So...for those who have read some of my stories, you may have noticed quite a few are connected...if you've read Twice in a Lifetime, you may already know how it ultimately ends (but if you haven't, don't read ahead!) - but I wanted to write more and keep Jasper alive. I wanted to write the entire saga from where it began, so get ready for some more stories. That being said, if you haven't read Chicken and would like to start with something more lighthearted, that is the first story in this head-canon series. This is the second, there will be two more I'll work on afterwards (one of which will encompass Until it Happens to You) finally moving into Twice in a Lifetime (which will be tweaked slightly to remove repetitive material since the entire backstory will be known and fix any timeline issues because I actually wrote down a timeline).
Because of this addition/rewrite, Earning Her Stripes is now considered a side story, but I don't have the heart to just delete it because I loved writing that one too.
Please note that as per the content warnings there are some difficult things written about here, however, we get through the assault and most of the war stuff in the first chapter, then there may be some flashbacks, but most of what happens after chapter 1 is pretty tame in comparison.
So, without further ado, I present the second story of The Palamo Saga.
Aftermath
Chapter 1 - Dream
August 2005
Jasper
"God…Tiger…"
Jasper threw her head back, inhaling deeply, her hands on a sealed box of MREs to steady herself as the soldier behind her pounded into her. It was Brenner – below average size, but damn did he know how to use it. He respected her rules; his hands never left her hips, never tried to wander anywhere else like some of the other guys had tried to do. She moaned deeply. "Fuck!"
His fingers dug into her hips as he quivered behind her, grunting as he finished. He exhaled deeply and pulled away. She heard the snap as he pulled his rubber off. "You had a good time, right?"
"Yeah." Jasper pulled up her pants and buckled her belt. At least he was capable of getting her off. Some of the guys she'd been with were rather disappointing. Right now, she made herself available to five of her friends. All of them knew about the arrangement and that no strings were attached. They couldn't be. She could fuck a guy today and he may not come back from battle tomorrow. She heard the clink of his belt. "Come on, Brenner, they've probably been waiting on us for like five minutes."
"It was at least ten."
She laughed and placed her cap on her head. "You wish."
Jasper picked up one of the boxes and headed out of the storage area with Brenner. The sun beat down on them and she reflected on how she missed trees and the river that ran through her town…and breezes. It was so hot that the horizon moved and warped before her eyes. She walked over to where her unit was readying supplies, preparing to move out soon. She wasn't sure exactly when or where and probably wouldn't until just before they left. She placed the box effortlessly on top of another. "There you go, Sergeant."
Sergeant McCoy narrowed his dark eyes at her. "It takes that long to get a box from storage."
"Brenner had a hard time keeping up. I would have been back sooner."
He shook his head and leaned in close. "I can smell it on you, you know."
"What?"
"You know what. We're going to have a discussion later, Corporal."
Fuck. It wasn't as if other people didn't know she slept around, but she wasn't aware her sergeant knew. She turned and walked off to her next task. So what if he knew? It was after she'd finished helping load some supplies on a truck when Sergeant McCoy motioned for her to follow him. He led her to the same storage area where she'd been with Brenner. "This is where you want to talk to me?"
He casually leaned against a shelf. "I've heard some rumors."
"Not much to do around here sometimes, I guess, except gossip."
His eyes flickered to a corner of the room and Jasper's followed seeing a discarded condom on the floor. Really, Brenner, she thought. "Look, whatever might be going on there are no rules against it."
"You're right. It may be frowned upon by some, but staying 'active' helps the men relieve their sexual frustration and boost morale."
Jasper wanted to give him an annoying sigh, but stayed standing straight, giving him the respect required. "I don't understand the problem, sir."
"I never said there was a problem. I would like your help boosting my morale."
She raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"You want to relieve my sexual frustration, Tiger?"
Her eyes focused on the wedding ring on his finger. "I don't think your wife would appreciate that, sir."
McCoy tipped his head back and laughed loudly. "That bitch is probably cheating on me as we speak!"
Jasper scoffed. "Well, I don't sleep with married men. That's one of my rules. Nothing good can come of that."
He moved closer, pressing his hand against her cheek. "Surely you can make an exception."
She pulled away, ducking under his arm and heading for the door. "No, I can't." Jasper quickly pushed the door open and left before he could make her feel any more uncomfortable.
Over the course of the day, he kept finding reasons to bump into her and wear her down with his constant asking. It was that evening while she was in the gym lifting weights when he approached her for about the fifth time that day. "You need a spotter?"
"I'm doing bicep curls. I'm good," she replied tersely.
"Have you thought about my offer?"
"What the hell do you have to offer? A Vienna sausage?" Jasper plunked the weights back on the rack. She lowered her voice as not to cause a scene. "Sir, I've told you repeatedly to stop. If you don't, I am prepared to go higher up the chain of command with a harassment complaint."
McCoy got close to her, his hand on her arm and his mouth next to her ear. "You do and I'll make sure to inform them of your reputation…of course, they probably already know."
Jasper felt herself shrinking and tried to move away, but he squeezed her arm. "As I said, it's not against the rules, so why would they care?"
"It still wouldn't look good when it comes time for you to move up. How's that going to look in a year…or two…when you go in for your interview? You think they'd choose you over a candidate with a spotless record?"
"Are you fucking threatening me?"
"I'm just telling it like it is, but I also don't have to say anything."
She inhaled sharply and shook with anger. This was not fair…or right…but he had a point. If she went for an interview with this type of reputation and was up against another female soldier who didn't sleep around, she could kiss that promotion goodbye. What other choice did she have? "Your wife never finds out. I don't need some angry woman coming on base and screaming at me when we get back." She pulled her arm away. "And you'll let me go, right now."
"So, the storage area is your usual…"
"Yeah."
"Let's go."
Beads of moisture rolled down the side of her face from her hairline. "Now? I'm…all sweaty…"
"It's hot as balls here and we'll work up a sweat ourselves." McCoy gave her a cocky smile and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
They walked in silence to the storage area. Her heart pounded and she quickly wiped the sweat from her face as she heard the door close. "Okay, so how do you want this? Me on top or you from behind?"
McCoy gave an amused chuckle. "Well, don't you like to get down to business? I like to preheat the oven before I cook the turkey."
Jasper scoffed. "That is the cor…" She was cut off as he grabbed her and pressed his lips against hers. His hand was trying to snake into her shirt. She pulled away. "What the hell?!"
"Are we doing this or not?"
"I don't allow kissing – or groping. I have rules, you know."
"Oh, come on, Tiger. I want the real deal here." He leaned in to kiss her again. Jasper dropped to the floor so he ended up with his face against the wall. He paused a second before speaking. "So, as long as you're down there."
She heard his zipper open and glanced over, turning her head away at the sight of him exposed. "Hey, everyone here has a mouth, buddy. I don't do that."
"Then what do I get?" His tone was agitated.
Jasper stood and leaned against some boxes. "What everyone else gets. You get to fuck me – that's it. No holding, no kissing, no groping – pick your position and let's go." She dug in her pocket and pulled out a wrapped condom. "Here – if you don't have one, I do."
McCoy took it and threw it across the room with a scoff. "I don't think so. Don't like how they feel."
She shook her head. "Then it's a no. I'm not exposing myself to whatever the fuck you got goin' on down there."
"It's not as if I sleep around – like some of us."
"That doesn't matter. That is one of my rules."
"You can't take me in here, get me all riled up and then tell me no!"
"Actually, I can."
"C'mon, Tiger." He grabbed her arm.
There was no way she could wrap her head around the idea of fucking him now. He was a jerk and clearly had zero respect for her. "No…no, absolutely not."
"I'll even pay you!"
Jasper's mouth opened in disbelief and disgust. She ripped her arm from his grasp. "I am not a whore, sir!"
She stormed out, slamming the door behind her. The nerve of him! How dare he act like she did this for money! She still had time before she had to turn in and took half an hour to run around the base working off her frustration and embarrassment. She should go to her command. She should tell them what happened. No, she couldn't. He was right. It would make her look bad.
She returned to her housing unit and saw her roommate was already there. "Hey, Ruby."
"We're required to do P.T. and you still go for a run?" Ruby was lying on her bed with a piece of paper in her hands.
"Helps me clear my head." Jasper opened her trunk and pulled out the container of baby wipes her mom had sent, using one to wipe her face. "News from home?"
"Sapphire sent me a care package."
Jasper nodded. Ruby had said Sapphire was just a friend, but she felt her roommate was covering something…likely a relationship that fell under the 'don't ask, don't tell' policy. "That was nice of her. Just so you know…uh…I'm pretty open-minded. Just throwing that out there."
Ruby smiled. "Thanks. Hey, she sent me all these snacks – I'll trade you two packages of Oreos for a package of those baby wipes. I should ask her to send me some but I always forget."
"One Oreos and a bag of Cheetos if you would." Jasper tossed her an unopened box of wipes. "When I told my mom they supply us with only the most quality grade sandpaper in the latrines, she started sending these." She sat on the bed, unlacing her boots and slipping them off.
"I can't wait to go home."
"This is your first deployment, right?" When Ruby answered affirmatively, Jasper continued. "It's gonna be weird. You'll probably be on leave for a while and won't know what to do with yourself. But you get to see family and friends and eat food you can't get here."
"Sounds nice."
Jasper took off her shirt and used another wipe to clean her armpits. "It is. I can't wait for my first taste of rocky road ice cream." She changed into a tank top and sleeping shorts, finally sliding into bed, folding the blanket back because it was just too hot. "I miss fans and air conditioning."
"I miss the sound of the ice cream truck." Ruby laughed. "My sisters and I would always grab our piggy banks and rush out, but he never stayed long enough for us to get there and my mom would scream: 'mija, we have ice cream in the house!' It was always Otter Pops."
Jasper laughed, the fear and humiliation of earlier melting away. "My mom said the same thing. Except she bought this knock-off ice cream called 'frozen dairy dessert' because it was cheap." She leaned her head back against the pillow feeling the exhaustion of the day creeping into her bones. She heard Ruby whispering a prayer. Jasper wasn't the praying type – she expected God knew what she wanted deep in her heart – to see her family and friends again, not to get blown up, to go home as scheduled in September…and of course, world peace. Wait…then she'd be out of a job. If world peace were achieved and the military dissolved, would I still get college money, she wondered as she drifted off.
Her eyes fluttered again when she couldn't breathe. How long had she been asleep? Something was pressing down on her and a hand was placed firmly over her mouth. No, it wasn't something…it was someone. Another hand was pulling her loose shorts aside.
Alarms went off in her head. They were under attack! Jasper reached up trying to pry the hand from her mouth and attempting to ignore the one now touching her beneath her shorts. She was not going to let some terrorist bastard do this to her! Something metal clanked against her chin as her eyes opened and she moved to push him away.
She stopped…her heart pounding wildly as she recognized the American camouflage. But it couldn't be…it couldn't be one of her own! They'd never betray her like that! Her arm fell back to the mattress as disbelief clouded her mind. The weight on her shifted, pressing closer to her and she cried out against the hand as he pushed inside of her. Her brain cleared completely, her eyes focusing on the name patch.
McCoy.
Her stomach sank and the panic was taken over completely by disbelief. She froze as he moved against her. Jasper's fingers clenched the sheets as her eyes flickered over toward the other bed where Ruby was curled up still sleeping…unaware of what was going on right next to her.
Jasper shut her eyes as she felt his breath against her skin. God, he was kissing her neck. She felt a tear slide down her face. She had told him no. She had said 'absolutely not'. She thought about all the training she had – how she could push him off and kick his ass. Her muscles stayed paralyzed when she realized he had the same training and had been in longer than she had. He could really hurt her if he wanted to. She winced as he jolted. His other hand grabbed her breast – hard. He was already hurting her.
"Slut," he whispered in her ear. "You can't dish it out to everyone else then tell me no."
The realization seeped into her: this was her fault. I should have just said yes, she told herself. None of this would be happening if I'd just agreed to it. She felt another tear fall from her eye. When was he going to be done? Just hurry up…just hurry up and finish, please.
She was suffocating…under his weight…under the gravity of this crime. His hand was pressing up against her nose making it hard to breathe. Her eyes flew open and she made strangled sounds of protest and he stopped, leaning in again. "If I move my hand, you gonna scream?"
Jasper shook her head slightly and gasped as he took his hand away and continued moving above her…against her…inside her. McCoy aggressively smashed his mouth against hers, tugging at her chin as she tried to moved away. "Open your mouth," he hissed.
His tongue pushed past her teeth. Was there any part of her body he wasn't going to violate? He was close now, she could tell by the way he was moving…his heavy breathing and grunting. His fingers dug into her shoulders and he shuddered, exhaled by her ear and relaxed. McCoy kissed her neck and her cheek, finally speaking again in hushed tones. "If you say anything, there will be consequences."
And just like that, he got up, zipped his pants and was gone almost before she could even comprehend what had just happened. In the moment, it had seemed to go on forever and she thought it wouldn't end. Now that he'd left, she had the realization that it was finally over. She wanted to scream, but it stayed lodged in her throat. She thought of all the things she'd been told to do and not to do. She shouldn't wash up or discard her clothes or even brush her teeth. She should get an exam, report it, seek counseling and get plan B.
But McCoy had said there would be consequences. She'd heard of women who had come forward about things like this only to be reprimanded, disciplined or even discharged for the most minor things. There had even been a story or two of some of them not returning from combat. She needed these men to have her back. Pointing fingers would only give them a reason to hate her. Besides, they all knew she slept around. She'd brought this on herself.
Jasper reached down and pulled the sheet back up. The area between her legs ached and she tried not to think about how her shorts were sticking to her. If she gave into this…if she called it a crime…she'd never be able to function. It was just sex…just as if she'd told him it was okay. She'd just had sex with Sergeant McCoy. Or better yet, it was all a dream – a nightmare maybe – but a dream and she'd wake up tomorrow and find it never actually happened.
She placed her trembling hand over her chest trying to calm her heart. She tried not to think about where and how he'd touched her. No, he didn't – it was just a dream, she told herself. A dream – that was it. Go to sleep.
Still telling herself that, she closed her eyes falling into a fitful sleep.
They arrived on the Marine base the following Monday and Jasper knew little about exactly what they were doing there. Sergeant McCoy had told them they'd be briefed later on the mission when they needed to be.
"You've got to be kidding me," the Marine general said as the soldiers got off the truck. "This is the best you've got? A bunch of kids barely out of diapers?" He cast a glance at Ruby. "And a woman."
"Private Diaz is one of the best combat soldiers we have," Sergeant McCoy countered. "She may be small, but…"
"Now, this is what I'm talking about." The general sauntered up to Jasper and looked her up and down. "Tall, strong, built – this is the perfect soldier, right here."
A few of her fellow soldiers snickered while Jasper felt her mouth twitch up in a smile. Taking her height into consideration, she knew it was hard to tell with all her gear on. "You do realize I'm a woman. Right, sir?"
The general looked at Sergeant Mc Coy. "A real woman?"
What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Her sergeant looked at her and gave a smile that made her feel sick. "Yes, sir, every inch."
"Taylor!" the general barked. A young Marine ran up to him. "Please take these two soldiers – Diaz and…" he squinted at Jasper's nametag. "Palamo…what is that? Hawaiian?"
"Samoan, sir."
"Ah – makes sense! We got a bunch of your people here on base – good, ol' warrior spirit!" He lightly slapped her on the shoulder then turned back to his Marine. "Show these two soldiers to a tent and then familiarize them with base."
"Yes, sir!" he answered before walking off with the two women following him. "So, forget my nametag – everyone calls me 'Chips'."
"You like regular or barbeque?" Jasper asked jokingly.
He laughed. "Like casino chips – the kind you play poker with. I'm considered lucky around here – all my times in battle – should have died, but not even a scratch. You two have nicknames?"
"Little Red," Ruby answered. "My name is Ruby, so, it's not a stretch."
"Tiger." Jasper removed her helmet and eye protection as they approached the tent, revealing the white skin marbled across her tan face, falling across her eyes and spilling onto her cheek. "I don't think I need to explain why."
"Vitiligo, right? I knew a kid in my school who had that. He had one patch that looked like a ghost on his shoulder. I think you look very…exotic."
Jasper glanced at Ruby who rolled her eyes. "Yeah, what is it with white people and that word? You know, it's not exactly a compliment."
"Something about white girls being the 'standard beauty', right?" Chips asked. "Well, I've always found white girls to be pretty boring. I like to get down with the swirl, you know."
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "I'll give you a bit of advice – that kind of talk…not a turn on."
He sucked in a sharp breath as though well aware he'd embarrassed himself. "Well, this is your tent, so…I'll leave you to get settled and then show you around."
Getting settled didn't take long as they each only had a backpack of supplies to drop by the cots provided and take off their battle gear. They rejoined Chips for a quick tour. Jasper realized their base was set up much the same as the Army's. The rest of the evening was spent in briefings about the mission, which sounded dangerous, but she was no stranger to that. She looked around at her fellow soldiers and the Marines, all of whom seemed so young, but tried not to think about what might happen tomorrow. Well, technically midnight was tomorrow, right? She wondered if she'd get much sleep before then as she walked around the base.
Chips found her and tossed an energy drink her way. "We'll need this tonight. You been in combat before?"
"This ain't my first rodeo." She popped open the drink and slurped some of it down.
"So, you're Samoan, huh?" He leaned back against the wall. "I work with, uh…"
"If you say 'some of your people' I swear to God…"
"Sorry…I mean, are you from the islands, or…"
"Never been." Jasper took another long drink, finishing it off. "I was born and raised in Washington."
"Wow. How far from the capital?"
She shook her head. "Wrong Washington – I'm based at Lewis-McChord, about an hour from Emerald City. I've never been to the other Washington. I guess there's a lot I haven't done. My mom was always very protective – didn't like me going to the city by myself…afraid I'd be murdered or something."
Chips laughed. "So, you joined the Army?!"
"Yeah, that really pissed her off." Jasper joined him in laughing.
"Well, what does she do?"
"She's a nurse – works on the OB floor at a nearby hospital…delivering babies and shit. My dad's an accountant – don't ask me for math advice though."
He snickered. "Me either. I can barely balance my checkbook."
"I don't have a checkbook. My dad would be mortified." Jasper finished off her energy drink. "He was in the Army though – during 'Nam. Yours?"
"Fuck no. My mom died when I was a kid and my dad is now a test pilot for La-Z-Boy. He sits around eating salty foods attempting to get his blood pressure as high as it'll go. He's determined to set a record or die trying." Chips finished his drink and crushed the can. "Speaking of, you know, we could die tomorrow."
"I've been trying not to think of that."
"Maybe we should spend tonight…you know…not thinking about it."
Jasper sighed. "Why do you guys always ask in the most roundabout way instead of being direct?"
"Direct – okay. I haven't seen many women in a long ass time. Definitely not any as fine as you. So, wanna fuck?"
"Well, don't get too romantic now." Jasper crushed her can in her hand and tossed it in a nearby garbage can. She couldn't forget that dream from two nights ago and the thought of someone touching her…of being on her…it made her heart pound and her stomach sink. But it wasn't as if she knew him; there was no trust to betray. She thought about what he'd said…that they could die tomorrow. He was scrawny, probably a couple of years younger – maybe twenty. Plus, she liked her men like she liked her meat – dark. Jasper rolled her eyes. She didn't date within her community and after the incident – dream – with…about…Sergeant McCoy, the thought of being with a black man didn't appeal to her either. She'd have to broaden her horizons or get used to the idea of a life alone. She looked at him again. Fine, white meat it was. "Alright, let's go."
He led her to a secluded part of the base and his hands were immediately everywhere. Jasper wanted to ask if he was an octopus…make a joke…push him away and give him her rules. But what if he didn't listen? What if he just did whatever he wanted despite her saying no? So she let him put his hands inside her shirt…under her bra. She allowed him to kiss her neck as he clumsily bucked against her in an attempt to do it standing, which was nearly impossible since he was shorter. She pulled him to the ground on top of her. Chips paused to slip on a condom and then pumped away at her. "You okay?"
"Y-yeah." She was not fine. This was a horrible idea and all she could hear was the rushing of blood in her ears and Sergeant McCoy's voice saying awful things.
"You're quiet."
"I'm fine," she insisted. Jasper tried to keep from feeling sick, instead focusing on some kind of stain on the wall and randomly moaning to make him think she was enjoying this. The way he grabbed at her and bucked wildly reminded her of some teenager having sex for the first time. Too much excitement for something that, quite honestly, was pretty lackluster. Chips finished quickly and she hoped the noises she'd made were convincing enough to pass for an orgasm.
When it was over, Chips got up and wiped sweat from his forehead. "It was good for you, too, right?"
Jasper stood and fastened her pants. "Yeah."
She'd lied. She'd never had to lie. Usually there was something she could find about the experience that was good, but this time she'd lay under him hardly able to breathe, keeping everything in so she didn't panic. What should have left her with fulfillment now made her feel hollow inside.
The night's darkness was punctuated with the flashes of gunshots and bombs. Her ears rang with the noise as she ducked behind a sand dune, bullets barely missing her. She peered over when the noise temporarily stopped and she tried to visualize the terrorists in the shadows. It didn't help that they wore black.
A loud explosion went off nearby in a flash and Jasper tilted her head down as sand rained on her. She heard someone crying out nearby and looked over to see an arm covered in Marine camouflage on the ground, separated from its owner. A scream from her left found her ears and she saw one of the large men in black clothes throwing a small soldier over his shoulder. Her heart practically leapt into her throat.
Ruby.
She was pounding on his back, kicking and flailing, but it didn't seem to bother him. Her rifle hung from her in such a way it would be impossible for her to get it. The man called out in Arabic: "Hey! I got us a woman!"
"Oh, no you didn't," Jasper said under her breath as she took aim. It was too dangerous to try and get him in the back with Ruby moving around as she was.
"Palamo, are you crazy?!" Sergeant Mc Coy was at her side. "You can't shoot him from behind – you could hit Diaz!"
Behind. Jasper smirked, lined up her scope and pumped two bullets into the man's right butt cheek. He yelped, dropping Ruby before cussing in his native language. Ruby scrambled to her feet and ran towards them. The man rolled over grabbed his own gun and fired at her. She fell to the sand. Sergeant McCoy stood, wordlessly shot the man three times in the chest until he went down then ran over, scooping Ruby up and sprinting off with her toward the medic.
Jasper saw the terrorist roll over. The bastard was probably wearing a bullet-proof vest similar to what she had on. She raised her rifle, but before she could fire, a loud explosion went off so close to her she was thrown off her feet and landed a few yards away. Her back hit the ground, her head smacking hard against the sand. The wind was knocked out of her and blackness was edging in from the corners of her eyesight.
Another bomb rocked the area and she felt the spray of sand. Something soft and warm plopped on her stomach and she felt liquid seeping into the areas of her uniform not covered by protective gear. Her eyes gazed upward, unblinking at the stars that watched her from the heavens as she heard gunshots from mere feet away. A face appeared – a terrorist, pointing a gun at her, and starting at her with intense eyes. A boot nudged her shoulder.
A rough voiced asked in Arabic: "Shall I shoot him?"
"Don't waste your bullets." The terrorist disappeared from her vision. "This one's already dead."
