AN/I dont own the characters they all belong to the very talented Stephanie Meyers


It's been a few weeks since Edward left. I thought that I would break down and shut away from everything but I didn't. Don't get me wrong I was sad but not for me! I wasn't sad for Edward "my mate" bull fucking shit that is. It is not for Alice "My sister/ best friend" that is the biggest fucking load of hours shit is I do say so myself lol and it is most defiantly not for Carlisle "daddy dearest". I mean come on! He gave Edward this life he even gave it to Esme, Rosalie and even Em but he couldn't even lead HIS coven. To tell you the truth if I didn't know in which order they came I would say that Edward was the leader and Alice was his mate the way Carlisle looked to them both for guidance. Edward and Alice were practically joined at the fucking hip, with their silent conversations. OMG where they together? Hmmm I'll think about that at a different time. No I was sad for the mother I have always wished for Esme and her overwhelming ability to love unconditionally. My bear of a brother Em for being just him and his wife Rosalie. I miss how Rosalie is so firstly protective of the ones she loves and I even miss how she didn't spear my feeling. I also miss Jasper. It wasn't his fault for what happened on my birthday. When I got the paper cut he seemed fine I even think he was holding his breath. To be totally honest with you I saw I heard Edward growl before he shoved me back into the table with the plates on. Cutting my arm open is what sent everything into motion. I can't imagine what it must be like for jasper to not only feel his own blood lust but the blood lust of 6 other peoples as well yes I said six Carlisle's eye went black as well to add on top of that I'm Eddie boys singer! I miss how clam I was when I knew Jasper was near and no it was not him calming me at all it was just him. I don't know how to explain it right but when he was near I knew everything was alright.

Today isn't about the past it's about a fresh start. I got out of bed early this morning and jumped in to the shower once I was clean I dried off and put on a black lace boy short pantie set then put on an old plaid shirt of Charlie's and a pair of lose jeans and my boos. I went down to the kitchen to grab some black bags and headed back up to my room and over to my wardrobe. Today I was getting rid of everything that was the old Bella ready for the things the new Bella will need. I threw all of the clothes in to the black bags and then took them down to the truck I'll take them to the good will. I then went back to my room and looked around there was many things in here that I have from people from school. I went through it all and threw all of the things I didn't want any more away. I kept all the things from my childhood as I know Charlie would be very upset with me if I got rid of it all. I kept all of the photos with Ang in. She is they only true friend I have in that hell hole they like to call school. As I was leaving my room to take the last black bag down my foot got court and I fell to the floor. Once I got myself sorted I looked for what my foot got court on and it was a loose floor board. I couldn't get it lifted so I went over to my draw and got my letter opener. I wedged the letter opener in-between the floor boards with a flick of the wrist the floor board popped up. I moved it out of the way so I could see what was under it. What I saw made me so made I wish I could hurt him. Everything that I had been given by them was under here. How fucking dear he say it will be like he never existed and take everything only to hid them under my floor. All this time I thought my family didn't want me. I was so far from the truth I couldn't see it. It's not that they don't want me HE took them from me. I took everything out and placed it on my ben then put the floor board back I'll have to mark that one so I know where it is encase I need it. I sat on my bed and looked at everything, there was all the pictures that I have of the Cullens, presents from my birthday was well as a few things Esme has given me. I had a book that Jasper gave me that he thought I might like, a bracelet from Esme that she said wasn't right for Rosalie or Alice as well as a small trinket box she had from her human life. I opened the necklace box Rosalie gave me on my birthday and it was a 2.5ct tear drop sapphire pendent on a platinum 22inch chain. It was a very simple but also elegant necklace. It wasn't over the top or flashy like Alice and it wasn't too much of a statement like Rosalie. If I ever get to see her again I must thank her for it. It must have taken a while to find something that I would like. I opened the envelope from Carlisle and Esme next and it was two tickets to Jacksonville they must have gotten them so I could go and see my mum. I'll use them when I can. The last gift was from Edward and Alice, it was a cd and an envelope. I opened the envelope and there was a note.

My dearest Isabella,

Both Alice and I wanted to give you this to get what your heart Desired.

Now please don't give it back it will only hurt our feeling.

You will also not be able to give it to any one from the family as

Well so don't even try.

With all my love

Yours Edward.

What I found was a black credit card. Well thank you Edward, Alice, I will do whatever I want with this. I put the necklace and bracelet in my jewellery box the plane tickets in my bedside table and the credit card in my pocket I also put everything else on my shelf. The stereo from Em and Jasper was in my truck he couldn't take that now could he. I grabbed the black bags and took them down and out to the bins. I went back in and called the Webber's.