Shepard didn't always follow orders. She didn't always listen. That drove Garrus wild. He loved that ruthless nature of hers and the way she was so confident and commanding. She didn't take shit from anyone. She was strong. She was independent. She didn't need him, but she loved having him around. Or at least that's what it seemed like. Sometimes it seemed like maybe she did need him after all. Sometimes it seemed like she needed him, because he was the only person she could trust completely.

He loved the way her hips swayed even while she held a gun and was charging the battlefield. He had learned over time that he needed to not let it distract him, but sometimes...sometimes he just had to admire her hips and other assets. He loved her pale skin – so soft and delicate to the touch. It was nothing like turian skin. It was so delicate that sometimes he felt bad touching her, like he would break her even though he knew that nothing could break Commander Shepard.

Seeing the woman underneath all that armor had changed the relationship they held. At first, they were friends. Shepard had expressed that "the mission comes first" when it came to love and relationships, but something had changed after she died. He could tell that she suddenly regretted the fact that her life could have so easily ended that day and she would never have experienced love. He could tell that the idea of a suicide mission did terrify her to some extent, but she would never admit to it. She and Garrus had flirted here and there, too, so it was only a matter of time.

Garrus had always respected Shepard. He always admired her. He wouldn't have thought that very moment he met her, that he would have met the love of his life. He never would have thought that the love of his life would be a human female, but Shepard was no normal human. She was extraordinary.

He loved the color of her hair – the way the blonde locks shined in the light. He loved the way her eyes glowed red. They were brown when he had first met her, but they slowly had become permanently tinted crimson the more ruthless, renegade things she did. She had corrected the scars and her eyes weren't as red as they used to be, but the tint still remained. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.

He loved her pink armor and how girly it was, completely opposing her personality. Shepard was a woman and loved some womanly things. That armor reminded him sometimes of Shepard's womanly traits. That, and the pink lipstick she wore and the way her lips contorted into that damned smirk of hers. That smirk that always appeared when she talked to him.

Shepard didn't always follow orders. She didn't always listen. But Garrus hoped that she would listen this one time. Maybe she would listen to her turian boyfriend and come back alive this time. Maybe she would listen to him. Maybe her damn self-righteousness wouldn't force her to be reckless.

Oh, who was he kidding? Shepard was always reckless.

He took comfort in knowing the fact that he was going to be by Shepard's side until the end. She had chosen him and Kaidan for her final squad. He had no intention to leave her side for anything.

He meant his promise to her: That if they both died, he'd meet her in that bar in heaven.

The closer they got to the end, the further she seemed from him. She was so far away.

And with that final reaper blast, Garrus seemed sure that that was it. He was sure he was dead.

But, strangely, he was alive. He looked around him. Some of his fellow men weren't so lucky. Kaidan...didn't look lucky...Everything seemed so dark and grim...And Shepard...Katherine...She was nowhere to be found.

Garrus couldn't even move. He couldn't feel some of his body. He felt that he might as well be dead.

But he wasn't dead. He was alive. And he felt a force wash over him. He felt a force that helped him move. He didn't know how or why, but part of him felt it was Shepard's doing. It was always Shepard's doing.

He crawled a bit, radioing for someone as he tried to move, "Is...Is anyone there? Shepard...?"

The turian barely breathed, but he called for her. The voice he heard back was not Shepard's, though. It was someone else's.

"Garrus? Is that you? Joker here. What is your position?"

Garrus could barely breathe. He managed a barely audible, "Jo..ker...? I..."

His words trailed off. He could feel himself bleeding profusely, "Garrus, I need to know if Shepard is with you. We lost contact with her and Anderson. Garrus?"

The turian sniper took a deep, painful breath, crawling on his hands toward cover, "Sh...She's not here..."

Garrus had always been a pessimist. The first thing he thought about was Shepard dying...and that made him want to die too...He couldn't lose her. He didn't want to lose her.

He had a vision. Shepard and him side by side, destroying the reapers. Earth saved by them, but with Shepard taking all of the credit. As it should be, he thought. Garrus didn't like publicity anyways. After defeating the reapers, Shepard would retire from service and they would settle down somewhere on Earth. They would adopt two children: a human and a turian. Raise them as a family.

They would be happy. They would be together. Shepard would live.

It was getting harder and harder to breathe. It was getting harder to do anything. He couldn't keep his eyes open,even, and when he closed them he saw his vision. He didn't even want to open his eyes anymore if it meant not seeing her.

He could vaguely hear someone nearby and could feel them moving him some place. He was in so much pain though that he couldn't distinguish the voices he heard. He just heard.

He heard her voice and the first time they met on the Citadel. He heard her voice as she rescued him from the group of Mercs on Omega. He heard her voice as he thought of all the times she'd come into the main battery and how dumb he was for telling her he was too busy to talk to her. Calibrations could wait. He heard her voice and felt her touch that night before they went into the Omega 4 Relay. Spirits, he had been so nervous but Shepard got him through it. Shepard always got him through it.

He heard her voice yelling, moaning, screaming, whispering, talking...

You'll never be alone, Garrus.

Never.

When he awoke, he found himself in the Normandy. He felt different. He felt incredibly different. He felt better. He wasn't in any pain. At least, no physical pain.

And then he felt a huge crash.

He got up as he hurriedly ran to see anyone who was on board.

The ship wasn't flying anymore. He could tell that just by standing up.

He ran into Joker and EDI eventually. Joker was standing up straight – something Garrus had never seen. EDI looked different too. He wondered if he looked any different, even if only slightly.

"W-What happened? Where's Shepard?" Garrus immediately asked.

He didn't need to ask. Part of him already knew. He knew she was gone.

Commander Katherine Shepard never wanted to die, but she knew she would sacrifice herself if it meant getting rid of the reapers. She was a ruthless woman who achieved an end at any means. The end she wanted was a galaxy void of the threat of the reapers. She wanted them to never bother anyone again. She wanted peace, but she also wanted destruction. She wanted a common ground, believe it or not.

She never followed orders, but always achieved her desired result.

Garrus had hoped that maybe this one time, she would follow orders. That maybe she would make it out alive. But she didn't. She didn't listen to him.

Part of him wanted to die alongside her. Part of him wanted to be with her until the end. But she had given him a new life. She had given her life for the sake of everyone – including him. He couldn't throw that away. He couldn't throw away a gift she had given him.

Commander Shepard had died before. Most people aren't that lucky. Most people don't get a second chance. She had found love. She had stopped the reapers. She had done so much in her 32 years of life...or was it 30 years? Garrus never had asked if she counted the two years they spent rebuilding her into her age. Regardless, Garrus knew Shepard was content with her life.

She may not have been the nicest. She may not have been the most caring. She may not have been a lot of things. But she was his. She was always his.

Garrus would meet her in that bar in Heaven someday.

He just hoped that Shepard would go easy on the shots until then.

After all, he didn't need a drunk guardian angel.


A/N: Idk if this makes sense but I was in a Garrus mood and wrote it so here you go. Hope you enjoy it. ;~;