Apprehension filled me as I raised my fist for what felt like the millionth time (but was really my sixth) at trying to find the courage to knock on my mother's front door.

It looked like my mom hadn't changed much since I had left. Just about everything looked the same, which tickled me to the point that I wanted to laugh, but I was so terrified I couldn't bring myself to do it. Finally I dropped my hand back down to my side and rubbed my now sweaty palm against the edge of my shorts.

This was getting ridiculous. I mean she was my mother it wasn't like she was going to turn me away on sight…right?

Indecision was filling me the more I stood there on that front step in what felt like purgatory of either knocking on that door and getting this over with or finally deciding to run back to my car with my tail between my legs. Bringing my fingers up to my mouth I began to bit off what little bit of the nails that I had left while rocking back and forth on my booted heels.

Glancing down at the welcome mat one last time I let out a groan as I turned fast on my heels and made a speedy escape back towards my 67' Impala. My baby hadn't been much to look at in the beginning, and she still wasn't much of a looker now even, but ever so slowly whenever I could get the money I would fix her up. One day the world would see her the way I did.

As soon as I reached my car my hand shot out fast to take hold of the handle and quickly had it open. The door gave out a loud creak of disapproval as I all but furiously swung my duffel bag through the door with it slamming into the passenger's side. I was just about ready to jump right in beside my bag when the sound of the driver's door creaking stopped me dead in my tracks. I felt like my own car was calling me a coward.

"Oh what do you know?" I snapped.

I know it was the wind that blew against the door causing it to creak once more but for some reason my brain took it as it was replying back. Calling me a coward once more.

Uncertainty began to fill me as the anxiety began to tingle at the tips of my toes working its way slowly further up. I really was acting like a coward and that's not what I had come here to do.

"Fuck!"

Slamming the door shut I began to slowly pace back and forth in front of it running my hands through my hair and at moments gripping it tight, like the small tugs I gave here and there were the only things keeping me grounded. It shouldn't have been this hard and maybe I was just overreacting.

Maybe…possibly. Oh hell who knows?

The sun was already beginning to go down turning the sky into a huge abstract painting filled with oranges, purple, and pink hues that turned to a deep red if you looked at it right. Even with the sun going down like it was it was still fuckin' hot outside. The downside of living in Vegas, I suppose.

Letting out a heavy breath I finally released my hair deciding that a good thing to calm my nerves would be a nice, soothing Marlboro red. My roots were incredibly thankful for the intervention. Reaching into my back pocket I had the pack out quickly, pulled one out, and had it light all with a swiftness that would have impressed anyone who would have watched.

It could have been part of an act of that Magician Peter Vincent's I saw a billboard for on the way in. He looked like a Russell Brand knock off to me.

I took in a heavy drag and felt my muscles begin to relax as I blew out the venomous smoke from between my lips. The neighborhood looked almost exactly the same way it had when I left, except the house on the right didn't look like it belonged to the Perry's anymore. No, with a big ass green dumpster in the front looking like a giant eyesore; I knew the Perry's no longer lived there. The neighbors I had grown up with were now gone. Taking in another drag of my smoke I eyed the green monstrosity that no doubt had my mom pulling her hair out from the root.

With each passing drag it ebbed away the anxiety that had threatened to consume me barely a few minutes before.

It had been close to five years since I had left here; left them. I could admit now that I was terrified of my mother's reaction when she saw me. We hadn't left things on the best terms and we never got a chance to try and make things right between us. In the middle of the night, at the fresh age of 17, I snuck out of my house for the last time and never came back. Only leaving a single note on the sheets on my bed for her to read. I'd crept into Charley's room while he slept and gave him one last sisterly kiss on his forehead (the kind he used to love to wipe away quickly in disgust) and left his note on his nightstand for him to find.

Charley.

I tried all these years to not think about him but no matter what he was the one I'd felt like I'd betrayed. He'd barely turned 14 when I had ducked out. Barely two years shy of when our dad had left. To let myself sleep at night I tried reasoning that no one understood me and only wanted to persecute me and say I was going nowhere but to a life of going in and out of jail. Who knows, maybe they were right, but no one showed me any faith that I could get better. Not even my own mother believed that I could change. I still remembered the night she told me she'd stopped hoping because every time her hopes rose just a little bit I always did something to send them down in flames.

But in reality the one person I felt like I had let down and betrayed was Charley. Would he even want to see me?

Running a now shaky hand through my hair I took one last drag of my smoke before I tossed it out eyeing the green monster one more time.

My curiosity was peaked and of course it had to be sated so without further thought that I might look like a creeper snooping around someone's property; I officially decided to go have myself a look. If worst came to worse maybe I could lie and say I was with the Department of Environmental Health. Yeah…dressed in cut-off shorts, a black v-neck, and a maroon colored leather jacket with motorcycle boots?

Yeah not likely but was worth a shot.

I looked both ways making sure that the coast was clear. I only spotted one person out and she was too busy struggling to keep the groceries in her arms from tumbling to the ground. I'm sure a strange girl looking in a giant green dumpster would be the least of her worries.

I quickly made my way across the street, checking on the woman one last time; my paranoia was getting to me. Gripping the edges of the dumpster I made sure my boots had proper footing on the bottom ledge before I hoisted myself up, wrapping my forearms tight to the ledge to make sure I didn't go flying back like a dumbass.

My face scrunched into deep thought and confusion as I examined the contents of this new neighbors dumpster. Dirt, some long boards, and lots of cement littered the large container.

What the fuck was this dude doing? If mom knew what was in here I think she'd flip her shit.

As I continued to examine the dumpster something that was covered in dirt caught my eye. Leaning closer I tried to make it out but it was still too covered in dirt for me to really be able to tell what it was. I didn't have the longest arms in the world but I figure if I could get my stomach half way on the ledge I would probably be able to not only move some of the dirt out of the way but also possibly grab it. As I began to get ready to maneuver myself for the jump I paused halfway realizing I was now going way past snooping and heading fast into invasion of privacy.

So maybe I needed to weigh my options a little more closely. But when I glanced back into that stupid dumpster and at what looked like an ivory colored object, my curiosity overruled my logic.

Without letting myself think about it anymore, lest I change my mind; I quickly hoisted my stomach onto the ledge and stretched my arm out. Apparently my balance was shit because half of the battle became me trying not to fall into the dumpster itself. I stretched my arm out farther wishing that it would just grow a few more inches just so I could get to the ivory object and be done with it. Biting down on my lip I did a mini jump forward hoping maybe it would give me the few extra inches I needed.

"Woo shit!"

I barely caught myself before I went face first into a very jagged piece of cement. It should not be this difficult to get to one stupid little object. Letting out a huff of frustration I just took the extra inches I'd fallen in as a blessing and reached out with a little more zealous. I was going to find out what that object was if it was the last damn thing I did. I was even starting to make those embarrassing straining noises that reminded me of constipated people.

Just great.

It seemed that me falling in was all the push I needed because as I wiggled my fingers they now danced across the cement and dirt that dusted across the object. Finally!

My heart began to race with satisfaction as a pleased smile slid across my face.

"Just a little more…" I mumbled.

Suddenly a very loud ringing noise sounded beside me and with a scream I dropped back off the dumpster stumbling to my feet with my knee connecting into its corner.

"Damn it!"

Now I felt stupid. It was only my damn cell phone. I reached into the front of my shorts and quickly pulled it out; answering it immediately.

"Yeah?"

"Bitch! How is your goddamn family reunion going? Is it everything you dreamed?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at the sound of LaLa's voice. He was going to be the only thing I was going to miss about Mississippi.

"Not quite. I haven't exactly knocked on the door yet."

Pursing my lips together my fingers began to fidget with the edges of my jacket as I looked around the neighborhood…again.

"You mean you ain't in Vegas yet?" he asked cautiously.

"No I'm in Vegas."

He grew quiet on his side causing me to take the phone from my ear briefly just to make sure he was still there.

"You are at the house aren't you?"

"Yeah you could say that," I mumbled sheepishly.

"Bitch either you is there or you isn't!"

"Oh fine you whore I'm here!"

"Then what the fuck you doing standing with your thumb stuck up your ass standing outside?"

"Uhm…"

I looked wildly around to see if he was maybe parked somewhere or if he could somehow see me.

"How'd you know I was standing outside?"

"You mean to tell me you haven't been inside the goddamn house yet?"

I could feel myself getting ready to pout.

"You say goddamn too much and I don't even know if anyone's home."

I stood up a little straighter putting confidence in my lie so maybe even I could believe it without my pride being wounded.

"I'll say goddamn however many goddamn times I feel like it. So what have you been doing, then?"

"Geez moody much," he's reply was a scoff most likely at my rather lame reply. "I tried knocking a few times then gave up and decided to look in my mom's new neighbor's huge green monster of a dumpster."

"Bitch, you mean to tell me instead of just knocking on the fucking door you decided it would be better for you to go dumpster diving?"

"Hey, hey now I wasn't dumpster diving. I was-"

"Being a snoopy bitch?" he interjected.

It was my turn to scoff.

"Uh no! Okay...maybe. Fine, yes. Whatever!"

His deep chuckling filled my ears when suddenly I heard a light buzzing noise fill the silence around me. My eyebrows drew together as I glanced around looking for the new noise when I saw the garage door of my mom's new neighbor, who's dumpster I had just been trying to dig through and was standing in the middle of their driveway, had been opening and was now about halfway open.

My eyes widened as I caught sight of booted feet with what looked like muscular legs attached to them coming my way.

"Shit, shit!"

Instantly I began to back pedal towards my Impala. Although I realize that if I saw his legs than he had to have seen mine. Here's to hoping he hadn't.

"Girlfriend what the fuck is you going on about? You get caught diving in the neighbors dumpster," he snickered.

Mimicking him I nearly sprinted the last couple of feet to my car and just about falling on my ass in the process. My feet went sliding against the loose gravel and let me tell you, motorcycle boots were not made with traction in mind. In the end I had to make an executive decision: It was either ditch the phone or land on my ass. I went with option one naturally.

Instinctively I let it go as my hands shot out hastily to grab a hold of my door handle to keep me grounded. Once my near falling on my ass episode was over I took a second to straighten out my jacket and surveying the area to make sure that no one else had seen. Faintly in the background I could hear LaLa calling and screaming for me as if I was dying. Bending down I swiftly picked up my phone.

"I'm here you whore and for your information I almost busted my ass right now trying to get off of the guys driveway."

Oh shit! How could I have totally forgotten the reason I almost fell in the first place? With my hand now clutching hard onto my phone I turned back towards the driveway that I had descended no doubt looking like a criminal. Who I saw standing there not only made me swallow hard but also began to make my heart flutter and not just from embarrassment. The guy who had taken over the Perry's old house was fucking hot! The Perry's be damned!

It was as if clarifying that little bit of information instantly made my cheeks heat up at the idea that the hottest neighbor my mom had ever had not only watched me run off his driveway but almost busted my ass. This was just super.

"Bitch I can hear you breathing."

"You will not fucking believe how hot my mom's neighbor is!" I whispered fiercely into the phone.

He was standing just barely a few inches out from his garage wiping his dirty hands on a rag. I wasn't really paying too much attention to his hands, although they were gorgeous, but more or less the way his muscles flexed with every movement he made with them. I so badly wanted to give a nice heavy sigh of content but realized he was staring directly at me with some of the most dramatically dark but illuminating eyes I had ever seen. And like a damn jackass what did I do? Instead of doing anything else that would have been sensual or mysterious I felt my hand fly up, waving fast, and a small voice that I believe was mine squeak out, "Hi!"

"Oh no she fuckin' didn't," LaLa moaned in disbelief.

If I could I would've slapped myself hard; my palm to my face. But he was still watching and what surprised the shit out of me was a smile light his face and he gave me a slight wave back. It didn't look like it suited him more like he had strained to do it but nonetheless he had done it back. My heart was swooning like a fucking 5 year old when she was the princess and got kissed by the prince in Kindergarten.

"Oh my fucking god LaLa! You don't even know! Holy fuck even his ass is cute!"

I watched like a hawk as he turned quickly on his heel with my eyes glued to his ass until he disappeared back into the dimly lit garage. Seconds later he came back out wheeling a wheel burl, set it down, and went to work on putting the ramp down from the dumpster.

"Why doesn't your lazy ass send me a picture of this perfect creature of masculinity?" he teased.

"Don't you think I'll look weird taking a picture of him?"

"You just went dumpster diving in the man's trash. How much weirder could he possibly think you are?"

"Shut up," I grumbled.

"Just take me a damn picture. If he's hot enough maybe I'll come down and visit."

"I saw him first so I call dibs."

"Doesn't matter because when he gets a taste of this sweet fine chocolate he isn't gonna want your caramel stick to you everywhere bullshit."

I didn't even know what to say back to that so I just rolled my eyes and took the phone away from my ear to go into my settings and get my camera ready. I was still debating on whether or not I should even be nice enough to take a picture for him to see. I took a few cautious steps closer with my heart pounding so hard in my chest I thought I was going to pass out. I hoped to god he didn't decide to randomly look up right when I was about to snap a picture of him. Without even looking I quickly snapped the picture and turned my back towards him my heart seeming to pound even harder even though I had just taken the picture.

"I got your damn picture, hoochie."

I couldn't hear what he said next because all I could hear was the very loud sound of girls' laughter and the blaring music that followed. I turned in the direction of the origin of the noise and sure enough 3 girls sat laughing in a green Volkswagen Beetle while a boy in jeans and a black and red plaid button up hoped out of the back grabbing his back pack as he spoke to the girls. Rolling my eyes I looked away from the teenage scene of hormones at its best.

"So you going to go talk to him?"

Funny how he sounded bored now.

"Talk to whom?"

"The hot neighbor!"

"Oh…probably not."

"Why the fuck not?" he spat making me cringe just a wee bit at the irritation that had been laced in every word.

I shrugged but realized a second later he couldn't see it.

"He's undeniably hot I will give you that but a guy that hot has got to have a girlfriend already and if he doesn't then he's a player. I don't need to get mixed up with anymore bad boy slash player slash whatever the hell he might be."

"You are fucking ridiculous! You do know that it seriously fucks with my head when I hear you say stupid shit like this right?"

Rolling my eyes I began to kick the little pebbles of asphalt away, my left hand tucked underneath my elbow as I listened to him bitch some more about how much of a pussy I was. I wasn't a pussy I was just cautious. A cautious pussy was a safe pussy if you ask me.

"Kaylee?"

My name had been said so light I had barely heard it over LaLa's ongoing rant. Turning back towards my mother's house there stood the boy who had exited the Beetle that had apparently driven off. Shows how much I had been paying attention. The look in the boy's eyes was a mixture of hope, wonder, and relief but underneath all that was this stinging look of anguish. Gradually I could feel my arms, everything, just shutting down around me as it finally began to hit me who it was that was standing there in front of me.

"LaLa I'm gonna have to call you back."

I didn't wait for a reply as I swiftly turned off my phone and set it into my pocket and stared back at the guy standing in front of me. He didn't look the same at all and it seemed since I had left that he had not only gotten taller but had filled out a little here and there. Even getting what looked to be muscle tone in his arms that used to be limp as noodles. He took a few steps towards me and I did the same; it only seemed fair.

We stood there in what felt like an eternity in silence just staring at the other not knowing what to say.

"You got big," I barely got out.

My voice was shaky with the beginnings of the hysteric laughter that I got when I was about to cry. It was something that I hated but at this moment I didn't care. Charley didn't really say anything back to me just nodded his head so much that I was beginning to imagine a bobble head standing in front of me. As I opened my mouth to try something else in one swift motion he dropped his bag down and rushed towards me and engulfed me into his arms. At first I didn't know what to do. I stood there in what felt like limbo with my arms spread wide and my body stiff from shock. I had imagined and expected a lot of things from Charley but I had never expected this.

Finally little by little I embraced him and as if he had been waiting for that confirmation alone he squeezed me tighter to him. I could feel his tears wetting my hair as he tried to contain himself. Putting my face into his shoulder he tried whisper to me but his voice broke a few times before he finally got out, "I have missed you so much."

This time it was my turn to squeeze him just a little harder as I fought to contain my own tears.

"I've missed you too Charley," I barely got out.

Looking over his shoulder I saw that new neighbor watching our exchange with such intensity that it almost felt like an intrusion, but a weird eerie feeling came over me as I watched him as he remained still like a marble statue. Those black eyes observing; looking cruel.

"I've missed you too."