"James, this is a bad idea."

Remus Lupin, if he was honest, loved James like a brother. He loved them all like his brothers. But my goodness they could be maddening, a trait Remus had often linked to their prosperous upbringing.

"It is not a bad idea," James replied, even more animated than usual. "When is it ever a bad idea to make someone happy? To lift someone's spirits? To bring a smile to the ill and infirm? How can that possibly be wrong?"

"When she hates you, for one. Sirius, please, help me out here."

"Not a chance, mate," said Sirius. "And miss this? Not for all the tea in China."

"Peter?" Remus pleaded, looking over at their roundish friend. "You don't think this is terribly wise, either? Do you?"

Peter, for his part, simply gestured at James and Sirius, making rather a moaning sound as if to say "not particularly, but who am I to disagree with them?"

Remus rubbed the bridge of his nose. "James. Please. Listen to reason! She – "

"Ha! Never!" James replied triumphantly. Remus didn't miss a beat.

"She's had a shite last few weeks: What with Snape calling her, well, you know. Then there was you and Sirius nearly killing him, and – "

"For which we have duly apologized," Sirius interjected. "To Lilikins, at least. Snivellus had it coming."

"And now she's in Hospital. Peter, did you ever find out what's wrong with her?"

"Well," Peter began, "I tried to ask Emme, but she was surrounded by the rest of them – you know – and when I asked they all looked at each other, got dead serious-like, and then Emme said it was none of my business and shooed me away."

"That's odd," Remus surmised. "We're her friends, too. What could possibly be so bad that they – oh."

A collective squirm was felt around the four boys as they realized exactly why Lily's ailment was kept so mysterious.

James jumped up after a quick silence. "No matter, gentlemen. We will soldier through! We have the supplies; they came in through Owl-order today, bless Mr Zonko's mad, mad heart. Our fair Lily's spirits will be lifted, she will thank us for it, and the name Marauder will be known and feared throughout the land as a force for good!"

Peter began to clap, until he realized that no one else was, so he stopped.

"James, please. This is really not wise. We'll – "

"Mr Moony, your concerns have been noted, and we thank you for them," James interjected. "However, tonight there is mischief afoot, and we should therefore really get to footing."

Remus knew it was all over once James began to use Marauder names. At that point, it was best for him simply to stand by and make sure his friends and brothers-at-arms didn't wind up killing themselves or blowing up the castle.

"Besides, it's just a simple display; a magical greeting card, if you will. What could possibly go - Padfoot! Careful with that, that's pure Erumpent Horn right there!"

Remus sighed. It was going to be a long night.

"Merlin's tit. Is that what I think it is?"

It was later that same night, and the lads had already been through a time of it. Filch and Mrs Norris were patrolling like they were behind on quota, two or three of the other patients in the Hospital wing were light sleepers who needed some encouragement to remain asleep, and Nurse Pomfrey, delightful as she was, was still making her rounds at half one. When they were finally able to set up their display, they found the curtains weren't quite concealing enough, so they had to be lengthened, and while Transfiguration was James's strong suit, it wasn't Sirius's, and James's arms were full, so everything wound up taking half an hour to set up, rather than the five minutes it was supposed to. And then they rush back to Gryffindor Tower, back to the fifth-year boys' dormitory, only to find –

"If you think it to be an unopened bag of peppermint leaves, then yes, Prongs, that's precisely what it is," Peter replied. He, James and Sirius turned to Remus.

"Yes?" Remus asked. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Peppermint leaves, old boy," Sirius replied. "For your Euphoria potion. They attenuate the effects so that – wait. Aren't you supposed to know this?"

Remus began to rub the bridge of his nose again, and then he raised his hand in acceptance of his mistake.

"That one's on me, gents," Remus said. "She's going to have a bit more euphoria than we thought, I guess. Can't really hurt her, though, can it?"

The other three Marauders looked at each other quizzically.

"Er, normally we'd be asking you that question, Remus," Peter piped up.

"For Godric's sake, I can't always be the answer-man around her, can I?"

"Actually, mate, you kind of are," Sirius replied. "That's your job, innit? I mean, Prongsie's the leader, I'm the pretty one, and you're the clever one. You have to know these things."

"What about me?" Peter asked, expectantly. This was followed by an awkward pause, during which Peter looked at the floor and scuffed his foot along the floor.

"Anyway," Remus blessedly broke the silence, "look fellows, I'm sorry. I made a mistake. But, really, how bad could it be?"

James, who'd been pacing in circles since the moment the offending potions ingredient had been discovered, interrupted.

"We have to go back. Abort the mischief."

"What?" Remus asked. "Is it really going to be that bad?"

"This has Marauder written all over it, Moony. If Lily winds up inhaling some of that Euphoria potion, she'll dance around the Hospital Wing for hours, tweaking noses and singing songs. Who knows what that could do to her? Then she'll blame us and never talk to us again. Plus, she'll get McGonagall involved, and then where will we be? No, we must go back, we must take it down. Abort the mischief, gentlemen."

And so it was that Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, at quarter to three on a Sunday morning, re-entered the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for what ought to have been a ten minute clean-up operation. They approached the privacy screen in front of Lily's bed, where they had placed canisters that, upon Lily's awakening, would blossom into flowering vines to cover the edges of the screen. There was also a red and gold banner with the words "Get Well Soon, Lily Evans!" printed on it in sparkling gold calligraphy. And there was to be music accompanying all this, with a record player charmed to play Lily's favorite song, Elton John's 'Your Song,' as the banner unfurled. To ensure Lily had a pleasant awakening, the flowers were dosed with a mild Euphoria potion. Or at least they would have been, had Moony not forgotten the peppermint in his concoction.

The plan was simple: Remus and Peter were to dismantle the vines from the screen, James and Sirius were to unhook the banner and shrink the record player and record, and they'd be in and out in five minutes, tops. Ten if the vine canister had attached itself to the screen. Which, unfortunately, it had.

"Padfoot!" Peter whispered. "Give me a hand over here, will you?"

Sirius walked over to Peter's side of the screen, and kneeled down to help.

"Padfoot, wait! Did you wash your hands? You still have – "

There was a small bang. The hearts of the four boys sank like stones.

"-Erumpent Horn powder on them. Oh, bollocks."

The vines began to grow, but as they were shot out of their canister with Erumpent Horn powder, they began to grow very quickly. Sirius grabbed onto a vine almost as soon as it shot up, but all that did was to cause four more to grow out of the spot where his Erumpent-laden hands touched the vine. Peter tried several cutting spells on the vines, but, as they were Zonko's Brand trick vines, they simply began to grow in two directions instead of one.

James was doing his best to wrestle the vines back into submission. He leapt at one that was nearing the wall (at which point, there would be no hope of containing it), and brought it down. But it snapped back at him, pushing him back into the screen, knocking the banner off of its pinnings, which unfurled it. At that point the music started, but instead of playing track 6 of side 1 of the record at volume 2, it played track 2 at volume 6, meaning instead of 'Your Song' at a volume only Lily could hear, the entire Hospital Wing was treated to 'Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting'. And, naturally, playing the music was the cue for the vines to flower, which released the super-strength Euphoria potion, so Lily and her fellow patients were treated not only to Elton John, but to a duet of Padfoot and Prongs.

Or at least they were, until Nurse Pomfrey shouted, among other things, "Finite", thereby ending the vines' attack.