Chapter 1

In the year 1999 the Millennium organization, a Nazi occult science group which had survived in South America, surfaced. Using technology, they had duplicated a race of monsters that has preyed on mankind since the beginning of history, the undead. Vampires, heading armies of semi-intelligent mobile corpses known as ghouls, made high profile attacks throughout the world.

Two organizations, existing in opposition but concurrent in purpose, opposed them in Europe. The Royal Order of Protestant Knights, also known as the Hellsing Organization, and Vatican Operations Section XIII, also known as Iscariot.

The matter came to a head in the invasion of London shortly before the turn of the century. The majority of forces involved perished, including the Hellsing Organization's most powerful weapon, a vampire under their control known as Alucard. This being was known in life as the Wallachian noble Vlad "the impaler" Tepes, better known as Dracula and one of the most powerful undead to have ever existed.

Humanity, now aware at large of the existence of the undead, rallied their nations and purged the vampires and ghouls within their ranks. Under the newly created UN organization called GEHIRN, the effort to exterminate the final predators of humanity began. Within a year those vampires that were not controlled by a human led force had been nearly wiped out. Those that remained outside human control were now the prey.

In August of 2001, a discovery was made beneath the Antarctic ice. An immense being, theorized by some to be the origin of the undead on Earth, had been found. This being, which became known as the vampire Adam was dormant at its discovery, but after it was uncovered signs of unlife began to return.

In September of that same year a contact experiment was attempted, utilizing a holy weapon known as the Spear of Destiny. The objective of the experiment was to neutralize Adam. Contact instead resulted in an event known as Second Impact, also known as the Second Great Flood. The Antarctic ice melted in an instant, raising sea levels and killing nearly two billion by drowning and the destruction rent by worldwide tidal waves.

This was to only be the start of a new, dark, chapter for humanity. Within days, vampires and ghouls began to reemerge. Those bodies which had been recovered where quickly burned, but the unrecovered hundreds of millions held a potential army beneath the waves, the likes of which the world had never seen.

GEHIRN was reorganized as UN NERV, in which was trusted the organization of resistance against the undead which now plagued humanity in a way not seen in recorded history. NERV was successful in organizing the retaking of much of the remaining land of the planet, however Africa and Europe remain lost to the undead.

As humanity rallied, new and terrible forms of the dead emerged the likes of which had not seen before. The worst of these became known as Angels. Vast gestalts of putrid flesh, theorized to be the result of several hundred thousand corpses being fused into a single creature. After the first was dispatched through use of several thermonuclear weapons, a new solution was needed.

In 2006, a ritual was conducted by the remnants of the Hellsing Organization and a small faction of NERV personnel who believed in their methods of combating the undead using the undead. This ritual involved all recovered articles of the vampire Alucard as well as a large quantity of virgin blood, the vampire Alucard's only progeny, and a young male child.

The exact procedures of the ritual are unknown, however all involved, but for Sir Integra Hellsing and the remaining controlled vampire, perished including the child's mother. Both have refused to divulge the content or intent of the ritual, leveraging their continued utility in exterminating the undead threat to avoid prosecution.

The result of the experiment was a vampire borne of the body of the child. This vampire was found to be in possession of the many magical and technological enhancements made to the vampire Alucard during its use by the Hellsing Organization, leading many to believe the ritual was meant to resurrect the organization's most potent weapon. The vampire was declared property of the Hellsing Organization and put into their custody.

The year is 2014. Sir Hellsing has died and willed the vampir,e known in life as Shinji Ikari, to UN NERV on the condition that they provide a suitable candidate to serve as the creature's master.

This is the story of the Vampire and his master as they seek to end the undead threat to humanity.

Captain Misato Katsuragi of NERV strode through the emptied town. All of the inhabitants had been evacuated to provide a buffer zone around the arrival site. Military vehicles and heavily armed soldiers filled the streets. NERV VTOLs patrolled the skies and the prepared landing site, a grassy municipal baseball diamond, was lit by a dozen spotlights.

Misato heard the sound of helicopter blades and hurried to the field's edge. All NERV aircraft used the tilting jet design, which meant any helicopter in the area had to be their delivery. As it came down into the field of light, she could see it was a Russian model, one of their large cargo haulers that resembled the flying tank that was the Hind gunship. She had heard Hellsing had been hiding out with the Russians.

As the helicopter set down, it brought with it a hurricane of dust, and Misato raised her jacket around her nose and mouth. She could see soldiers in black dismounting from the huge helo. On their shoulders was the quartered red and black badge of Hellsing.

One soldier, apparently the leader, pointed at her and beckoned for her to approach. As she walked towards the aircraft, the blades were coming to a stop.

"Captain Katsuragi?" The man asked in a Russian accent. A balaclava covered his face and Misato could see only his eyes.

Misato nodded and held up her NERV ID. The man pointed towards the rear of the chopper, where the large cargo ramp was opening. She nodded again and began to walk towards the ramp. Despite all the lights, she could see nothing but inky blackness past the door. She stood one step away from the ramp and looked to the man who had called her over. He only nodded and she sighed then took a deep breath before stepping into the darkness.

Misato knew she should have heard the sound of her heels on metal deckplate. She should not be hearing the dull tock of the stout heels hitting hardwood. She should not be smelling cigar smoke and alcohol. She should not be seeing a dark barroom with a single occupant seated at the single table and a band of identical men to the one at the table, all dressed in dark grey suits with red shirts and ties, playing deep, thrombing jazz. And yet, she heard, smelt, and saw all of these things as if they were perfectly real.

The man at the table held up a white gloved hand and beckoned for her to come and sit. She had been shown pictures of the vampire and this man looked nothing like the asian teenager she had been sent to collect. He was tall, unganly so, and had long black hair and noble European features. Despite the darkness, he wore sunglasses.

"Cease the illusion vampire." She said and stood beside the table.

"Command is something you will soon possess, but for now, yours is to listen…" The man said and waved two fingers. Misato found herself thrust into a chair, which rocked back before all four legs settled on the floor as if held there.

"…and obey."

The man took a sip from a wine glass, which Misato was sure was not filled with wine, before speaking again.

"You are the candidate to be our master?"

"Yes."

"Do you fulfill the criteria?"

"Yes" She responded again. The criteria he spoke of, more than anything, had put her in this position. Simply put, she was the highest-ranking female officer in NERV who was a virgin and single. She liked to attribute both to the massive injuries she had received as an up-close-and-personal witness to the second great flood. A piece of shrapnel the size of a dinner plate had cut her from just below her breast down to her tailbone. She was a virgin by virtue of the fact that "down there" had been repaired to function to remove waste and there wasn't anything left to do anything else.

She still had feelings and emotions of course, strong ones, just romantic relationships too often had trouble getting past the state of her body. That enjoyable sex was not even really a possibility did not help matters.

"Have you ever considered the possibility of eternal life, m'lady?"

"Yes." She responded. It was part and parcel to hunting the undead. It was the prisoner's dilemma that allowed them to continue for millennia. Despite eternal damnation, someone was always willing to take the deal. It was pointless to tell people not to think about it, everyone did. It was having the fortitude not to keep thinking about it.

"And what did you think of it?"

"I found it wanting." To live forever, as a neutered freak, alone, was not in any way desirable to her.

The chuckle that came from the figure was deeply unsettling. The smile doubly so.

"Good." He said and waved one hand over the table. An arcane symbol appeared in white over the dirty wood. It was a pentagram within a circle, flanked by warding. Words in english around the rim read: HELLSING - Hells Gate Arrested – Gott Mit Uns – And Shine Heaven Now.

"Memorize this circle. You will draw it…" He flicked his fingers and was suddenly holding a piece of white chalk. "…With this. One stride wide. You will ask us to step into it, before drawing your own blood…"

His flicked the fingers of his other hand and now held both the chalk and a mother of pearl handled pen knife out for her.

"And let us taste of it. Once we have drank of it, we are bound to you and you to us." With that he stood and the table, the floor, the band, and the whole of the bar and all its details melted into darkness. Misato found herself standing now in a small circle of light over a metal floor she recognized as the deck plating of the helicopter. The vampire was only a pair of bright red eyes within the darkness.

"Begin."

"You do not command me, vampire."

"And yet you must obey, your mission demands it."

Misato grimaced and took a deep breath before kneeling down, and she was very mindful of the fact that she was kneeling before the vampire, and starting to draw. The circle was not perfect, but it was close enough. As she rose, she locked eyes with the red orbs in the dark and held the pen knife to her palm.

"Step forward vampire." She said.

Out from the darkness stepped a figure made of darkness itself. It was in the shape of a man but as if slightly out of focus. Misato became uneasy as she tried to look deeper at its skin. She could catch glimpses of crawling things, of flying things, before her mind forced her to unfocus. As it stepped into the chalk circle, the lines on the metal deck began to glow. The ritual had begun, the vampire was locked within the chalk lines until it was complete.

With a hiss she pulled the blade down through the flesh of her palm. The figure twitched as if to grab at her arm and she pulled her hand away. It was time to put this vampire in his place.

"No. Yours is to obey vampire, not to take. End this illusion."

The figure growled and bore a mouth of bright white fangs at her.

"Now! Or I leave you in that circle and have my men dispose of you like all the other undead scum."

It opened its mouth and hissed at her as the darkness began to recede. First she saw the interior of the helicopter, then the darkness pulled back over the figure and what it left astonished Misato.

Standing in the circle was a pitifully sick looking young boy. He had black hair cut in a bowl cut and his skin was pallor grey. He wore a rumpled black suit that was too big for him and his black necktie hung loose around his red shirt collar.

This was the Hellsing Organizations ultimate weapon?

"P-please…" The boy rasped out, holding up his white gloved hands together in front of him. "I-I'm sorry about the illusions, I j-just didn't think I'd make a good impression and I c-couldn't really remember the steps right, s-so I let him come out. I-I'm Shinji Ikari, the real one."

Misato pushed all thoughts of sympathy from her mind. This was probably just another trick. It would be best to end this before the vampire got any more creative. She thrust out her hand and clenched her fist, causing the blood to begin to trickle down her hand.

"Drink, vampire."

He leaned in and stuck out a tongue that was far too long to look at all natural. He lapped at the trickle from her hand and for some reason she could not fathom, Misato opened her fingers. The young vampire latched onto her hand, though without using his fangs Misato noted, and began to drink from the wound. The soft squeaking as his sucking caused the seal of his lips to break reminded Misato of a babe breastfeeding in an incredibly unsettling way.

"That's enough!" She said and pulled her hand away.

The boy looked at her with sad red eyes, as if he had been struck, before her mind forced her not to focus again for a moment. When she could see the vampire again, he had changed.

It still looked like the boy, though it stood upright now instead of the pitiful slouching creature that had drunk from her hand. His black hair was slicked back over his head and he wore the same little round sunglasses that the adult in the illusion had worn. He filled the suit perfectly now and Misato saw the circle she had drawn on the floor drawn on his white gloves as he reached up and cinched up his tie.

The boy clicked his heels together and with one hand behind his back and the other held horizontal across his abdomen, bowed.

"What is thy bidding my master?"

"Tell me who you are, vampire, truly."

"I am untold multitudes contained within the blood of a single vampire." He said as he straightened up. "I am the impaler, I am the dragon, I am the no-life king, and I am Shinji Ikari. I am also untold millions more. Most importantly, I am yours to command Misato Katsuragi, your humble servant on an unbreakable leash."

He smiled and it did not surprise the captain that every tooth in his mouth was a fang.

"And I am your gadfly. I am the ever present voice of temptation." He said, spreading his arms to his sides. "I am infinite power at your beck and call, but yours to truly own should you only ask. You may have considered the offer of eternal life oh captain my captain, but never with it right here at your fingertips. I am your eternal reminder that you choose to continue your slow march to death when you could rule as a queen for eternity if you only asked."

"Eternity holds no draw for me vampire."

"As your wretched self, but the vampire changes its form to suit its desires. If a queen of the damned wanted companionship…" He leaned towards her and his glasses slipped down his nose, exposing one bright red eye. The other was covered by darkness.

"Then she would only change herself to receive it."

It was revolting to think that this creature now knew her every thought. Her every fear, her every desire. He knew them as well as she did now and the rest of her life she would fend off his offers of succor.

"Silence, Freak!" She barked imperiously, standing as tall as she could. "You are not some noblewoman's pet any longer. I am a soldier, and I will take you into the breach until your kind is wiped from this world! And when none remain but you, I will put the stake through your heart myself!"

In a wave of darkness he turned back into the sickly child who had suckled from her hand.

"Would you?" He asked with tears in his eyes. When she flinched the vampire returned to its healthy form and began to laugh. It was cruel and grating.

"Very well master, let us go together now, and I will show you what a fearsome bite this noblewoman's pet has."

The ritual complete, Misato turned to leave the helicopter and found the Hellsing host at the cargo door, guns raised.

"What is going on here?" She said, that imperiousness from speaking to the vampire still lingering in her voice.

"Sorry Ma'am, we just had to confirm it was done before we let you go." The leader said and waved a hand at one of his troops. One soldier walked up the ramp to Misato holding what looked like an old style weapons case, the kind in which one does not carry a shotgun but rather a fowling piece.

"This is his weapon, we held it for you to return to him, just as a precaution you know.

"I would require no weapon to eat every single one of you curs." Came the smooth bass, too deep for the body that made it.

Throughout the ages, organizations have existed to hunt the monsters which prey upon mankind. In the modern era, The Royal Order Of Protestant Knights and Section XIII Iscariot were but two of these groups. As man fought back against the undead hordes after impact, the knowledge of how to kill these monsters became more common knowledge, and was then analyzed, tested, developed into effective weapons.

Silver, blessed precious metals and religious symbols, fire, stakes through the heart. Stuff of stories became the stuff of science. Combined with the frightful artifice of the modern military industrial complex, killing low level vampires became less about inherent luck and more about skill and training.

However, as vampires became more powerful, things became less clear-cut. Their weaknesses diminish as theybgrow strong and come resist these things, or become outright immune to them. Thus strategy to deal with an influx of freaks falls into two camps: Destroy as many as possible to keep them from getting stronger, or find the alpha, the sire, and destroy him, killing all of his children. Both are easier said than done.

"Silence vampire." Misato said without looking at him. He chuckled but said nothing more. The soldier held the case for her to open with the latches facing her. She opened them together, one hand on each and raised the lid.

Her inner military brat squealed. Oh dear god in heaven, that was a Holland & Holland. Inside the case was a cut down over and under shotgun. Each barrel was no more than a foot long and the last two inches had been aggressively ported with dozens of small holes. The grip was a single handed "bird's head" with the heel carved into the likeness of a snarling dog. All of the metal work on the lock and trigger guard was richly engraved with religious imagery and the relief darkened to make it stand out all the more. She was no expert on wood grain, but it looked like a deeply stained cherry on the short grip and the hand guard that covered the first 8 inches or so of the lower barrel. Even the toggle that would release the lock and open the action was engraved, a flame pattern snaking down from a burning eye motif across the top of the lock.

Misato lifted the piece from the green felt of the case with two hands, almost afraid to scuff the finish. As she turned it over in her hands, she saw that a golden cross marked each barrel just behind the porting. She turned and looked at the vampire, still holding the gun as if it was made of glass. The German made pistol in her shoulder holster felt vulgar in comparison.

"I didn't know Holland & Holland ever made a… leopard gun." Calling it a sawed-off would have just been obscene.

"They never did." The vampire said and held out an open hand. Misato handed the gun over and the vampire opened the action, inspecting it before inserting two shells taken from somewhere that Misato did not see within its jacket.

"This weapon was adapted from the favorite duck gun of Arthur Hellsing, father of the recently late Integra Hellsing. While I lost my pistols in the battle of London, upon my rebirth circumstances had changed. Blessed silver crosses are not as common as they used to be. A 12-bore was chosen for the commonality of the ammunition and the ease with which the specialized munitions I require for our work can be manufactured for it. The shot molds should be in that case as well. I need only find some silver flatware or some donated fillings…" He grinned as he said that. "Any old priest can do the blessing and voila, specialized blessed silver ammunition.

With a jerk of his wrist the gun snapped shut. It sounded like a glamorous actress getting slapped across the face.

"Beautiful, but reduced to absolute utilitarianism. It is wonderful, like a princess made a whore." He chuckled at that and in a maneuver that Misato's mind screamed just should not work, slid the weapon under his jacket and it simply went away as he buttoned up. No printing, no outline.

"We'll have his coffin unloaded in just a minute ma'am." Said the leader. As Misato walked down the loading ramp with the vampire in tow, she saw a NERV man in a black suit waving to her. It took nearly a minute to reach him outside the brightly lit buffer zone. Misato approached the man in darkness.

"Captain, is it done?"

"Yes, now what is going on?"

"Freak's attacking ma'am."

"Shit, where are-" She stopped as the man's chest burst open with a white glove coming through. The man writhed in agony and his lips stretched back to reveal fangs. She was in shock until the body turned to ash and crumbled. The spear hand belonged to her vampire, who stood just behind where the man had been with his arm still extended.

"Good help is so hard to find." The vampire sneered.

"Shit, there are probably more of them."

"There are. We are surrounded; over half of your ground force is compromised by my count. They are either vampires themselves, thralls, or have already been killed or converted into ghouls." The vampire said and adjusted his red sunglasses.

Misato was about to argue when the roars of gunfire started all around them.

"If you knew, how come you didn't say anything earlier?"

"Your UV lights may not harm me, but they detrimental to my senses. I only identified this one after I left the perimeter." He said, grinding a piece of ash apart between two fingers. He flicked his fingers to get the rest off his glove.

"What are your orders, master?"

"Isn't that obvious? Kill them all. Destroy every last freak in the area then tell me how they infiltrated NERV! GO!"

The vampire bowed and Misato could hear his deep, thundering laugh as he faded into the darkness. The distinctive boom of a shotgun began to appear over the rattles of assault rifle and submachine gun fire. Misato retreated back to the spotlight buffer zone and found herself rushed into a circle of Hellsing troops.

In the distance, the vampire Shinji Ikari was doing his sacred duty. He had found many ghouls, and even some vampires amongst the horde, but nothing of note. While the vampires were not the pitiful machine made copies he fought in the 90's, nor where they anything worth reporting in about, or even stopping for a snack. He'd only had to dirty his hands with that first one that tried to ambush his master.

The rest fell to blessed silver buckshot, or dragon's breath, or swarms of silver darts as thin as a human hair, or whatever else he had in shells. That was one of the reasons he really loved this weapon. It offered so much variety.

A double blast of silver flechettes cleared an alleyway, leaving the immediate area silent. Shinji pressed the toggle and caught the ejected shells in one hand as the action opened.

"So this is NERV's new puppy, a gift from the Hellsing bitch." Came a voice that echoed from the buildings. It sounded like it was coming from every direction.

Oh wonderful, one of these. At least tonight wouldn't be boring, he hoped. He did not make any effort to confront the voice. The loudmouth would make an appearance sooner or later. Instead he loaded two more rounds and slapped the action shut again then let the weapon hang at his side in his right hand with his left hand in his pants pocket.

"What, nothing to say, puppy?"

Shinji yawned, his jaw opening just a bit too far. His long tongue snaked around to clean a spot between two fangs before he shut his mouth.

"You know I am going to kill you, right puppy?"

"Weeeeeell, I'm sure you're gonna try, pardner." The vampire said, letting a little bit of a drawl enter his deep voice and sounding a little like John Wayne in the process.

"Ha, they say you're the second coming of Alucard. I think your just some punk in a nice suit." Said the voice, finally making itself known to the west. "And I think even if you are him, you got soft fighting those Nazi fakes and pulling that shit in London. I think you are just like the rest of us now."

Shinji finally turned now to size up the loudmouth. He looked like a punk himself. Tall and skinny, he wore acid washed jeans and a matching vest, covered in clothespinned on patches. He had a fiery red warrior stripe across his head to match his eyes, and was holding one of those 16-inch cut down M14s in one hand at his side. He had kitbashed a 75-round drum off what looked like an RPK onto it and the black plastic stock had 'Maggot And The Meat Lice' written on it in bright green ink. The alleyway cut across several streets and he was standing between two buildings nearly 200 yards away

"You would be Maggot then?"

"Sharp eyes puppy." Maggot said and raised his weapon in both hands. "But you dun got yourself in a bad situation, pardner. Cause I can pull this trigger 5 times before you can get out of that alley and you ain't gonna hit me with that shotgun and make it hurt. Not even a slug is going to make a dent at this range, not from that little thing."

Shinji thought the punk was probably right. He couldn't get out of the alley.

"You must not be stupid to set this up. Too bad you weren't smart enough to run." Shinji said and brought up his shotgun. Maggot fired and a burst of 30-caliber bullets ripped Shinji's glasses off his face, along with a good chunk of his face, and blew open his left shoulder.

Shinji's aim did not err. He fired and as the slug left the barrel, shards of its sabot jacket went flying off. Unlike the traditional sabot slug, more a bullet in a plastic shell than anything, this was closer to the penetrator of an APFSDS tank round. The barrel-filling sabot jacket applies the energy usually used to launch large payloads into a comparatively small dart-like bullet. It allows a smoothbore weapon to fire an extremely accurate and powerful projectile. As the vampire called Maggot is about to discover.

The silver dart shrieked through the air and slid right along the side of Maggot's rifle, taking off the tips of the fingers of his left hand before impacting between the knuckles of his middle and trigger fingers and splitting his entire right arm to the elbow. When it finally stopped, embedded in the quickly burning ligaments of his elbow, it exploded and showered Maggot with razor sharp slivers of silver so fine they would pass into the pores of even a human. Each one lit its own little conflagration in Maggot's skin. To his credit, the charred vampire still managed to pick his weapon up in his more intact off hand and fired at Shinji again.

Shinji had learned something in his past life though. These lowlifes could be fun to toy with, but unless he thought there was a real challenge there, it was pointless to draw things out. He had easier ways of getting information.

Oh this one was getting up, he was even regenerating wherever the silver hadn't poisoned him. It was nice to be fighting real vampires again after that business 15 years ago.

As his shoulder knit itself back together and the lines of his suit smoothed back out, Shinji started walking, shotgun hanging at his side in his right hand with his left stuffed in his trouser pocket. With his glasses gone, his red eyes glowed in the darkness of the alley.

"Well come on Maggot, its just your arm! Show me what its like to fight a real vampire again!"

Even as Shinji stepped into the light of the first street, the bright lights didn't wash out the red light. As he passed into the darkness of the next alley, Maggot finally got himself together enough to actually aim. He fired several bursts, his vampiric strength keeping the otherwise monstrous recoil under control. Maggot smiled when he saw light through the holes in the young vampire's body.

"Ha! You're just a fancy gun and a suit! We are the new kings of this world! Alucard is dead and…" Maggot shut up as the kid not only kept walking, but as he passed into the light of the street again, the holes were gone and lines of his suit were perfect.

"What was that you were saying, Maggot?" Shinji said, his unnaturally deep baritone bouncing off the alley walls around the punk. Maggot started to stammer out a reply then raised his rifle again and held down the trigger, sending a stream of hot lead at the little freak. When the action went click, the magazine empty, the vampire didn't even look human anymore, just a pile of parts on parts on the ground. But the puddle of gore was still oozing its way forward, and somehow, in a way even Maggot's vampire brain saw as wrong, as it passed into the light, Shinji was walking on two feet, the lines of his suit still crisp. Maggot could see the shining teeth below those glowing eyes now.

Maggot dropped the rifle and snarled at Shinji. Shadow overtook the mohawk'd punk's right arm, the one that had been shredded, and remade it in darkness. Maggot wound up like a pitcher, left leg in the air to turn his body. When he threw, his arm lanced out like a spear. It passed across two more streets and an alley before punching clean through Shinji's chest, right through the heart.

The young vampire began to gurgle and clutched at the arm thick stake of darkness that dragged him to his knees.

"Ha, what's wrong, you were talking such good shit!" Maggot said then slammed the limp body between the building walls that bound the alley.

"You pathetic lap dog! All the stories must really be bullshit! No real vampire would serve a human, never!" Maggot said and dragged the body through the streets and alleys, smashing it against cars, masonry, streetlights, and everything else in the way.

"Alright puppy, end of the line." Maggot said, licking his lips as he held the broken corpse above him, still impaled on his arm. "Any last words?"

"Are you done? Cause this has been fun and all, but if you are going to do that good dirty talk, I'd like to get on with it." The vampire said with a sneer.

Maggot began to scream as Shinji's neck turned like a snake and he sank his mouth of fangs into the shadow arm that pierced his body. Eyes began to spread along the arm and darkness snaked its way across Maggot's body before his own shoulder turned into teeth and bit itself off.

"Well? Grow it back!" Shinji barked. He reached up with his left hand and stabbed his index and middle finger into Maggot's eyes, then grabbed him by face with his thumb under the jaw. He swung and smashed Maggot's skull against the brick wall, then threw him to the ground.

"Get up! Summon your familiars, regenerate, and fight me!" Shinji yelled and whipped the punk across the face with the barrel of his shotgun before pressing the twin barrels into his face where his eyes used to be. "What's wrong, Maggot? You were talking that good shit a second ago. Show me what a new king of this world can do!"

"Man fuck you! Satchmo is gonna fuck you up when he finds you, then you know what? He's gonna go dig up that Hellsing bitch, fuck her corpse, and make it a threesome with your new bitch! He…" Maggot was cut short when buckshot turned his skull to mush.

Shinji snapped his fingers and the gore began to break down and flow to him. After a few minutes, Shinji was left alone in the alley, holding his shotgun and the vandalized battle rifle. He looked it over. It wasn't a bad weapon by any means, and the ammunition was common enough. Its previous owner just had questionable taste.

Maggot had not known much, but it was enough point his master in the right direction. This "Satchmo" though, must be his sire. Shinji darkly chuckled. The game is afoot.

Shinji mopped up some remaining ghouls as he made his way back to the landing zone at the center of town. The guards tried to make him wait for Misato to verify him before they let him through. Shinji convinced them they would be better off just letting him pass. He still had his guns in his hands as he approached the small Hellsing encampment around the transport helicopter.

"Maggot and the meat lice?" Misato asked.

"I've recently acquired a taste for punk. I found the leader of this little raid. He didn't know know much, but his boss's name is Satchmo."

"Good." Misato said then reached out and patted him on the head. Without his glasses, she could see the glare he shot back. The guards were horrified. Even the Hellsing men were crossing themselves.

"What the fuck was that?" He snarled.

She had to lean down a little to be at even eye level with him. She patted him on the head again.

"Good lap dog. Because that's what you are. Now report."

"Yes, Sir Hellsing."

"Sir what now?"

Shinji got to chuckle at the woman. She had a nice act, but she needed to work on the whole ice queen image.

"Were you not informed that the item of the will to which you are entitled also includes the title and position of Sir Hellsing?"

Her face was priceless. She was going to be fun.

"Also, some packages for you should be waiting at your office. Can't have you walking around like a commoner." The vampire said with a dark laugh. "Anyway…"

The vampire tucked both weapons into his jacket, the impossibility of which continued to irk Misato, then pulled his whole and undamaged glasses from his breast pocket before sliding them on his face, middle finger pressing on the bridge.

"I'm bored. Are we heading back to wherever home is soon? Or should I go for a walk to pass the time?"

Behind the vampire, a soldier was shaking his head vigorously and giving Misato hand signals which were hard to interpret as anything but "NO!"

"You men, get these things loaded into a VTOL. You…" She said, pointing at the vampire. "… are to come with me and go nowhere unless told. Understand?"

"Of course Master."

End


Woohoo, first chapter up! Okay granted the first half is basically the one shot story cleaned up a little, but the whole point was for that to be the first chapter of a story.

A note for the not gun-obsessed. Holland & Holland is a London gunmaker with a long history of making hunting rifles and shotguns of the highest quality for royalty, nobility, and the similarly wealthy. The least expensive piece I can find from their shop on the market right now, a used hunting rifle, is going for $18,000. Shotguns like the one Shinji's is made from sale for upwards of $40,000.

So obviously, this is Hellsing/Evangelion crossover fic, but there are a few other things that may be referenced either directly or just for fun:

-White Wolf Games' World of Darkess, both for fun (I dislike their take on vampires) and directly (some of their other games though…)

-Hellsing Ultimate: Abridged Series (obviously for fun, but this Alucard is a mix of his canon and abridged selves, in other words a massive troll.)

-A certain young adult novel series whose shall not be written, obviously for fun, and pretty much anywhere I can make a joke from. Look forward to violence and dark humor to come.