I'm Sorry

By:

Fear Die Rothaarige

It was a mercy killing, because she was dying anyway. A mercy killing only on her part, because to the one who committed the act, it was nothing but a tragedy he wished he didn't have to commit. The night Rin died under the stars that she loved some much. The nigh Rin died, she was held like a lover, by her killer. The night Rin died, Kakashi had never retreated becoming a ninja so much.

They were attacked by a small group of enemy nin deep in the forest of the land of Waves. The best they could tell, the nin had gone rogue from the Village Hidden in the Mist. They had no mercy and they tried sliced and diced their way through the small five man cell Anbu group. One by one, the two watched their friends fall prey to the Mist nin, all the while fighting for their own lives.

First was Rabbit. She was a happy little thing, always bouncing around. Her hair was as orange as the carrots she loved. Even at the young age of 15, she was a master at Genjutsu (They had all been on the tail end of one of them during their hours upon hours of training together. They had nothing but respect for the young girl). She was the reason they were alerted to the Mist Nin's presence. She had yelled out, just as her head was disconnected from her body, and rolled on the ground, her blue eyes forever frozen in shock.

Next came Bear. He was massive, rivaling the size of even the great bear that was hiding away in a tavern that the Anbu team frequented. Standing at 6'8" and weighting almost 320 (most of which was muscle), he was a force to be reckoned with. At 25, his Taijutsu skills were finely tuned. He had taken on two of the Mist nin, enraged over Rabbits death (Everyone knew that they had a thing, despite the age difference). He had just bashed their skulls together with his super-human strength, when another Mist nin appeared, his hands still holding the two dead nin he was doomed. He never had a chance to dodge the blade that sliced through his heart.

Then there was Tiger. He sliced the nin clean open with his steel claws and laughed as his entrals splattered to the ground. He was tall, lithe, and extremely sadistic. He had a rare Kekkei Genkai that allowed him to fuse his body with the spirit of the rare white tiger. The 18 year old bit, tore, and slashed at any Mist nin that came in between him and his team. Then, without warning, a bolt lodged itself in his windpipe. His last sight in the world was that of the the Mist nin in the trees laughing at his choking form.

Now it was just the Wolf, Kakashi and his partner, the Sparrow, Rin. Out numbered the two figured this was the end. We'll get to see them again soon. They stood back to back, trying to form a plan. Two Mist nin faced the Anbu on the ground, with the one Mist nin with the cross bolt in the trees, hidden. Kakashi whispered to Rin, "Attack the one in front of you, try to see if you can wear her out. And listen for anything in the trees or something that sounds like a cross bolt. Stay close to the ground." Wordlessly, Rin nodded. In sync, Kakashi disappeared into the ground and Rin went after the Mist nin standing before her.

The nin Kakashi was focusing on, looked around, slightly confused at to were the silver haired 17 year old had disappeared to. With a sudden yelp, the man felt a hand on his foot. He jumped, thinking he had gotten away. When he looked down to the ground, scanning for the boy he saw the true reason of the grab. Glued to his ankle was a paper bomb. Frantically trying to get the paper bomb off of his ankle, he failed to notice the Wolf Anbu show up behind him. With a quick slash of the throat, crimson blood stained the ground and the paper bomb. With a chuckle Kakashi looked at the dead nin before him, because the paper bomb was a dud, meant to give rise to panic in the nin. Fool.

Rin was still battling the nin before her, but she was holding her own. Blocking every blow, she could slowly see that the Mist nin before her was slowly wearing out. She was putting way to much force into her attacks and depleted her chakra reserves faster than Rin. The Sparrow saw her chance and darted in. She quickly ducked down, grabbing the arm of the Mist nin before her. She threw her to the ground, and with a considerable amount of force, punched her in the chest. The Mist nin died with splinters of ribs impaled in her heart and lungs. Good job, Rin. Sensei would be proud.

"One more Rin. We can do this." Kakashi told his oldest teammate before jumping into the trees. Two of us and one of them. Rin followed suit, staying close behind Kakashi. They could hear the nin running from them. After watching his team being slaughtered, he had decided to cut his loses and run. The two Anbu trailed after him, when the saw him stopped in the middle of a clearing, his cross bolt raised. They stayed hidden in the trees, their chakra masked as they watched him. Kakashi leaned into Rin's ear, "I'll go down in front of him, and try to make it seem like all we want to do is talk. You'll make your way behind him, circling the clearing in the trees. When I give you the signal, move in from behind. Slit his throat." Rin nodded, listening to the captain. She quietly circled the clearing, as Kakashi leapt down from his perch, unmasking his chakra in the process. Here goes nothing.

Kakashi entered the clearing, hands tucked in his pocket. His pose was completely casual. The Mist nin raised his cross bolt to chest level, staring down the Wolf mask. "Where's the other one?" The nin commanded, glancing around for the Sparrow mask.

Kakashi shrugged, "That's none of your concern." He stated, moving closer to the nin. Kakashi could see the panic in the man's eyes. "How about this? Lets have a little chat. I'll even take my mask off in good faith." Kakashi told the nin. Said nin bit his lip, unsure as to what to do.

"Fine." The Mist nin said, and watched as Kakashi took off his Wolf mask. There's your signal. He wasn't even ten feet away from the Mist Nin.

From behind the Mist nin, Rin saw the signal. As Kakashi removed his mask, Rin silently jumped down from the tree she was hiding in. Slowly, she stepped into the clearing. She saw one trip wire, and easily stepped over it, but unseen by her eyes was a second wire that was hidden in the shadow of the first one. Without warning, she stepped on the second trip wire and heard a 'thwat' of a cross bolt being launched. She jumped to the left in time for it to miss her heart, but gasped as the bolt stuck her in the shoulder.

"You bastard!" The Mist nin screamed, seeing he was being tricked. He fired the bolt, which Kakashi easily dodged. The silver Wolf lunged at him, catching him off guard with a clone from behind. He slit the mans throat with no remorse.

Kakashi rushed to Rin, who was laying on the ground, holding her wounded shoulder while she cried in agony. Please not her. Oh God, please don't let her die too Kakashi thought to himself, kneeling beside Rin. Kakashi removed Rin's mask, and smiled at the girl. "Don't worry." He told her, his voice staying light, not hinting at his inner worry. Rin nodded slightly as Kakashi removed her blood soaked hand. He took out a small knife and cut away the fabric around the wound (He didn't tear it, he didn't wanna cause the girl any more pain). As he gently pressed down on the wound, Rin winced in pain.

"In my kit, there are pain killers and stuff to clean the blood away." Kakashi nodded. Kakashi slipped his hand under Rin's back, helping her sit up to allow his access to her pack. He slipped it off of her and used it as a prop to help her sit up after finding the first aid kit. He took the kit and opened it, pulling out a syringe full of green liquid. Rin watched with eyes glazed with pain as he stuck the needle into her wounded shoulder. Within a few moments, she relaxed her tense muscles. "Thanks."

"No problem, Rin." Kakashi started to clean away the blood. "How'd this happen?" He asked, trying to keep her distracted from the wound.

"A trip wire. I think he hide one in the shadow of the first one." Rin explained. She watched Kakashi for a moment. "I think its buried in the muscles."

"I think you're right. Can you get it out?" He asked her, knowing he didn't have near enough skill to do so. He frowned when she shook her head no.

"It is was an arrow... I probably could, but I cross bolt has spikes. Pulling it out... It'd tear all the muscles in my shoulder." She sighed. "The best thing we can do is break it off and bandage it till we get back home." Kakashi nodded. For the next ten minutes he finished cleaning the wound, broke off most of the shaft of the cross bolt, and bandaged it as well as he could (of course, he followed Rin's instructions to the T. You'd be a fool not to listen to her).

"Can you walk?" Kakashi asked her when he was finished. She nodded, allowing Kakashi to pull her to her feet. "Once we take care of them, we'll head home. Okay?" The silver haired Anbu couldn't bring himself to say their teammates names.

An hour later, Kakashi had sealed away Rabbits, Bears, and Tigers body into scrolls to carry back to the village. "Lets go." Kakashi helped Rin to her feet. Looking her over, he couldn't help but notice a slight flush on her cheeks. He played it off as fever due to her body trying to fight off infection. Looking around the clearing one last time, Kakashi couldn't shake the feeling something wasn't right.

By night fall, Kakashi knew he had been right.

They had stopped to make camp. He wasn't nearly as far away from the attack site as he had liked, but he knew Rin was in pain, despite the pain meds. They were in a clearing in sight of a small creek. Kakashi had gone to find fire wood and Rin started to build a small fire pit. He wasn't gone for more than 15 minutes, but what he found was forever seared in his mind. Rin was on the ground, twitching and shaking. Small amount of blood were leaking from the edge of her mouth. Kakashi dropped the wood and was by her side in a second. He tipped her on her side and held her down, not knowing of any way to stop a seizure.

For twenty seconds, he watched in horror. Don'tdiedon'tdiedon'tdiedon'tdiePleasedon'tdieonme. He thought over and over, hoping and praying she would be okay. Hoping and praying that in the end, she would live. Then her body finally stopped shaking. Kakashi laid her back on her back and stared at her face. Flecks of blood dotted her lips, her checks were rosy in color, and when he laid his hand against her forehead it was burning up. Poison was the only thing that came to mind that could cause this.

What do I do? Rin... Someone tell me... How do I save you? Kakashi pulled at his hair in frustration. "Cool the fever and try for an antidote." he muttered to himself. He quickly fetched a bowl of cold water and soaked a rag in it before placing it on Rin's forehead. He took another and dabbed at her face. Next he went into the medical kit, looking for the poison testing kit. He grabbed it and read the instructions. He followed them exactly. A small amount of blood on the testing strip and once it turns colors, use the identifying sheet. It turned a dark purple, looking down the list, his heart stopped. Unknown.

He wanted to scream. Scream till his throat was bloody and his voice gone. He wanted to scream because she was going to end up just like the rest. Father... Orbito... Minato-Sensei... Rabbit.. Bear... Tiger...

"Please don't leave me Rin. I... I don't think I could make it." Kakashi whispered to the girl laying before him. For the next two hours, he kept the wet rag on her forehead. For a little while, it helped with her fever. But all to soon, it didn't help anymore. He held her hand and whispered his pleas for her to wake up and get better. All his words seemingly went to deaf ears. Her wounded shoulder started to bleed again. He unwrapped the bandage from her shoulder. What he saw almost made him vomit. The flesh around the cross bolt was starting to turn a deep green, as if her flesh was rotting. Dark brown puss was leaking from the wound directly. Kakashi felt faint as a thought struck him. If this... If this is what the outside looks like... Her shoulder... he felt bile rise in his throat. Kakashi didn't want to think about it anymore.

It was around midnight when she finally opened her eyes. Kakashi had been watching the stars, remembering the night we he had awoken under the same sky but a different time and place with a new eye and a dead friend. He thought it was... Amazing how vast the sky was. He looked down at Rin, and to his surprise and delight her eyes were open.

"Rin." He breathed her name. "You're awake." Please stay awake. Please don't shut your eyes again. As he stared into her chocolate-brown eyes, he could see the pain and the fever in them. They seemed to have a far away look, as if only her body remained on this plain.

It seemed to take her a long while to realize who he was. "Kakashi..." She took a shallow breath. "It hurts." Another shallow breath. "Please make it stop." Please don't be asking me what I think you're asking me...

"I've already given you all the pain medication we have Rin. I'm sorry." He watched for her response.

"That's not what I mean." Rin told him. He could clearly hear the pain in her voice. "It... It feels like I'm on fire." A breath. "I'm being burned alive from the inside." She winced. "Kakashi, please... Make it stop." Her eyes were pleading with him. Kakashi's hand lightly touched her cheek, as he struggled to voice his thoughts. ILoveYouILoveYouILoveYOU!

A tear ran down from Orbito's eye. His own eye refusing to cry. "I... I'll do it." Kakashi kept his voice soft, but it didn't keep it from breaking on the last words. Don't make me.

Rin smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you." I'll never see your smile again. Kakashi gently cradled her in his arms, careful of her wounded shoulder. He supported her head, much like one would do with a newborn babe.

"Tell me how." His heart was racing, his breath coming faster than he wished. He was nervous. He had killed so many times before... But.. It was never someone I loved.

"Send a shock... To my heart." Kakashi nodded, placing his hand over her heart. He didn't do it yet, ChangeYourMindChangeYourMind ! Then without warning, he kissed her. He knew he shouldn't have. Her blood could be infected with the poison. But he couldn't let her die, not yet. He loved her. You'll always be my first real kiss. Far to soon, he broke the kiss. He smothered her hair. It's so so soft.

"I love you." Rin whispered to the boy holding her. Kakashi nodded, Damnit Orbito! Stop crying! He didn't realize it, but his eye was leaking tears too.

"And I, you." Kakashi told her. He laid his forehead on hers. The fever still raged within her body. Why didn't I tell her to speak to him instead of me. She doesn't deserve to die. Not like this. "Tell Orbito and Sensei that... That I love them too." Rin nodded. With a final kiss on her forehead, Kakashi sent an electric jolt through her broken body. And like their teammate before her, she was gone, lost to the winds of time.

I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, Rin.

I'm so so sorry.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, I'm make an arc centered just around Rin and Kakashi.

This came to mind after spending hours reading Kakashi centric fics. Some which involves Rin's death. And I wanted to write my view on how she had died, though no one knows. This by far is one of my favorite fics. I just... I think it captures a young Kakashi rather well... I hope you do too. Anyway... Sorry for any and all mistakes in grammar and spelling.

Please Read and Review!

Later!