{ a/n: Ello! This is my first fanfiction on this site and hopefully I'd have made a good impression. My fanfiction is about Paper Mario, if they were in the ghetto. You can hate me, but hopefully I make most of you guys laugh your asses off. Credit to bahrmour, and everyone else on Twitter for helping me make this possible. Might contain offensive material. LEGGO }

Once upon a time, the world was fucking peaceful. If you would even call it that.

"Settle down, lil' crackas," A Lakitu said to a crowd of star kids, who were ready to ascend to Star Haven, but NOT QUITE. "Before y'all go up with the seven trap lords, it's time ya hear a little story." The star kids gathered around him in interest, hoping the tale concerned the background of this mystical Haven. "I'ma tell you the story of Trap Lords and the thing they've cared for since the Dawn of the Thugs began. – The Trap Rod." The Lakitu floated into the sanctuary, the Trap Lords surrounding them as the kids followed in delight. "The Trap Lords are always guardin' it, peepin' over it nicely. Veeery nicely... And then...-"

Just as the Lakitu was getting to the good part, a Magikoopa had flown into the sanctuary, laughing her laugh. "Ayo... bruh.. Who's the thot?" The Lakitu asked YOUNG CHILDREN, AS IF THEY HAD A CLUE WHAT A THOT WAS. "You think you the shit, you goat-bibbed, wurmple-licker..." Glared Kammy Koopa, said Magikoopa who had a remarkably 'thotty' appearance. "MAKE WAY FOR YA NEW TRAP KING, BOWSER!"

"TIME TO FUCK UP THE ITALIAN NIGGA!" Bowser flew into the scene on his pimpin' airship. 'Fuck the Police' was on full blast, which was Kammy's cue to use magic to temporarily intoxicate the Seven Trap Lords with an acid-inducing spell. They all got high and felt like they were whisked away to another dimension, as Bowser took ahold of the Trap Rod. While they were still deep in the trance, Bowser used the magic of the rod to turn them all into trap cards.

"THE FUCK IS WRONG WITCHU?!" The Lakitu exclaimed beyond the crowd of kids. Back in his home land, the Lakitu was usually the one to scream "WORLD STAR" in his group of friends. So you know when the guy who screams "WORLD STAR" is freaked out, there's a problem.

As Bowser and Kammy made a break for it, the Lakitu dragged the kids away. One stayed though. He flew through and upward the Haven, in hopes to save the Seven Trap Lords, and maybe even become one of them.