Celebrity Jeopardy: Newsies Style!
*Intro music starts playing while Alex Trebek is looking disgustedly at Christian Bale, Ele Keats, and Max Casella. He realizes the commercial's over and smiles a fake smile and starts. *
"Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. We've got quite a contest going on here; let's take a look at the scores.
"We've got Christian Bale in second place, with a score of negative 6500 dollars."
"Only on account of villainy!" he screamed.
"Great.Uh, Ele Keats is in first with a commanding score of zero."
Ele noticed someone said her name, realized everyone was looking at her, and fumbled with her buzzer and yelled, "Um.What is history?"
"We haven't started playing yet, you fool," Alex said, annoyed. "And finally, we have Max Casella with an incredible negative 88,000 dollars."
"Well, um, yes. I suppose I do," Max said.
"Anyway, better to all of you in the next round," Alex said sarcastically. "It's time for double jeopardy; let's take a look at the board. And the categories are: Current U.S. Presidents, Literature-, which is just a big word for books!" Alex explained to a confused-looking Ele. "The other categories are Therapists, Show and Tell, Household objects, and finally, one letter words.
"Anyway, Max, you're in third place, so the board is yours."
"Well, this is jeopardy, and seeing there are one, two, three, four, five six, ah, seven, seven different categories-''
"Right, Mr. Bale, why don't you pick?" Alex said quickly, trying to get through the first round.
"It looks like this is my lucky day- I'll take 'The Rapists' for two- hundred."
"That's 'Therapists,' Mr. Bale, not 'The Rapists.'
"Damn you, Trebek!" Christian screeched.
"Let's skip 'Therapists' and try 'Household Objects' for four hundred. And the answer is: You usually drink water out of it. Christian?"
"A leather glove."
"No. Ele Keats?"
"A toilet!"
"That is awful. Max Casella?"
"Um.."He said, looking around for a word.
"And you're an idiot. The answer was a glass," Trebek said, looking pitifully at the contestants. "Okay, pick again, Mr. Bale."
"Oh, I'll play you're little game, you thief," Christian said. "Let's try 'The Rapists' for twenty."
"How about 'Show and Tell' for six hundred. I'll just show you an object and you'll tell me what it is, ok?"
"It's a man!" Christian shouted stupidly.
"No, Mr. Bale, I am not the object. I haven't showed it to you yet. Here it is. Name this object. Ele Keats?"
"A Popsicle!" she cried.
"No. Max, name this object."
"Um.. One of those things. You know?"
"You idiots! It's a frigid' hammer!" Alex yelled.
"Now listen to me, you bastard, you wouldn't have known that if you didn't have that card in front of you!" Christian exclaimed. "Whatever. Let's move on to 'Current U.S. Presidents' for four hundred. And the answer is: he is the current U.S. President. He has gray hair, and you've probably seen him in the news. His first name is George. Mr. Bale, I know for a fact you had dinner with him recently. His last name is Bush. His name is George Bush. Please, someone just say, 'Who is George Bush?'" Alex pleaded.
There was a silence as the contestants stood there, thinking.
"Someone just say it! Anyone?"
Still no answer.
"And the show has reached a new low," Alex said looking pathetically at all three. "Alright let's just move on to Final Jeopardy. And the category is: Letters of the Alphabet. All you have to do is write down a letter. Any letter at all. For instance, an 'a' or a 'g.' There is no reason anyone should be writing this much," Alex said, looking at Ele and Max writing quickly on there boards. "Just write down a letter of the alphabet."
*The jeopardy music plays as our contestants write their answers down. *
"Okay," Alex said, after waiting for Ele and Max, "For the sake of tradition, let's take a look at the answers. Christian, you put: nothing. Good Lord, no wonder you didn't take half as long as the others," Alex said, shaking his head. "Ele Keats, let's see what you wrote. You drew a picture of an eye."
"Well, 'I' is a letter, isn't it?" she said, stupidly.
"Are you English or retarded?" he asked her. "Okay, let's go to Max. Your answer was the letter two."
"Ha, ha, ha, the letter two!" he laughed.
"No, two is a number, you idiot!" Alex yelled. "Well, as always, three perfectly good charities have been deprived of money here on Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm Alex Trebek, and the three of you should be ashamed of yourselves." He said walking out, shaking his head.
And that ends another exciting episode of Celebrity Jeopardy: Newsies Style! Please Review! Feedback is appreciated.
*Intro music starts playing while Alex Trebek is looking disgustedly at Christian Bale, Ele Keats, and Max Casella. He realizes the commercial's over and smiles a fake smile and starts. *
"Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. We've got quite a contest going on here; let's take a look at the scores.
"We've got Christian Bale in second place, with a score of negative 6500 dollars."
"Only on account of villainy!" he screamed.
"Great.Uh, Ele Keats is in first with a commanding score of zero."
Ele noticed someone said her name, realized everyone was looking at her, and fumbled with her buzzer and yelled, "Um.What is history?"
"We haven't started playing yet, you fool," Alex said, annoyed. "And finally, we have Max Casella with an incredible negative 88,000 dollars."
"Well, um, yes. I suppose I do," Max said.
"Anyway, better to all of you in the next round," Alex said sarcastically. "It's time for double jeopardy; let's take a look at the board. And the categories are: Current U.S. Presidents, Literature-, which is just a big word for books!" Alex explained to a confused-looking Ele. "The other categories are Therapists, Show and Tell, Household objects, and finally, one letter words.
"Anyway, Max, you're in third place, so the board is yours."
"Well, this is jeopardy, and seeing there are one, two, three, four, five six, ah, seven, seven different categories-''
"Right, Mr. Bale, why don't you pick?" Alex said quickly, trying to get through the first round.
"It looks like this is my lucky day- I'll take 'The Rapists' for two- hundred."
"That's 'Therapists,' Mr. Bale, not 'The Rapists.'
"Damn you, Trebek!" Christian screeched.
"Let's skip 'Therapists' and try 'Household Objects' for four hundred. And the answer is: You usually drink water out of it. Christian?"
"A leather glove."
"No. Ele Keats?"
"A toilet!"
"That is awful. Max Casella?"
"Um.."He said, looking around for a word.
"And you're an idiot. The answer was a glass," Trebek said, looking pitifully at the contestants. "Okay, pick again, Mr. Bale."
"Oh, I'll play you're little game, you thief," Christian said. "Let's try 'The Rapists' for twenty."
"How about 'Show and Tell' for six hundred. I'll just show you an object and you'll tell me what it is, ok?"
"It's a man!" Christian shouted stupidly.
"No, Mr. Bale, I am not the object. I haven't showed it to you yet. Here it is. Name this object. Ele Keats?"
"A Popsicle!" she cried.
"No. Max, name this object."
"Um.. One of those things. You know?"
"You idiots! It's a frigid' hammer!" Alex yelled.
"Now listen to me, you bastard, you wouldn't have known that if you didn't have that card in front of you!" Christian exclaimed. "Whatever. Let's move on to 'Current U.S. Presidents' for four hundred. And the answer is: he is the current U.S. President. He has gray hair, and you've probably seen him in the news. His first name is George. Mr. Bale, I know for a fact you had dinner with him recently. His last name is Bush. His name is George Bush. Please, someone just say, 'Who is George Bush?'" Alex pleaded.
There was a silence as the contestants stood there, thinking.
"Someone just say it! Anyone?"
Still no answer.
"And the show has reached a new low," Alex said looking pathetically at all three. "Alright let's just move on to Final Jeopardy. And the category is: Letters of the Alphabet. All you have to do is write down a letter. Any letter at all. For instance, an 'a' or a 'g.' There is no reason anyone should be writing this much," Alex said, looking at Ele and Max writing quickly on there boards. "Just write down a letter of the alphabet."
*The jeopardy music plays as our contestants write their answers down. *
"Okay," Alex said, after waiting for Ele and Max, "For the sake of tradition, let's take a look at the answers. Christian, you put: nothing. Good Lord, no wonder you didn't take half as long as the others," Alex said, shaking his head. "Ele Keats, let's see what you wrote. You drew a picture of an eye."
"Well, 'I' is a letter, isn't it?" she said, stupidly.
"Are you English or retarded?" he asked her. "Okay, let's go to Max. Your answer was the letter two."
"Ha, ha, ha, the letter two!" he laughed.
"No, two is a number, you idiot!" Alex yelled. "Well, as always, three perfectly good charities have been deprived of money here on Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm Alex Trebek, and the three of you should be ashamed of yourselves." He said walking out, shaking his head.
And that ends another exciting episode of Celebrity Jeopardy: Newsies Style! Please Review! Feedback is appreciated.
