.

"Please tell me you're not serious!" I choked, "I'd rather kill myself now than go in there! It's so disgusting!!!"

"I know and I'd rather die with you but we have no where else to stay. I've looked at the hotel prices for just one night and that costs more than a house alone!" she mumbled.

"Um…just wondering uh, what class are we getting on the flight?" I asked. I am so scared right now…Please not third, please not third, please third, PLEASE not third!!!!!!

"Thanks to Tom, we have second class. I know what you went through last time," Mom replied teasingly. Everybody praise God! Last time, I had to sit next to this person resembling Jubbah the Hut with his royal burritos and beer…*shiver* Brrrrrrrrrr! Bad memories! Bad memories!

"Ok we're at the flighty Aphrodite! " She cheered. Ugh, that nickname annoys me, but I was so happy and tired that I let her have her fun. Once we were on the plane my mom fell asleep instantly. The waiter lady came around and I bought some Skittles and started to read my book, The Shamer's Daughter. When I finished, I turned on my ipod to "Another You" by Cascada. The song echoed in my head as sleep took over me…

"A thousand ways to dream rolling off my eyes

But times been healing me and I say goodbye

Cuz I can breathe again

Dream again

I'll be on the road again

Like it used to be the other day

Now I feel free again

So innocent

Cuz someone makes me whole again

For sure…I'll find another you…"