Heart Like a Wheel
A/N: The song is Heart Like a Wheel by The Corrs. I was listening to this song while driving and it struck me personally. Oddly this was not my first time hearing the song… I love The Corrs and its one of my favorite songs, but it was the first time it stuck me that way. Then I was thinking… hey this could work as Stella fic.
Spoilers: Season 2 Stella and Frankie stuff… Season 3 Heart of Glass…
Summary: My take on some of the stuff with Frankie and more recent developments. Slightly Implied Stella/Mac, Stella/Hawkes friendship
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI NY or the song. I just borrowed them for a short time.
Some
say the heart is just like a wheel
When you bend it you can't mend
it
And my love for you is like a sinking ship
My heart is on
that ship out in mid-ocean
Why did it always seem to happen to her? She knew this was not true but it sure felt like it. Every time she thought she was falling in love some big and stupid had to rear its head.
They
say that death is a tragedy
It comes once and then it's over
But
my one only wish is for that deep dark abyss
For what's the use of
living with no true lover
She'd killed Frankie; up until his Aresanob sculpture and the discovery of the website she had actually thought he could be the one. After she'd found it she'd broken it off. But Frankie wouldn't have that. She knew that her killing Frankie had been justified; he would have killed her had she not killed him first. She was sure she'd never love again and that almost made her life feel pointless.
And
it's only love and it's only love
That can break a human being
and
turn him inside out
That can break a human being
and turn him
inside out
After everything with Frankie she was so hurt. She wanted someone's shoulder to cry on. But she didn't know who to go to. Mac? No she was his strength during those hard times not the other way around. Flack? Again no, he'd done so much while she was in the hospital, she couldn't call on him again. Danny? Nope, that would just be awkward and she didn't need that. Lindsay? No she'd heard how Lindsay had reacted just knowing about it, knowing that would only make her feel worse. So she ended up alone dealing with her problems. She'd done this all her life and really wasn't phased to much by having to do it again.
When
harm is done no love can be won
I know it happens frequently
What
I can't understand
Please
God hold my hand
Is why it should have happened to me
She still didn't understand why everything seemed to happen to her more than to her other friends. First everything with Frankie, now she had to worry about possibly being HIV positive. What had made her life go so wrong? She was starting to long for the old days when she could be care free. No one would be able to love her with all her emotional baggage. But she didn't really care. The only person she thought she could love had someone else and he looked genuinely happy and it had been a long time since she'd seen him happy.
And
it's only love and it's only love
That can break a human being
and
turn him inside out
That can break a human being
and turn him
inside out
She was starting to break. She didn't want to break. She knew she had to find some help. She needed someone to talk to, who could understand her but not pity her. She thought to herself, 'What about Hawkes?' She didn't want to go outside her circle of friends. She knew she needed to see a professional. Hawkes was a doctor just not the right kind. But they were pretty close and she knew she could trust him.
Some
say the heart is just like a wheel
When you bend it you can't mend
it
And my love for you is like a sinking ship
My heart is on
that ship out on mid-ocean
And it's only love and it's only
love
And it's only love it is only love
And it's only love it
is only love
And it's only love it is only love
She'd asked Hawkes if they could talk one night. He'd agreed instantly. She felt as though she needed to tell him that she needed to talk about some pretty heavy stuff. He just gave her a small smile in understanding. She could only thank him.
A/N2: This was my first song fic and I personally don't think it's that good. But I really wanted to write it and get some kind of feedback on it. So please review. I'd really like some constructive criticism.
