Title: When It Rains It Pours
Author: Robin Gills
Pairing: Hawkeye/BJ
Rating: G-ish
Disclaimer: These hot boys aren't mine, I'm not making any money off this.
Archive: Anywhere, just let me know.
Feedback: Sure
Spoilers: Season 10-11
Word Count: 1,275
Beta: Lisa
Summary: Hawkeye confesses. Intended to be a 10-min challenge drabble but it ragged into an all out fic.
Hawkeye sat on his cot just staring at the ceiling. Not talking just staring. His brow was furrowed slightly in concentration as he stared up at the top of the tent. It was a cold day in hell when Hawkeye stopped talking. BJ watched over his friend from his own cot. He was a bit concerned. He thought Hawkeye's outburst about wanting to see color, see red that wasn't blood and then the resulting party afterwards had helped the man's general mood. Perhaps he had been wrong.
BJ's thoughts were intruded when Hawkeye shifted from his back to his side. He propped his head on his hand and faced his friend. BJ turned his full attention on Hawkeye expecting the older man to start to spill all the words he'd kept trapped for the last hour. His mouth opened but his jaw just hung off his head. BJ wasn't regaled with Hawkeye's inner thoughts or his plots for a fabulous drawn-out prank. Hawkeye snapped his jaw back up into his head and rolled over so he lay on his other side facing the outer wall. BJ was reminded of that thing his mother use to say about looking like a cod fish.
BJ returned to the book he'd read two dozen times. He'd let Hawk stew a little more because he knew Hawk couldn't last very long without spilling something. He'd sit out the dry spell because there was always the calm before the storm.
It turned out the calm didn't last much longer as strong winds morphed from the gentle breeze, quickly blowing in black clouds. Hawkeye rolled over again and sat up facing him. BJ didn't lift his head this time and Hawkeye split the heavy rain clouds in half letting it pour. BJ was left in the storm without an umbrella.
"Beej…" Hawkeye paused but picked up his sentence again and took off without regard to the downpour he would unleash on his friend. "I have a confession to make. That time all your underwear went missing, I took them. That time your socks all had the toes cut off it was Charles but it was my idea first. When your small picture of your family went missing I stole it. You have five and I didn't think you'd mind missing one. I was the one that bleached your mustache. I was the one that spilled coffee on your Nineteen Eighty-Four book. I was the one that spilled gin on you third pair of pants, that's why they smelled. And I was the one that hid your shoes for two days and they came back with whiteout saying 'Stinky B, Stinky J'. " Hawkeye finished winded. He had been staring in the general area of BJs' chest as he spoke but after he finished he looked up to BJ's face. But he dropped his head to look at the floor.
BJ just kind of sat on his cot metaphorically soaking wet and rather stunned as if he'd been slapped by a picture of Charles with a full head of hair. It took him a few minutes to peace together everything Hawkeye said. The rush of words had pierced the silence with startling harshness. BJ's own words came to him finally.
His lips twisted upwards in a lopsided smile but still showed teeth. "Confession?"
"You're not mad?" Hawkeye asked surprised as he looked up quickly.
"No. I'm a bit mad, but most of that stuff happened a while ago and I've mostly forgotten about them or resided to the fact that I live in a college dorm half the time. But thanks for reminding me about bleaching my mustache. I've yet to get you back on that one," BJ said with his teeth showing in a full smile this time. He got up out of his damp cot, sat his book down, and crossed the space between them. He sat close to Hawkeye on the small cot. "I guess the only thing I don't understand is why you felt you needed to tell me all this, guilty conscious getting the better of you?" He turned his head to look at his friend who had only stared at the floor when BJ drew near.
Hawkeye took a slow breath and spoke again "Well I guess that was only half of my confession." He glanced quickly to his side over at BJ, who thought it odd that Hawkeye wasn't really inclined to look at him, either in embarrassment or fear. He doubted fear but embarrassment didn't seem likely either.
"I wanted to tell you everything, because I feel you ought to know something about me. Something I haven't told anyone. I only recently came into this knowledge about myself but I've come to terms with it. I felt I had to tell you all those petty things, so there'd be no secrets between you and me. At least one way, and I don't need to know yours. It's just the way I had to go about it. I needed you to know everything, make it easier maybe." Hawkeye seemed to be rambling a bit at this point and BJ was getting a little confused. What could be so big that had caused Hawkeye to act so unHawk-like.
"What is it?" BJ asked softly stopping Hawkeye's flow.
Hawkeye just sat and stared at the dirty floor. He didn't speak. BJ grew a bit concerned. No one had died today in OR, none of the patients had complications, they hadn't been shelled in months. Everything seemed to be going fine, well as fine as one could be here in Korea. He nudged Hawkeye gently with his arm and spoke gently. "Hawk, is there something wrong? Something you need to tell me?"
Hawkeye took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I…"
When no more words came forth BJ was forced to assume Hawk had stalled again.
"Yes? You…" BJ prompted him.
Hawkeye took another breath and opened his eyes. He sat up so he wasn't hunched over and his forearms no longer rested on his thighs. He turned so that he would be facing BJ. "I like you."
He said it straight to BJ's chin. BJ smiled a little. "I like you too Hawk."
"No," Hawk said and turned and hunched over again but thought better of it and resumed his earlier position. "I really like you." He stressed the word like in a way that BJ felt something stirring in his mind. Something he'd trapped and locked away in a box. He felt like he was digging up the key to that box.
When BJ didn't respond this time Hawkeye pushed forward still talking to BJ's chin. "I l-love you." Hawkeye finally spit out the words he had meant to say. BJ sat again just looking at Hawkeye, not with the Charles slapped look but with a different look. Hawkeye finally looked up to BJ's eyes for the first time during the whole conversation. BJ saw love in his eyes and it wasn't the plutonic kind. BJ felt like he'd not only dug up the key from the soggy earth but he had found the box as well and it had been opened.
BJ smiled with all his teeth. "Not the plutonic kind?"
Hawkeye unsure about BJ's reaction still gamely stared him down, standing his ground. Keeping his courage strong if needed to face a harmful blow. "No."
"Good." BJ said and his smile grew even bigger at Hawkeye's look of surprise. "I wouldn't have it any other way." Hawkeyes' mouth retreated to the gapping cod fish look and if it was possible BJs' smile grew.
