Title: Looking In
Author: Victoria (ifonlyx33)
Rating: PG (All fluff, with some very subtle suggestion and a few censored curse words)
Disclaimer: Not mine. Duh. It's just my artistic creation.
Description:What strange and beautiful world is Clark living in? Clark makes a decision to change his life. It's both post-finale AND fluff. Apparently such a thing exists and I have just written it.

Commentary:It's funny how inspiration can strike at any moment. Like the other night. I was laying in bed wishing I could enter the fan fic contest for Clana Day. But silly me. I'm a dreamer. I don't have enough skill to weave a short and detailed plot or enough time and dedication to follow through. So back to listening to the radio. I turned up the volume and wiggled the short out of my last freaking pair of working headphones. I caught the bridge and chorus of a song I know oh-so-well. It's by Lonestar; it's called My Front Porch Looking In. Suddenly, the fun mystery that is my brain started to work (what a pleasant surprise!). So, just in time for our Christmas celebration, I give you this. I hope you like it. It hasn't been beta'd, and it has been written on a severe lack of sleep (It's 7:30 am. I never slept. I just finished it 5 minutes ago. My leg hurts. I think that means I need sleep.)

He watched her through the screen door. There she stood. Beautiful. Glowing in the early morning light. Smiling. Laughing as though nothing had happened. As though life was perfect. How was it that he was seeing her for the first time after such a long time, and yet it felt like he had woken up by her side? It felt like she had never left. Everything was perfect. She was so familiar to him, yet the scene before him was not.

She stood barefoot, her silky dark hair with only the most elegant touch of bedhead. Her smooth tan skin was as radiant as the sunlight itself. Her petite frame looked perfectly comfortable in Christmas-tree pajama pants and a big, comfy red plaid flannel button-down hanging over her ever growing, pregnant stomach.

Attached to her right hip, she held a young pajama clad girl about 3 years old, vivid red ringlets bouncing about wildly, framing her smiling round eyes. Clinging and tugging on her left hand, a stumbling first grader with wispy blond hair flying about her icy blue eyes tripped about in mismatched clothing trying to win attention.

Thunk! The plastic sippy cup fell from the toddler's hand to the floor. Before sniffles could turn into tears, the raven haired beauty, not more than 5 months along bent down as gracefully as could be managed and set the girl on her feet whilst handing her the sippy cup. Then, acknowledging the older child's quest for attention, she smiled at the combination of an orange and purple polka-dot shirt paired with green pants. Nonetheless, the child was brimming with pride, so she laughed gently and praised her for getting dressed by herself.

Forgetting to mind her feet, however, the little girl toppled over, producing a slight gasp followed by a giggle from the still bent over beauty, and also causing the young girl to pout.

"Whoopsie! Silly girl!" she sweetly flicked the girl's nose with her finger. "This shoe goes on this foot," she pointed, "and this shoe goes on this foot!"

"Will you fix it for me?"

She nodded, "Sit down, silly, and let me see if I can get that knot."

The young girl obeyed.

Before attending to the shoe matter, the lady turned to the toddler, whispering something to which they both giggled and stared straight out the front door.

There was the look he loved. She looked straight at him with happy mischief and returned to her important duty. While he watched the scene before him in awe, fiery red hair tumbled across the floor and pudgy bare feet pattered against the wood floors as quickly and stably as they could carry her. So enraptured was he, that he nearly didn't see her jump toward him.

The giggle-happy girl pounced on the onlooker, aiming for a hug around the neck but only achieving a hug around his knees. He lowered himself to her height and scooped her up in his big, strong arms.

"Hey, sweetie," he began, "What's your name?"

This sent the toddler into another wave of giggles, nearly uncontrollable. When her face turned pink, she stopped to breathe. Finally, she answered in a playful tone which suggested his absurdity, "You know my name, Daddy!" She giggled a bit more as he processed this, then continued to explain like only children will do, "It's Lana! Just like Mommy! She said I come... come give you a love attack!"

Lana. There was a name he had neither heard nor spoken in what seemed years. And he was Daddy. It didn't make a lick of sense, and he didn't care a single bit.

Before he could further process her statement, the sweet little girl planted a big, slobbery kiss on his cheek, blinking rapidly and wiggling her nose trying to administer butterfly kisses and Eskimo kisses at the same time. When the girl finished she looked up at him with her ever-present smile. "Mommy said I should give you a love attack for Christmas! I love you, Daddy. Merry Christmas!"

Clark could only answer in what seemed the most natural way. He kissed her cheek, "What a great idea. That's exactly what I wanted for Christmas! I love you too." He might have thought it odd to say such a thing, but he realized this was what he had immediately felt upon seeing the girl.

"Hey. Save some for me, you two." said the eldest Lana, now joining them.

The older child skipped to her mother's side on the porch, "Good morning, Daddy!" She wrapped his legs in the biggest possible hug such a petite little girl could administer.

Happiness. This was pure happiness. Clark had forgotten what it was like. How good it felt.

Little Lana was already accustomed to the love between her parents, usually covering her eyes when they kissed. She then asked her mother innocently, "Mommy, aren't you gonna give a love-attack to Daddy?"

There. He saw it. The twinkle in her eye. He loved that twinkle more than anything else in the world. He had missed it. "Don't worry. I'll give him one later."

He knew what she meant, and he couldn't wait until later. Her sparkle now sparked a glimmering response in his own eye.

At last, the temptation could be avoided no longer. Looking out at the snow-covered yard, the eldest child earnestly asked permission to play in the winter wonderland. The instant Lana agreed, both girls were running, Little Lana even barefooted, across the slippery steps into the pure, white powder. When Clark asked where their coats were, Lana scoffed. "Stop bragging, Mr. I-Don't-Need-A-Coat-I'm-Superman." She shivered and stomped her feet, making several groaning noises in protest of the temperature. "Except for this baby, I have no Kryptonian in me!" Her voice changed to a higher pitch, "It's freeeezing out here!"

His warm, strong arms, always radiating heat, pulled her to his side and wrapped her tightly to his chest, her head fitting snugly in the crook of his arm. "It's not so bad out here."

"It's definitely getting warmer," she remarked, gaining control of her shivers and snaking one arm around his waist and bringing her other across his chest to rest her hand upon his heart.

Together, they watched their pajama-clad children play without a care in the world. She looked up and recognized the enraptured look on his face. Knowing exactly his feeling, she voiced his thoughts, "We are so lucky."

"I just don't understand it, Lana." He sighed and kissed the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her "Vanilla Snowfall" Christmas edition shampoo. He loved vanilla. She snuggled closer to him, if it was possible, and let out a cold-but-contented breath.

Lana called out to her jovial daughters to be careful, and warned them they only had a few minutes before they would have to clean up for breakfast.

That was when Clark realized how hungry he was. He could smell breakfast. Judging by the warm, savory tones wafting from the hallway, she had prepared fluffy golden waffles; homemade cinnamon rolls (he knew the scent well); salty, greasy bacon; and -of course- coffee. His tummy rumbled at the thought of food. Lana had always been an excellent cook. He remembered the time she had baked him a chocolate birthday cake with creamy white frosting. That was the best birthday he could remember ever having.

"I love you, Clark."

No matter how wonderfully weird this life was, one thing never changed. Clark had no hesitation, "I love you too, Lana. More than you could possibly imagine. I just love you so much."

She reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek and whispered in his ear. "We're in each other's hearts, Clark. I will always be with you. No matter what. I love you."

His smile fell flat. Those words. Those words had echoed in his head for years. Haunted him, even. Why would she say those words? The day came flooding back to him, She had left him on the floor, weakened by the toxic green Kryptonite radiation coursing through her body.

Slowly the images faded; the light twisted into cruel darkness. "Lana! Lana! NO! I can't lose you! What's happening? What's happening! Don't go! Stay. Stay! Lana, nooo!"

A sound drifted into his ears. First it was a distant scream, "WAKE UP, SMALLVILLE!"

Then he realized a song was also playing. As if reading his mind -or perhaps his mind had been following along- the country radio station blasted Lonestar's single, "Front Porch Looking In."

There's a carrot top who can barely walk
With a sippy cup of milk
A little blue eyed blonde with shoes on wrong
'Cause she likes to dress herself
And the most beautiful girl holding both of them
Yeah the view I love the most
Is my front porch looking in

He heard loud, heavy, angry footsteps coming up the stairs outside his bedroom door. His eyes squinted open to a harsher light. For but a moment he sought to find Lana's Something was wrong. This was harsh reality.

I see what beautiful is about
When I'm looking in
Not when I'm looking out.

Dressed in baggy pajamas with frightening hair and a wicked scowl, lois stormed through the door uttering curses of death. The smell of burnt toast followed her inside the room. "Wake up, wake up, WAKE UP!" she howled in rapid succession, marching toward his bed and attempting, though failing, to shove him out of bed. "And turn," she gave up trying to move the immovable as Clark sat up and rubbed his eyes, "your stupid music..." she ripped the alarm Clark out of the wall, killing the song before the chorus could be repeated, and threw the clock at Clark's head, "OFF!" She was huffing and fuming, "I hate your d*** music!"

Clark cringed a bit, but in truth his thoughts were mainly about the dream. It was still vivid in his mind and far clearer than any crystals he had ever seen in the Fortress of Solitude.

Lois cursed again, "D*** it! Are you even listening to me, Smallville?"

"Huh? Oh. I'm sorry, Lo. I had a dream"

"I bet you did. I bet it was real f***ing interesting," she accused. "And I bet it's the same dream you've had for the past 7 years we've been engaged."

"What? What do you mean? I haven't had any dreams since...in 9 or 10 years."

"And that's what you always say, right after you scream for Lana in your sleep for a hour."

Shock hit Clark, the same way it had in his dream, upon hearing her name aloud for the first time.

"Oh, don't give me your Big-Dumb-Alien-Look like you never remembered! Well, I'm sick and tired of this s***. Being Superman isn't enough to save your a** this time. I'm done. We're done. This is over. Merry Christmas."

Clark had no objections. He just sat there stupefied, and his only response was to apologize. In all honesty, Clark was relieved. Lois wasn't the girl next to whom he wanted to be waking up each morning. In fact, he had wanted to break things off with her on several occasions, but had never known how to break up with a girl to whom he was engaged. But upon waking up with this dream still in his heart, he felt he had betrayed his heart, and his Lana. A strong conviction to find Lana swept over him. He realized just how wrong his relationship with lois was. He had strung her along, and now her emotional attachment was far deeper than his. He knew in his gut, he would need to end things. Lois had just made it easy as she had just broken up with him and slammed the front door. Now all he had to do was go be Superman, save the world, and find Lana or die trying. Even if he couldn't be with her, he had to try to find a way.

-
THE END!

So what d'ya think? How was it? I love feedback. And I love sleep. Sleep is fun. Especially when you have dreams. I have to wake up soon though so I don't think I'll have any dreams. None like Clark's, for sure. This is what I'm like without sleep, for the record. I just keep talking and typing until I make myself stop and hit submit. OKAY. THAT'S IT. I'M DONE.

I'M DOOOOONE!
I FINISHED IT!
YAY ME.