Disclaimers:"No, we don't own the pretty tennis boys." –awin-chan

Authors: Dudly, Sweet Obsidian Rain, awin-chan, Eternal.Angel, Kyoka, fantasize.dream., maldita08,

Us crazy POT yaoi fans hope you enjoy this crack fic from the forum of Dudly-sama!


Dudly-sama's Forum Members' Crazy Imaginative Creation Group Presents You:

Molesting the Facts

Chapter One


At the Echizen Household

Karupin meowed as his master's alarm clock started to ring. One Echizen Ryoma stirred awake and he glanced at the time. Pounding footsteps of his (stupid) father could be heard coming up the stairs. Exasperatedly, his father Echizen Nanjiroh banged on the door loudly thrice before stomping away. The first year simply glared at the door, then his alarm clock, and lastly at his cat, Karupin.

Without caring if he was going to be late (when did he care anyway?), Ryoma pulled the covers over his head and fell back asleep. Two minutes later, he heard other knocks on the door, and just when he was about to chase his father away, a voice yelled for him.

"Echizen Ryoma!" His mother exclaimed angrily. "I want you downstairs in five minutes; there's a guest for you."

Ryoma shot up and out of bed; no one wanted to cross an angry mother.

"I'm up! I'm up!" He shouted as he briefly wondered who the guest was.

Hopping on one foot as he pulled on his pants for school, the boy tried not to trip over anything in his bedroom. Meanwhile, the feline pounced onto the mattress and ogled at his master, meowing as if in protest. He noticed that his owner now wrenched the door open and quickly ran down the stairs. Loyal as he was, Karupin followed Ryoma to the first floor.

The boy finished buttoning his shirt as he set foot into the living room where his family and the guest were.

"Ahem," the guest stood up, "Hello."

Ryoma stared in shock at his guest.

There stood Fuji, with his typical smile on. Obviously, he was a morning person. "Fuji-senpai? What are you doing here?" questioned Ryoma suspiciously. Karupin meowed and looked directly at the guest with a puzzled expression.

Fuji said cheerfully, "Can't I visit my favourite kouhai? " He smiled at Ryoma, who shuddered slightly.

There was a pregnant pause before he broke the silence.

"Saa... Echizen," Fuji said as he looked at Ryoma's expression, "Your mother's cooking is delicious."

Ignoring his senpai's comment, the boy sat down and stared blankly at Fuji before asking, "What are you doing?"

"Eating of course!" Fuji responded cheerfully with his usual smile.

The cat now eyed his master, and then his senpai, curiously. Setting itself in a comfortable position, it began to watch and observe the two carefully.

Ryoma twitched. "No, I mean, why do you need to visit me? You see me at practice don't you?"

Rinko cleared her throat as she entered the living room, "Ryoma, your father and I have an announcement to make..."

Ryoma said with a touch of impatience in his tone, "What?" He glanced over at Fuji. "And what does he have to do with it?"

His mother cleared her throat again and looked directly at her son, then at her husband, but found him to be missing.

"Nanjiroh!" yelled Rinko angrily, "Come here to the living room this instant!"

Unaware of the newly arrived guest, she waved her hands frantically and bowed, apologizing, "Sorry for my rude manners."

"It's quite alright, Echizen-san."

Fuji sat down again and watched as the elder male of the Echizen household rushed in.

"Nanjiroh, you weren't by any chance reading one of those magazines again, were you?" She was getting a little off topic, perhaps. Fuji just sat there smiling through it all, as if all of it was completely normal, including his mother's temper.

The former tennis pro simply grumbled as he settled himself on the couch next to his feisty wife. "What makes you think that?" Nanjiroh said evasively. Rinko sighed, and decided to continue with what she was saying earlier.

"We are going to go to France for a week with Fuji-san's parents and sister," Rinko explained, "We've decided that Fuji-san and Yuuta-san will be staying with you in this house. And you're a girl.'

Ryoma's jaw dropped in an unseemly fashion.

"Like I said," Rinko repeated, taking a deep breath. "You're a girl...you can't play on the boys tennis team anymore. And we betrothed you to Fuji-san here. "

"You see... we decided that it will be better to live with your fiancé while we're gone," Rinko added at Ryoma's shocked look. "But Yuuta will be here to chaperone the both of you."

"What? I have to quit the tennis team?" Ryoma shouted, focusing on the more important thing, which was quite clearly tennis.

As if he understood the gibberish that sounded in his sharp ears, Karupin immediately scurried off and out of the living room, leaving behind a puff of smoke trailing. It did not have a very good feeling about this...

After a moment, Ryoma frowned. "How come I didn't know I was a girl before?"

His parents worriedly looked at each other before sighing and turning towards their child. They did not want the truth to hurt him, after all. Rinko sighed as she carefully chose her words before facing him, "Ryoma, dear, you're genetically a girl."

"Genetically?" Ryoma asked, rather sharply. "How can I be genetically a girl? I'm a boy. I look nothing like dad's magazines..."

His parents looked at each other before sighing.

"Eh, then thing is that you are as flat-chested as your mom!" His father explained with a smirk.

Fuji added with a smile, "And don't you feel that you're missing ... a certain male genitalia?"

"Nanjiroh, what are you saying?" She asked sharply, looking about ready to strike him on the head.

"Flat chested?" Ryoma pointed out. "I don't see..."

"Nanjiroh!" Rinko warned her husband.

"Kaa-san, please stop joking; and just hurry up and tell me the truth."

"I'm afraid that what we told you is the truth," Fuji said.

Ryoma frowned, still bemused, and a bit annoyed. Ryoma jabbed a finger at Fuji. "Why did you tell him before you told me?"

Rinko sighed again before eying her daughter, "We just didn't want for you to know that..."

"Know what?" interjected the twelve year old.

"Don't be that way, Ryoma," Rinko soothed. "You're going to marry Fuji. He was told by his parents that he'd marry you and... well."

She stopped and looked at the floor with a shy face.

"Well what?" asked Ryoma, rather clueless to the whole idea. "I don't want to get married!"

Fuji only smiled at Ryoma and said, "But it's been decided."

Rinko nodded in agreement, while Nanjiroh sat bored on the couch with his arms crossed.

Ryoma remained stubborn, "Yadda."

Rinko burst out, "But Nanjiroh and I thought you and Fuji-san's children would look so adorable, we decided to engage you two together! You're not going to ruin your poor mama's dream, right?" Rinko "sobbed".

Looking at his mother before at his senpai, Ryoma asked the other boy incredulously, "Fuji-senpai, you agree with this?"

"Of course, Echizen," a pause, "Or shall I call you Ryoma-chan now? Saa... either way, you are pretty cute. I don't mind."

Ryoma felt shivers tingling down his spine. He certainly did NOT want to be called such a thing by one of his senpais...or did he?

Ryoma glared at Fuji. "Fuji-sempai, I would appreciate it if you didn't call me that."

"Now now, call me Syusuke. Say it: Syu-su-ke."

In his head, he saw every one of the Seigaku regulars as 'suitors' and imagined the way Momoshiro-senpai and Eiji-senpai would poke him once they'd knew he was a girl.

"He was a girl" was the strangest sentence he ever said. But he nodded absently anyway, considering Fuji might leave him alone so he could muse on his new life alone.

"I'm never going to say that, Fuji-sempai," scowled Ryoma as he began to stand up from his seat, but Fuji easily persuaded his.

"Shall I tell all our Seigaku friends then that you are in fact a girl?"

He could only gulp and swallow his Adam's apple.

Rinko watched with stars in her eyes at the "couple's" interaction.

"Now that we're all set," she said while clapping her hands, "Please show Fuji-san to the guest room!"

Ryoma blinked. "Since when did we have a guest room?"

Definitely, a lot of things had been hidden from him...

Rinko stood and shooed the couple away, "Ryoma! Go show Fuji-san the guest room." She glowered, frightening her offspring, "N-O-W..."

"What..." mumbled Ryoma under his breath, thinking, "Fuji-senpai is staying here...damn..."

Fuji replied, "Well, since we're going to be married anyway, why don't we stay in the same room?"

Ryoma's eyes widened; there was no way he was going to share a room with Fuji. "Yadda."

Fuji nodded innocently. "I wouldn't want to be a bother, and I'm sure Ryoma-chan doesn't mind staying in the same room with me, right?" He smiled at Ryoma.

"...Right." Ryoma said meekly. He reeled back as Rinko squealed before asking quite desperately, "Hey, Kaa-san, what about Nanako-san?"

"Nanako-chan will be fine. She's moving into college already and has rented a dorm there, so no worries," reassured Rinko, smiling.

"Oh," Ryoma said in disappointment.

"Now, please show Fuji-san the way to your room, dear!"

As he reluctantly got up from his seat and led his senpai upstairs, Ryoma wondered why he had to be born into such an insane family.

Fuji, after being led to Ryoma's room, looked around.

"Ryoma-chan, since there's only one bed, I suppose we'll have to share it."

Ryoma only stood as stoically and still as his captain, Tezuka, in the middle of the room, his eyes closed as he rubbed his temples with his right hand.

"Yadda," Ryoma answered after some time, "There's a futon in the closet. Either you get the bed and I get the futon or the other way around."

Fuji simply replied serenely, "But if we're going to be married anyway, why make such a fuss? We can just share the bed."

"No," Ryoma walked past him to grab the futon out from the closet. "You can sleep on this while I get the bed."

As he placed the futon onto the floor, he felt herself falling backwards unintentionally, and yet, it wasn't an accident. A pair of arms snaked around his waist, and he knew exactly who the cause of this was. Struggling to break free, he said, "Fuji-senpai, let me go!" But Fuji only gripped tighter as Ryoma continued to pull himself out.

"Let me go," he warned again when Fuji didn't release his, and he gave Ryoma a sweet smile instead.

"How was I supposed to let Ryoma-chan fall?"

"I have fallen many times during tennis practice, Fuji-senpai," he retorted, pulling himself away from his fiancé.

Still smiling, he casually replied, "Call me Syusuke, not Fuji-senpai. How many times must I tell you that, Ryoma-chan?"

"Fuji-senpai." Ryoma retorted defiantly, probably caring more about the whole ordeal than Fuji did. He didn't want to add that this was what he would call him until they were married.

Since when did twelve-year-olds get married to their senpais in modern-day Japan?

Fuji only smiled sadistically at him, while Ryoma folded his arms and glared at him crossly.

"Saa, you should be getting ready for school then, neh, Ryoma-chan?" Fuji inquired.

"Let's just go," Ryoma said exasperated, wondering what excuse he'd give to Tezuka for quitting the tennis club. He wondered if he would have to tell the truth, or if Fuji might end up telling Tezuka for him. Grabbing his bag, he quickly descended down the stairs with Fuji following behind. He felt Fuji's smile and closed eyes piercing through his back, which made Ryoma shudder. Turning around before opening the door, Ryoma requested, "Fuji-sempai, do NOT tell anyone about this, OK?"

"Of course," Fuji replied, smiling widely. "What should we tell the tennis club then?"

"Nothing," bluntly said Ryoma, tipping down his white Fila cap to hide his face, "I repeat: NOTHING."

Fuji seemed amused. "So you'll drop out of the tennis club, just like that? Tezuka will ask for a reason, you know."

Ryoma shrugged, "Not like I have a choice. There's just no way I'm going to tell them I'm a girl and engaged to you."

Fuji put a finger under his own chin and looked up, pondering. "Well, they would be slightly surprised." Silence, for a second. "Wouldn't you like them to know eventually, though?"

"No. They'll make a big scandal out of it."

Fuji pondered a bit more, "But you'll still have all those fan girls after you. And you're mine. There's no way I want them to be eying you." Fuji wrapped his arms around Ryoma again.

Ryoma was about to protest, when Fuji added, "It's getting late. We should get to school, Ryoma-chan."

"I can't walk with you holding me."

"Saa..." Fuji groped Ryoma for a good bit before letting him go.

"Not like I'd date them, anyways," scoffed Ryoma. "Besides, I'll have fan boys if people know." The phrase was said huffily, but in his defense, Ryoma had to admit that he thought it was a logical counter.

Fuji stared at Ryoma, "But fan girls are much more aggressive. And if I told them I was marrying you, they'd all keep away anyway."

Ryoma huffed and walked faster. "Fuji-senpai?"

"Yes, Ryoma-chan? And how many times have I told you to call me Syusuke?"

"Just shut up and walk."

"Echizen!" suddenly hollered a loud voice, "I've been waiting for - Fuji-sempai?"

At the front of the Echizen household was Momoshiro Takeshi.

"Hello Momo," Fuji greeted him with his sadistic smile.

"Fuji-sempai, what are you doing here with Echizen?" Momo asked, confused.

"We're walking to school." Fuji said, calmly. Momoshiro blinked before asking again, "But why are you here with Echizen?"

"Because of personal matters." There was a slight warning in Fuji's voice.

"...I see. Well, then Echizen! I'll leave you with Fuji-senpai since you're walking. Ja!" Momo took off on his bike, missing the look of helplessness on Ryoma's face.

"Great.Fuji-senpai chased Momo-senpai off, " thought Ryoma to himself as he was helpless to watch Momo take off.

"Fuji-senpai!" There was annoyance in his voice as soon as Momoshiro was out of sight.

Fuji gave Ryoma an innocent look, "What?" he asked sweetly.

"You chased Momo-senpai away!" he scowled. It felt like Fuji was keeping him on with a leash.

Fuji opened his eyes, "But you're my fiancé. I have the right to protect my property."

Ryoma scowled. "I am not your property, Fuji-sempai."

"Of course you are. You're mine now, which means you're my property." Ryoma glared.

"No it doesn't!" He persisted, still. It was a silly thing to argue over, because most annoyingly, Fuji always seemed to have the last word in any sort of thing.

"Why not?"

"Because...! Because! Well, because we aren't married yet!" It was the best he could give as Fuji seemed to always make a point.

"But you're still my fiancé. Either way you're mine."

"Fuji is far too persistent, " thought Ryoma with a sinking heart.

"I'm not yours, Fuji-senpai!" It was a last ditch effort, but it was by no means a foreboding one. Fuji didn't even seem warded off.

"Yes, you are," Fuji stated calmly.

"No, I'm not! Prove it!" The girl threw his hands up in frustration.

"Sure." Before Ryoma could move, Fuji seized him by the waist and kissed him..

"Wha-"

"Good enough for you?" Fuji asked a minute later, his smile visibly wider when he released a speechless Ryoma.

Ryoma glared. "That doesn't prove anything."

"Oh? I was pretty sure you enjoyed it."

"I did not" His voice squeaked, and his cheeks turned slightly red. "Stop assuming things!"

"But I heard you moan; you're also blushing." Fuji said in a teasing voice.

Ryoma tried to find his voice to protest, but it seemed caught in his throat. Turning his face away from that triumphant smile, he felt his face grow hotter at his teasing comment. "We-we'll be late for school if we don't hurry."

Fuji looked at his wristwatch, "Actually, we're already running five minutes late." He said it as if it was nothing.

Okazu-sensei, Ryoma's temperamental homeroom teacher, was going to be mad; that, and they weren't even close to school.

"You know, you don't need to rush," Fuji pointed out, just as calm.

Ryoma only remained quiet. Since talking to Fuji only made things worse, he might as well ignore him.


O W A R I


Authors' Notes:

Sweet Obsidian Rain: I had fun writing this, and I hope it isn't too much for all you readers. Because we are all different writers with different writing styles, excuse us if the flow is a bit… off. xD (Story Host)

Eternal.Angel: I want to say that I love everybody who contributed to our story! D Especially Dudly-sama, Awin-chan, Kyoka, Dream-san, and Rain-chan; they worked so hard to make this story great! (Editor)

First Unrevised Version 8.13.07
First Revised Version 8.13.07