Love

Disclaimer – I own nothing.

When you're a kid you either think love is stupid and icky or only real in the fairy tales your dad tells you. Some people never really learn to love and some believe that's the best way. I wish I still thought it to be stupid, I wish I'd never fallen in love, because if I hadn't I might never have lost my heart.

When I was 11 I meet a girl, she was pretty I even noticed that back then. She was scared and quiet so I tried to help her.

'Hi' I said in a timid voice to the girl sat next to me in my class, she was new, 'my names Zach Goode, you?'

'Cammie Morgan' she replied, she seemed terrified obviously nervous about the first day of school.

'There's nothing to be nervous about everyone's great here, no lie' I smiled trying to reassure her, she looked at me trying to see through my words for a lie but realised I was being truthful, the corners of her mouth turned up slightly, 'we can hang out if you'd like' she looked at me and her face broke into a full on smile.

'I'd like that; I don't know anybody at this school', she looked up at him relived that she may have found a friend.

We became friends after that; I would always look out for her. We just clicked, we could always talk to each other, and it was never awkward. As the years went by we didn't hang out with each other as much but we still spoke most days and before I had time to realize it, I had fallen head over heels for her.

Once I had realised this, I went to school and kind of asked her out. I say kind of because you couldn't really understand the words that I said but she must have known because she said 'yes I'd love to', and she turned up to the date. I was so nervous, I mean it was only Cammie but this was important.

I sat down in the mini restaurant and stared at the girl in front of me, I was just a little bit nervous – which was the understatement of the year. She smiled and laughed at my jokes even though I knew I was not at my usually funny self, she seemed to realise I was a 'tad' nervous because she took my hand and repeated the very words I had said to her one her first day.

'There's nothing to be nervous about everyone's great here, no lie' I laughed at the serious expression she wore as she spoke the word, 'and we can hang out if you'd like' she continued.

'I'd like that', I leaned in, and I have no idea what possessed me to, and kissed her very lightly on her lips. As I pulled away I was bricking it thinking I had tried to kiss her too soon, I was internally hitting myself in the face. But she smiled and squeezed my hand, looking quite happy with herself, I was now internally dancing and high fiving every guy in the restaurant.

After that date we went out, we weren't always together but we were together most of the time. We broke up for a while in university but we both felt terrible and ended up back together after two weeks of moping in our dorms. We were happy and by the time we had graduated I had a ring.

I had taken Cammie dancing and had the ring in my pocket – tonight was the night. She seemed a bit suspicious as to why I was taking her dancing but I don't think she had any idea that I was going to propose.

I loved to dance with Cammie, not because she was a good dancer, because she wasn't a good dance at all, it was because she didn't care that she couldn't dance. She just held onto me and let me spin her around; she didn't care that people looked at her and most likely laughed at her terrible rhythm. She always smiled when they danced and I would always pick her up into my arms if she ever stumbled or fell.

'Hey, Cammie ya wanna get married?' I whispered in her ear, kissing her check. She looked up at me, astounded. 'WHAT!' she screeched at me.

'Do you want to get married?' I spoke slower looking her in the eyes; she looked like she was trying to hide her smile.

She seemed to be in shock but her eyes told me that she was ecstatic. I realised I should probably get on one knee but I think I missed my chance, oh well. So I slowly got down on my knee and pulled the ring out my pocket, people were starting to stare but who cared.

'Will you marry me?' I asked the question for the third time, hoping she would actually answer me.

She mumbled something that I didn't hear, and then shouted 'OF COURSE!', while trying to jump into my arms. I kissed her for a few minutes and realised we probably should move from the dance floor. As I stood I put my arm around my fiancé; I was engaged. I couldn't help the smirk that reached my lips as I held her hand and the crowd parted for us as we exited the dance floor.

Our wedding was beautiful but I guess I was biased, a little bit. We lived in married bliss for five years, when my wonderful wife told me she was expecting our first. To say I was happy would have been an understatement, I was almost as happy as when I had married Cammie. The pregnancy was hard for Cammie but she overcame it and gave birth to a bouncing baby boy, Noah Matthew Goode.

I actually loved being a dad, I mean I hated never sleeping and the crying, but I guess it was kind of like Uni without the alcohol. But I realised I never resented any of that and neither did Cammie.

Noah grew like any boy would happy, cheeky and messy. I realised I loved my wife even more than before now she had given me a child. I should have known that everything was too good, that love was stupid like I had known as a child.

'I'm gonna get the shopping, honey.' My wife called through to me, and I looked up to see her holding my son. 'Will you keep him with you? He is too over energized to go to the shop.' She smiled at Noah, tickling his sides and finally kissing his nose.

'Sure, come here little man' I ran over to my son scoping him up in my arms holding him tight to my side, I kissed my wife goodbye, 'have fun' I smirked at her; she laughed sarcastically and kissed me back. 'Oh I will' she replied sarcastically. Neither one of us liked doing the shopping it was so boring but unfortunately it was necessary, I had shopped last week so she was shopping this week.

'Bye bye mummy, love you' Noah spoke in his cute kid voice, Cammie kissed his nose and his cheeks and kissed me one last time before turning and leaving the house.

'Come on kiddo, let's play a game' I smiled at my son letting him down, he scampered away from me so I chased him around the house. After a couple of hours we sat down and watched Cars. Once the filmed Noah decided he wanted to play with his Lego, after another hour I started to get worried I hadn't realised Cammie had been gone for so long. I decided she had probably met up with one of our friends and had forgotten to call. But as I was getting Noah ready for bed I realised something was very wrong, I had tried to call her about twenty times. I had tried all our friends and family but none of them had seen her today. I dressed Noah for bed and told him he could play for a couple more minutes.

I had decided to drop Noah off at Cammie's parents and go search for her, and if I couldn't find her I was going to call the police. I tried to feel calm for Noah's sake but I felt myself falling apart, I tried to think I was overreacting but I had a feeling I wasn't. That was the worst feeling I had ever had.

I had Noah in my arms and I buckled Noah up, drove to Cammie's parent's house and dropped Noah off, both of her parents seemed worried but I didn't have time to talk and calm them down. I needed to find Cammie.

I drove around for thirty minutes before I found her car, I raced towards her car and saw her front side window was smashed open. I got out of my car running towards her car, pulling the door open before I looked inside. I finally looked towards my wife; she had blood streaked on her face and bruises on the skin I could see.

I reached out brushing her hair from her eyes; I gently pulled her onto my knee. I pulled out my phone ringing an ambulance. Nobody was around the sun was dipping low in the sky and the street lamps were starting to light the place up. I rocked her kissing forehead whispering sweet nothings as we waited for the ambulance. She was breathing and her heart was beating but it was slower than I would think to be safe.

'Cammie, darling, I've got you, I'm here', I looked at her, who had done this to my girl? Who thought they could hurt her? 'Please don't leave, you promised me we'd always be together! You can't leave me now, not like this!' I tried to keep my cool, but I'd never been good at keeping my grief under control, she just needed to wake up and everything would be okay. I needed her to wake up. Now!

She never woke; her eyes never looked up in to mine. She left me. Someone took my wife. My son lost his mother. And I realised that love shouldn't be real, it just plays with your heart and takes it from you, making you need another but when they are taken so is your heart and it leaves you all but dead.

Children are the smartest humans I know, they tell people love exists in fairy tales and that it's stupid. I wish I'd listened when I was a kid, I wish I'd remembered my feelings when I was that young. If I had I might have been saved. I might not have felt like an empty shell that was just waiting to die.