Chapter 1

It's another hot night, dry and windless. The kind that makes people do sweaty, secret things. I wait and I listen. For a while it's a quiet as it gets in Sin City. Coyote calls from the hills. Police sirens, rising, falling, cutting through the traffic's white-noise roar. My right calf is beginning to cramp up and I'm thinking about down stairs and getting my money back from the bellhop. When I hear the jangle of keys at the door and they come in… "This is the last time Karin. It's got to be the last time." CLICK! "What ever you say

Sasori." "I mean it, this time." She glides out of her coat like it was Christmas wrapping, playing it for all it's worth. And it's worth plenty. She's got of figure you notice. It's her voice that spoils everything. CLICK! A little girl's voice, all squeaky and mousy and bubbly with false innocence. "I had a dream about you last nigh, Benny. It was a nice dream. Do you want to hear it?" "No. No dreams tonight. I haven't got the time. I haven't got any time. I have to get home soon. And this is the end for us. The last time. I

can't go on taking the chance." "What ever you say Sasori. You give the orders. You're the boss." She adds a good half-dozen extrasyllables to "boss", the-teeth hiss that's all business. And already he's breathing hard, the jerk. CLICK! "It's Shizune, damn her. She's asking all kinds of questions. She suspects something. She'll sue. She'll get everything. Everything I worked so hard for. You're damn right I work my butt off. Night and day. I always have. Built my business up out of nothing. Nothing. Nothing." "And nobody appreciates you, do they, Sasori? Not like you deserve." "No. No body. Not the employees I keep off food stamps and not Shizune,

damn her. My own wife. Living in that house I bought her. Wearing those clothes I bought her. With my money. My hard earned money. And she doesn't appreciate a damn thing. She doesn't even try understand the kind of pressure I'm under. She doesn't even try. Damn her. She's always coming at me. Always making demands. Never giving me a break. Just like all those lazy bums who wouldn't have a pay check if I didn't sign it. They can get sick, but me? Not A CHANCE!" "It's because you're so strong." "You're damn

right about! But do I get any credit? Hell, no! They just take and take! One of these days I'll fire the whole pack of them! Show them who's the big man! Show them who's the boss! "You can show me, Sasori." CHINKK "You can show me who's boss." SNAP "I will…" SNAP "I'll show you…" Then she's moaning and saying "boss" in time with his grunts. It's all over pretty quickly. CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! I get everything I need. The sad thing is that some the compositions I pick are pretty good. "Oh, God, Sasori that was just incredible. You make me feel like a woman. I know that sounds corny, but it's. So true. It takes a real man to make a girl feel like

this." "I love you, baby. You, know I love you." "I love you too, Sasori. You're all the man I'll ever need. I count the minutes, when you're gone. I honestly do. My writs hurt, Sasori. Think you could get the keys? They're right in my purse." "You don't have any idea how much I love you. How much I've scarified. It's tearing me up inside…" "Sasori what are you doing?" "It's tearing me up! How much I have to do! But I've worked hard! Damn hard! And Shizune would get everything! It's all her fault! I don't have any choice!"

Sasori. No. Please. I won't tell anybody." "I know you won't want to talk, Karin. I know that…" "Oh, my aching back…" "…But you're only human. And Shizune will offer a lot of money. My money. My own money and she'll use it to bring me down…" "I'll go away. I'll leave town and go someplace she'll never find me." "Yeah? And how will you get there? Fly? And who will pay for the ticket? The ticket and God knows what else! An apartment? A car? Clothes? You'll suck me dry and you'll never stop!" "Sasori I beg you, baby…"

"Don't make this any harder than it is, damn you! KAHHHHH "KILL HIM! KILL HIM!" WHUDDD "BLAGG" "No body's killing anybody. Not while I'm around." "Then can I have a ride?" She ask, using her real voice this time, a voice that's left innocence a life time behind. I grab the keys and un cuff her. I leave the jerk for hose-keeping. On the way out she gives him a kick that'll still hurt likehell when he comes to. I take Redondo over the hill, toward Old Town. It takes longer that way, but I figure with the way she's shaking

she could use the time to settle down. At first all she can do is sob and blow her nose and smoke cigarettes. She smokes six cigarettes. She just about pulled herself together when some crazy blonde cuts us off making poor Karin jump out of her skin. SCREECH Driving like a bat out of hell, that one. Crazy. There's never a good reason for breaking the speed limit. The last I see of Karin, she's fixed her makeup and she's sauntering away like a pro, tossing me a wave and wink, one hooker to another. "Thanks for

my life, man!" The she blends into the sea of flesh that is Old Town. Old Town. Where beauty is cheap, provided all you want to do is look. But if you're ready to pay you can have anything you can imagine. I hold tight to the wheel to keep my hands from shaking. I pull out and cut back over the hill. Out. Away. I put the game on and pray it will chase away the memories, of drunken mornings and sweaty sex and stupid, bloody brawls. "And Rock Lee's wide open. He shoots. SCORE!" You can't just pick and choose. You can't take

the good without the bad. Not once you let the monster out. The team's up by twelve late in the third when I pull up to Jiraiya's I should be home in time to catch the fourth-quarter replay at eleven. "Well, I'll be God damned if it isn't clean liver himself! What've you got for me, boy?" "The Akatasaki job. Two rolls." Jiraiya's eating, like always. And he's cheerful, also like always. It's Jiraiya who got me into these marital jobs. It's his specialty. He tosses me work. He can't handle because he's so fat. He keeps half the money,

which I think is far, considering I get to use his darkroom until I can afford my own equipment. Which I hope is soon, because even though I'm grateful to the guy for the work, Jiraiya makes me sick. "The Akatasaki job? God damn! I knew that bum couldn't keep it in his pants much longer! You catch the game? Our boy Rock Lee is kicking butt?" "Yeah. The Blues might just go all the way this year. I'm hoping to catch the replay at eleven." If I had to nail it down, I'd say the main reason Jiraiya makes me sick is how much

he loves his job. "Oh, yeah…oh, boy… Oh, yeah... Just look at them… …Will you get a load of those hooters? Straight out of Play Boy magazine! And knowing you didn't get yourself a piece of that, did you? Nah, not clean liver. Not the boy scout. Handcuffs. It's funny, you know. How many of them go for the handcuffs. Especially the businessmen. And the judges, too. You wouldn't believe how many judges go for the cuffs. Some of them like the gals to wear them, some like to put them on themselves. I tell ya, I could write a

book…" Maybe tomorrow I'll go to the Times and crawl on my belly and beg Kakashi for my old job back. Maybe he'll give me a break. He said I deserved a Pulitzer, once. But that was than. I drive ten blocks out of my way and stop for gas I don't need, screwing up my courage for the worst of it. The wife. This one's got a lawyer to pay the tab and do the talking, so it's easier. "…In cash, as you requested. You may be called upon for a deposition. Please leave by the side exit." The Mustang shudders angry, acting

like the wild horse was named after, begging to cut loose and show what it can do. I don't let it. I've got the radio turned on to some Lonely Hearts talk show, but I'm not listening. One more time, I sort through the broken pieces of my past. And like always, they come together to form the same, sorry picture. I think about all the ways I've screwed up and what I'd give for one clear chance to wipe the slate clean. To dig my way out of the numb, grey hell I've made of my life. I'd give anything. Just to cut loose. Just to feel

the fire. One more time. VROM! "No!" SCREECHH! "No. Damn it. No. Never. Never. Never lose control. Not for one second. Never. Never let the monster out."