AN: This is a small, un-edited, un-beta examined mini-series. This was done during lunchtime in my school library and was written to a) clear my head so that I can go back to other fics that have nothing to do with KOTOR, b) to avoid doing my Art assignment, and c) to get rid of a plot that was rolling around my brain for the last couple of weeks (and by that I mean since I watched the oh so weird movie 'Junior')

MONTH 1

"This is your fault."

"My fault? How is it my fault?"

"As I recall, you kissed me."

"After you put your arm around my shoulder."

"After you snuggled up to me."

"After you lowered the temperature! I was freezing in there!"

"You were whining about how warm you were getting!"

"Well, you were the one who suggested we pop open the booze!"

"Hey, you were the one who decided to drink enough to floor at least three normal humans."

"After you coerced me into playing high stakes pazaak!"

"Yeah, well- Oi! That was you!"

"Well yes it was but I'd rather blame you!"

"Whatever makes you happy, sweetness!"

Mical sighed and rubbed his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. The medic had kindly allowed him to conduct the examination of his master, the re-occurring bouts of nausea and the violent mood swings causing each member of the now slightly smaller Ebon Hawk crew alarm. After the Malachor incident, the re-building of the order had begun to take place on Telos, the restoration efforts on particular parts of the formerly near-dead planet stable enough for colonisation to start in sections.

The newly built academy was starting to fill with masters and padawans that had come out of hiding, including Master Ocra, Master Damor, and Knight Bastila, all of which were assisting in contacting any Jedi that remained in hiding. The Exile, Ana Jassen, was now heading the council, much to the disapproval of many who still considered her to be an outcast, and Knights had been sent to the farthest regions of the Rim, in search for the still missing Revan.

But they currently had larger problems to face than the Prodigal Knight's abandonment of the Republic. Each morning the dormitory section echoed with the sounds of retching and cursing as Ana would rush to the 'fresher, the days filled with increasingly straining fits of jealousy, rage and despair as she seemingly lost control of her emotions at inconvenient moments.

Mira and Bao-Dur had attempted to coax her into seeing the exclaves healer, Jolee, but she had out-right refused each time. It had only been at Atton's insistence- after she had hurled a chair at him when he had suggested that she take a break from the relentless efforts she had been putting in to build the order- had she listened to reason, and allowed her former pilot to escort her to the small med bay, reluctantly asking Mical to examine her to find the cause of her queasiness and tantrums.

It been all too apparent to the young medic for some time now what ailed her. If one could call it an ailment, but he had been discreet enough not to reveal his suspicions until she asked for his help. He had asked rather forcefully for Atton to remain when he had escorted the still slightly enraged Master to the small sickbay, his instincts warning him of the possibility that the scoundrel was involved. All it had required was a simple blood test to confirm his shaky diagnosis.

He had been almost frightened to tell her what was going on, but her summoned his courage, and reminded himself of his obligation as a doctor to tell her what was wrong. She had not taken it well when he had carefully shown her the results of her test, downloaded onto the smallest data pad they had, lest she did decide that rage was the best outlet whatever she threw at him was small and least likely to cause damage to his cranium.

However, it wasn't rage that fuelled her reaction; it was confusion that riddled her face as she read the small paragraph on the tiny screen- Diagnosis- Pregnant. Fetus at 1st stage of development. Time remaining until birth- 7 months, 3 weeks.

The first to break the silence at the news had been Atton, who had been hovering over her with a slowly whitening face, abruptly asking, "So why am I here? You aren't you assuming I'm the dad, are you?"

Mical cleared his throat slightly, and straightened. Ana was still motionless, staring at her feet as the news sank in. "Well, according to my tests, the child is indeed human. Iridonians have a completely different genetic structure, so that rules out Bao-Dur as a possible father. I have not had any kind of intimate relationship with her- she is my master, it would not be proper. And Mandalore is the life mate of Knight Juhani. His culture forbids any sort of intimate relationship with another once two people are wed, like many other cultures, or the clan will cast them out, and they will no longer be Mandalorian."

"So? She could have had an 'Intimate Relationship'," Atton said the last words scathingly, and Mical rolled his eyes slightly. "With someone here. Why does everyone always point the finger at little old me?"

"Because," Mical said through gritted teeth, finally allowing his frustration show through his usually calm exterior, "Five weeks ago we were still in hyperspace, on route to Telos."

"Oh." the pilot said quietly, a slightly guilty look stealing across his face as he remembered one night in particular on that journey, the two of them nestled in the cockpit of the Hawk- the best night, his most precious memory surfacing from underneath the pile of lust and anger he had buried it in. He glanced across at Ana , who had a similar look of understanding and shame on her face. Shame that she had violated her vows as a Jedi, most likely, Mical thought.

Or perhaps it was simply that something private between two close friends had now become embarrassingly public.

Silence again, until Mical broke it with his soft, now gentle tones. "If it is an unwanted pregnancy, we can of course remove the child. But we must do it quickly, before the end of the fourth month."

"Why would that be? I remember when I was a kid my mum getting an abortion when she was eight months pregnant. Why can't we wait for a bit to decide if we want to keep the squirming little bag of flesh or not?" Atton asked, slipping his fingers around the small hand of the still silent woman next to him.

"You do not understand, it is... different when a Jedi becomes an expectant mother. The child and mother develop a complex Force Bond that cannot be severed until the child is born If we wait for more than a few weeks into the pregnancy, the bond will have become to strong, and both mother and child will die if we try anything that will interfere with the natural birthing process." He reached out and touched Ana's shoulder lightly, and her eyes flew up to meet his kindly blue gaze. "I can prepare for the procedure now, if you like. We can do it today."

"No." Both said in unison. They had evidently been discussing it through their rather potent Force Bond while Mical had been explaining the circumstances and options on offer. It was Atton that answered the question so clearly etched on the young doctor's face. "We may not be ideal parents, hell, I'm the last person alive anyone would want to raise their kid, but... it seems wrong, ya know? To just get rid of it because it was, you know, sort of an accident. Besides, wouldn't want to spit on your idealistic version of the universe, all sunshine and pink gizka's and happy families..."

He cleared his throat, ignoring the uncharacteristic glare the younger man threw at him, and went on, "And sure, the Masters around here will go nuts over it and try and get her to ditch it after it's born, but it's still ours, right?"

Mical's frown morphed into a smile before their eyes- he evidently hadn't expected such a response from a man that was clearly an over-grown child himself at times. For all he knew, this could be the beginning of a whole new life for the self-confessed womanizer. The two of them may even develop a real romantic relationship, a truly deep affection and love for the other, rather than a deep friendship spawned from a one night stand. This child could, for them, be more than an unexpected bump- they may be able to connect on a level neither of them had been able to before.

But then she said it. Five fatal words that spelt doom for the possible pairing.

"This is all your fault."

That was an hour ago. The two of them were still arguing, and Mical, out of resignation rather than a desire not to be caught in the middle, retreated to an adjacent room, listening to the two Jedi accuse and blame each other for what had transpired five weeks previous on the Ebon Hawk.

He was sorely tempted to warn Atton that as temperamental as Ana had been over the last few weeks was nothing to how she was going to act in the upcoming months, and it was wise not to upset someone in her condition, or state of mind. After all, after years of separating themselves from emotions, the hormonal imbalance that went hand-in-hand with pregnancy tended to interfere with the calm serenity a Jedi was supposed to center themselves around.

But that oh so kind impulse died when he heard the rather nasty insult the pilot threw his beloved Master's way, and he swallowed the urge to offer the man any compassionate advice what-so-ever. If that was how childish Atton was going to behave towards the woman who was now the mother of his child- his daughter, though Mical had decided to allow them to figure that out on their own, in their own time- then Mical was reluctant to do anything to tip the events of the next period of time in his favor.

He heard something smash, and Atton curse, undoubtedly failing to dodge whatever it had been Ana had just thrown at him, and the medic sighed deeply. This was going to be a rough seven months.

MONTH 3

"I never wanted kids." Atton said abruptly one afternoon, as they sat together in her small quarters after a particularly long- and dull- council session. He had fallen into the habit of walking her to her quarters every afternoon, sitting next to her on her couch in the living area and staring at his shoes for hours on end; that is, until the sun began to set and he went back to his own room, with the look of someone who clearly wanted to say something important but didn't quite know how to put into words.

The hours of silence had been unnerving in the first few days, but Ana had come to admit that it was pleasant to have someone next to her while she rested quietly, read reports or arranged meetings and lessons, someone who would- in incredibly rare moments of sincere sweetness- fix her a warm drink or something to eat, though she was cynical enough to believe it was more out of concern for what a lack of nourishment may do to the baby, rather then to her.

He was fingering a loose thread that was dangling down along the side arm of her sofa, and she sat up a touch more, watching as his eyes became downcast, guilt swiftly hidden. He eventually tilted his head up and turned to meet her gaze, and she swallowed, her arms subconsciously going around her belly. It was still relatively flat, the solid muscle slowly turning to fat as the amount of physical activity she did decreased every day. The tiny mound that was the only evidence of her pregnancy was still being hidden by her billowing Jedi robes, but Mical, bless him, had revealed the upcoming birth of her child to the council several days ago on her behalf, to save her from questions and humiliation.

There had been quite the uproar, of course, many of the Masters insisting that she and Atton give up the child when it was born, or at least have it raised within the Order. Both had flatly refused each option. The rest of the council, made up of former friends from when Ana was a padawan and members of the Ebon Hawk crew, had told those who opposed to the idea of a Jedi having a child that they, as well as the expectant parents, would leave the order if the child was not to be raised as it's mother and father desired. Because of the dwindling numbers, the influence that Ana had over the Republic and many of it's officials, and the fact that both the Exile and Atton were prominent members of the small council, they had quietly agreed not to interfere, if only to avoid a public scene- the reputation of the order was fragile enough as it was.

That had been four weeks ago, and Atton had clearly wanted to speak about how their baby would be brought up ever since. But now that he was prepared to lay everything on the table, she was unsure that she wanted him to continue.

"I mean..." he shifted to face her completely, and she squirmed underneath his penetrating gaze- she had never seen him look so serious. "I never liked them, mainly 'cause they don't seem to like me. I leave them alone, they leave me alone- you know the deal. And, you know I didn't have a great childhood myself- my dad was hardly there, and my mum... don't get me started on my issues with my mother."

She nodded once, urging him to continue. "My dad was never around. His job kept him away all the time, but when he was around, he was great. He managed to keep my mother calm and off the drugs, off the booze, hell, he even stopped her from beating the crap out of us.

"The thing was, the moment he left, she'd fall back into the same pattern again." He lifted his arm and shook back the sleeve of his burgundy robes, presenting her with a clear view of his wrist. A garish, gruesome looking scar, bright pink and strangely fresh looking, ran the course of his middle finger, up to disappear underneath his sleeve. "She had a killer aim when it game to glass bottles..."

Small creases formed on her otherwise wrinkle free forehead as she frowned at the horrible mark. "I don't get it... why are you telling me all of this?" Ana asked, and he reached and clasped her hand gently. He still looked guilty, still look so serious... "I don't want my kid to go through what I went through, ya know? Absent dad, parents not living together..."

"Atton, I still don't understand."

He withdrew the fingers that had been stroking her palm, and buried his head in this cupped hands. She stroked his back a little, awkwardly though, unsure what was wrong or what to do. He straightened a little, and as he did, a small tremor run through her suddenly.

She let out a small gasp, and clutched her stomach. It hadn't been pain, not at all, emotional or otherwise, in fact, it had been the sudden, wonderful feeling of contentment and peace. It had been an echo, through the Force, through a newly formed bond she hadn't even realized was there.

He had noticed the shock and fear that flickered over her face for a moment and grasped hold of her hand again, a sudden urgency on his handsome features. "Are you alright, Sunshine? You need a medic or something? I can go get-"

"No, it's fine. I'm fine."

"What happened? And tell me the truth, you can't use the 'it was kicking me' excuse yet- as far as I know, the thing doesn't even have feet right now."

"Please stop referring to our baby as a 'thing'." Ana said in a tired voice. "It implies you think of it as some kind of monster."

He snorted just a little, and she sighed, trying and failing to suppress the smile tugging at the corners of her lips. He knew she was simply trying to avoid the question- it was a tactic he used himself too many times for her liking. She softened as the wonderful look of concern on his face refused to budge, and reached out to grab at his hand. She pulled his arm over, letting his warm fingers settle on her belly. He looked slightly perplexed.

"I could feel the baby's emotions through the force bond." She said gently, and his eyes widened slightly. She knew he was thinking the same thing as she; the child was too young to have developed any kind of bond with its mother- it was practically unheard of.

"Just another side effect from the deep bonding I do with people." Ana said mournfully. "I was hoping our child wouldn't be affected, that I wouldn't have a bond with it as strong as ones I had with Revan, or Kreia, but, ah... since when is the Force kind to me?"

She shifted closer to him, and closed her eyes. It was a cruder form of meditation, for all she was doing was reaching inside her own presence and finding the tiny, pale gold glowing string that was her baby's connection with her. She pulled Atton in with her, and she heard him take a sharp inhalation in surprise and wonder. They could almost hear the teeny heart that was beginning to beat, getting stronger by the day.

But it was also frightening, to know that the baby was already so linked to its mother. They were both told by Mical just days ago that if something went wrong during the birth on Ana's end, any force bond between the two may cause complications in the child. If the link was already so firmly strung between them... there was no telling how the baby's feeble body would react if Ana hemorrhaged or if she had a bad reaction to any drugs they put her on to ease the pain.

"Let's not focus on that now." He whispered, as her thoughts reflected in her eyes, and he closed his own. She snuggled closer to Atton, resting her head on his broad chest and making a small contented sound in the back of her throat. He smiled into her hair, hands wrapped around her waist to rest on her ever growing belly.

They were quiet for a few moments, before he heard her deep yawn. It seemed she was getting comfortable, and the last few weeks she had not slept properly. The knowledge that she would be awake within three hours of falling asleep each night to let everything she had eaten over the last few years of her life shoot out of her mouth was starting to induce insomnia.

"Did you know that..." she trailed off as the words flowing out of her mouth ended in yet another yawn coming from deep in her throat. He chuckled and gave her a light squeeze. "I used to do a lot of studying with Atris when I was a girl, and remember being fascinated with stories of how Jedi left the order... to pursue relationships, or to have children, or simply because they grew tired of the Jedi ways."

She let loose another contented yawn, and he groped around beneath him to tug the soft crochet blanket that he had been sitting on out from underneath his thighs. He draped it over them both carefully, tucking it in the sides to enclose as much warmth as possible in- it was nearing the first real Telosian winter since the bombing of the planet, and the temperature was staring to drop rapidly.

"I remember one passage, about a Jedi, Mistress Neshina Sola, who had a baby against the will of the council several decades ago, a baby that would actually grow up to be the father of Ulic Kel Droma and his brother. Even now, after all these years, I can still remember what she said about her baby when it was still growing in the womb... 'It was the feeling of utter serenity, of the clean, warm peacefulness that the Jedi have been searching for their entire lives. It was the utmost contentment, and the feeling of being truly wonderfully safe.'"

Mistress Sola had been correct; the waves of calm ebbing and flowing around her were lulling her to sleep like a lullaby.

"Yeah... I can feel it..." he breathed, the wondrous gentleness that his baby was immersed in eclipsed him completely.

"Someone said after Mistress Sola wrote that passage that the Force, and the light side was most prominent in a person when they were inside their mother. And that was truly what the Jedi was looking for in the Force- the contentment they had whilst in the womb.

"That is why they let her keep her baby in the end, because of the lack of passion, the harmony that she and her son had, was what any Jedi will have wanted. They kept it quiet, of course..." her voice went from sleepy and content to slightly bitter in a heartbeat, "But Neshina never quite forgot just what she experienced while she was with child.

"The council even went so far as to alter their policy on Jedi pregnancy- they rescinded the decision after Ulic fell to the Dark Side, of course, blaming it on their allowance on letting Jedi become parents rather than facing responsibility..."

He ran his hand over the growing mound of her tummy, and began to breathe deeply, ignoring the sudden bitter irritation she had provoked. There had only been one other time in his life when he had come close to feeling the Force like this, when he had felt the tranquility he was being swept away in now- the few moments before the Jedi woman who had saved him had died- and he wanted to savor it while it lasted.

This was infinitely more powerful then what he had felt then, though, swirling around him and warming him to his core. It was love, almost, directed at him by his still developing baby. The same love that he had felt for the Jedi woman who had told him to run for Nar Shaddaa because she didn't want him to die. The same way he loved Ana. It was a willingness to do anything for another person, to ensure their happiness and safety, and he knew at that moment he was too far gone to fight it any longer. This was his child. He couldn't deny it, or fight it, and it wasn't about taking on the enormous responsibility just because he felt he had to, but because he wanted to.

"So what were you saying before?" she inquired, shifting so that his muscled chest was made into a makeshift pillow. He cleared his throat as her soft waves of hair began to tickle his neck and nose.

"I was just saying... me and my siblings had a rough time when we were younger, and I'm the last person to have wanted kids... mainly because I thought I was going to be as bad as my parents.

"But... I'm not really worried anymore." It was the truth, he really wasn't, especially now he had managed to touch just a bit of what he was going to feel when the baby was born. "I fact, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind, you know, just so we can share some responsibility, and well, I damn sure want to be with the kid and all..."

He sighed a little. "And I really want my girl to get to know me, and I don't want to be one of those dad's who only see their kid when it's convenient for them. I'm in it for the long haul, angel. So I was just wondering if you'd... if you wanted to live with me." He finished in a rush. She was still and silent, and, worried that he had said something to offend or hurt her, hastily tried to amend.

"Just until the baby's born, if you want. I'm not asking for any major commitment here if you don't want there to be one! I'm not implying you can't do it on your own, but what if something happens and you need to get a medic quickly and can't reach a comm. Unit, or can't even stand? Or if you go into labour in the middle of the night?"

She still didn't respond, so he plowed on, "And admit it- you've liked hanging with over the last couple of weeks. I'm really not such a bad guy to have around."

Her silence was beginning to worry him, and he tilted her head up this a gentle hand to see her face- to find her eyes closed, her red mouth forming a slack line. Apparently not hearing a word he'd said, either. He grinned a little, and settled her back down on his chest.

There was some sleepy shifting as she tried to find a more comfortable position, and she finally stilled, face buried in the crook of his neck and arms wrapped around his neck. A tiny grunting snore escaped her lips, and he bit back the chuckle welling up deep inside his chest- it was odd someone so beautiful and sweet could make noises like an eighty year old with lung problems.

And the sheer enormity of it all hit him quickly- he really was going to be a father. It was an almost frightening, if not slightly humorous- he could stand in front of bounty hunters twice his size without breaking a sweat, defeated a Sith Lord who's favorite pastime was putting himself back together after a brawl, and had managed to sleep with a chaotic, unpredictable Jedi woman without her wearing stun cuffs, but he was quaking in his drexl leather boots at the thought of becoming a father.

So he did the only thing he could do- besides get on a transport and, true to form, desert both his unborn baby and the woman nestled again his chest. He snuggled into the corner of Ana's sofa and closed his eyes with her buried tightly in his arms, the incredible contentment that his child was projecting on to him soothing his fears and lulling him to sleep. This may actually work out okay...

Okaaaaay... done! Tell me what you think, m'kay? It's a pretty long story. And I don't like it much, but I hope I didn't bore you.