DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. IT BELONGS TO MASASHI KISHIMOTO.

Hey kids, it's everybody's favorite crazy author, THE ULTIMATE SAIYAN!!

But seriously, I'll give the laydown out to those of you Naruto fans out there who go by the English dub and haven't seen Shippuden yet.

Gaara was in a battle with Deidara, the effeminate-looking Akatsuki member (second to only former member Orochimaru), and lost when he used most of his chakra to protect the Sand Village from Deidara's bomb. Deidara then carried Gaara to an Akatsuki ritual, where they extracted Shukaku out of Gaara, killing him. Then, Sakura and Chiyo fight and kill Sasori, Naruto gets pissed a Deidara and almost goes 2-Tails Kyuubi mode on his ass, Kakashi shows off his Mangeyko Sharingan, bla bla bla. Then Chiyo sacrifices he life force to Gaara because she was the one to seal Shukaku inside him at birth, and so on, so forth. The Gaara shakes Naruto's hand and Teams Gai and Kakashi go back to Konoha, Which leaves us where we are right now.

--

Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari were standing outside the Kazekage's Mansion, watching Gai gallop into the sunset, with a limp Kakashi on his back.

"Sooo...Gaara...how does it feel not having Shukaku anymore?" asked Kankuro.

"Like a big burden has been lifted."

"Well, I'll leave you boys to talk, I have to go do my hair!" stated Temari, going back into the Mansion.

"Yeah, for you're date with an oh-so-special lazy bastard Chunin from Konoha, I presume." mumbled Gaara.

"Hey Gaara! You made a funny!" laughed Kankuro.

"Uhh...Kankuro...there's something I really need to tell you..." said Gaara.

"Oh, you're not coming out of the Closet, are you?" asked Kankuro. "God, why does everyone always come out to ME?!"

"NO, you blithering idiot. I was trying to tell you that..for the first time in my life...I think I'm ready for bed."

"Oh, why didn't you say so, silly!" remarked Kankuro, leading Gaara into the mansion.

Half an hour later, Kankuro and Gaara were both sitting on Gaara's bed, which had just been bought and place in Gaara's room, the new bed smell still lingering.

"Alright Gaara, we got the bed.." said Kankuro, crossing out something from a list he had. "Now to get you some proper sleepwear."

"...Sleepwear?"

"Yeah, you know...the clothes you sleep in? We need to get you something in...dare I say it..." whispered Kankuro.

"Fashion."

"FASHION, WHERE?!" shouted Temari, bursting through the door.

"I need new pajamas!" smiled Gaara, not knowing what he just got himself into.

"Good, now hold still." said Temari as she pulled a tape measure out of nowhere and immediately started taking Gaara's measurements, writing them down with her other hand.

"I didn't know you wear size 10 shoes!" said Kankuro, looking at the measurements Temari wrote down.

"I DO?!"

2 hours and a very huge tab on the Sand Village later, Gaara's room had received a new paint job, courtesy of Temari, and a redecoration, courtesy of Kankuro.

"Gee..thanks guys..." said Gaara, looking at his now baby blue walls. "I gotta get that painted over."

"Well, I'll see you two later, I have a (cough)datewithshikamaru(cough) I mean...Women's Society Dinner to attend to..." said Temari, as she went out the door.

"...You should get some medicine for that cough!" shouted Gaara, totally oblivious.

"Now let's see here..." stated Kankuro, looking at his list. "Only a few thing left now...we have to get you a new teddy bear!"

"What happened to my old one!" asked Gaara.

"You did a sand coffin on him back when you were going through puberty." reminded Kankuro.

"Oh yeah..."

"Here, you can borrow one of Temari's." said Kankuro, handing Gaara a regular Teddy Bear.

"But won't she get angry?"

"Nah, she always hated that one." explained Kankuro. "It's the only one she has that isn't pink."

"Ohhh...I'll name him Jerry!" proclaimed Gaara, snuggling the teddy.

"Now..I think it's time you showered and put you're pajamas on."

"But I'm scared of sleeping by myself!!" whined Gaara.

"Don't worry...I'll sleep in you're room with you."

"YAAAAY!! SLEEPOVER!!" shouted Gaara, jumping up and down on his bed.

1 hour later, Gaara was all showered up and ready for bed.

"So how do you like your first pair of pajamas?" asked Kankuro.

"I hate them."

"But why?"

"For God's sake Kankuro..THEY'RE PINK!!" shouted Gaara, looking down at his pink footed pajamas. Also looking in disgust at how Jerry was dressed the same way.

"Umm...uhhh... you can borrow one of my T-shirts and boxers!" improvised Kankuro.

"Could I get a another pair to got with those, please?" asked Gaara.

"Why would you need another pair?"

"Jerry hates his pajamas too!"

3 hours later, Gaara was dressed in a white T-shirt with blue boxers, and ready for bed.

"So how do they feel?" asked Kankuro, getting out of the shower.

"Jerry says thank you!" said Gaara, holding the the bear dressed identical to himself.

"How did they fit on him?" asked Kankuro, amazed.

"I washed them!"

15 minutes later, the Sand Brothers were in bed and ready to go to sleep.

"Ok Gaara, are you and Jerry ready for your first time sleeping?" asked Kankuro.

"Yeah!...Goodnight Kankuro."

"Goodnight Gaara." said Kankuro as he turned out the lights.

2 hours later

"Kankuro...Kankuro..." whispered Gaara as he poked Kankuro.

Kankuro didn't even budge.

"KANKURO!!"

Still nothing.

"You're puppets are on fire."

"WHERE?!" shouted Kankuro, finally waking up.

"Nowhere, I just needed to tell you somethi-you wear polka-dotted boxers?"

"What do you need to tell me, Gaara?" asked Kankuro, subtly covering up his indeed polka-dotted boxers.

"I wet the bed."

"How did it happen?"

"Well, I was bored, and then I had a dream of the girl showing me her boobs, and then she got naked and then she pulled my clothes off and then she threw me on the bed and-"

"Stop stop you're getting me horny!" pleaded Kankuro. "I meant, how did you know you wet the bed?

Well, I woke up from my dream, and then I felt my bed sheets, but the pee wasn't yellow, It was white and kinda sticky."

1 hour and a few changed bedsheets later

"Kankuro...Kankuro..."

Gaara's whisper was drowned out by Kankuro's snoring.

"KANKURO!" shouted Gaara, slapping his older brother across the face.

"Huh? Who's there..."

"Jerry said he heard some weird moaning and rocking noises coming from Temari's room!"

"...And?..."

"He wants us to go check it out."

So Gaara and Kankuro walked down the hall to Temari's room.

"You go first." said Gaara.

"Oh, fine." said Kankuro as he put his ear to the door."

"Uhh...(groan) Oh yes...(gasp)...yeah...(moan) OH SHIKAMARU!!"

With that, Kankuro went into a half-seizure.

"What is it? What's going on?" asked a giddy Gaara.

"Do that creepy thing with that eye made of sand and find out..." advised Kankuro, coming out of his shock-induced state.

And Gaara did just that.

"Hey, this is just like my dream!"

2 ½ hours and many requests later

"Kankuro..."

"What do you have against the concept of a good night's sleep, HUH?!" Shout-asked Kankuro, with bloodshot eyes and messed up hair.

"I had a bad dream."

1 hour and a glass of warm milk later

Gaara and finally gone to bed, and the dizzy Kankuro was finally at peace.

As soon as Kankuro's head hit his pillow, His alarm rang.

It was 6: 30 AM.

"That was fun! Let's do it again tonight!"