Luca- Luxembourg
Jan- Netherlands
Anri- Belgium
Andrei- Moldova
Alin- Romania
Tsvetan- Bulgaria
…
Um, this is more an early New Year's thing than a Christmas thing, but nevertheless, Merry Christmas to you all, and even if you don't celebrate, I hope you've had a pleasant few days.
Now this was meant to be Luxembourg x Moldova, but it turned out more platonic than romantic, but mostly really sad. There are hints of hunbel, turkned and one-sided robul too.
Warning: there are a few sensitive issues that crop up in this, so proceed with caution.
…
Luca scowled as he stomped along the pavement, snow getting into every little ridge and crevice of his shoes and making them slippery, especially as he trod on snow that had been trampled on dozens of times before, and had become compact and smooth. The entire street was covered in several inches of the stuff, which glowed orange under the street lights. Above him, there were no stars, just more dull-orange glow on inky black. Most of the city was inside, celebrating the last night of the year with friends and family in the warmth of their homes with music and laughter and silly games. Around half an hour ago, Luca also had that, but not now.
Around him, snowflakes still fell, covering his eyelashes and obscuring his vision. They rested on his hair, coat and scarf, burning his cheeks like cold sparks as stuffed his gloveless hands into his pockets.
He'd not thought this through.
He'd only thought to bring a scarf and coat when he'd left, having mostly focused on packing his most prized possessions into his new rucksack, which was a present from his brother for Christmas. His jeans and trainers were not suited for cold, slippery conditions, having been made to be stylish, not practical, and were now cold and damp. Perfect, just perfect.
No one had noticed him slip out; they'd all been too busy shouting at his sister to care if the thirteen year old was upset or scared by the noise at all. Apparently, people as prominent and influential as their parents couldn't allow their daughter to dare tarnish their reputation with something as scandalous as having a girlfriend. Anri had wanted to show off her beloved girlfriend, Elizabeta, to her family, and after weeks of hearing all about 'lovely Lizzie', Luca had been excited to meet her. Jan was too.
Their father hadn't minded Elizabeta at all, sitting her down and getting her a drink, telling her to help herself to snacks and make herself comfortable. Luca and Jan introduced themselves whilst Anri flitted about excitedly, and everything was fine.
Then their mother came home.
She was late from work and already in a bad mood, but when she saw Elizabeta sitting there, she tried her best to be welcoming, for whom she thought was Jan's lady friend. Until she found out Elizabeta was dating her daughter, not her son.
Then it all kicked off.
Before Luca knew what was happening, his mother was screaming abuse at Anri and Elizabeta whilst their father tried to calm her down. Jan was in the middle, shielding the girls in case anyone tried to hurt them, though Elizabeta seemed ready to throw a few punches herself.
Jan tried to be brave, attempting to calm everyone down, but Luca could tell he was afraid. There was that look in his eyes that betrayed how utterly terrified he was. And who could blame him? Whilst Luca had listened to Anri's stories of her secret girlfriend, he'd also listened to Jan's stories of his secret boyfriend. Now Jan knew he could never introduce Sadik to his mother, not after all this. And he'd only just worked up the courage to make his relationship public at school…
As for Luca, well, even if his mother was the open-minded kind, he doubted anyone in his family would believe him if he said he too came out as not completely straight. So what if he was thirteen? So what if it looked like he was just trying to copy Jan and Anri? He knew he liked boys and girls, and that was good enough for him.
But it wouldn't be good enough for anyone else, so he had no choice.
Slipping past everyone, he'd snuck out of the door, with his bag, not even bothering to glance into the sitting room. He could hear enough.
Now here he was, walking along a desolate street past boarded up shops and smashed bus stops. He had no idea where to go, but he couldn't go back. He just walked, mind numb.
Deciding he couldn't walk any more, Luca sat down at the edge of the pavement, feet in the gutter whilst he hissed at the cold of the snow and cursed himself for not thinking to bring food. No, he'd brought teddies, his diary, some photos and his favourite book. No food, no clothes, keys, money, phone, bus pass. God, he was an idiot…
Glancing at his watch, he saw it was quarter past eleven. This was not a good time to be out and about alone. It was dangerous for a little kid like him, but he didn't care.
He heard footsteps behind him and turned around to see a small figure collapse into an alley behind him. Whomever it was curled up in front of the gate blocking access to the alley- which was between the glowing neon and corrugated shutters that made up the two shops on either side- and pulled out a thin, greying blanket.
"Are you okay there?" he asked, standing up. Yes, his parents and siblings had repeatedly told him not to talk to strangers, but they weren't here, and he was still angry at them, so decided to ignore every warning and piece of advice they'd ever given him. Yeah, he was going to talk to a stranger, and maybe after that he'll cross the road without looking both ways first.
No, that was just stupid.
The person grew more and more afraid the closer Luca came. He stood in the snowy pavement, looking down at what he now realised was a small boy, younger than him even, with dark hair and wide, fearful eyes. He was dressed in a long coat, patched in several places and dotted with fake furs and dirt. The child's feet were bare.
"Don't come any closer!" the boy called, voice weak and hoarse. He wriggled into a sitting position, crawling backwards until he was pressed against the gate. His face was thin and bony, and covered in layers of dirt and what looked suspiciously like dried blood, especially around his mouth. Luca wrinkled his nose; the kid smelt like bins.
"Hey I'm not gonna hurt you," he gave a kind smile, "what's a little kid like you doing out here anyway?"
"You're hardly a grown up yourself!" the boy shot back, "sure, we're close to the same age, right?"
"I'm thirteen," Luca replied.
"And I'm nine!"
"So you really shouldn't be wandering around on your own then."
The boy breathed out sharply through his nostrils, looking away and refusing to reply.
"So you're a runaway too?"
"Kinda," the kid replied, "didn't have much of a choice though."
"Oh? What do you mean?"
The child paused; "uh, it's kind of a long story. Want to sit down and hear it? I wouldn't mind some company. Don't get much company nowadays."
"Sure! Oh, my name's Luca, by the way."
"Andrei. Nice to meet you," Andrei shuffled over, offering some of his blanket; "do you have something to eat, by any chance?"
"No sorry," Luca slumped down next to him, "I didn't think to bring any food, or water. Or money."
"Why not?"
"I'm an idiot?"
"Not the most street-wise, are you?" Andrei asked.
"No I'm just a spoilt rich boy too far from home," Luca sighed.
"Then why don't you go back home? You don't need to be out here."
"I'm scared." Luca curled up into a ball, hugging his knees, "everyone kept shouting at each other because my sister brought home a girl."
"Oh. Sounds like my big brother," Andrei replied, far away for just a moment.
"Oh, right. Your story. Gonna tell it then?"
"Of course!" Andrei sniffed, curling up tighter under his blanket. "But, uh, before that, can I borrow your shoes for a bit? My feet are getting cold."
"Huh?" Luca looked down at his and Andrei's feet, which were peeking out from under the blanket. Luca wore his thick, expensive shoes, caked in snow and dirt whilst Andrei's tiny, bare feet were blue and covered in grime, hard and blistered from an apparent life of living on the cold streets.
"Oh, right!" He leaned forward to pull off his shoes, carefully slipping the other boy's feet into them, "hopefully that'll warm you up soon." Almost immediately, Luca felt the snow melt into his thick socks, curling round his heels like icy fingers. Soon they'd be soaked through.
"I doubt it." Andrei coughed, his whole body trembling and shaking with the effort. He seemed to jerk forward with each cough, holding his hands over his mouth, his eyes bulged and watery. Eventually, he slumped against the gate, breathing slow and ragged, through his failing, rattling chest. He wiped his hands on the blanket, leaving a smear of phlegm and blood across it.
"Here," Luca handed the child his scarf too.
"Thanks." Andrei gave one last cough before settling down, "so, I moved here when I was five, I think. That's what my brother said. He's called Alin, by the way. We didn't have anyone else looking after us, so he was kinda my whole world."
"Sounds like he's very important to you," Luca commented, "where is he now? Why is he just letting you sit here in the cold?"
"You'll understand when I tell you." Andrei let out another series of coughs. "We didn't have much money, but found a place to stay. There were loads of us in one house. It was noisy, and weird, but really fun. There were lots of rules though. Like, hide the TV when the licence people came to visit, and don't answer the door when the bailiffs ring. I couldn't talk about certain things at school, or in public. But it was still fun! I shared a sofa with Alin and every night he'd hug me and tell me he'd always be there for me and keep me safe."
Andrei looked down at his feet, wriggling them slightly, "I think they're warming up a bit. Thank you for lending me your shoes."
"Should we get you to a hospital?" asked Luca, "you seem pretty sick."
"I've been sick for ages now," Andrei shrugged, "I barely notice any more. Well, I do, and it's getting worse, but I'm used to it."
"Then we should go!"
"I don't think I can be fixed…"
"But-"
"My story," Andrei threw him a glare, "I just want to tell it to someone. Stop being a meanie and listen!"
"Right, sorry."
"Alin was my world, and I was his, mostly. There was someone else he wanted in his world, one of the other people living in our house."
"Another man?" Luca grimaced.
"Another man. I was told to call him Uncle Tsvetan. Everyone in the house was my Uncle or Auntie, but I liked Uncle Tsvetan best, well, apart from Alin. He was funny, and really kind. He'd listen to me when Alin wasn't around and sing to me when I was sad. Alin told me he thought the three of us could be a little family."
"I'm guessing it didn't turn out like that." Luca wrapped his arm around Andrei, who was caught between coughing and crying. Occasionally, he would dribble blood too.
"Nope," the boy finally sobbed. He took a deep breath before continuing; "I think Alin kissed Uncle Tsvetan or something, and the other got scared. He'd been taught that boys can't kiss boys, so ran into the room where everyone was and started shouting that my brother was wrong and a freak and called him all sorts of rude words I'm not allowed to say. So everyone kicked us out. Well, they kicked Alin out, but we always stick together, see?"
"So where did you go?"
"Here and there," Andrei shrugged, "Alin didn't have a job then, so we couldn't really afford to stay anywhere, and all our friends were back in that house. Sometimes we'd sleep under bridges or in doorways or tunnels. Anywhere we could find a bit of shelter really. A few times we'd sneak into warehouses or building sites and make a little camp for the two of us. It was always warmer then."
"What did you do for food?"
"I don't really know," Andrei admitted, "sometimes Al would go out begging, but I was never allowed to join him. He said someone would see I had nowhere to go and take me away and I'd never see him again. That scared me. He never got far with the begging, and couldn't find a job, but always seemed to have a bit of money, just enough to get our next dinner. I don't know how, but sometimes…" He broke off.
"I you don't want to say-"
"I want to tell you everything. You're the first person to listen and I need to tell someone."
"Right. Go ahead." Luca still hugged him tightly. It felt weird, protecting a younger person. He was the third child in his family, thus was used to being pampered and mollycoddled- and pushed around- by his older siblings. This was new, and it wasn't a bad feeling.
"Well, sometimes, Al would come home with strangers at night, and he'd tell me to go to bed, hide under my blankets, cover my ears and sing til I fell asleep. It didn't stop me from hearing strange noises. Like Alin was in pain or something. The first few times, I wanted to jump up and save Al from the other people, but I was scared. And I had to do as I was told too, right? But the next morning, Al would wake me up and he'd have more money and he'd always say 'breakfast is on me, squirt' and everything was fine! Sometimes it happened and he didn't have money though, but he'd have bruises and stuff, like someone had beaten him up and I'd feel really bad, cause someone had hurt Al while I was hiding and covering my ears, but he said I must never open my eyes when other people were here."
"Oh God…" Luca knew exactly what Andrei's brother had been forced to do to feed his only family, but wasn't going to say anything. The child had suffered enough.
"Then Al got sick. He kept coughing and was so tired and ill. I'd touch his forehead and he'd be burning, and he was always sore, but tried not to let me see. And when he coughed there was blood. Every night we'd curl up together, like always, and hide under our blankets and cry. He stopped inviting people over, so at least he didn't hurt, from them."
Luca gave Andrei's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, "And then?"
"One morning I woke up, crawled out of my blankets, shook my brother awake, and he didn't wake up. I tried again, and again, but he just kept sleeping. I screamed and cried, but I got nothing. I thought he was just tired from all the coughing, so I decided to earn money for us and went out begging. We were staying in an old abandoned house, so no one would disturb him whilst I was away. I was gone all day, but when I came back he'd gone a funny colour, and still didn't wake up. It was a few years ago, so I didn't really understand what was going on, and just curled up next to him to sleep. When I woke up he was all stiff and cold, and I still didn't know what was going on, though now that I think of it, I just didn't want to accept what had happened. I just stayed beside him for weeks, only moving to try and find money or food, but then he started smelling really bad, and swelling up and rotting away. Plus, the rats kept coming. I had to chase them away from my brother all the time or they'd try and eat him. When I was asleep they'd sneak up and start nibbling away, at both of us. They tried to eat my toes and fingers too. And then there were the flies. Alin looked really gross and I got so scared, because that wasn't my big brother any more! So I left him. He wasn't waking up anyway."
"How did you manage on your own?" asked Luca, trying not to gag though he couldn't stop himself from turning slightly green.
"Alin taught me a few things;" Andrei shrugged, "like how to take someone's wallet from their pocket when they weren't looking or to steal food from shops. Sometimes I'd take stuff from bins, but that made my tummy hurt, so I'd only do that if I was desperate. I'd just walk from place to place, still had nowhere to go. Then my shoes fell apart a few months ago, which wasn't so bad in summer, but now it's snowy and cold and they always feel like they're gonna fall off."
"Well it's a miracle you survived this long," Luca commented.
"Yeah, funny that…" Andrei coughed again, not bothering to wipe the trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth, "what time is it now?"
"Five minutes to twelve."
"So close," Andrei sighed, resting his head on Luca's shoulder, "I want to see the New Year so badly…"
"And you will!" cried Luca, "come on! We can get you to a hospital and they'll fix you up!"
"I can't walk."
"I'll carry you!"
"You know you can't."
"But I have to try. You could stay with me at my house, if you don't mind the fighting! Me and my brother and sister would look after you and keep you safe and we'll get you new shoes!" He slowly leaned over and kissed the top of Andrei's forehead, stroking his cheeks and wiping the tears from the kid's eyes, though he was being blinded by tears of his own. The child's skin was hot to touch, like his brother's had apparently been.
"I'd like that," Andrei whispered, "maybe that's what's waiting for me in heaven. A family and new shoes and my big brother. When I think of that, I don't feel so scared about dying."
"You're not dying!"
Andrei coughed again, as if to prove a point; "I hurt everywhere. I'm cold and starving and weak. I won't see the new year."
"It's in four minutes!" protested Luca.
"That's nice," Andrei smiled, "thank you, for listening to my story. Nobody's ever listened to me since Alin fell asleep. Now I've talked about my life, it's time for me to sleep too."
"But I don't want you to," Luca held him close.
"Spoiled rich brat," Andrei muttered, "can't always get what you want."
"Then I need you to live!" cried Luca, "someone will find us and call an ambulance! Then you can get better! Heaven can wait; you're only nine for God's sake!"
"Goodnight, spoiled rich brat," Andrei closed his eyes, still breathing, though it was shallow now.
"Yes, just rest until help comes," Luca wouldn't believe it. There was no way a child this young would be allowed to die out here in this day and age! It was impossible! Someone would save them in time; Andrei would get to hospital; and they would all be okay. Then Luca wouldn't feel so frustratingly useless.
But Andrei slept on.
Even when Luca nudged him, whispering that it was one minute until midnight, he didn't move. When Luca counted down from ten, refusing to believe he was the only one speaking, Andrei didn't open his eyes.
A minute of the next year passed, and Luca accepted that his friend was dead.
Then it all came crashing down, and he began to wail and scream and cry, clutching the tiny body next to him and sobbing apologies into his dark hair until he could no longer tell how much time had passed.
When he'd calmed down significantly, Luca pulled out his diary and a pencil from his bag, and began writing down the fuzzy and incomplete life story of a child he didn't even know the surname of. A child with only nine years behind him, who had almost died alone and forgotten. He wrote through the numbness in his hands and his blurry, watery eyes. He wrote down every detail Andrei had told him, every little thing about the child that he knew. He had to remember everything, since there was no one else left to remember. He couldn't let such a sweet little boy be forgotten like that.
When he couldn't write any more, Luca put his pencil down, stuffed the two items into his bag, and sat there, unsure of what to do. He wanted to go home, but didn't want to leave Andrei. He didn't want to wait for the boy to rot away though.
He heard his name being called from down the street, and slowly stood up. He recognised the voice as belonging to Sadik, his brother's boyfriend. They'd realised he was missing then.
He leaned down to give Andrei one last kiss on the forehead, whispered a farewell, and took off in the direction of Sadik's voice. The police would find the body; they'd know what to do, unlike Luca. They wouldn't know him though, so Luca quickly jotted down 'My name is Andrei' in his diary and tore out the page, tucking the scrap of paper into the child's cold hand. There, now he could be buried with his name at least.
He started running towards Sadik, waving wildly and trying not to slip over. His socks were absolutely soaked now, but he didn't care about his freezing feet. If Andrei was forced to do it, then Luca could just well do it too. Even if Andrei didn't get new shoes in heaven, he'd have a pair on earth. Shame they arrived too late to do any real good…
"There you are, little man!" boomed Sadik, catching sight of the teen running at him, "where the hell were you? Your family's been worried sick! Jan called me in tears a few hours ago, saying you'd run away."
"Everyone was fighting," Luca mumbled, "I wanted to get away from it."
"Well they've stopped now, cause you went missing. Even your mother's starting to come to terms with the whole Lizzie thing, but slowly." Sadik ran his fingers through his hair, "you really gave her a good scare. Guess she's starting to put things in perspective. I still won't bother introducing myself just yet," he winked at that, "that can be our secret. Now, shall we get you home? Your siblings are waiting to give you a big hug."
"Yes please," Luca grinned.
"Where the hell are your shoes?" asked Sadik, once they'd started walking.
"Lost them."
"You must be freezing!"
"A bit…"
"Want me to carry you?"
Luca shook his head, "I'll be fine. Oh, and Sadik?"
"Yeah, kid?"
"Happy New Year."
