AN: Written for a Crack-Fic-A-Thon over on LJ. The prompt was "Crossover with Veronica Mars - Veronica and Buffy end up investigating the same "case" and have to team up to save the world while their snarky boyfriends (Logan and Spike, obvs) commiserate about life with tiny blonde heroes who think they have to save everyone." This is what came out of brain.
….
"You know what the worst part is? Veronica is always going off without telling anybody where she's going, or how long she'll be gone, and the only thing she has for protection is a taser! It's like she thinks the world's going to end if she stops long enough to take simple precautions!"
"Buffy's the same way. Except, sometimes if she stops for precautions, the whole world actually could end…"
"Is it the height? Do they think they have to prove they're just as tough as the big guys?"
"What, like Chihuahuas?"
"Yes. Exactly like that! Our girlfriends are Chihuahuas."
"Least yours knows how to use a gun."
"Least yours has superpowers."
"Least yours doesn't fight nasty hulking demons."
"Clearly you've never been to Neptune. 'Demonic in origin' would actually make sense."
"Neptune? Tiny little town, money, murders, always in the news? That's where you're from?"
"The very same. Veronica too."
"Huh. That explains a lot. Ever think maybe there's a hellmouth there?"
"Excuse me? A what-mouth?"
"Hellmouth. Kind of an, uh, epicenter for evil."
"Jesus. Hell has a mouth now?"
"More than one."
"I think I need a drink. Want one?"
"Just a small one. I'm hoping Buffy will let me in on the fight, but if she catches a whiff of alcohol and it'll be 'if you fight dunk we'll end up with an angry handless demon instead of a dead headless one.'"
"That kind of thing happen often?"
"Just the once. And I think she was actually more upset about getting demon blood in hair. It was blue for a week. How close were they to ready when you left?"
"Not sure. Buffy was asking if she could borrow Veronica's taser when this whole thing's over. Something about cattle prods and revenge?"
"Fuck."
