"What?"

"Huh?"

"Um…"

The reactions she gets from her small audience are virtually the same throughout. It's like she'd told them that the new, ordained, more efficient method of killing titans is driving their blades up the titans' assholes. Raised eyebrows, confused eyes and hanging mouths are on all the new initiates' faces- definitely amusing. Hanji approached them that morning at the Military dining hall, about a week after initiation, knowing well that her idea's one step short of ridiculous in their present circumstances. Still, just thinking about it makes her excited and lifts some of the pain and anger from losing Bean and Sawney.

And it's even better when Irvin actually agreed to it.

"Squad Leader Hanji," Armin says with confusion, "I'm sorry, but I don't think we heard you correctly. Did you say we're to participate in this thing you called 'The Titanic Games?"

"Yep!" she says happily with an enthusiastic nod, "We've got about a month before the 57th expedition starts and what's there better to do than productively killing some time before then?"

"Productively?" Reiner says, unconvinced. The word "game" doesn't seem to correlate with "productive" very well.

"How's fooling around gonna help us out there?" Connie pipes up from his seat farther down the table, "We should be training and going over plans for the next month instead, right?"

"Yeah, we don't have time for games," Eren adds with a hint of annoyance, clenching his fists atop the wooden table. He hardly shows any sort of aggression or irritation towards the titan-lover out of genuine respect, but for Hanji to come up to them in the middle of a quick breakfast to say they're to participate in a tournament of "games" really irks him.

"Oh, exactly," Hanji says, her smile widening as she leans in closer to the group of teens. Some of them lean backwards from her growing intensity, "These won't just be simple games, my children. Think of it as training… that's fun. You kids like to have fun right? I'll even get some of the veteran members to join in. It'll be great!"

She throws her head back and laughs.

"This woman's nuts in the head," Ymir leans down and whispers to Christa. Jean across from them overhears and inwardly agrees. There are much bigger things to be paid attention to, like the issue of somehow retaking Wall Maria and getting to Eren's basement.

"Good morning," someone approaching says. Everybody turns to see Petra and Levi already dressed in their uniforms ready to start the day. They're walking towards the initiates' table and they stop where Hanji stands on one end.

"Oi, the hell is this about, Hanji?" Levi asks in a monotone, "You're too damn loud even in the morning. All I did was leave Eren to you for ten minutes and you already won't stop yapping."

"Oh, Irvin didn't tell you yet, did he?" Hanji assumes, disregarding his last comment. She feels more excitement come over her as she sees another opportunity to explain her marvelous plan, "It was my idea, after all. We've got one month before the expedition so I thought why not have fun while doing some extra training? I know these kids have been through the basics and are initiated already and all that, but I've got some neat ideas for them to learn a few more tricks to survive out there."

Levi says nothing and only blinks, still looking as uninterested as ever.

"A team tournament with a series of games and tasks that'll involve everything that a worthy Soldier of the Survey Corps should be made of. Doesn't that sound fun? And I was just mentioning to the kids that I'd get some of the senior Scouts to participate, too."

Everyone is still wary and hesitant even if how she explains it now sounds better than before. Reiner and Berthold murmur to each other about how ridiculous it all sounds. Connie looks confused as Sasha only continues to stuff her mouth with bread. Ymir rolls her eyes and Christa sits with the same confusion as Connie. Eren and Armin exchange glances. Mikasa sits with the same stoic face as Levi.

"So, Petra, are you in?" Hanji asks, turning to the chestnut-haired woman beside her. Petra flinches from the sudden question and glances at Levi and the rest of the initiates sitting at the tables.

"Err…" Petra says but is then distracted by Hanji's proximity that was slowly closing in on her. Levi still says nothing.

"I'm sure the time will be of use," Petra lightly laughs nervously, "I'll do it."

Hanji's face halts inches away from hers.

"Great!" Hanji cheers, pulling back and throwing a fist up in the air. She next turns to the Corporal on the other side of her, hoping he'd join in as well. After all, things with the short Frenchman always end up being interesting in one way or another.

"You, Levi?"

"No," he bluntly says, his expression unchanging from his growing annoyance, "Like hell I'd want to."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll do your laundry next week."

"No, like hell I'd trust you with cleaning my clothes. You forget to take goddamn baths."

"Pretty please?"

"I said no."

"Plea-"

"No."

Hanji gives an exasperated sigh and put her hands on her hips, "You're as stubborn as you are an intense clean freak, Cap'n. You'll miss out on the fun. Even Commander Irvin's joining in; he promised me."

"Whatever, Shitty Glasses," Levi says, looking like he's about to walk away, "Nothing you can do or say will convince me to join your crappy games."

Before Hanji can say anything more, Mikasa suddenly stands up from her seat with Reiner's cup of coffee in hand. Then, everything seems to go in slow motion as everyone watches her reach forward and tilt the mug, black coffee spilling out and onto Levi's white cravat. The entire room is automatically dead silent at the sight, even ones of different branches of the Military sitting around them. No one moves and no one breathes. Someone drops a metal spoon and its clinking on the ground is the only sound to be heard. The air is now thick with tension.

"Ah," Petra breathes, her eyes wide in shock.

Hanji's expression is the same but then contorts into one of absolute amusement and she laughs hysterically, wrapping her arms around her stomach. Her chokes and sobbing are now the only sounds breaking through the heavy silence of the hall. Still, no one else dares to move or breathe. Eren and Armin stare at Mikasa's back, horrified that she'd just disrespected humanity's strongest soldier in the worst way possible.

"Fine," Levi finally says in a low, menacing growl. A shadow comes over his eyes as he gives the indifferent Mikasa one of the most frightening glares any of them has ever seen.

"This… is war."


So this is something I just wanted to do for fun HAHA. It's not going to like my other stories with a solid plot but this won't be without some structure either. I just wanted to have a little fun while I'm trying to update my other, more serious fics so please bear with me. A few notes about this though: (1) there'll be pairings, but the "story" won't solely revolve around them, (2) this is meant to be an action comedy so I'll try to be funny somehow... lol, (3) I'll be using active voice so it'll sound like a script for an episode.

Still, I'll treat this like any of the first chapters for a new fic. If this is something you'd like to read more of, please don't hesitate to leave a review, fav or alert! Whether I update/ delete this or not depends on the feedback I get. I know not much has happened yet, but I've got some ideas already laid out for the next chapters bwahahaha.

ALSO, there'll be teams of three for the Titanic Games SO I'd like suggestions as to who you guys want to be teamed up together for this. The rest of the members of the Levi's Special Operations Squad, Irvin, Mike, and any characters you'd like are options as well. HAPPY TEAM PICKING!

Anyway, thanks for reading! Until next time~