Till' Death comes…
9th grade-
First day of ninth grade and I'm very excited too, in a way. I walked into my homeroom class, entangling my hair, when I noticed him sitting by himself. I sat in the seat next to him, accompany my friend.
"Hey, Stan," I greeted.
He looked at me from the corner, grinning as he did, "Hey, Kenny. It's good to see that you're not dead." He chuckled. I looked away, feeling a slight blush. To me, Stan is the most beautiful boy in the world, but he knows me as a best friend.
I don't know why, but I'm ashamed.
10th grade-
I'm sitting home bored as usual. My mom drunk on the table and my dad is probably at some bar getting wasted. I was gonna start on my math homework when my phone ranged.
Stan...
I picked the phone up, hitting the enter button, "hey, Stan. What's up?"
"Kenny, can I come over?" Stan asked, a bit shyly.
"Uh, why? Is everything okay?"
A moment of silence before he spoke softly with tension in his voice, "my girlfriend and I just had a fight. I just need to be with someone else. So would it be alright, Kenny?" My heart almost skipped and I respond back.
"Yeah, you can come over."
I don't know why, but I'm ashamed.
Senior Prom-
Ever since 8th grade, Stan and I promised each other we would go to the prom together if we didn't find anyone else. Stan told me he broke up with his girlfriend, so I went with him. I met him near the doors entrance. Awing at the teen who was wearing his black tux. He notices me staring and smiled.
"You look great in that suit, Kenny." Stan complimented. I beamed back.
"Thanks dude, you too, look nice."
Stan gave me a simple hug, "I'm glad tat we could do this, Ken."
"Yeah," I then looked down. I love him so much and no matter what, but how I could I tell him that I love him, when he knows me as a bestfriend? I can't really do that.
I don't know why, but I'm ashamed.
Years later-
Now I'm at his funeral. Friends and Family are crying over his death. Stan had died in a car accident, a drunken truck driver crashed into him at a stop light. I wonder why that could have been me instead of him.
"Kenny."
I turned to the voice, it was Stan's mother, Sharon, "yes, Mrs. Marsh?"
"Here, I found this in Stan's room one day and the cover had your name." She handed me the book and left before I could ask anything. I never did own a red book or anything, but why my name? I opened the book to actually find it was Stan's diary. Dedicated to me. Only a few pages were written on it.
I took a double thought, and then read what the red diary contained:
Today is the first day of my ninth grade. The most handsome boy is sitting next to me. I loved him ever since I knew myself.
By making things up about a girlfriend, I went to his house for a sleep over, mind his place.
I even went to prom with him. If he had told me he loved me, the whole world would be mine, but he never did.
So I didn't say anything…
I close the red book, not saying anything. I dropped down to my knees, next to Stan's grave. Tears we're starting to roll down my face.
I, now I regret everything. I'm ashamed of my self.
"I'm sorry, Stan."
