Booty Magnet

By: silverwriter01

All characters belong to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. I'm just borrowing them.

Note: Takes place after episode 2x5. Just another drabble.

Not yet edited so read at your own risk.

Synopsis: At The Dirty Robber, Jane wonders why she never gets hit on when she wears her suit.


"I still can't believe you got hit on twice while wearing my suit," Jane remarked as they walked into The Dirty Robber. She started to continue her sentence when something caught her vision.

"Someone's sitting at my booth," Jane said, her eyes narrowing, "I had my name on it with a sticky note and everything. I'll be right…"

Maura intercepted her friend before Jane caused a scene, "How about we sit at the bar until it's vacated? I like a little change in scenery ever now and then."

Jane gave the people in her booth a long glare before allowing the medical examiner to pull her towards the bar. Once seated and an ice cold beer in front of her, Jane relaxed and continued her earlier thought.

"I mean you had my suit on all of what? Three hours? And you got hit on twice by women. I wear it all day and nobody hits on me," Jane said, referring to the incident where she and Maura switched clothes a few days prior.

"I just can't imagine why, Jane. Your facial features are very pleasurable to look at. Perhaps if you would let me have your suits tailored, you would attract more attention," Maura offered.

Jane shook her head as she took a long swig of her beer, "Nah. I like them just the way they are."

"It's your decision," Maura replied, looking slightly disappointed. She wasn't going to give up until Jane's clothes were well-fitted, but she wasn't ready to do it the hard way yet.

They idly talked for a while until Jane noticed Maura was running her fingers up and down her arm, "Umm, Maura, what are you doing?"

Maura said, continuing the action down Jane's long sleeve shirt, "I'm just trying to figure out the thread count in the fabric by feel. I have an accuracy level of 89% on higher quality fabric but nowhere near as accurate on lower quality fabric. This is 80s single-ply thread. When winter comes we'll have to get you double-ply thread shirts. The material is thicker and far better quality."

Jane wrinkled her brows. She debated defending her clothes and then shrugged with a soft smile. Maura was always randomly talking about her clothes or touching her for some reason or another. The detective turned her attention back to the game playing on the large screen in front of her, "Ah, come on! He was open!"

The medical examiner held back a triumphant smile. She hadn't lied. Maura had tried to guess the thread count of shirt, but that hadn't been all she did. Jane hadn't noticed the beautiful, red-haired woman checking her out from the other side of the bar. Maura met the woman's eyes in a direct stare before leaning in close to Jane. She started running her fingers up and down Jane's arm while giving the other woman a challenging look. Maura held back her smile as the other woman broke the look first, signaling Maura had won.

The detective never seemed to notice the women checking her out, but Maura always did. Jane just didn't know how attractive she was. The medical examiner wasn't opposed to Jane meeting and dating nice women or men, but she had yet to give anyone personal approval.

She hadn't approved of the blonde patrol officer she had caught flirting with Jane over coffee one morning in the café. Jane had told her that a cop dating other cops wasn't a good idea, but Maura wanted to be sure the other woman knew that. From that morning on, Maura made sure to always accompany Jane to breakfast so that woman didn't try again.

She hadn't liked the Hispanic assistant defense attorney hovering over Jane at her desk. Maura could just tell the woman would be too needy and clingy by the outfit she wore. The doctor made sure to come up from the basement or calling Jane to come down to the lab as much as she could without inferring with their respect jobs.

Maura just wanted to make sure any person Jane was with was perfect. Having 'booty calls' was one thing, but starting a long term relationship was another. It took a lot of effort to keep unwanted suitors away. The doctor figured that was why she had had less dates and suitors than ever.

The touch of a hand on her back brought Maura out of her train of thought. Jane said, grabbing her beer in one hand and keeping the other on Maura, "My booth's empty. Let's go before someone else grabs it. I don't think I can be nice any more today."

Jane walked them over to the booth where the waitress was bussing the table.

"Another beer," Jane told the woman before turning to Maura. "I have to go to the restroom. Be right back."

"Would you like me to go with you?" Maura asked, moving towards her.

"No," Jane ordered firmly, "You sit. Someone will take our booth if you're not sitting here."

"Alright, Jane."

Jane made her way through the bar towards the back. On the way, she made sure to give several men warning glares. She had seen them all leering her friend and she wanted to make sure they didn't get any ideas while she was in the rest room. The detective was already peeved that she now had to keep women away from Maura as well as men. Jane was sure her friend didn't know half the lengths she went through to keep unsuitable men away.

After relieving her bladder and washing her hands, Jane made her way back to booth. Her eyes narrowed in on a tall man walking towards Maura with a purpose in his stride. She immediately decided she didn't like him and started moving faster towards the booth. The man leaned forward over the table, as if moving to take a seat and Jane broke out into a run. Nobody in this world was allowed to take her seat!

Tackling him was easy. They went flying across the floor of the bar, onto the floor. She jumped up and snarled down at him, "That's my booth, pal. My seat and my girl. Back the fuck off."

"Jane!" Maura exclaimed. She couldn't believe what just happened and she had seen it all for herself.

"What?" Jane replied. The detective was starting to notice everybody in the bar was staring at them.

"I was just seeing if she needed another glass of wine," The man on the floor said, his hands raised in surrender. Once he had turned over, Jane was clearly able to see he worked for The Dirty Robber.

"Rizzoli, I think you need to come back another night," Joe, the bartender, said from behind the counter. Jane knew his word was final and nodded. He wasn't banning her from the bar, only kicking her out.

She turned to leave and heard Maura call out, "Jane! Wait for me!"

The detective waited for her friend at the door. She just wanted to go home and bury herself in her bed.

"Was that really necessary?" Maura asked.

Jane shrugged and started walking down the street, her thumbs in her pockets.

Maura sighed. It was so hard to get through to Jane sometimes. She started after her friend.

"Why did you tackle him?"

"Thought he was going to take my seat," Jane mumbled, feeling more and more mortified as she kept replaying the scene in her head.

Maura caught Jane by the arm and pulled her to a stop. She made her friend look at her.

"Your seat was never in danger," Maura pledged, "Even if he had been a potential suitor, I wouldn't have let him take your seat. I wouldn't have let anyone take your seat."

A smile started to grow on Jane's face as she looked into Maura's honest eyes, "I wouldn't let anyone take your seat either. Your seat is always next to me."

"Babe," The detective added with a smile.

Jane jumped as Maura suddenly wrapped her arm around her, "What are you doing?"

"I'm a little cold," Maura stated. It wasn't a lie. She had been a little cold in the bar and the feeling lingered. What Jane didn't know was that a woman had just past them, giving Jane a double look, up and down.

"It's not cold out here at all," Jane protested. Out of the corner of her eye she caught glimpse of a man smoking by the wall staring at them. He was actually staring at Maura and she didn't like it.

"However, I did just tackle a waiter and I'm worked up. I'm sure it is cold," Jane said, pulling her friend closer, "Let's get you inside. My place or yours?"

"Yours is fine."

End