Disclaimer: Grant Naylor ownss Red Dwarf, not me. etc...

Ok, here it is, thought the recap was too short so you've got the first chapter as a bonus, hope you like it (especially Boogle who's started hounding me about my Cat & Kira stories) Remember to read and review. Next chapter coming soon but keyboard playing up again so soz for spell mistakes - Read On...


Kidnapped

Story So Far…

This is the story of the forgotten crew member of the mining ship Red Dwarf, the crew member's name is Kira Olivier. She was rescued from death by dodgy drive plates when Cat rescued her using a leak in stasis on floor 16. She and the other misfits of Red Dwarf has many adventures – often ending in been rescued by each other from life threatening situations and/or been cured of mal-adjusted mutated viruses. Whilst with the Dwarfers, she grew ever closer to Cat, as they fell in love and she became pregnant with his… kitten.

Unfortunately she contracted a mutated Influenza virus during her 8th month of pregnancy and was placed in a stasis booth aboard Starbug, whilst a cure was found. Revived a couple of hundred years later she gave birth to a Daughter, named Danielle Alegra Kristina Catrina Olivier.

Now her story – and the search for Rd Dwarf continues…

Unwelcome Visitors

Lister walked lazily into the cockpit, he stepped over a hand made soft toy monkey and flopped into his chair. He opened a can of larger and propped his feet up on the console sighing in contentment.

He turned to his right to see Cat cradling Dani in his arms and Rimmer stood in the doorway pulling faces in annoyance droning on about how the cockpit wasn't a crèche.

"We've got Kryten always ironing or washing or some smeg, right now Kira's filling milk bottles," He shuddered as he sat down. "And now you're ignoring you're duties too." Rimmer picked up a changing bag full of the 21st century nappy brand "Pampers" from the floor and moved it onto Kira's chair to be out of the way.

"Chill out man, just because her first name ain't Alegra." Lister smiled as he lent over and lifted the 3 week old half kitten from her father. Lister sat Dani on his chest and placed his hat on her head, she gurgled and snuggled up to him.

"Guys, I'm getting something in my left nostril." Cat warned as he winkled his nose up in disgust.

"You sure it isn't Dani?" Rimmer asked, rolling his eyes.

"No – wring kind of smell. It's a smelly, furry, ugly kind of smell." He elaborated.

"Oh you mean Listy?"

"No it's not grease stain, there's no curry scent..." Cat started but descended to mumbling. "Oh my days." He whispered after a moment, starting to freak out his buds.

"What? What is it?" Lister asked, panic rising in his voice as he instinctively tightened his grip on Dani.

"It's the in-laws bud." Cat explained as a GELF battle cruiser de-cloaked in front of them.

"SMEG!" Lister cried, standing up smartish but still holding onto Dani who was beginning to cry, but Cat couldn't tell whether it was from the shouting or the GELF ship's scent.

"Threat warning – they have a lock on, we've got 5 minutes to decide whether to fight, flee or talk." Rimmer told the others.

"DAMN! Guys – Get in here – LILAC ALERT!" Lister called behind him, over the din of Dani's crying and Rimmer's rants of "We're gonna die!". Kira bust in holding a bottle of milk which she threw to Lister, who caught it and gave it to Dani to try and calm her down. Kryten followed a few seconds later.

"What's lilac alert?" Kira asked as she moved the changing bag and sat down.

"It's like red alert ma'am but the only replacement working bulbs we could find were the lilac ones left over from Christmas." Kryten explained.

"Err right. What's happening?"

"Monkey's wife." Cat groaned.

"Should I load the garbage cannon sir?"

"Hang on – You're married?" Kira laughed.

"Hey it was a trade me for oxygen, didn't work out though – could get it annulled but the in-laws would kill me."

"Looks like the going to anyway bud."

"What's she like?" Kira asked at the same time as Kryten re-asked about the garbage cannon.

"Bigfoot's ugly brother – No kryten, we can't fight they could blow us to bits in one hit at that range, we can't flee either, we'll have to negotiate." Lister deduced, as he tilted the bottle so the more subdued Dani could drink easier.

"Negotiate? We might as well die now!"

"Getting a transmission – Punching it up." Kryten said as he pressed a button, causing the face of a GELF to fill a monitor. It began to speak in its native tongue, but the words were run through the translator.

"Dave come back, daddy want to – Who is that?" The voice asked as the GELF on screen lifted a hairy finger and pointed at Dani.

"Oh this is Danielle." Lister said, lifting her up for his "wife" to see her better, hoping she'd go soft on Dani and leave. The GELF stared in Disbelif then shock as she noticed Kira for the first time.

" Please go and leave my family and friends in peace - Dave doesn't want you and you can't harm an innocent child." Kira begged as Dani gurgled and pushed the empty bottle away.

"You have a child?" The machine translated as the GELF's face disappeared from the monitor.

"Hey babe, I think gorilla girls thinks – DANI!" Cat screamed as she vanished from his Bud's arms and reappeared on the monitor – been held by the "wife".

"We used the matter transporter you gave us to take you're child, your molecular structure is too large, so she is been used as a bargaining tool. No harm will come to her as long as you come to me and the three of us can be a family – forget the female. Daddy will even forget about the oxy pack thing." The translation ended and everyone stared in shock for a second till Kira burst into tears and the normally cool Cat rose form his chair, his hackles raised, his face dark.

"Give me back my kitten." He growled before turning and taking Kira's hand in his to comfort her.

"Your child?" The GELF began to panic before calming herself.

The teeth should have been a big giveaway." Rimmer smirked, but quickly shut up as Cat threw him a glare.

"Make a choice - the child or Dave." The GELF ultimated, holding up the howling Dani who was still wearing Lister's hat.

"YOU WHAT!" Kira screamed in anger as she staggered to Cat and collapsed onto his knee, laying her head on his shoulder and crying in anguish.

"Dave comes to me, or I keep the girl."

"NO!" Cried the distraught couple as the others – especially Lister looked on aghast.

"You have one minute to enter the airlock Dave." She warned as the crew felt the GELF ship dock with Starbug.

Lister suddenly felt all eyes on him. He looked from Cat and Kira to the empty milk bottle he'd been feeding Dani with, not a few minutes earlier. He gulped and walked towards the airlock door.

"Sir I must object." Kryten began, but Lister cut him off.

"Look, I like the idea of been a GELF's sex toy for all eternity as much as the next guy, but there's no other way kryters – don't bother trying to get me, they'll only nick Dani again."

"Cut out noble crap Listy – It doesn't suit you." Rimmer scoffed half heartedly.

Lister smiled weakly and stepped into the air lock.

As he closed to door the last voice he heard was Cat's –

"We've got to get him from freak face somehow." Lister stepped onto the GELF vessel, wishing he could believe Cat's promise, wishing things were normal and this hadn't happened, he shook his head and looked around wearily as he felt the vessel separate from Starbug, but in the dim light he could barely make anything out. The next thing he knew he was been grabbed from the side, and blackness enveloped him as something hit him on the back of the head.