Lord Death & Excalibur

It was a sunny spring day. Lord Death was on a journey to enquire the holy sword, Excalibur. Lord Death stumbled upon the book detailing the history of the Holy Sword in a large Library. He hovered over high cliffs, grassy foothills and Lord Death reached the ancient cave in-which Excalibur inhabited. After Lord Death wandered inside the cave and explored the area, he was startled to see a fairy about the size of a small paperback book flying around in the cave. He asked the fairy about the holy sword, she just stormed away.

"Odd," Lord Death thought out loud after the fairy had flew so far away she wouldn't hear. Death continued on his journey. Finally Death found a room lit with a blue tint of light, with a short 3 foot plateau in the center of the room. Stabbed into the rock of the plateau was the Holy sword, Excalibur! Death then pulled the sword, oddly it was easy to pull out, and then it started to glow.

"Congratulations!" a voice yelled.

"Who's there?" asked Lord Death.

"I am the holy sword, Excalibur! Whoever wields me will have everlasting glory and power." Then the sword warped out of Death's hand like magic and then it transformed into some rabbit, badger, ant-eater (alien) looking thing with a old fashioned top hat and the top of a black tux. (He wore no pants…)

Death stared at Excalibur, bewildered, stunned, confused and full of laughter.

"Aha ha ha ha… You're the holy sword, Excalibur? But you're a…" lord death said full of heart.

"FOOL! I am a weapon from the 12th century, so do not interrupt me!"

"Fool? Do you know who I am!" Death said ready to strike the creature. (I mean weapon…)

"FOOL! Of course not… But if you wish to wield me and have everyone know your name, you must do all 1000 of my daily provisions."

Then a long exchange happened between Lord Death and Excalibur, arguing over who was the fool. Excalibur however did not know this was the Grim Reaper, himself. Excalibur told Death all about the provisions, including the 5 hour storytelling, his morning coffee, to celebrate his birthday with a huge bash, (Excalibur's birthday is everyday) and many other tasks. Then Lord Death asked the most stuff question to ask a holy sword that is full of himself.

"Can you tell me more about yourself?". Death did not know this would make Excalibur burst into song.

Excalibur! Excalibur!

From the united king

I'm looking for him

I'm going to California

Excalibur! Excalibur! Excalibur!

Lord Death then looked disgusted at Excalibur (Death doesn't like music, who knew?) and hovered away.

"Wait! There are 9001 more verses!" Proclaimed Excalibur

"I'd rather be stuck with Black Star!" yelled Death leaving on his merry way home.

And thus was the reason Lord Death hates Excalibur. But really, who doesn't?