The crossover event to end all crossover events! The one that never happened! Set between Buffy 6th season and Angel 3rd, when our star crossed hero's were torn apart by the powers that be- a.k.a. the WB and UPN networks.

The telephone rings at AI:

Angel: Angel Investigations, I help the hopeless and have sex with Cord- what? Buf-

Networks: *hem-hem*

Angel: Buf---falo? I mean... you're alive? (Hint, hint!) Yes, my love! I'm on my way!

Gunn: What's the mission, dawg?

Angel: (tearful): You can not come!

Cordy: Why not? Angel! We are you're side kicks! Without our love and support you go semi-evil! LET US IN! Metaphorically speaking

Angel: It's my one true love! It's-

Networks: *Hem-Hem*

Angel: Err... yes. I must go to her

Fred: Where?

Network: *shakes head*

Angel is so choked up by tears he can not speak. He points at the caller ID on the telephone. It reads: SUNNYDALE, CA Angel stalks off into the night. Fred sighs dramatically. She is the hetero Willow of the show.

Network: Isn't she cute? Could she be... a possible LOVE interest?!

Meanwhile in Sunnydale:

Buffy: Oh! Look! I'm alive! But depressed, sigh. And the telephone is ringing. How strange. Everyone I know is here.... Hello? OH! Hold on! I'll be there in a moment!

Xander: Who was that, my dear- not dead friend?

Buffy: The caller! It was-

Network: *raise eyes*

Buffy: Err-a prank call!!!

Willow: What?

Buffy: yes! A prank call from... Los Angeles! *wink* I must go to Los Angeles and.... Err... stop the evil prank phone callers.... Yes...good bye!

Giles: But Buffy! WAIT! YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE WORLD.

*door slams*

Giles: Sigh. She no longer accepts my father/ authority figure. I can't play the father, anymore, dot, dot, dot!

Spike: Sigh! And err- bloody damn! (Because I'm a British Bad ass)

Network: Isn't he sexy? Could he be... a possible LOVE interest?!

AND NOW:
Shit happens and the networks hate us so they don't show the naked sex... err... not sex because it's not possible because Angel goes evil. Maybe... naked cuddling?
Anyway: About 2.3 million rather poorly written fan stories about the untold event later:

Buffy's Return to Sunnydale:

Willow: Tell us all about it!

Anya: Yes Buffy! Tell us all about the sex!!

Buffy: I can not

Xander: Why? Who was making the prank phone calls?

Buffy: It was A-

Networks: *hem- HEM*

Buffy: It was Achmed... the charming foreign exchange friend back from high school. Yes. He says hello. Now I can not disclose anymore information, otherwise I might be stoned to death by the networks and die... again

Spike: NOOOOO!!!!

Network: See? Spike is sad! He is sexy too! He is clearly the perfect boyfriend/sex poodle/ rapist for our show! Plus he has very nice hair and six pack abs... LOVE interest!

Angel's Return to L.A.:

Cordy: How was it, Angel?

Angel: I don't want to talk about it!

Cordy: Alright... so, have sex with me!

Angel:.... Huh? What about Fred? I thought we were a thing!

Cordy: Screw Fred. I have bigger boobs! Besides, Fred is off with Gunn because Gunn needs a purpose other then saying things like "Word" and "Dawg" We need to show that he is not the stereotypical token black guy.... We need to show he is three dimensional....

Angel: Do we?

Network: *nods*

Angel: Oh.

Cordy: Now about my boobs...

Angel: HEY! Look! It's Darla again! She's blonde and she's got boobs and she's carrying my kid.... Sorry Cordy, wait it out till the end of the season

Cordy: *pouts*