I Don't Think I Can Say Goodbye

There are good days and there are bad days for the Locksley household. But today is Valentine's Day and Robin is determined to keep those smiles on his family's faces. Even though the doctor's news of Regina's leukemia spreading brought the family down, his family was curled up on his king size bed watching Lady and The Tramp in their pajamas. Of course Roland, being 15 won't admit he loves this movie, but he didn't pick a fight with Carolina knowing it was his little sister's favorite movie. Regina is curled up in the middle of the bed with Carolina and Roland curling into both her sides while she holds them tight. Robin looks on from the doorway and smiles. He is going to miss her so much.

He enters the room and slides under the cover next to Carolina.

"Scoot over little bird." Robin says as he gets under the covers.

"Okay papa." She says.

Regina looks over her daughte'rs head and smiles as Robin caresses her cheek.

Roland curls in closer to his momma and Robin holds Carolina tighter as they all turn their attention back to the screen. They laugh and joke as Tramp is running after the chickens that he scared while Lady away from the traumatized.

Regina looks over at Roland and says, "You know I bet you and your dad would pull a stunt like that."

Roland raises his eyebrow. "What? You mean cause trouble?"

Laughing, "Yes that but also driving your sister and I mad every chance you get. Isn't that right baby girl?"

Carolina pokes her papa in the shoulder, "Every second of every day," she says.

Robin starts tickling Carolina and says, "Alright you. Remember who makes your dinner tonight."

Carolina has tears in her eyes as Regina and Roland join in tickling the life out of her. "Guys stop I surrender!"

They tickle her a bit ore and then Roland pulls his hand away first and gets situated again while everyone else follows. Regina kisses Roland and Carolina's head as they turn their attention back to the TV and their movie.

The soft music is playing in the background as Lady and Tramp are walking around the city and Carolina looks over at Regina.

"Momma?" she asks.

Regina looks down at her. "What is it baby?"

"Do you feel up to dancing with papa?"

Regina looks over at Robin with sorrow in her eyes. She hadn't been feeling well this morning. She had thrown up all last night and her body ached from the fever she couldn't break. Robin had held her hair back as she let it all out and kept bringing her cold rags throughout the night. She had been hiding the nosebleeds and the constant vomiting for a while but Robin saw right through it. The chemo was getting to her and it was getting harder to move or even eat now.

Robin looked over to see all the pain in her eyes. She wanted to get up and dance with him. It was their tradition on Valentine's Day to share at least one dance with each other before the night would end. But he knew it wouldn't sit well with Regina when her children saw her fall because she could barely stand without wobbling. They were losing her and it tore him and the kids a part.

He takes Regina's hand in his own and Regina responds, "No baby. I wish I could but why don't you go dance with papa in my place. I'll watch you both."

She looks at Roland and asks, "Ro can you go and put on their song. It should already be up on the IPod. If not just look under Carolina's playlist."

Roland pulls the covers back, kisses her head and says, "Okay momma bear."

Robin helps Carolina out of the bed and leans forward to kiss the tip of Regina's nose. She smiles and tries to hide the tears that are threatening to spill as he looks at her and sighs.

"Alright little bird, you ready?" He takes Carolina's hand in his own and walks her to the center of the room.

She looks over at Regina who nods at her and then smiles at him. "Okay papa."

Roland hits play as Carolina stands on her papa's feet and wraps her arms around her daddy's waist. They sway back and forth as Tim McGraw's song My Little Girl plays softly in the background.

As they sway Robin starts to sing along with the song as Roland and Regina watch from the bed curled next to each other.

You're beautiful baby, from the outside in
Chase your dreams but always know
The road that will lead you home again
Go on, take on this old world but to me
You know you'll always be my little girl.

Regina holds Roland in her arms as she lets the tears slowly fall. Watching her baby girl and her love dance was breaking her heart. How is she going to be able to let them go? She can't leave her son, who is silently letting tears fall as he clings tightly to her, live without her. She won't be able to see her Carolina grow up and get married and fly just like she was meant to. And her husband. Oh Robin, how is she going to leave him? He will be alone with two children that will need a mother. How is she supposed to tell him to love again?

She continues watching them dance and holds her son tighter. If this is going to be her last Valentine's Day she will cherish this forever.

She kisses Roland's head and wipes the tears off his cheeks. "Ro can you help me up?"

Roland looks at her confused. "Momma what are you doing?"

"I want to dance Ro. It may be my last chance to dance with you." Roland sighs softly and kisses her forehead.

"Okay momma. Put I'm going to hold you."

Regina wants to protest but knows she doesn't have the strength to stand. She simply nods as he picks her up cradle position and sways to the music.

Robin and Carolina hear the rustle and look over to see Roland picking up Regina. He picks Carolina up and rests her on his hip as he watches his son hold his mother tightly. The music changes and the slow harmonies of Boyz II Men's Song for Mama plays in the background.

Mama, Mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, Mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like tears from the stars
Mama I just want you to know lovin' you is like food to my soul

Robin holds Carolina tightly and watches on as his son holds his momma tighter as she rests her head on his shoulder.

Before the song ends Carolina says, "Papa you can dance with momma like Ro is."

Robin kisses her head, "I guess you're right little bird. Can you go put on our song while I go get momma from Ro?"

She smiles. "Of course papa."

Robin sets her down and walks over to Roland. "Son can I take her?"

Roland nods and gently transfers her into his strong arms. Regina settles her head into the crook of his neck as Robin looks at Carolina mouthing go ahead. Carolina starts the music and laughs softly as his daughter puts on one of his and Regina's favorite songs.

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

He feels his wife tighten her arms around his neck and holds her closer swaying with the music. He closes his eyes and imagines a life where she isn't sick. He thought he could save her and the worst pain was behind them. Why is fate so cruel to them? How are his children going to live with the pain of losing someone? Will they get through it?

He looks down at Regina and sees her smile. Her eyes are closed and her breathing is shallow. She is so still he thought she had fallen asleep. He whispers his fears out loud, unaware she would hear them.

"I don't know I am going to go on without you."

He holds back the sobs as she breathes in heavier and he realizes she is still awake.

She looks into his eyes and puts her hand on his cheek. "It's all going to be okay Robin. You can do this."

He leans his head down to her forehead and closes his eyes. He breathes her in and cherishes these last moments with her. She is his life and he won't waste it drowning in sorrow.

"I love you Regina.' He says before kissing her lips softly.

She responds with a soft, "I love you too Robin," against his lips.

He kisses her lips once more tenderly before resting his head atop hers.

He looks on at his children as they sit on the bed watching their parents. "Happy Valentine's Day you two."

They both reply, "Happy Valentine's day papa."

Regina finally falls asleep on his shoulder as the music finishes. The song was right he was always in the arms of an angel. He kisses her head softly, lays her under the covers and whispers, "Happy Valentine's Day my love."

FIN

AN: This is for the wonderful Oncerforever101! I hope you love it and have a wonderful Valentine's Day. I know it is painful but I hope it shows all the love that Regina and Robin have for each other and their family. Again Happy Valentine's Day darling! Mwah! LoveFromOQ