Hey, this is just an idea I had floating around. Albiet it is a really big idea but eh what the hell

READ AND REVIEW!

I own neither harry potter or artemis fowl


Minerva McGonagall had to crane her neck to look into the face of the massive man who opened the door of Fowl Manor.

"Mr. Fowl?" McGonagall asked. "I am here to speak with Artemis Fowl the Second. I am from Hogwarts, I believe you received our letter."

"Master Fowl is in his study. I am Butler. Please follow me."

Minerva was ushered into a dark hall, walls hung with paintings and tapestries. Two stair cases rose up at the end of the hall, connecting the lower house with the second floor. Across the arch between the two stairways hung a black banner bearing what Minerva assumed was the Fowl coat of arms, a black hawk bearing a sword in one talon, an hour glass in the other. Below the bird was a line of latin script. Scientia Est Gladio. Knowledge is our sword.

"This way please." rumbled the massive muggle who had answered the door. He led Minerva up the left stairway and down a long dark hall. Eventually they stopped outside a magnificent oak door.

"Please wait here." the man said. He knocked sharply on the door in rapid succession.

"Yes?" came a cold voice from within.

"Master Fowl, there is a woman here to speak with you. She is the sender of the owl we received this morning."

"Show her in Butler."

The man nodded to Minerva and opened the door. A young man sat at a massive desk at the end of the room. Behind him and across all the walls were shelf after shelf of books. Behind the high backed chair the boy was sitting in hung a shield over two crossed swords bearing the Fowl insignia.

"Good morning ma'am. Please be seated. Thank you Butler." The boy gestured to a set of chairs in front of his desk. "You set up this meeting in a very unusual way Madam McGonagall. An owl is a most interesting form of communication."

"Mr. Fowl. You have been accepted at Ho..."

"I did read your letter Madam. I have a few questions for you, then we can finalize this arrangement."

McGonagall gave Artemis the most tight lipped of smiles. "Oh really? What is that?"

"One, I will need access to my computer, the internet, and an electrical power supply. I have my family's business to run, and my education, even one so extraordinary as the one you are proposing will not take precedence over my work. If this could be arranged, I would be most grateful."

"That is easily done Mr. Fowl. I think that you're studies will take up far too much of your time however for you to be able to..."

"Madam McGonagall. I am one of the greatest minds in Europe. I run one of the biggest corporations in Ireland and the British Isles. I think I can manage school work. Now before we shake hands and I become a student at your school. Give me incontrovertible proof that magic exists and that this is not some form of prank." The boy waved his hand and Minerva felt the massive muggle who had escorted her in move to stand behind her chair. He's threatening me. Not obviously, but he knows what he's doing. Dumbledore had best be right about this boy.

"Accio pen." Minerva murmured and the pen in Artemis's breast pocket flew to Minerva's hand.

"Magnificent." the boy whispered, his eyes narrowing slightly. "I believe we shall see each other again on the sixth of September."

"There is one thing Mr. Fowl. Your magic has appeared late, so you have missed your first year. If you wish we can put you with the first year class, but if you wish to cram last year's work, certain arrangements have been made to allow you to practice magic here at your home."

"I think that will be acceptable Professor. I look forward to seeing you at Hogwarts." He rose, and he and Minerva shook hands "Butler, please show Professor McGonagall to the door." Minerva shook Artemis's hand briefly, then turned towards the door.

"Sir." The man held the door open for Minerva as she swept out of the room. As she and the massive man walked to the door, Minerva spoke.

"Is Mr. Fowl always like that?"

The massive man grinned. "Oh no, that was him excited."

"Excited?"

"Yes ma'am. Master Fowl is an unusual young man."

"I gather. Good day Mr. Butler."

"Good day Madam McGonagall."

The man smiled happily as he and McGonagall shook hands, but there was an edge to the smile Minerva didn't like. The man was looking at her like a serpent, as if he was debating where he should bite first. The handshake lasted for a second to long, then the man let go. The muggle's eyes glinted in amusement at the frown Minerva gave him.

"I assume you have your transport already arranged?"

"Yes."

Without another word, the great doors of the Fowl Manor slammed shut.


Artemis was thoroughly impressed with Diagon Alley. For such a large place to be hidden behind the back wall of a seedy english pub was quite a trick. He would have to find a way to recreate the effect in the manor. Butler fidgeted behind Artemis, his hand drifting towards the Sig Sauer in his coat. His dark sunglasses covered his eyes, but Artemis could tell his companion's eyes were scanning the crowd.

Artemis and Butler watched as the images of paintings moved about, conversed with passers by, and even left their frames to go and visit the paintings beside them. Not overtly of course, outward surprise was not characteristic of Artemis Fowl. They past shops selling magical creatures, several bookstores, which Butler almost had to drag Artemis away from, and several stores selling robes which the pair vacated as swiftly as possible.

"Relax old friend. We are in no danger here."

"I don't like crowds Artemis. You're too exposed here."

"I will be fine. First order of business is funds. Gringotts is just ahead."

The pair walked briskly through the crowds, getting some angry and curious looks as the massive man moved others out of the way, sometimes bodily, of a pale, thin, young man clad in a grey muggle suit. The boy moved through the space as if he didn't notice the stares, or the none too gentle way in which his companion was clearing a path. Eventually Artemis and Butler reached the doors of Gringotts. An inscription hung over the large double doors.

"Enter, stranger, but take heed
Of what awaits the sin of greed
For those who take, but do not earn,
Must pay most dearly in their turn.
So if you seek beneath our floors
A treasure that was never yours,
Thief, you have been warned, beware
Of finding more than treasure there.
"

"How very threatening." Artemis drawled. Entering the bank, he walked past rows of counters to the end of the magnificent hall. As he walked he eyed the strange creatures that sat at the counters.

"Goblins." Artemis murmured to his bodyguard.

"Can I help you young sir?" An aged goblin at one of the counters asked.

"Yes, I would like to open an account with Gringotts"

"What amount will you be depositing as your initial deposit?"

"Two point eight million euros." The goblin coughed, thumped himself on the chest, then spoke in a wheezy voice. "Very well sir, we will need a name of course."

"Artemis Fowl II."

"Fowl? As in Cuchilain Fowle?"

"Yes. He is one of my ancestors."

"Sir! It is truly an honor! Your family already possesses a vault here at Gringotts. It is truly an honor to meet the descendant of the great Cuchilain Fowle!"

"I am sorry, I was not aware of my ancestor's connection with this bank, or of him being a wizard."

"Not only a wizard sir, but a hero to all goblin kind! He smuggled weaponry and intelligence to the goblin side at great risk to his own life and fortune. He died moving wands to a goblin force in Northern England."

"Well, that is wonderful. I am assuming that I will have access to the vault and it's contents?"

"Of course sir. Your deposit will be transferred into the vault and I will have your total funds and possessions listed and the paperwork brought up immediately. Do you have the deposit?"

Artemis nodded and placed a sleek suitcase on the counter. The goblin opened the case, inspected the contents, then passed it to a young goblin standing behind him.

"The First Vault."

"Sir?"

"Griphook, the old Fowle Vault. While you're down there, change the name to Fowl. Master Fowle's descendant has returned to Gringotts."

The young goblin bowed, then reached up to shake Artemis's hand vigorously. "It is an honor Master Fowl. My grandfather told me stories of your ancestor." The goblin rushed off.

"I am sorry about young Griphook. He, like many of us, put great stock in the old legends of the wars."

"Understandable. I would also like to discuss investment with you."

"Of course Master Fowl. Gringotts is the wizarding stock exchange in England. Shall I suggest a few smart buys?"

"No thank you, merely a regular update on all trades made every day. If there are any Gringotts shares open for purchase, take the amount from my deposit."

"Of course Master Fowl. Our finest investors and market analysts shall monitor your stock. By the way my name is Goldhammer."

"Pleasure to meet you. Now, I must be going. I have business elsewhere."

"Hogwarts?"

"Indeed. If I may ask..."

"You are a young man, this is clearly your first time in Diagon Alley, it is only natural for this to be a Hogwarts visit."

"Very astute. Good day Mr. Goldhammer."

"Good day Master Fowl.


Artemis and Butler left Gringotts feeling very accomplished.

"It appears criminality is an inherited trait Artemis." Butler smirked.

"Not criminality Butler, opportunism." Artemis snickered. "The goblins appeared quite fond of my ancestor. Those will be friends we must keep. Now, let us see about purchasing a wand."

"Looking for a wand are you?" came a cool sneering voice. Artemis turned. A blond boy was standing behind him, his face drawn up in a sneer. The sneer faded as he saw Butler loom up behind Artemis.

"Yes, I am. Could you possibly tell me the best dealer?"

"Ollivander's. Just down the street." The boy murmured, still staring at Butler.

"Draco!" a second voice came from behind the boy. A tall blond man strode up to the trio. "Ah, I see you have made a friend. Lucius Malfoy." the man offered his hand to Butler.

"Artemis Fowl II." Artemis replied. Lucius looked down in surprise. "This is Butler." Butler nodded curtly, the sunlight glinting off his glasses.

"Charmed." Lucius drawled, withdrawing his hand. "This is Draco Malfoy, my son. Are you attending Hogwarts?"

"This will be my first year."

"A bit old for a first year aren't you?"

"I was unable to attend my first year at Hogwarts. I will be in the second year when I attend."

"Excellent. Now, we must be going. Come Draco."

The blond pair strode away.

"Did you find those two as utterly repulsive as I did?" Artemis asked.

"Give me twenty minutes and a dark alley and we won't see them again." Butler murmured.

"If only. Come along."

Artemis and Butler set off again. They made their way down the street towards the store the blond boy had mentioned. The store was dark, very much like an ancient library. Artemis decided he liked the feel. Butler did not. The massive bodyguard bent his head so that he didn't bang it on the ceiling.

"Welcome young man!" hummed the store's owner, whom Artemis assumed was Ollivander. "Here for your wand?"

"Yes."

"What is your name?" Ollivander asked as a measuring tape began to fly around Artemis measuring the most random parts of his body such as his earlobes.

"Uhm Fowl." Artemis replied, trying to slap the measuring tape away as it measured his nostrils.

"Let the tape do it's work young man." Ollivander chided. "Fowl, Fowl. I remember a Cuchilain Fowle a long time ago, Oak Veela hair, his wife's I believe, thirteen inches. Very temperamental wand. Wand arm?"

"de Fole lived over two hundred years ago. How could you possibly remember him? I'm ambidextrous by the way."

In reply Ollivander merely smiled. "Let's try this one, pine, nine inches, phoenix feather."

Artemis took the wand then stared blankly at Ollivander.

"Give it a wave young man." the wand seller called, having carefully positioned himself behind the counter. Artemis waved the wand, and the shop filled with the sound of gunfire as Butler's pistol emptied it's clip into the stone wall of the store.

"No, no definitely not." Ollivander muttered, waving his wand at Butler, whose suit repaired itself.

"Artemis, I think this might be..." Butler growled nervously, examining his hand gun cautiously.

"Don't worry my boy, far worse has happened in this shop!" Ollivander called cheerily from the back of the store where he was rummaging through boxes.

"That's why I'm worried." Butler snarled. Artemis patted Butler reassuringly on the elbow (he couldn't reach his shoulder) and turned back to Ollivander who had come back with several new boxes.

"How about this one. Yew, twelve inches, unicorn hair."

The windows shattered.

"Oak, fifteen and a quarter inches, dragon heartstring."

The boxes of wands in a corner of the room flew through the air and narrowly missed Artemis and Butler as they crashed into the wall.

"Ah! How about this? Ash, thirteen inches, basilisk scale. Very rare type of wand. It's rather hard to get a scale from a basilisk."

Artemis took the wand warily, and gave it a curt swipe through the air. A brilliant blue glow filled the shop, and Artemis fancied he heard the sound of thousands of hooves.

"Excellent! Truly excellent!" Ollivander crowed. "Well Mr. Fowl, you have your wand. That will be three galleons.

Artemis paid, shook hands, then walked out, not noticing that Butler made sure to stand out of the way of the wand his employer was examining.


Upon their return to the manor, Artemis spent the days leading up to the sixth of September reading his school books and forming contacts within the wizarding community. Word had spread about the twelve year old who had walked into Gringotts and reopened the oldest and most secure wizard vault. May goblins had sent Artemis letters introducing themselves and offering advice and information about the wizard stock market and economic scene to the young genius. Artemis also received gifts from several incredibly wealthy goblins, including a ring that had belonged to Cuchilain Fowle and which bore the Fowl crest, and a great horned owl which Artemis named Bran. Cornelius Fudge, the minister of magic was surprised to enter Gringotts and be told to wait a moment as the bank manager was in a meeting with Master Fowl and would be out in a moment. It was to Fudge's even greater surprise when the man who had kept the manager of Gringotts from attending the Minister of Magic turned out to be none other than an twelve year old boy, albeit an twelve year old who spoke like a forty year old and who eyed Fudge like a bird of prey eyes a rabbit.

An uncomfortable Fudge soon received a letter from Fowl, inviting him to a dinner at the Fowl Manor. The resulting dinner both intrigued and terrified the plump minister. Artemis Fowl was brilliant. The boy addressed political and economic issues that Cornelius's teams of analysts had struggled over for years in moments. His other guests included several prominent goblins and the Irish Minister for Magic, Connor Maeveren. The boy's brilliance also terrified Fudge. In his tenure as minister, Fudge had never encountered someone who could get five of the most powerful goblins in the British Isles at his dinner table, let alone two ministers. Coupled with the fact that no one had heard of the boy before he had walked brazenly into Gringotts and become the best friend of every goblin in the building. In private, the Irish minister had conveyed similar concerns to Fudge, but the Irish Minister brought forth new horrors. In the muggle world, the name Fowl stood for organized crime. For hundreds of years, the family had toed the line of legality, many times being connected to criminal activity but never was there a way to put a Fowl on trial. Fudge's young host was the current head of the family business, Fowl Enterprises. Many criminals knew the names of the big fish, the criminals no one could touch and who everyone talked about over drinks. But when these men got around a table, the men no one could touch talked about Artemis Fowl, the man who couldn't even be seen. By the end of the evening, both ministers were having sweats, and the five goblins looked highly amused. Artemis Fowl just smirked. Fudge was reminded of a vampire.

The rest of his time was spent practicing magic. His father had only recently been rescued, and as such his mother spent most of her time at the hospital. In between visits, Artemis absorbed not only the first year curriculum, but the second and third as well. He had decided that it would be better to keep his magic away from the people, as they would most likely attempt to take this new found power away from him.


September sixth was heralded with excitement by the Fowl household. Juliet had found out what Artemis and Butler had been attempting to hide from her, and had responded with squeals of outrage and delight in equal measure. Butler spent the day prior to Artemis's departure reviewing with Artemis various means of self defense he had made his employer learn after their trip to Diagon Alley. Artemis knew Butler meant well, but the four hour a day exercise and martial arts instruction sessions had almost been to much for him to handle. Although he had to admit he filled out his suits much better now. He had finally revealed his secret to his parents, an incredibly awkward conversation which had ended in happy tears and hugs. Artemis had taken three showers when he had got home.

"Butler, inform my mother and father that I will be back for the christmas holidays, and will send them letters as often as I can. Also, please make sure that my father is informed of my recently made investments and business arrangements." Artemis drawled out his last minute instructions to Butler as the pair made their way through Kings Cross station. Artemis's grey suit fitting strangely with the crowds of communters. Butler, despite his size fit in just as well, his black suit, suitcase, and sunglasses making him look like a very scary businessman.

"Understood Artemis. Now about Platform nine and three quarters..."

"Here for Hogwarts are you?" Butler and Artemis turned. A young girl was standing beside them, her trolley carrying a large trunk.

"Yes."

"Same here. You get onto the platform by walking into the column between platforms nine and ten. I'm Hermoine Granger by the way. These are my parents." the girl waved to the man and woman standing behind her.

"Jason Granger." Hermione's father smiled brightly and offered his hand to Butler. Butler shook the hand and Mr. Granger's jaw clenched slightly.

"Butler." the bodyguard's voice was soft for a man of his size, the deep bass rumble offset by the quiet way in which it was delivered.

"Quite the grip you have there Butler! This your son's first year at Hogwarts?" Butler looked down at Artemis for a moment then smirked.

"This is my employer's first time attending the school."

"Artemis Fowl." Artemis smiled slightly. The Grangers took a step back. "See you on the train Miss. Granger. Mr. and Mrs. Granger, good day. Take care Butler."

"The same to you sir." Butler pulled Artemis in to a brief and bone crushing hug.

"Butler... I can...not breathe." Artemis gasped.

"Sorry sir."

"Don't worry old friend, the feeling was mutual." With a wave, Artemis walked briskly towards the column. As he made contact he heard Mr. Granger say;

"Fowl? As in..."

"Please do not continue that sentence sir." Butler rumbled. Artemis knew his bodyguard was grinning. "My employer prefers anonymity."

Then Artemis's ears were filled with the screech of a steam engine's horn. He was standing in a nineteen thirty-esque train station, filled with crowds similar to the ones he had seen in Diagon Alley. Children were getting on a large red train, owls hooted in their cages, and parents said teary good byes to their embarrassed children.

"Quite impressive." Butler had come through the column just behind Artemis and was taking in the train station with a small smile on his face. "Old friend, in this case I will allow you to voice the phrase you have been dying to say since this little adventure started."

"Thank you Artemis. Holy shit this is cool!" Artemis couldn't help it. He laughed as his bodyguard broke into whispered curses of amazement. The train whistle blew again.

"Time to board." Butler muttered. "Remember Artemis, regular updates."

"Yes Butler."

Artemis pulled his suitcase and Bran's owl cage onto the train, then went to look for a compartment. As he made his way past the crowds of students, he felt someone grab his arm.

"Fowl!" Artemis turned, ready to throw off the person who had grabbed him. Instead, he found himself pulled into a compartment by the same blond boy he had met at Gringgotts. "Looking for a seat?"

Artemis stared at the boy. Draco Malfoy his brain supplied. "Yes actually."

"Right this way." Artemis was have pushed, have pulled into the compartment next to him. Someone stowed his luggage, and Bran's owl cage was placed on the floor.

"I must say we got off on the wrong foot Fowl." the boy was saying. "The name's Draco Malfoy. This is Crabbe and Goyle," he gestured to two beefy boys sitting either side of him who grinned, "Pansy Parkinson," a dark haired girl with a hard face waved, "and Blaise Zabini." a tall muscular boy nodded.

"Artemis Fowl II, charmed."

"My father's told me some interesting things about you Fowl," Malfoy smirked. "Apparently you had the Minister For Magic over for dinner this summer."

"I had a meeting with the Minister." Artemis replied neutrally.

"How does an twelve year old get the Minister For Magic to sit at his dinner table?" Blaise asked.

"It's not so hard." Artemis smiled like a vampire, making the other five occupants of the compartment lean away slightly. "Money does strange things."

"Ah, thought so. Fudge always wants to line his pockets. It's why father's been so close to him for all these years."

"Oh no, I didn't give him money, I threatened to take it away." Artemis's smile grew wider. "There is something to be said for being a close friend to the Gringotts Board of Directors."

The train lurched. "Ah, we're on our way." Blaise grinned. "What house are you by the way?"

"Not sure honestly, I didn't attend last year so I will be sorted with the rest of the first year students, but will be in the second year class."

"Hope for Slytherin dear boy," Malfoy smirked. "by far the best house."

"So I've been told."

The train ride past on in comfortable conversation, Artemis using the time to sound out his five new acquaintances. Artemis's owl Bran, spent the train ride sleeping. It was obvious to Artemis where the power in the little group of Slytherins lay. Draco Malfoy. By virtue of a wealthy and influential father, Malfoy had the influence to rule his year like a proverbial king. Artemis would have to change that. The boy was clearly a suck up, his initial dislike at Gringotts fogotten once he learned Artemis was influential. Not a person Artemis was interested in. Crabbe and Goyle were utter morons, Pansy Parkinson followed Malfoy like the plague, but Blaise was interesting. He didn't follow Malfoy's every lead, and wasn't impressed by Malfoy's boasting. Artemis could use such a person.


When the train finally stopped, Artemis was jostled through the corridor, out onto the station platform. Several students stepped on his feet and were rewarded with swift slaps to the ear that left six or seven bewildered students very annoyed.

"New students over ere!" boomed a cheery voice. A gigantic shape loomed up from the darkness. It was a giant man, face covered in wild hair and large beard, his leather coat ratty and worn. Artemis estimated his height at ten feet, definitely not a normal size for a human being. The giant man waited till all the new students were around him before continuing. "M name's Rubeus Hagrid, keeer of Key n Grounds at Hogwarts. We're gonna cross over the lake an then ye'll be sorted inter yer houses."

Artemis had a boat to himself, his glare scaring away one eager looking first year with a camera who tried to climb aboard, nearly capsizing the small vessel. As the boats moved on their own across the lake, Artemis looked up in something akin to awe. The school was a giant castle, tall towers reaching high into the night sky. Hundreds of windows glowed in the darkness. The boats pulled up, and Hagrid led the new students inside. They passed through a high ceilinged chamber, and into a hall filled with people. Hundreds of students watched as the new student's entered. Big school was the first though Artemis had. Magic ceiling was his second. The brightest mind in Europe stared in amazement at the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall through the sorting of the new students waiting to be sorted. It was rather uncomfortable, as he stood easily a head taller than the largest of them, and his lack of robes made him stand out even more. A hat sat on a stool at the end of the hall, and to Artemis's surprise it began to move. A face appeared in the hat, and to Artemis's further amazement, began to sing. The song went on for a few minutes, and went over the four houses and their respective traits. Artemis found himself gritting his teeth as the ridiculous song forced it's way into his ears. When the hat fell silent, the students at the four tables applauded, and Professor McGonagall walked forwards.

Then the Sorting began. Each new student was called up one at a time by Professor Mcgonagall, and the ragged hat was placed on their head. The hat would then bawl out the name of one of the four houses and the student would be sent skipping off to their new house.

"Fowl, Artemis!" He approached the stool on which the house sat warily, and closed his eyes as the hat slid onto his head.

"Hmm, my god you're clever. I don't think a smarter young person has ever put me on." the hat snickered.

Thank you. Artemis thought

"Nasty history though. Not entirely legal either."

How should I respond?

"Don't bother. I know what I'm doing. You could be Slytherin or Ravenclaw. Hmm, bit to ruthless for Ravenclaw."

Decide or I will set you on fire.

"SLYTHERIN!" the hat screamed. Yep only a Slytherin would say something like that.

Artemis made his way to the Slytherin table to cheers from the Slytherins, and boos from the Gryffindor table.

"Welcome to Slytherin!" Malfoy grinned "home of Hogwarts finest!"

"Really? Then why are you sitting at this table?" Artemis murmured. Malfoy's face darkened angrily, but the majority of the students at the table laughed. Popularity is not loyalty Mr. Malfoy. Artemis smirked. A lesson I plan to teach you.

Artemis ignored Malfoy's grumbling as food appeared from nowhere in front of him. As he served himself, Artemis decided that for the first time in his life, he was going to find school interesting.


The first day of classes was to say the least amusing. His first class was transfiguration, a class the Slytherins shared with the Gryffindors. Artemis arrived early at Professor Mcgonagall's request. The classroom was filled with animal cages, and at the center of the mess of desks, cages, animals, and papers stood the tall, thin, and stern Minerva McGonagall.

"Good morning professor."

"Good morning Mr. Fowl. So, show me what you learned over the summer. If you can, turn this pin into a tea cup."

Artemis waved his wand at the pin on McGonagall's desk. A china tea cup appeared, complete with the Slytherin crest.

"Back again if you please."

The pin appeared once more. "Well done Mr. Fowl. Twenty points to Slytherin for a masterful transformation."

By now the rest of the class had filed in, and Artemis took a seat at the rear of the class beside Blaise.

"What did McGonagall want?" Blaise whispered.

"I had to cram last years curriculum. She wanted to see how much I knew." Artemis replied.

"Who can tell me what a switching spell is?" McGonagall asked. Artemis's hand lifted slightly from his desk, just before a girl in Gryffindor robes hand shot into the air.

"Yes Mr. Fowl?"

"A spell which switches one characteristic of an object with a characteristic of another object."

"Correct, five points to Slytherin. Today we will be switching the head of a nail with the head of a pin and vice versa. Please begin."

As the students drew out their wands, McGonagall walked up to Artemis and bent forward to speak with him. "I'm rather impressed with your wand work Mr. Fowl. If you would like to come in later, we can give you a test to see if you qualify for the advanced classes."

"Thank you professor." Artemis said surprised.

"Your welcome Mr. Fowl." McGonagall gave Artemis a nod then moved away to help another student.

"Did McGonagall just compliment you Fowl?" Blaise asked.

"Apparently."

"Blimey. She never gives out compliments. You must be really good at Transfiguration."

"Being a genius helps." Artemis gave Blaise his vampire smile, and with a wave of his wand, the heads of his nail and pin switched.


By the time the bell rang for the end of class, Slytherin was up fifty points, and the Slytherins were muttering to each other about Artemis's skill in transfiguration. Charms went the same way. Little professor Flitwick clapped delightedly when Artemis had made the mouse they were practicing engorgment charms on grow to the size of a jack russel terrier. That class ended with Slytherin up thirty more points. Potions was the best class by far. Snape, delighted that he no longer needed to call on Hermione Granger, simply bounced questions off Artemis for the first five minutes of class. Out of the entire class, only Artemis and Hermione's sleeping draughts were made correctly.

"Mr. Fowl, wait a moment please." Snape called as the bell rang.

"Yes professor?"

"I confess Fowl, that I am amazed that a boy who only just began his magical education this year could be so advanced."

"I have always been good at chemistry Professor. Potions are very similar."

"Chemistry?"

"Muggle version of postions. The study of chemicals and substances and how they interact with each other."

"Fascinating." Snape drawled. "Well Fowl, I would greatly appreciate you coming to my office on say Sunday afternoon. It is rare that I have a student as gifted as yourself, and, chemistry you called it, sounds most interesting."

"Of course Professor."

"Very well. To lunch with you Mr. Fowl. Well done on those hundred and forty points for Slytherin by the way."

"Thanks professor."

Artemis nodded to Snape and walked out of his office.


"You're actually a genius?" Blaise asked as he and Artemis sat with the rest of the Slytherins at dinner.

"I'm one of the smartest people in Europe."

"No wonder you're so good at magic." Pansy Parkinson murmured. "You're just so smart."

"Mind your hand Miss Parkinson!" Artemis snapped. Pansy jerked back as Artemis's owl Bran snapped at her fingers before hooting irritably at Artemis and flying back out of the hall, buffeting Artemis with his wings as he went.

"Thanks Artemis." Pansy smiled at Artemis gratefully.

"Your welcome Miss. Parkinson." Artemis replied, not paying attention to the small cluster of Slytherins who had gathered around him. He was leafing through the remainder of the mail he had received that morning. All his stocks were up, and he had received an invitation to the Malfoy Manor and a second to have lunch with the Head Master. The Malfoys were unlikely to find Artemis at their table anytime soon, so Artemis gracefully declined, and wrote an acceptance letter to the Headmaster.

"Who gets that much mail?" A redheaded boy in Gryffindor robes asked as he passed the table.

"Someone with an intellect." Artemis retorted.

"Calling me stupid are you?" the boy snarled, reaching for his wand. A black haired boy grabbed his arm. "Ron, leave it!"

"The brilliance of Gryffindor never ceases to amaze me." Artemis drawled, his voice dripping sarcasm. "Such a penetrating mind. Tell me, did your mother drop you on your head when you were a child or are you just naturally this inept?"

"Why you..."

"Leave it Ron!" the black haired boy snapped. "He's not worth it!"

"Stupid Irish Git!" the red haired boy snarled as the pair walked off.

"Who were those two?" Artemis asked Blaise.

"Ron Weasley and Harry Potter." Malfoy snarled from across the table. "Mudblood lover and blood traitor."

"Harry Potter? The survivor of the killing curse?"

"That's the one. Ended the Dark Lord's reign they say."

"Hmm. Unimpressive but interesting. I'm taking this to the Library. It's far to loud in here."

"See you later Artemis." Blaise called.

"Later Fowl!" Malfoy drawled. Crabbe and Goyle just waved. Artemis grimaced. Suck ups and morons. It was a shame. He had hoped for some competition.


The first month of school went by quickly. Artemis was placed in all available advanced classes, and even then, he set the curve. He was rapidly becoming a treasure to his fellow Slytherins, a person they could go to if they needed anything. He ended up tutoring several Slytherins in the common room every evening, and helping with homework in the library after classes. His teachers were very impressed. Artemis purchased for Professor Snape a textbook on chemistry, and Artemis had seen the professor reading the text at breakfast. McGonagall was equally pleased, even favoring Artemis with a small smile when he turned a wine glass into a raven. The only faculty member Artemis was avoiding like a dangerous disease was professor Lockhart, the defense against the dark arts teacher, and in Artemis's opinion, a complete first class had been a disaster, and the rest had not been much better. The professor spent most of his time talking about his books and his achievements rather than teaching. He was so deaf to the world during his monologues, that he didn't notice Artemis stand up with a sigh of frustration, pick up his bags, and walk out of the class room.

His meeting with professor Dumbledore was far more interesting however. The Headmaster appeared to be nothing more than a genial old man, but Artemis could almost feel the man's brilliance. He had spent a very pleasant Sunday talking with the Headmaster about the arrangements he had made with Professor McGonagall, and about his classes. The old man definitely knew about the letters Artemis was receiving, and he was sure the Headmaster also knew the contents. The professor had dropped hints about Artemis's business through out the meeting, and Artemis had actually felt uncomfortable at one point. He was being given access to electronics, and Butler would be coming to the school for a few days at Artemis's request. Artemis felt rather alone without Butler at his side. Artemis's pretense to his parents was that Butler needed to bring several things over.

He was sitting in the library one day when he looked up and found himself surrounded by three Gryffindors. Damn.

"How are you so good at magic?" Hermione Granger asked, hands on her hips.

"I'm a genius."

"Your a git you mean." Ron Weasley retorted.

"Did you come here just to annoy me, or did you have a purpose?"

"Look," the black haired boy whom Artemis assumed was Harry Potter said "Hermione wants you to tutor her."

"Sure."

"Wait you will?" Hermione glared at Artemis suspiciously.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you're a Slytherin and a git." Ron Weasley replied.

"And you are a Gryffindor and mentally deficient." Artemis retorted. "Miss Granger, meet me here at four o clock after classes."