Hey, this is my second fanfiction. I will warn you, it is probably totally lame, but whatever. Enjoy and please review.


I run. It is such a simple thing, but sometimes you get into your head that if you run fast enough, if you run far enough, you can escape your problems. I wish I could escape mine. If I could outrun my pain, then perhaps I wouldn't be so messed up.

I am alone, just like I want to be.

As each paw pounds the forest floor, I begin to regret this decision. I mean, he doesn't need me. He gets plenty of visitors… well, okay, not really. But that doesn't mean I have to be one of them. Just because he took my place with the newborn, that doesn't imply that he deserves my gratefulness or my… apology.

I absolutely hated that word. It was a terrifying thing, an apology. I had paced in a circle for a half-hour in the woods just trying to come up with what to say. Let's just say that apologizing is not my forte. I mean, what should I say? "Hey, sorry that you were dumb enough to take my place with the newborn and break half the bones in your body."? No, that doesn't seem right.

And you know the worst part about this is? Sam didn't tell me to apologize to him. Nope, I was doing this out of my own free will. For some odd reason, letting him get hurt like that and not even telling him that I was thankful seemed… unmoral. I know, since when did I care about what's right or wrong? And since when did I care about Jacob Black's feelings? Honestly, I have no fucking idea.

I feel Quil and Embry enter my head. I try to stay in my sort of good mood, so I make no rude comments on their presence. I just keep running, my mind blank.

Dude, Quil says, or rather thinks, you want to go cliff-diving later?

Embry answers, Yeah, sure. Call me later.

I subconsciously begin to think about the last time I had been cliff-diving. It had been so long ago. And it had been with him. I remember. I had stopped so I wouldn't be reminded of him. Quil and Embry heard me, and just like that, they were gone.

Am I that bad? I know I can be bitter sometimes, okay, all of the time, but maybe there's a part of me that still knows the Leah I used to be… the one that he had loved. It's amazing that after a couple years, it still hurts to say his name, even think his name. I don't know how everything that had seemed so right suddenly couldn't be more wrong. And it wasn't a random girl, it was my cousin. Who was more like my sister. He had to imprint on her, the person I trusted most.

I feel the hole inside my chest open even wider, and I want to scream. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. But, hey, nothing's fair. I had been planning on getting out of here and going to college, try to make something of my life and get away from him. That was taken away. I thought that he would be by my side forever, my prince charming, but that was taken away too. I thought that I could always confide in her, and you know what happened? It was taken away.

She should have been there. When he broke my heart, she should have been the one I could turn to. I would tell her everything and cry into her shoulder, and she would comfort me. That was how it was supposed to be. But no, even having someone to be there for me… that was also snatched from my grasp. So you see, life is never fair. Never. I know I'm a bitch for this, but sometimes I try to make them feel it, especially Sam, when we're phased. I mean, is it so wrong? After all the pain he put me through, is it so wrong to throw just a fraction back at him?

I approach the Black's house, and knock on the door. Billy opens it and, with a hint of surprise, says, "Hello, Leah. I suppose you are here to see Jake?"

I nod, and he continues, "He's asleep, but feel welcome to wake him up. Come on in."

I step inside and look around. I haven't been here in a while. It is all the same though. The wood floor, the rickety kitchen table, the smallness of it that makes it feel like a home nonetheless. Walking to Jacob's room, I wonder if he even wants to see me. Probably not, I'm most likely the last person he wants to see, but oh well. He'll have to deal with it.

The door squeaks in protest as I push it open. Jacob's soft snoring is the only sound in the room as I walk in silently. I suppose I could always turn back, say to Billy that he looks like he needs the sleep, never think about it when I phase. I don't want to apologize. Me-apologizing- it just seems so wrong and yet it feels so right. So I step to the foot of the small bed where one of Jacob's feet is hanging off the end. It's sad that he can't have a bed big enough. I guess he just can't afford it.

I begin to think about Jacob's family. First, his mom died, so that left Billy to care for three children. Next, Billy went into a wheelchair, putting the responsibility on the kids' shoulders. Then, Rebecca left with Rachel following. They both didn't want to deal with caring for an old man in a wheelchair and dumped it on their younger brother, whose life was more complicated than they could imagine. It sounds so cruel, inflicting the pain of having to deal with his school, handicap father, and then being a werewolf all on the same child. He had been twelve when his second sister left, and he had asked around for odd jobs ever since. He had repaired my mom's car in return for some money that he felt guilty about taking, but we all knew that he needed.

Holy crap, life is unfair.

"Jacob? Can you wake up for just the slightest second?" I try to sound nice, and I am glad that not a single curse word had escaped my lips.

He groans, and shifts slightly, his forehead slightly wrinkling with pain as his broken leg turns.

"Come on, shit-face, I don't have all day." I say sharply, crossing my arms.

Without opening his eyes, Jacob mutters, "Good morning, Leah. How are you on this terrible day?"

I retort back, "Every day is terrible."

"Not to me."

I look at him with disbelief. "What the hell! Do you realize that you have lost everything? You are broken! Broken! And not just physically! You didn't have a shot against the bloodsucker, and you lost the girl! And she's going to become your worst enemy. What then? We live in a world of pain, Jacob. And the world is never fair. When will you grow up and realize that?"

His face is emotionless as he looks away, and I sigh. "I didn't come here to give you a life's lesson. I just wanted to say thanks for what you did. It was… nice of you. I didn't think that anyone would do that for me."

Jacob smiles softly. "You know, Leah, is it so hard to believe that someone might care?"

"What are you saying?"

His smile goes wider, and he motions for me to come closer. I step around to the side of the bed, and he beckons me even closer. I kneel down to his eye level, and he turns his head to face me.

"I'm saying that even when it seems that we all hate you, a part of me can say that I actually care. 'Cause if I didn't, I wouldn't have taken your place. And trust me, that's saying something; it hurt like hell."

I frown slightly, knowing that it really did. I had seen it close up: the newborn crushing his bones, injecting its venom into his body, inflicting such severe pain. The memory was forever burned in my mind.

"And I wanted to say I'm sorry. As much as I hate to admit this, it was stupid for me to take it on alone, and I should have requested your help. And, frankly, that was really stupid of you. I mean, what idiot would do that? Well, you apparently, but just to let you know, that was really stupid."

"Yeah, I know. And it totally chased me back and bit me in the ass." He shrugs with his good shoulder.

"Anyway, I'm really sorry that you got hurt. It should have been me." I hated admitting that to him, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Jacob gazes at me with mixed emotions whirling in his black eyes. I wonder what he's thinking till he says, "You know what the strange thing is? I don't regret saving you. I mean, I should, but I don't. It's fucked up, I know. And I accept your apology. Doc says I'll be okay soon, and if you want… we can race."

I smile, truly and really smile. Racing: it was something we had done every now and then, just for the sport of it. It had become fun though, and both of us found running was something that helped to numb the pain.

"Sounds like a plan. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss racing with you. And we mention this little cooperation to no one for as long as possible. Got it?"

He nods, and I stand up. As I walk out the door, I look back and say, "By the way, I hate you."

"Hate you too," he replies good-naturedly.

I leave the room, the smile still across my face. I hadn't smiled like this in a while. I had been too bitter to be happy enough to smile. Now, as I walk out of the Black's house, I wonder why Jacob, annoying as he is, can coax a smile out of me. There's just something about him that screams: Forget every worry in the world and be happy.

I don't know, I just couldn't help letting the grin stay on my lips.

I close the door behind me, and turn to see Bella Swan in her beat-up, red truck. The smile disappears to change into a scowl. God, that girl makes me so angry. I have no idea why Jacob loves her. She's just like Sam. A heartbreaker. In some ways, she's worst. Even after breaking him, she comes back to torture him some more. It was just wrong. I couldn't even explain how wrong it was. The way she treated him: it was disgusting. After all he's done to make her happy, she stabs him in the back. And every dagger that pierces his heart is like a dagger in ours. He can't ever escape the pain she inflicts on him, and in turn is inflicted on us. And here she is again to break him some more. Lord, please let him survive this.

As I think of Jacob's pain embed into our minds, I realize why Jacob and I are in some ways compatible. He's like me. A reject, the person who is dumped on the floor in the end. The one who wasn't good enough. We both weren't good enough for those we loved, and we never would be. I wasn't good enough for S-Sam, and he wasn't good enough for Bella.

Still, I knew that he was good enough for her. Actually, she didn't even deserve him or his love. She's so selfish. He mourns over not being enough for her, and all she can do is rub it in his face. She doesn't even deserve his pain. The hurt he bears because of her; she doesn't deserve to have anyone hurting over her, Jacob or the bloodsucker.

I run from the porch and into the woods before she could look up and notice me. I strip, and phase. As my muscles bunch and then release, I bask in the pleasure of letting the animal out. As a wolf, human emotions don't effect me as much, although they are still there. Sometimes, I wish I could always be an animal. Just a lone wolf running, always running, not feeling, not caring. It sounds better than this.


What do you think? Tell me, just try not to be too harsh. Thanks for reading.