Chapter One

At Voight's

Erin let herself into Voight's house and made her way through to the kitchen. Her bag slipped off her shoulder and she quietly placed it on the counter, along with her keys. She looked over to Voight to see him preparing food. "Hey kid, you hungry?" He enquired. "Yeah, I guess..." Her response quiet and distant.

Voight stopped preparing the vegetables, laying the knife slowly down. He turned to face Erin. He offered a comforting half smile, it had been a very long and traumatic day. Hell, it had been a long and traumatic two weeks with Erin away. "Halstead is ok. You did good kid, remember that yeah?"

Erin briefly smiled before returning her sorrowful mask. "Yeah, I know, it was just… close. You know?"

Voight nodded. "Too close" he thought to himself. He briefly thought back to how he felt when the team had entered Keyes's house and he had heard the gun shot from within. He was sure his heart had stopped. "Do you need to go to med and see him for a bit?" Voight questioned, his best caring voice in action. "Will it help you sleep tonight?"

Erin laughed fleetingly. "Nothing will help me get sleep tonight. Apart from a drink maybe…" Voight's face turned colder. Erin noticed and quickly finished, "don't worry. Before you start- I'm not drinking. That's over, ok?"

"Yeah. I know. The rules Erin, don't forget the rules." Voight answered, straight to the point as ever. "Hey, come here…" He stretched his arms out open, inviting her for a hug. Whatever trouble she had been in again, she was still important to him. Like his own daughter.

Erin stepped forward and felt his arms wrap around her. She tucked her head into his chest and felt the reassuring feelings of safety and comfort coming back to her. It felt good to be back in Voight's good books, if only briefly. "Anyway, he's not at Med. I took him home earlier, they let him go." Erin stated looking up to Voight, a tight smile on her face.

"He what??" Voight snapped, pushing Erin away. "What the hell is he doing at home? Who's he with?" Voight continued his interrogation.

"Woah! Hold up! I think his brother will be with him by now." Erin answered, assessing Voight's concern and calculating if she should also be worried. "I passed him walking home from Med earlier when I went up to see him. Gave him a lift home. He seems ok, just quiet, you know Jay."

"I do know Jay." Voight said quietly.

"I didn't stay with him, or I might have missed my curfew here." Erin said with a slight sarcastic tone. "Plus, it was… err, awkward. He wanted to be alone."

Voight was deep in thought, not truly listening. He growled briefly and rubbed his mouth with his fingers. "I don't like it Erin. I saw that video of him being tortured, you didn't. I don't think he should be at home Erin, seriously, at least not by himself." Voight began hunting for his keys. "I'm going over there. You coming?" he shouted, at the front door.

"Yes. Shouldn't I just call Will first? See if he's not there with him?" Erin answered, moving to catch up with Voight.

"Call him on the way. I'm not wasting time." Voight swung up into his black SUV and turned the blue lights on. He accelerated down the road in the direction of Halstead's apartment.

At Halstead's

Erin had dropped Jay off outside his apartment block. There was an awkward atmosphere in the car, a difficult silence with things left unsaid. Jay was keen to get out and get home. He was truly exhausted and desperately needed a shower and some fresh clothes. Erin seemed to have bought the story of him being discharged and was ok bringing him home. She agreed to come visit him tomorrow morning. Her detective skills were clearly still under the influence of her extracurricular activities over the past few weeks. Jay smiled to himself, it felt good when he first saw her at Keye's coming to rescue him. Just a shame it took this experience to entice her back and would she stay this time?

Jay winced as he climbed the stairs up to his apartment. Always pushing himself unnecessarily. His ribs were killing him, in truth, his whole body was killing him. "Drugs, shower and bed. That's the plan." He muttered to himself. He approached his door, feeling a little faint and queasy from the climb. He automatically went to his pocket for his key, only to find his suit pocket empty. "Shit." The thought of walking back down to the supervisor's room for a spare key was just too much. He looked at the door and gave a classic Halstead smirk, "Maybe I could just knock it down? Sort it out tomorrow?" He thought. "No. Stupid. Really stupid." He huffed and shuffled back in the direction of the elevator. Walking was becoming increasingly harder, he felt breathless and tired.

The supervisor let him into his apartment, but not without plenty of worried glances and an offer of calling 911. Jay reassured him all was well, just a tough case at work. "Do I really look that bad?" He thought to himself. He flicked on the lights and walked straight through to the kitchen for a glass of water. Changing his mind, he went to the fridge instead and pulled out a cold beer. He snapped the top off and took a long drink. "That was needed." He said aloud. Following his original plan, he reached into the kitchen cupboard for analgesia. He took the Tylenol and Advil, with a further large sip of beer. Jay could almost here his brother's disgust at his methods of taking pills. He laughed briefly at the thought.

Jay made his way into his bedroom, trying to shed his clothes. They were vile, the suit pants were clearly ruined. He stopped as his thoughts drifted away to the previous 24 hours where at one stage, he had lost control of his bladder and urinated in his clothes after repeated electric shocks. He shut his eyes, a feeling of shame rising and anger starting, he clenched his fists until he noticed his wrists and shoulders were aching from being tidied up for so long, he forced himself to relax. His head dropped, he had been trained for this, a feeling of disappointment started that he hadn't been able to handle himself better. "At least I didn't beg them to stop…" He thought, still lost in his memories.

He perched on the edge of the bed and tried to bend down to untie his shoes. The overwhelming pain in his chest made his eyes bulge, his mouth opened in a silent scream and he stopped moving instantly. Slowly lifting himself back up, he slipped his shoes off with his feet by the heels. He unzipped his pants, dropped his boxers and stood slowly so they could both fall. On standing, his world began to spin, his hearing became distant and echoey, black spots danced in his vision. Nearly falling in the tangled clothes around his ankles, he reached out and grabbed his chest of drawers in order to keep himself on his feet. His head was pounding and the queasiness from earlier was rising again. He took slow deep breathes and started to feel better. Huffing disappointedly, he decided it might be time to phone his overprotective brother Will. He squeezed his eyes shut picturing Will's disappointment at finding out about his self-discharge. That is of course if he didn't already know. Somethings do not remain confidential at Chicago Med. When it came to the Halstead brothers, news travels fast. Jay had to get out of there, he doesn't do hospitals, unless its bad. He could walk, he'd live.

Opening his eyes, he kicked off his pants and stopped to think about his cell phone. "Shit." He said aloud whilst closing his eyes. He had failed to realise that not only his apartment key, but both his wallet and cell were safely tucked away in his desk drawer back at the precinct. He laughed at his own stupidity. "Could things get much worse?" He asked himself, catching sight of himself in his mirror. He stopped and looked. "Ok, I do look pretty smashed up." He mumbled. "Had worse though, much worse." He thought, rolling his eyes and moving towards the bathroom, another sip of beer cooling his throat.

He reached into the walk-in shower and turned on the tap. The water warmed up and steam began to fill the bathroom. Resting his beer on the sink he sank down on to the closed toilet seat and began to unbutton his shirt. The shirt came off, revealing the bruising he could feel was there. Another wave of dizziness found him. He felt clammy and began to breathe deeply trying to fight off the nausea. "Maybe the beer wasn't a great idea!" he heard an imaginary Will say. Suddenly the nausea broke with a tidal wave, he stood up quickly turned around and only just managed to open the toilet seat in time before the vomiting began.

Jay was starting to realise just why they wanted to keep him in for observation for at least 24 hours. Reviewing his injuries, he thought about the repeated hits to the head he had taken from Keyes and his men, he clearly had a concussion to some degree. He had a number of broken ribs and breathing was definitely a process that was becoming more painful with time. The burns from the electric shocks were sore and perhaps needed a medicated ointment. He planned to speak to Will about that tomorrow. He could tell his kidneys were bruised from the treatment by the metal pipe. If he was hydrated enough to pass urine, he had a feeling there would be blood it in, never a great sign. On looking closely, he realised there wasn't much of his torso that wasn't bruised or cut. He winced at the idea of taking a shower but needed to wash the stink of the last 24 hours from himself. He rose from the bathroom floor very slowly. Naked, he stumbled towards the shower.

The hot water fell across his back and ran down his body. Instantly easing his discomfort. He reached for the soap and began cleaning his body, gently rubbing the foam around. Another wave of nausea arrived, Jay began his usual trick of breathing deeply to fight it off. Only this time, the deep breathing irritated his painful broken ribs. The sharp snap of pain in his chest caused the black spots to return in his vision. "Not good." He mumbled leaning on the shower wall for support. Before long the black spots increased until he realised, he was closing his eyes and couldn't fight it. He knees buckled and he dropped down into the blackness with a crash.