It was a loud, noisy afternoon in New York. Everyone was at work, or wherever they were supposed to be… except for the teenagers. They were throwing rocks at some elderly man's car, while at the same time, smoking a cigarette. Anyway, at the Central Park Zoo, Private was watching TV while sitting on a block of cement. His eyes were glued to the screen, and he seemed unaware of the massive amount of drool that was falling out of his mouth. Every once in a while, Private's leg would twitch, or he'd softly mumble something about how The Brick™ is having a sale and that it'll never happen again, but that's about the only movement he did.

Skipper waddled up to Private, looking a bit annoyed. "Private, you've been watching that box for two days now! What happened to staying on our toes if danger calls? It can happen any time, y'know". Private didn't respond to Skipper, as he was too distracted by his show. "Ugh", sighed Skipper as he hung his head in disgust. Suddenly, the television screen changed from a yellow sponge to big, bolded, red letters that read: "BREAKING NEWS!". "Huh?" questioned Private, snapping out of his zombie-like state.

"We interrupt this… uh… "Program" to bring you news that you need to know if you live in New York City", said the news anchor, whose hair was done in a sloppy, comb-over fashion.

"A bomb has been planted in New York's Central Park Zoo by a Canadian terrorist. The bomb's exact whereabouts are unknown, but the mayor has ordered an evacuation. This is not a drill. Also, it's been hinted by the terrorist that penguins-"

Skipper turned the TV off. "Private, it amazes me how you manage to stare at a screen for so long", said Skipper. "B-but, Skippa! That wasn't a-"

"AAAAAAAAIE!!"

A high-pitched scream was heard near the lemur habitat.

"Great Scott, men, let's move!", yelled Skipper as Kowalski and Rico immediately joined his side. However, Private was still sitting on his block of cement. "Let's move, Private!". "Hm? Oh, sorry, Skippa. I'm just… A little worried is all".