My fingers trembled. She was laying on her back on my bed, the lights were dim and she seemed much more relaxed than expected for it being her first time. I stood across the room admiring her almost bare body. She had headphones in her ears, it seemed to calm her. My anxiety levels were out of whack. I took a deep breath and sat at the edge of the bed. She crawl up next to me, took my hand and kissed me gently. "Hey, your hands…" She grabbed my face to look me in the eye, her puppy dog eyes were sparkling as the dim lighting from my lap hit them. She bit her lip and my eyes stayed locked on hers. "You're shaking." She took my hands and squeezed them gently as she moved towards my ear, "I want this." She moved away, looking at the ceiling. I took my shirt off and shimmied out of my tight black pants. I laid next to her, our bare legs tangled with each other. "Sure?"

She smiled at me and kissed me sweetly on the lips, "Positive." Stealing a person's innocence was not on my bucket list. The moment this happened I knew she wouldn't be the same Clare Edwards and I knew this time, I wouldn't be the same Eli Goldsworthy. I was able to tell her I loved her, it wasn't that. What was stopping me? My stomach was spinning and the room grew hot. I felt her fingers dragging down my back softly. Her belief she felt so strongly about seemed to fade, then I realized she lost her innocence a long time ago with her parents. I got closer to her and hovered above her, "I love you." I whispered. She kissed me softly.

My hands rubbed her smooth, soft skin and she ran her hands up my chest. As I sat up, I brought her up with me as she sat on my lap I sucked gently on her shoulders leaving light purple trails. She bit her lip and tilted her head back. My hand went to grab the condom from the drawer. I brought it to my mouth to rip it open. I heard her gasp, I felt her body shake. She turned into a small girl, scared. I grabbed her face and kissed her softly, " I love you, I won't hurt you." I moved her on her back and crawled on top of her as I slipped on the condom. I left a trail of kisses down her neck and I peered up to her and saw her chewing on her lip. My hands massaged her waist and our legs braided around each other for a while. This was the moment I was waiting for for the longest time. I get to deflower Clare Edwards. It was as if I had conquered her. She was the gem I searched for and winning her was the biggest victory of my life.

As I slipped my hardened self into her, I felt her pull me roughly closer to her. Her nails dug into my shoulders and her small, cries came out. The pain she must have felt as every inch go into her must have been unbearable. I hid my face, everytime she weeped in pain, I shedded one tear. The woman I loved was in pain, and I was causing it. Her hands softened and wiped my tears on my arm, hiding my face until there were no tears in sight. She wrapped her arms around my neck as my arms were pressed down on the bed being the support for both of us. Our skins clashed into each other, her cries of agony turned into whimpers of pleasure. My lips met hers and our tongues danced around each other, playing a game of tag. Her breast were glowing as the light hit her misted chest from the sweat. Our motions were in sync with each other. I thrust harder and faster into her. Her breathing was irregular. I grabbed her thighs and squeezed gently, and then I heard it. She said my name in the midst of a moan. I swallowed hard and it pushed me to pleasure her more. Her back arched as she clenched onto the black bed sheets.

Moments past, and it finally happened. We reached our points of release. I slowed down my motions and fell off her. My chest moved slowly up and down as I tried to regain my breathing. Her fingers drew circles around my bellybutton. I watched her and smirked as she laid her bead on my chest. "How do you feel…" I asked in a soft tone. She moved up to my neck and kissed me. "I feel different." I raised an eyebrow, unsure what she meant. She grabbed my hand and locked my fingers with hers. "I love you." She whispered. I let her lay on my chest in silence as we took in the silence and the events that just happened. I took out a cigarette from my drawer. I lit it and took a drag. She looked at me and smirked. She grabbed the cigarette from my fingers and took a drag. I looked at her with a confused smirk across my face. When she took in a breath, she coughed and choked on the smoke. "Okay Edwards, let's try not to break every commandment." I laughed. She sat up with her bare breast exposed to me and I admired them. She smiled at me and she grabbed my leather jacket and put it on. She wrapped herself tight…..

The Alarm chimed. My eyes opened. I looked at my hands clenched on the sheets and I realized, it was all a dream.