Chloe looked out across the cemetery, watching the leaves skittering between the tombstones for a few seconds before dropping her gaze to the flowers she held in her hands. She toyed with the plastic wrapping on one of the bouquets, worrying her bottom lip between her front teeth as she tried to gather enough courage to look up again.
Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, enjoying the sensation of the cool autumn air stinging the bottom of her lungs. She took a step forward and opened her eyes. "One step at a time," she murmured. "Just do this one step at a time. Start with the easiest one first, then just go one step at a time."
She set off across the cemetery, following a familiar path through the graves. Eventually, she stopped in front of a large, plain plaque that was set into the grass.
Chloe knelt down to brush a thin layer of dirt and leaves from the stone, wincing as she did so. "Sorry, Dad," she said. "I haven't been here in a while and things got a little messy."
She sat back on her heels, staring silently for a moment at the carved letters of her father's name. "Oh, these are for you," she said finally, gently placing one of her bouquets on the bottom of the stone. "Mom sends her love, but she understood why I wanted to come here alone today."
Sighing heavily, Chloe ran a hand through her hair to push back the locks the wind had blown across her face. "I've got someone else I need to see, otherwise I'd stay and talk longer. I hope you'll forgive me, but I really need to talk to her."
Taking one last look at her father's grave, Chloe stood and walked toward the front of the cemetery, stopping at a tombstone that stood mostly on its own with only a few others near it. She kept her eyes glued to the ground even as she turned to face the tombstone.
"Hey, Rachel," Chloe said softly, still not looking up. "I'm sorry it's been so long since the last time I talked to you. I, uh, brought you flowers."
Her gaze shifted to the bouquet in her hand and she chuckled, finally raising her eyes to look at Rachel's tombstone. "I know you always thought it was a little silly and wasteful to bring flowers to people's graves, but I didn't know what else to bring. And my mom was watching me when I left so I couldn't grab you any weed."
Chloe reached out and placed the bouquet at the foot of the tombstone before taking a step back and sitting down cross-legged. Her eyes fell to the ground again, becoming unfocused as she rubbed at the back of her neck.
"I was thinking the other day that I never really told you about Max," Chloe said, her eyes snapping back into focus to track the progress of a leaf as it drifted in front of her boot. "I mean, I've told you about her, but I never really told you what she did for me.
"Having you in my life was amazing, Rachel. You made it so I could forget my anger, my pain, and focus on having a good time in the present. But after Max came back, I realized that you only ever offered me a temporary distraction. Which wasn't your fault," Chloe said quickly. "You were what I needed at the time and I'm really grateful to you for that. But Max…she was, well, she was Super Max."
Chloe snatched up one of the leaves littering the ground and began slowly shredding it, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth as she continued. "When she came back into my life, I was so happy. You wouldn't have been able to tell, at first, because I was still pretty mad at her, but eventually I forgave her.
"And then she helped me in ways that I don't think you ever could have. She showed me how to confront my anger and my suffering rather than just push them aside. She didn't make the hurt go away; she helped me become strong enough to bear it, which I think was a lot better for me in the end, even though I sometimes hated it at the time."
Chloe braced her elbows against her knees, letting the remains of her leaf fall to the ground. She watched the small bits of leaf shudder in the wind before being lifted into the air. "I wish you could've met her, Rachel. I think she could've helped you, too. And the person she became after all the shit that went down…" Chloe trailed off, shaking her head slightly. "It was almost unbelievable. I barely recognized her. She was so confident, so sure that what she had to say and do mattered, so set on helping everyone in any way she could."
Chloe grinned and glanced back to Rachel's tombstone. "She became the person I always knew she could be. Who she always was. She just had to stop being afraid. And when she did…my god, I've never been so in love."
She sat in silence for a few seconds, her grin slowly fading as she caught sight of the bouquet of flowers sitting on the ground next to her. "It was good talking to you, Rachel, but I gotta go now. I've got one more bouquet to deliver and this one's gonna be the hardest."
Grabbing the flowers, Chloe stood and walked several steps to the right, pausing in front of a grave that the grass hadn't yet grown over. She stared at the tombstone, swallowing thickly to try to dislodge the lump growing in her throat.
"Hey," she said quietly, almost inaudibly. "I hope you heard me talking to Rachel. I don't know how much more I can say without crying so much I won't be able to speak, so…" Chloe let out a soft laugh, tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. "I'm sorry I haven't been back here since the funeral. I just needed some time, I guess. I know you understand, but…ah, fuck," she said as the first tears slipped down her cheeks. "Told ya I was gonna cry. Like I said, I should go before I turn into a blubbering mess, but here, these are for you."
Chloe stepped forward and placed the flowers on top of the tombstone with a shaking hand, her fingers lingering on the cold stone. "I miss you," she said. "I'll come back soon, I promise."
She stayed with her fingers resting on the tombstone for a few more seconds before pulling away, making a fist around her chilly fingers and shoving it in her jacket pocket. Using her other arm to wipe her face on her sleeve, Chloe turned toward the cemetery gate. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, listening to the wind rustle the leaves scattered across the ground.
"I love you, Max," she whispered. "We didn't get as much time together as I would've wanted but, damn, the time we did have was good."
Opening her eyes, Chloe headed toward the exit of the cemetery. When she got to the gate, she turned around to see that the sun was beginning to set, adding to the shadows the tombstones already cast across the ground.
"The golden hour," Chloe said, the corner of her mouth quirking up in a smile. "I promise we'll spend the next one together, Max. I'll even bring that instant camera you were still hauling around."
