AN: Shameless drabble. Takes place right before Erza loses her eye.


She hates the dark.

But then again, she hates a lot of things. She hates the stench of desperation because it hovers around her and she can't punch it to make it go away. She hates her scarlet hair because that's why they chose her and she thinks it looks nice but that doesn't mean it's not ugly, does it? She hates waking up after a few hours of fitful nightmares and lying still, surrounded, in a silence that terrifies her.

She hates the strong and she hates the weak and she hates that the two are so painfully divided. She knows where she fits in and she doesn't feel she fits at all.

When she hits herself because that's all she can do really, she hates that he comes and he comforts her with his stupid sweet laugh and she hates that she doesn't push him away, but he told her he liked her scarlet hair and that almost surprised her – almost.

She told him she hated living here, and he disagreed – he told her they weren't living, and when she tried to argue he asked her why she even cared if she hated it all so much, and she just wanted to slap that stupid little grin off his face because it lights up everything around her and she doesn't want to see what's really there.

She didn't though, she didn't slap it off his face, because he said he liked her hair and now she likes it too even if it is ugly, and instead of hitting him she lets him hold her and she almost smiles – almost.

Once he told her she was strong and she almost kicked him, she really did, but then he smiled his stupid little grin and she couldn't stop her lips from answering those kind, kind eyes that never seem to feel the dark.

He says he's escaping tomorrow and he'll take her with him if she'll just say yes and this time she really does hit him and she's almost crying because it's all just so stupid and why would she want to go with him when he shocks her by pulling her into his arms which are as tired as hers are, and she almost hugs him back – almost.

That night, she says she's sorry for hitting him and if he'll let her, she'll go with him. She doesn't see his stupid little grin because no matter how bright his smile is, she knows it's not gonna make it through the dark and all of a sudden she's crying and in his arms and laughing at the same time because she knows that there is a darkness that one kind boy's bright smile can't dispel and that almost makes her want to fight for him – almost.

And then before she knows what she's doing she's holding his shoulders as he hugs her and she's sure he's still smiling and right there without even thinking, she almost kisses him – almost.

She can feel him smiling even though she can't see it and she wonders if maybe his light could break the darkness inside her and maybe if it did and she just can't see then eyes aren't as important as she'd thought they were.

Still, that doesn't mean she doesn't really hate the dark.


AN: l have too much fun writing things that don't make sense.