Premza: Hi, this is a random story that I know nothing about so far!
Darkling: yes you do I explained to you!
Premza: Well, at least I know enough about the Harry Potter side.
Darkling: yea.
Premza: So Ed is short, yes?
Darkling: yes very short very very short.
Premza: How short?
Darkling: about your height. He's 16.
Premza: Oh. That is short.
Ed: Who are you calling so short you couldn't even see with a magnifying glass you jerk?!?!?!??!!
Both: Er, you.
Ed awoke on the train and opened his eyes blearily to the sound of Al's high voice.
'Brother, did you hear that?'
'Hearing what? What? What am I supposed to be listening to? Did someone call me short? I'll kill em! I'll stick coal so far up their butt they'll be coughing up diamonds!'
'That's physically impossible, Ed. Look what happened last time. All that happened is that you got your hands very dirty.'
'So what did you hear?'
Al began to make strange hand signals and mouthing energetically. People around him were staring even more than before. He was a seven foot suit of armour. Now he was a seven foot suit of armour making strange hand signals and talking without making any noise.
Ed poked him after about five minutes.
'What?' he mouthed.
The train came to a jolt and everyone started piling out. Al dragged Ed out into a corner of the station.
'There was a big guy, bigger than me, talking about the Philosopher's stone!'
'Oh, I was wondering what-' Ed mimed stroking a long moustache that he didn't have. '-meant.'
'That's not the point. Look, there's them over there.'
Ed finally noticed a giant man that seemed twice as tall as any other man and four times taller than himself. He had a large, dark bushy beard but a kind looking face. Next to him was a small boy, short but still taller than Ed. (Dammit!) He had messy black hair and glasses.
Ed watched them walk past.
'Hmm, they do look suspicious.'
'I don't know about suspicious, Ed, but I did hear that big guy talk about it…In what I guess was his type of code.'
'Really? Well Al, I think we just made a new mission for our selves, don't you?'
'But the Colonel's already has given us one.'
'I doesn't matter, he knows that that's our first priority, right? So he should let us follow them. Where did they say they were going?'
'I didn't say they were going anywhere, but I did hear that they were going to a place called…Hogwarts, if I remember correctly.'
'So how are we going to contact the Colonel about this?'
'We? I think you mean you.'
'What?'
'You are going to contact him and tell him, you're better with words than me.'
'You're not giving me a choice are you?'
He knew it was a no.
'Um, Colonel, I need to talk to you.' said Al on the phone, in a small phone box, holding the phone with two fingers as he was afraid he might break it.
'What can I help you with Al? When will you be arriving with Ed, he is with you, right?'
'Yeah, he's here, um Colonel, I have a question, do you know what and where Hogwarts is?'
'Yes, it's a school for witches and wizards… don't ask me how I know that, I just do.'
'Well how do we get there?'
'Why do you want to know?'
'Because we found…It… well, it's at Hogwarts.'
'Well that's amazing news!' He didn't sound amazed at all. 'How about I enrol Ed, and you can be his amazing armour creation that he brings along? Don't ask why I'm being so agreeable.'
'Are you being payed to do this by someone?'
'Yes, goodbye, I'll contact you when I've finished talking to the headmaster…. Wait, I'm done. You're enrolled; your stuff's in compartment number seven on the train, in the platform 9 3/4 between platforms nine and ten, run through the barrier and you're there. Bye.' He hung up leaving Al in shock.
'Excuse me,' Harry said to the plump woman.
'Hullo, dear,' she said. 'First time at Hogwarts? Ron's new, too.' She pointed at the last and youngest of her sons. He was tall, thin and gangling, with freckles, big hands and feet and a long nose.
'Yes,' said Harry. 'The thing is- the thing is, I don't know how to-'
'How to get on the platform?' she said kindly, and Harry nodded.
'Not to worry.' She said. 'All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Don't stop and don't be scared you'll crash into it, that's very important. Best do it at a bit of a run if you're nervous. Go on, go now before Ron.'
'Er- OK,' said Harry.
He wheeled his trolley around and broke into a run. He slipped straight through the barrier, followed by not just Ron, but a very big suit of armour and a very short boy unnoticed.
Later, when Harry and Ron had found a compartment, the short boy with his giant suit of armour knocked on the door.
'Can we join you? Our stuff's already in here.'
'Oh. Yeah. Sure.' said Harry. 'Er- what's with the suit of armour?'
'Oh. I… I enchanted it. It moves on its own. It kinda helps me with stuff.'
'Really? That's so cool!' Harry thought of the possibilities. What could he do with a seven foot suit of armour?
His thoughts of it wrestling with a squealing Dudley were punctured when Ron broke in. 'Hi. I'm Ron Weasley.'
'Hi. I don't care.'
'Ed, that's not very nice.'
'Wow, it talks!' exclaimed Ron. The suit of armour panicked and snapped frozen. 'I didn't just talk,' it said.
'Yeah… I'm working on it. It doesn't like talking.' said the boy who seemed to be dubbed as Ed.
'How did you do it?' asked Harry.
'Well… It's actually quite simple. I analysed the human soul and calculated the amount of physiological pressure that the biological metal can withstand and assumed the amount of information I needed to elicit form the Gate and then I- '
'Ok, ok, you can stop now.' said Ron. 'What are you, some kind of genius?'
'Well… I'm not really one to toot my own horn, but…' Ed grinned. 'Beep beep.'
The armour seemed to sigh.
Ed then continued to talk about his own genius, explaining things that made no sense to either of them, when a certain bushy haired girl slammed opened the compartment door.
'That's wrong.' she said.
'No that's right.'
'That's wrong.'
'That's right.'
'That's wrong.'
'That's right.'
'That's wrong.'
'That's right.'
'That's wrong.'
'That's right.'
'That's wrong.'
'That's right.'
'That's wrong.'
'That's right.'
'That's wrong.'
'That's right.'
The armour stood up, shocking every one in the compartment, picked up Ed, sat him down and scolded him for being so rude to a girl. Then, the armour must have realized what it just did, panicked and froze.
'I did not just stand up, pick up Edward sit down again scold him for being incredibly rude to a girl.'
Every one stared.
'Yes you did…' said Ron.
'What is that thing?' said the girl, staring at the armour. The armour flinched, but did not say it did this time.
'I created him.' said Ed.
'HIM? But its voice is so high, almost feminine!'
'Well, I based him on some one important to me.'
No one spoke.
'Who are you both?' said pointing to Harry and the girl.
'I'm Hermione Granger, and you are?'
'I'm Harry Potter.'
'Really? Wow!' they both said. Ed just looked confused.
'So you're the amazing Harry Potter, I'm so sorry about your parents. I can't imagine life with out mine, right Ed?'
'I can, my mothers dead and my father most likely is too.'
'Oh. Sorry about your parents too then.'
Premza: Now review! Or I will not edit Darkling's parts and you'll be stuck with her bad grammar and non- existent punctuation! No offence.
Darkling: None taken.
