Just a quick little one-shot that randomly came into my mind. I know some of you are waiting for the Epilogue to A Past Matters--stay tuned, it's coming! Also, look for an update to Win A Date as well!
Okay, takes place during the bar scene in 1x13, with a different ending! Enjoy!
"I'm Sorry"
"I came to congratulate you in person. You ruined my relationship with Nate, Serena, all of my friends, even little Jenny thinks she's too good for me, so, bravo. Just like you wanted, I have no one to turn to but you," Blair said watching Chuck drink his scotch at the bar of Butai Restaurant.
"Actually you don't even have me," Chuck spit out putting his scotch down.
"Enough," Blair sighed annoyed at his attitude. He was the one who ruined her reputation, he shouldn't be mad at her.
"I'll try to be more succinct. You held a certain fascination, when you were beautiful, delicate, and…untouched," he stated harshly. It was true, now that she was tainted by Nate, he couldn't even bear to look at her anymore. All he could think about was Nate roaming his hands all over her body. It's why he ran off to Monaco. The pain of seeing her with him was too much to bear. And now that he dumped her, Chuck wouldn't let her come running back to him as a last resort. He was Chuck Bass. He was no one's last resort.
Blair felt shocked that he would be saying such a thing, until she began to realize, maybe she deserved what he was saying. She did sleep with Nate right after Chuck, and she didn't even consider how Chuck might have felt about it.
"But now, you're like one of the Arabians my father used to own," Chuck continued. "Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would."
Chuck folded his hands under his chin and stared straight ahead.
Blair sat back in shock before deciding to say something back.
"I'm sorry," Blair mumbled softly. And she was. She deserved everything that Chuck had just told her. She knew how wrong it was of her to sleep with Nate right after she had broken up with Chuck. Not that they were ever really together. But she should have been more careful with his feelings. He told her he liked her, bought her a diamond necklace and this is how she repaid him? She was sorry that she didn't realize that she was in love with him sooner. It would have saved them from this mess. If she had stopped being so stubborn and just admitted to herself that she had fallen for Chuck during their secret affair instead of running back to Nate at the first chance she got, maybe she'd be happy right now. She knew that there was nothing she could say now. She had royally screwed up and Chuck would never forgive her. She sighed in defeat before getting up from the bar stool and walking out of the restaurant.
Chuck froze, confused at her out-of-nowhere apology. What was she sorry for? He had just called her a sweaty old horse; shouldn't he be the one that's sorry? She couldn't possibly be sorry for sleeping with Nate. He was her Prince Charming, her Knight in Shining Armor. Chuck knew she regretted sleeping with him more than anything else in her life, but deep down, he had some hope that she might feel the same way about him as he felt about her. But he realized that he couldn't have been more wrong when he walked up the stairs at Cotillion to find Blair back in the arms of her one true love. So what could she possibly be sorry for? Sure, Nate was pissed as hell at her, but Chuck knew he'd eventually come around, and when he did, Blair would be right back in his arms.
He turned to look over his shoulder and watched her walk out of the restaurant before turning back to his scotch. Staring at the glass, he couldn't hold his curiosity any longer. Groaning, he gulped the rest of the scotch, slammed the glass on the bar, and walked the path Blair had just walked moments before.
He left the restaurant and spotted her up the street.
"Hey, Waldorf, slow down," he called quickening his pace to catch up with her.
"What do you want Bass? Thought of another insult, because I think you got your point across the first time," she bit out as she turned away from him to keep walking.
He grabbed her arm and turned her around so she was facing him again.
"Blair, wait."
"What do you want?" she said exasperated. She really wasn't in the mood for more of his insults, no matter how much she deserved them.
"Why are you sorry?" he asked, looking straight inter
"Huh?" she asked genuinely confused.
"Back at the bar you said you were sorry…why?" he pressed.
Blair looked down at her feet wondering whether she should answer the question truthfully. Chuck might laugh at her and make her feel even worse then she already did about the situation. Or maybe…she could finally fix things.
"I'm sorry that I slept with Nate," she said quietly, looking anywhere but into his eyes.
Chuck was taken aback. She regretted sleeping with Nate? Impossible.
"Yeah right," Chuck scoffed at the thought that she actually regretted it. "He was your Prince Charming, your dream come true and all that bullshit. You're just sorry that he found out about us and doesn't want anything to do with you anymore."
"No, that's just it Chuck. He was all of those things. Was. Past tense," Blair tried to explain.
"Oh yeah, and what changed?"
"Everything. Everything changed that night in the limo," Blair said, hoping he would believe it was true. "That night, I was free. Free of what everyone expected of me, free of being the perfect girlfriend to someone who didn't even love me back. I needed an escape…and you gave that to me. You showed me that I could be myself without any judgments. You changed everything Chuck," she continued reaching out to grab one of his hands.
"Yeah right, you never gave a shit about me. You said so yourself, I was the biggest 'mistake so far in your past you hardly remembered'…remember?" he bit out angrily pulling his hand away.
"I said that because I was scared Chuck! I was feeling things that I thought I shouldn't be feeling. I was trying to deny them, trying to pretend I didn't feel anything, but I did," Blair explained, tears filling her eyes.
"And what feelings might those be?" Chuck asked hesitantly, not sure he wanted to hear her answer.
"Butterflies," she smiled softly, grabbing at his hand again. "Much more then butterflies actually."
"It didn't seem that way when you were throwing yourself back into the arms of dear Nathaniel."
"I was angry. I was so angry at you Chuck. I was happy with the way our 'relationship' was going, but then you pulled that stunt at Cotillion and I was just so mad at you."
"Blair, I never meant to hurt you. I didn't want to lose you to Nathanial so I did what I thought was necessary to make sure you wouldn't go running back to him. It was really stupid of me; it all just ended up biting me in the ass."
"But Chuck I told you that I was going with him as just friends. I told you that so many times, and I meant it."
"Yeah well what was I supposed to think? You've only been talking about being Mrs. Blair Archibald since we were five years old. And there he was asking you to Cotillion, fulfilling your dream. I freaked out. I thought I was going to lose you, lose what we had. I wanted to make Nate look like the bad guy and maybe you'd see me as someone you could be with. Who was I kidding though right? You'll never look at me the way you did Nate or like me the way you did Nate."
"Chuck that's not true!" Blair all but shouted. "Those few weeks after my birthday when we were together…I don't think I've ever been happier then I was then. You made me happy. You allowed me to open myself up and be the person that I truly could be. But it scared me. It wasn't part of the plan. I wasn't supposed to develop any of those feelings for you. So I tried to deny them, I tried to convince myself it was just a distraction until Nate opened his eyes and came back begging. And so when he did, instead of facing my fears and taking a risk and letting myself be with you, I slipped back to what was comfortable. I went back to Nate, and I've never regretted anything more. But once it was done, it was done. I had to stay with him. Then you started messing with me, blackmailing me. All of it just made me even angrier at you. But I think I was really just angry with myself, because I knew that all of it was my fault. I was just too stubborn and afraid to admit it."
Chuck didn't know what to say. Her she was saying all of the things he wanted to hear from her, but he couldn't help but feel this was all just because Nate didn't want her anymore.
"How do I know you're not just here as a last resort? Nate doesn't want you so you might as well come crawling back to me, right?" He felt slightly harsh saying it, but he had to know the truth.
"Look, all I can say is that this whole thing made me realize how stupid I was being. I should have never agreed to go to Cotillion with Nate in the first place. To be honest, the only person I wanted to escort me was you, but again I was scared."
"Scared of what Blair? I still don't understand what you were so afraid of."
"You! I was so scared of you and the things you made me feel. What I felt when I was with you—even if I tried to deny it—was stronger than anything I felt for Nate, and that scared the shit out of me Chuck. Here I was, in love with Manhattan's biggest womanizer not knowing how you felt or how everyone would react or if I was even ready to admit it all."
Chuck stepped back in pure shock. She loved him?
"What, Chuck? Say something," Blair said impatiently wondering what was going through that thick skull of his.
"You love me?" Chuck asked quietly, looking straight into her eyes in hopes of finding the true answer there.
Blair stared right back into his, tears already forming. She smiled slightly before speaking again, "Yes. I love you Chuck Bass." Her smile got wider as she moved closer to him. "God help me, but it's true."
Chuck's face broke into a wide grin, the kind she saw back when they were having their secret affair. God it was good to see that smile again.
Chuck reached his hand up to her cheek and stroked it gently, before leaning in and placing his lips on hers, tentatively at first, and then pulling her closer and deepening the kiss.
Blair responded immediately, wrapping her hands around his neck, and returning the kiss with as much passion as she could muster.
Chuck pulled back first. "Hey Blair?" he whispered, his forehead rested against hers.
"Hmmm?" she asked, her eyes closed, trying to soak in the moment.
"I love you too."
Blair opened her eyes and smiled again, pulling him back down to her lips and kissing him hungrily.
He pulled back again, his breathing slightly heavier. "And I'm sorry too. For everything… and for what I said back at the bar."
Blair just looked straight into his eyes and smiled. "Just shut up and kiss me, Bass."
And he did.
Hope you all enjoyed. Let me know what you think! :)
