Whisper
Sleep has been hard to find. I usually lay awake and listen to Peeta's snores while watching our small child's small chest rise and fall.
It's starting again. The nightmares and the strange noises. Once our daughter was born they all ceased but now that she has turned three months they have started again. Normally it is just a chair that you can hear scraping across the floor but now it has turned into whispers of a voice that I once knew.
Of course Peeta doesn't hear anything. He is a heavy sleeper. The baby sleeps through them too which shocks me because the sound of a pin dropping could wake her up. I feel as if though these strange sounds and experiences have replaced my nightmares in some strange way. When I do sleep I have no nightmares. It's strange really and I wonder why. Is it because of Peeta or is it because these strange sounds have somehow taken them away.
One night when I can't take these noises anymore I venture downstairs into the kitchen of our home. I slip out of Peeta's arms and tip-toe out of our bedroom careful not to wake Peeta and the baby.
Once I am in the kitchen I see nothing and hear nothing even though before I walked down I sworn that I heard the sound of a scraping chair and whispers. I begin to sit down and listen closely for any sounds that might not belong in our quiet house. While I'm sitting I fell as if someone is watching me. I turn around and see that nothing is behind me and there are no sounds tonight. I begin to make my way upstairs back to be with Peeta.
Once I am in bed and secure in Peeta's arms we both sit up with a start when a scream disturbs our once quiet home. It belongs to someone I knew I loved. It belongs to someone who died a long time ago. It belongs to Prim.
Prim? How is that possible? Prim is dead. Prim died long ago. She was killed in the bombing at the Capitol with Gale's bombs. Peeta asks me what is going on and I of course have no answer for him and we both get up and begin to go to the kitchen where the sound seems to be coming from.
Once we get to the kitchen I gasp as if all the air had been taken out of the room. Peeta stiffens against me and grabs my hand. I wonder if the baby woke up.
Right in front of my eyes is Prim. She doesn't look like Prim. She looks burned and bloody. Her clothes have been burned and she looks angry she looks like she is in pain. This is nothing like the scream she gave on the day of the reaping.
Peeta looks like he might lose it at some given point but he is holding on. Then Prim speaks.
"Katniss! Katniss help me!"
She sounds panicked and she sounds like someone is after her. But no one is after her she is dead.
"Katniss! Why did you kill me? Why did you leave me?"
I don't know what she means but I have to try to make sense of what is happening. Prim is dead. Prim is in my kitchen. Prim is dead. Prim thinks I killed her. Prim is dead.
"I didn't leave you Prim," I try to tell her, "I didn't kill you either! Nothing went as I wanted it too. You weren't supposed to be there when the bombs went off." The words just tumble out of my mouth now and I'm not sure what happens next. "I didn't know there were bombs! I didn't- I mean you weren't- I love you Prim! I would never let anyone hurt you!"
She looks even angrier and her eyes turn black. She nearly screams at me and I still wonder if the baby woke up.
"YOU PROMISED TO KEEP ME SAFE. YOU PROMISED NOTHING BAD WOULD NEVER HAPPEN TO ME. BUT NOW I'M DEAD AND YOU'RE A LIAR KATNISS. A LIAR AND A MURDERER."
This isn't Prim. This isn't the 13 year old girl I loved more than anyone on this planet. I never knew she could be this angry. I never knew she could ever yell at someone like that.
Peeta speaks before I can think of something to say to her.
"Prim, Katniss loves you. She tells our baby stories about you. The baby even looks like you, she has your nose." Peeta stops before going on again. He looks like he might have a flashback but he is containing it. I see he is trying to hold on. "I know that it is hard to understand what happened to you but you can't be angry at Katniss, she loved you more than you could ever imagine."
I know that he is trying his best and I can see that Prim is starting to calm down. He is very stern when he talks next.
"You're dead Prim and being angry won't bring you back."
Prim calms down after Peeta talks to her. Her skin turns back to its normal color and her blonde hair is in its normal two braids. Her clothes are no longer burned like the rest of her body but they are back to normal and her shirt tail is slightly untucked in the back. Soon after she turns back to normal Prim is surrounded by a ball of light that starts to take her away. But before she goes she says, "Katniss I love you and I'm sorry I said those things to you. I guess I was just angry that those things happened. Please forgive me."
Her voice is small and she sounds like a child. I know she is sorry and wants me to forgive her. So I say, "I forgive you Prim and I love you too." Prim smiles and tells me she has to go. But before she leaves I say,
"You better tuck in that tail little duck."
